A few countless sighs escaped Suho's lips as he hung his head back, gently knocking it into the wall. The corridor was empty and he would have started being paranoid of hearing noises, but there was no mood for it. After all that happened, he felt like he was partially responsible for Namjoo's fall, Donghae's irrational behavior, Tao and Kris' fights, Victoria's competitive game with Donghae, and Lay and Chorong, who've been putting forth all their effort but gotten emotionally exhausted in the process. 

Suho, the medium, felt like he could have done something to lessen all the stress and tension within the group. But he hadn't been able to. 

Releasing a deep sigh he finally turned to walk into the room. He'd been sincerely glad and relieved they'd gotten to Chorong, but he hadn't been given the chance to relinquish the relief. Once at the hospital he'd followed Victoria to the surgery ward, because his long time mate's life was on the line. He wasn't about to choose between Chorong or Namjoo. They were very different people to him. 

While waiting for time to pass, he thought he could at least stop by and see how Chorong was doing. He owed it to her for having lost her to those people so easily. 

Chorong was sitting on the bed with her knees pulled up to her chest, her eyes concentrated on the window at the side. The curtains hadn't been closed, offering a delicate night view of the city lights. A white bandage had been gently wrapped around her head with a soft sheet of cushion as pressure against the cut at the back of her head. There was a needle in her wrist. She looked like a lonely patient, secluded from the outside. 

To catch her attention he knocked his hand against the wall and offered a smile when she turned. 

"How you doing?" He asked walking in. 

"I'm doing fine," she replied with a bursting smile, a little soft, a little sad. 

Plopping down onto the bed beside her, he too, turned to look at the city lights. The way they sparkled amidst the darkness was appeasing and peaceful. 

"Are you able to go home soon?" Suho wondered. 

"Maybe in the afternoon, I hope." 

He nodded and they continued to sit in silence, not the kind of awkward silence that had gathered between them at headquarters that one morning. It was a soft endearing silence stretching the exhaustion between them in a gentle, coaxing manner. 

"I'm," Chorong began, "a little hungry." 

Suho turned to look at her before firmly smiling, "What do you want to eat? I'll get it for you." 

"A burger and some fries." 

A while later after his return he watched Chorong hungrily chow down the food like a child starved for hours. When he thought about how hungry she'd been, but had been unable to do anything in her weak state he was even more apologetic. Yet, he didn't know how to start apologizing to her. 

After hungrily swallowing she glanced at him embarrassed and he offered a smile to help her relax. He was glad to know she was hungry and he was glad he'd been able to feed her. In a way, Suho felt proud, like he'd done a good deed. 

Holding out some napkins to her he watched her wipe her hands and before clutching onto them. A momentary silence swept over them until she lifted her eyes up to look at him somewhat shyly. 

"Thank you," she thanked. "I was actually waiting for you to come see me." 

Slowly lifting his eyes back up to look at her he lowered them again. And he felt guilty and he was sorry that he had no time to spare to talk about her feelings, his feelings. As if getting his vibe, Chorong looked away. 

"I heard about Namjoo," she spoke again. "I'm sorry I didn't do anything to stop them from hurting her. If I'd caught on a little sooner, if I'd been a little more determined, a little stronger, it wouldn’t have happened. I'm sorry." 

Yes, he was sorry too. He was apologetic he'd been too distracted with trying to rescue Chorong he hadn't been able to think of anything else. He regretted not catching sight of the last of Namjoo's strength as she prepared to head out with them. He was sorry to everyone. 

"I'm sorry too." Suho quietly apologized, finally looking at her. "For letting them hurt you; for letting you suffer like that; and that you feel you have to apologize. Thank you, for coming back alive. You've fought hard, I see it, so don't be tired and get better."

Really, he meant it from the bottom of his heart. His utmost relief was that she was still alive, but he was surprised when tears started dropping from her eyes. Suho helplessly blanked when she reached up to wipe the descending tears. He was worried. Had he said something wrong? 

"I'm," she cried, "so happy I met you."

A smile filtered his lips at her silly reason for crying. At first he hesitated before finally allowing himself to reach out and hug her. 

~_____~

Kris was downstairs in the hospital chapel. At this lone hour he was the only presence among the four rows of pews, with his head hung low. He actually didn't know how he was feeling after the brawl with Tao, but he was glad he'd gotten hit. Honestly, he felt he deserved it. All along he'd only been content with his own feelings and he, too, was guilty of letting her lose the baby. 

When Namjoo had approached him those many times, he'd thought it was because she was becoming fond of him. It was only now he was realizing he'd been naïve. It probably wasn't that at all. Perhaps, she'd been trying to leave little hints in her footsteps that she wasn't one, but two. Yet, he hadn't picked up the clues, being greedy about only the way he felt.  

How hard it must have been for her so alone like that. Had she been scared? Had she hated it? How much she must have stressed over it, and he didn't know.  

He felt ashamed and useless. Perhaps it was why Namjoo had chosen not to tell him anything, having gone to Tao instead. 

He should have at least guessed there was a possibility for pregnancy, but it hadn't crossed his stupid mind. He was angry with Tao, with Namjoo, and even more so...with himself. If he'd been able to handle himself out there, Namjoo wouldn't had to have come for him. 

They hadn't killed him, so why'd she come?

Where was his right to agonize over this?  

"Useless idiot," he mumbled to himself. 

