~_____~

It felt like she was into some kind of smokey fog, kind of like a trance. However much she tried to blink, her eyes it felt like someone or something had taped her eyes shut. It was a long struggle before she heard footsteps around her and voices. And at last she felt her fingers move before she was free.

The light in the ceiling blurred as if it were the sun smudged with yellow crayon. Shutting her eyes to clear her eyesight she opened them again before slowly sitting up. She was confused about where she was at first before she saw all the patients around her. The dizziness she’d felt earlier spun inside her head attacking her with an immediate headache before she realized that she felt sore all over.

What had happened?

Holding her head to steady herself she climbed off the bed and looked around once more. Starting toward the service desk she waited for the nurse to put down the phone she was talking into. The call lasted for about two longer minutes and Namjoo wondered why there weren’t more nurses around. She really wanted to get out of there.

“Yes, how may I help you?” The nurse asked after finally putting the phone down.

“Oh…I…why am I here? Is something wrong with me?”

“Your name?”

“Kim Namjoo.”

Namjoo couldn’t help, but lean over the counter to see what the nurse was looking for after deeply nodding.

“Ahh…” she sounded before handing her a piece of paper, “the doctor wants you to come back here in a week.”

She felt the ball of confusion explode inside her, “W…why?”

The nurse smiled sweetly, “You’re two to three weeks pregnant. He’s prescribed you some vitamins on this sheet and to rest a lot; make sure you take those daily. Your body’s fatigued, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. It’s going to cause stress for the baby.”

The explosion inside her turned into molten lava deafening her ears for a split second, “Excuse me?” Namjoo shook her head in denial and laughed, “No. I think you have the wrong person. That can’t be me.”

“No,” the nurse shook her head, “you’re the only Kim Namjoo here.”

The nurse slid the paper toward her, “Congratulations by the way.”

Namjoo still shook her head as the world stilled around her, but her eyes ran over the paper sitting on the counter. She couldn’t move.

This wasn’t right.

This couldn’t be happening.

This person wasn’t her.

It couldn’t be her.

“Um…excuse me,” a voice behind her interrupted her train of thoughts. “May I get through?”

Grabbing the sheet she strutted toward the door quickly with her heart ramming against her chest so hard she thought she might drop dead again. Her insides quivered and her blood ran cold.

This…this person wasn’t her…

The automatic doors opened in front of her, but she didn’t move a step forward. Nurses and doctors walked by busily, but her eyes glued themselves to the sheet of paper with a description of the vitamins prescribed to her along with a record of her pregnancy.

She could feel her intestines ripping themselves apart; shredding every bit of her to nothing.

“Miss, you shouldn’t stand here,” a voice broke into her head.

Without turning she robotically stepped out into the hallway before she heard someone shout her name. Lifting her head up automatically she saw Suho hurrying toward her. Her heart immediately against her chest heavily again. Immediately folding the paper up she stuck it into her back pocket.

“Are you ok?” Suho worried.

Namjoo stared at him wide eyed. Her mind suddenly blanked. She felt like a fool, like she didn’t know what was going on at all. The pounding inside her ears became louder by the second.

“Namjoo?” He waved his hand in front of her. “Hello.”

“Oh…I…I want to go home.”

Stepping back Suho smiled, “I’ll take you.”

But inside her own car she stared ahead blankly, eyes opened widely. Forced into the passenger’s seat she couldn’t think. Her mind was as empty as the night, large and wide; just pitch black. 

“You scared us back there,” Suho went on inside the car. “I told you you should have gone to the doctor. Are you sure you’re alright? It’s not just fatigue? You’re not sick anywhere? Donghae was so worried.”

She blinked before clamping her hand up into a light fist. A part of her was scared, but the larger part of her didn’t believe this.

“I think…I messed up.” Her voice was utterly quiet.

“What?” Suho asked lost. “What did you mess up?”

Her eyes darted all over the place before she turned to stare out the window.

No, she didn’t believe any of the doctor’s lies. All of it was a lie. She didn’t need the vitamins. She was just tired, just as Suho said.

She was just fatigued.

~_____~

Chorong had finished prepping a late lunch hoping she and Namjoo might be able to eat together after she returned from Wonju. Since Namjoo had been kind enough to offer her her apartment Chorong felt a little safer. Maybe it had to do with the fact that they were both women and had experienced the same trauma. It wouldn’t be embarrassing for her to show she was afraid in front of Namjoo nor would it be embarrassing for her to talk about it.

As she stared down at the table she’d filled with food she hoped Namjoo wouldn’t mind that she’d gone through her shelves. Feeling light hearted Chorong smiled hopefully before turning to stare at Tao’s packed porridge sitting on the counter beside Kris’ phone. She was curious about which one Namjoo would take.

After checking her watch for the fifth time she heard the door unlock before a pale faced Namjoo walked in.

“You’re back?” Chorong asked with a slight smile, but Namjoo didn’t look up as she slid her shoes off, almost as if she hadn’t heard her at all.

When she glanced up she looked surprised.

Worried Chorong asked, “Are you ok? Did something happen?”

“No,” Namjoo shook her head, “I just…I forgot you were here.”

Namjoo tilted her head before spotting the table filled with food. Chorong followed her gaze before smiling a little nervously.

“I thought I should at least cook you something since you let me stay,” Chorong told hoping she wouldn’t be angered. “I kind of went through your things. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, it’s fine,” Namjoo managed a smile. “I couldn’t eat earlier. Thanks for the food.”

The smile that appeared on Chorong’s face this time was broad before she sat down with Namjoo at the table. It’d been forever since she’d sat with a friend at a table to eat. To think of it, she’d been on her own for a while. Eating with colleagues at work didn’t feel like this.

“I’m not that great of a cook, so I hope it tastes ok,” Chorong went on.

Namjoo nodded before taking a first bite of her soup and nodded, “It’s good.”

Relieved, Chorong let out a sigh and finally picked up her utensils. “You’re still coming out this weekend, right? I think my parents would really like you, especially my dad. If I haven’t told you before, my whole family has served in the police force. He’d be really interested in your work and because you have such a high position too.”

“You share the work too.”

“But I don’t know as much as you,” Chorong shook her head. “I still have a lot to learn. Plus, I didn’t climb up the ladder to where they wanted me to.”

She felt Namjoo glance up at her and she let out an embarrassed laugh to fix the atmosphere.

“I mean I don’t hate my job,” Chorong talked on, “just…my career choices seemed limited to me.”

“So you broke out of their expectations.” It wasn’t a question, but more of a statement.  

Chorong’s voice box went quiet.

“I know,” Namjoo said, “how that is. I don’t think it matters in the end. You just do what you do.”

Chorong glanced at Namjoo glad to be relieved of some feelings buried inside. Namjoo seemed to understand her so easily just like Suho in a way. Or maybe it had to do with how they responded to her. Chorong couldn’t quite figure that out, but she thought they were very similar.

No wonder they were always together.

“You looked scared this morning,” Namjoo spoke up after a short moment of silence. “I heard what happened yesterday.”

It felt like her eyes had been glued to this new friend of hers the whole time. Namjoo really knew a lot…Of course; after all that she’d been through, only she would know best.

“I’m ok,” Chorong pushed herself to answer afraid she would become a burden. Namjoo didn’t look well anyway and she’d feel apologetic for bothering her.  

Namjoo looked up from her plate to look back at her before averting her eyes, “If you still feel afraid, you can stay the night here.”

All of a sudden it felt like her world brightened up and a weight on her chest was lifted. Was Namjoo…for real?

Without waiting for her to answer Namjoo stood up with her plate and turned around to set it into the sink. Chorong caught her looking at the packed porridge and the phone on the counter.

“Oh, Tao stopped by earlier,” Chorong explained, “and the phone…it belongs to Kris, right?”

Namjoo didn’t turn around for a long while as if she were trying to come up with some excuse to give. Chorong wondered why she hesitated to just say yes.

“It’s ok,” Chorong started, hoping to ease Namjoo’s worry. “I know that he likes you. I won’t say anything.”

“No, it’s not like that,” Namjoo refuted turning around to look at her. “He just comes over sometimes to eat or bug me like usual. There’s nothing more to think about.”

Chorong stared back at Namjoo wondering why she’d said that. It was pretty obvious, wasn’t it, that she and Kris had something going on? Or was she the only one who saw it?

“Chorong,” Namjoo called, “you want to ask about Suho, don’t you?”

Her heart suddenly started racing and she felt like panicking. What was this all of a sudden? What was Namjoo talking about?

opened, but her words seemed to trample and trip over each other before she stopped and quieted. A soft, tender smile crossed over Namjoo’s lips, but before she began to talk the ringing of the doorbell interrupted her.

~_____~

“Tao?” Donghae called out when he walked into the quiet apartment.

The TV wasn’t on and music wasn’t blasting from Tao’s room. This was quite unusual. Tao usually took to enjoying himself once they returned to his apartment, and he did it whether Donghae liked what he did or not.

Walking further into the room he spotted someone draped over the couch with eyes closed. Stopping by the end of the couch Donghae stared down at him. Wasn’t he too big for the couch? His feet were sticking over the other end of the couch and it looked uncomfortable.

“Are you really going to sleep like this?” Donghae asked.

“Leave me alone.” Tao muttered.

It was just as Donghae thought.

“Get up.”

When Tao didn’t budge he repeated himself again. This time Tao sat up, crossed his arms, and leaned back into the couch with eyes shut.

“What’s gotten into you?” Donghae wondered.

“Nothing.”

Donghae felt a small smile fall onto his face. Tao was throwing a tantrum about something. Perhaps it had to do with the reason that Namjoo hadn’t been in and he hadn’t been able to visit her. Tao, he thought, was much easier to read than he’d ever thought. Unlike the tough brat who put up an attitude with him and spoke carelessly about what was on his mind, he was kind of resilent now.

Tao had come such a long way, Donghae acknowledged it, but he still had such a long path before him.

“Namjoo was at the hospital,” Donghae told, “she should be back home now. Why don’t you go see her?”

~_____~

Stuck with taking a cab back Suho thought about the best of it and thought to stop by Kris’ place. He was in just as expected.

“Your family’s not home?” Suho looked around before inviting himself to sit down.

“My sister-in-law’s getting her ultrasound done today,” Kris explained, “so they’re at the hospital.”

“Ah…really? That sounds exciting.”

Kris smiled in reply, “So why are you here? And out of the blue too.”

Suho eyed him before turning to look at him, “Those tickets a while back, you know they were really expensive. You really didn’t go to the musical?”

Kris frowned at him confused before recalling, “Why are you talking about that?”

“Cause they were really expensive!” Suho droned on. “I spent a lot on those! And to think I was helping you too!” Leaning his head back he muttered, “What a waste.” Then quickly turned to him, “You should have gone together no matter what anyway. You really didn’t meet up with Namjoo that day?”

“No, I saw her that day. We just went somewhere else.”

“You saw her that day?” Suho deeply frowned with surprise then laughed to himself. “So I was lied to.”

“What?”

Suho shook his head, “Anyway, we were talking about the hospital.”

“We were?”

“Namjoo was at the hospital,” Suho announced.

“What!?” Kris’ voice almost echoed throughout the room as he shot up to his feet. “Why? What happened? Where did you two go?”

“Calm down,” Suho tried, “she out for a while.”

Kris’ bewildered eyes sat on him before Suho sensed that his time was up.

Standing as well he said, “You’re going to see her, right? You better hurry along or Tao’s going to beat you to it.”

~_____~

Inside her chest she felt an invisible hand squeeze her heart. She was suddenly overfilled with this uncomfortable aura. Maybe she felt anxious, maybe not. Perhaps she was nervous, because she knew Donghae would go to Tao, who would come running. And maybe she could tell what Suho was up to too. And she knew Kris would come running as well.

She thought she didn’t need this right now.

“Should I get the door?” Chorong offered when she only stood there to listen to the melodious ring of it.

Biting her lip she finally stepped forward. Every step of the way there made her heart thud harder within her ears. Everything was so silent that she felt like she heard her blood churning. Once again, she felt the soreness of her body and recalled the paper tucked into her pocket.

The doctor must have made a mistake. She was just exhausted. Stress had made her miss her period. That was it. There was nothing else to it.

Her right foot suddenly stopped beside her left foot when she stood in front of the door. Pressing her lips together she gulped before reaching for the doorknob. It came in slow motion, happened so slowly she could see the atoms that made up the solid tingle and move.

As the door caked wider and wider she felt her heart drumming harder against her chest. No less than a millisecond later she found herself looking up into his eyes. 

***I was saving this (the pregnancy news) for later, but whatever. I need something to write about. Pwuah! I finally got to it after two months of coming up with it =.= It amazes me how slowly this flows, almost like a sitcom; cause you know everything happens so slowly in sitcoms too. haha

***Who will be the first to find out about it? It could be anyone from both teams