It was all his fault that she'd had to go through all that; that their baby couldn't even live to see the light. If he'd been more capable...he would have shielded her without a second thought. He'd do anything if he could turn back time and switch their positions around, so that he'd be lying on that bed instead of her; that the pain would be his to bear instead of hers. 

He should have known about the baby. He could have had his own family...

What was he to say to her when she woke up? 

What could he do to fix her broken heart? 

~_____~

The clock read exactly four in the morning. The sun was starting its reign in the sky, its faint glow paving a path through the dark. It was barely noticeable amongst the bright city lights, greedily stealing the scenery.  

Donghae had nodded off for an hour and awoke again, hoping to find Namjoo awake. She was clearly taking to her advantage all the time in the world to catch up on sleep she'd missed out on. And he thought that was good, sleep longer.  

And he recalled Lay scolding him.  

"All you two ever care about are your own goals. What about us? What about our opinions? We're being ordered to do this and that while all you two do is fight. You two aren't team leaders. You're even worse than children right now. What is the damn point of working together when we're all doing our own thing? This shouldn't even be considered a case at all. What the hell is wrong with you? We're all working toward the same goal! We're supposed to be a team!"

Thus far, all he'd done was tell Suho and Namjoo fulfill various assignments for him secretly. Not once had he asked for their opinions, and they always did as directed.  

For the first time ever, he was wondering if he'd been too hard on them.  

Was he...that bad?  

Glancing over his shoulder back toward Namjoo, his eyes in the view of how she slept so soundly, so peacefully.

Suho and Namjoo had tried numerous times to get through to him. He'd always swatted their words away, because all he'd thought about was Eunhyuk and Hyukjae. Despite his stinginess, they were still loyal to him, always taking his side. 

What had he done to deserve that? When he couldn't recall doing a single thing for them, but granting them a vacation only to cut it short. Why was he only now, going over all the dangerous positions he'd planted Suho and Namjoo in? In the end, he was only making them plausible targets for Hyukjae and his men.

Donghae hadn't thought that things would go to the extent where either Suho or Namjoo might face death out there. Yet, he'd brought that nightmare to life.     

All the things Namjoo had gone through in order just to help him close in on Hyukjae had torn her emotionally. She'd had no time stabilize her mentality. Suho too, always persevered for him. All the time he'd taken away from them had rid them of their personal lives.

He was a hypocrite for telling them he wanted them to live happily when, at the very end, he always took those moments in time from them. Those moments would be some they'd never get back. All his frantic uproars for just Hyukjae was tearing their lives apart. 

Donghae honestly hadn't seen it.                                 

Had he burdened them so much that Namjoo didn't even dare to tell him she was carrying another life in her? That instead of Tao, she was with someone else? 

He...must have been so burdensome.

Was Hyukjae really worth it? At the cost of his peoples' lives?  

At the sound of a lost mumble, he immediately swung around to find Namjoo finally twisting her head, her hand grasping the hospital sheets. Without a moment's hesitation he skid over to her, watching as she tried to wake. The surgery must have taken a toll on her and he was apologetic for how she would be scarred physically and mentally.  

Tears threatened to cover his eyes when she began to weakly open her eyes. He didn't think he'd be so relieved and thankful to see someone waking up. Still appearing drowsy and realizing her eyesight must be hazy as she stared at him for a long moment to try and recognize him, he couldn't help but smile.

"Hey," he greeted, running his hand over her hair. "Can you recognize me?" 

Her eyes rolled toward the corner of her lids as if to see where she was. After a few seconds her eyes closed again and he thought she'd fallen back asleep, but they opened again and she tried to sit up. 

"No, no," he grabbed her shoulders to stop her. "You're not well yet. Just lay down." 

Against his resistance, Namjoo still managed to push his hands away and he ended up helping her up. As she sat there with her back slightly hunched, her hair hanging forward, he could feel the most sensational feelings of a human reeking from her. 

During all the time he'd known Namjoo, she was always a person with strict lenience, feisty and stubborn at that. He'd rarely ever heard a joke come from her, but she had a strong sense of righteousness and was always determined to win, ready to protect the weak, like how she remained protective over Suho's vulnerabilities. Namjoo hated making her weaknesses visible, so she always hid behind her rigid smile. She wasn't one who cried much, but today he was seeing her tears flood like a faucet.  

The way she tried to muffle her sobs and how she held onto the blanket to keep quiet had never hit his heart so hard before. 

"It's ok," he comforted, hugging her, gently her hair, "it's ok." 

And he never imagined he would have to listen to her cry her broken heart out with an embrace that couldn't do justice. 

Namjoo immediately sunk back into a long sleep after he alerted the doctor that she'd woken up. Although he couldn't return the life lost, he was determined to put everything back in place for the sake of all their lives. 

Suho returned five hours later looking replenished from a nap, but Donghae took note that his outfit from yesterday hadn't changed. 

"Where've you been?" Donghae questioned. 

"In the lobby." He replied with a dazzling smile. "Did Namjoo not wake up yet?"  

"She did," Donghae nodded and watched Suho's eyes brighten up. "So stay here while I head out for a moment."  

At this, Suho's brows rose, "Where? What are you going to do?"  

"I'm going to change and get something to eat," Donghae told.  

"Looks like someone's human after all," Suho commented with a glad, yet mischevious smile.  

"Where's Tao?"  

"Must be at home. You should go check up on him too."  

Donghae nodded and started stepping toward the door, but stopped in his steps. Turning around he watched Suho observe Namjoo carefully before readjusting the blanket over her. Suho and Namjoo had always been good friends. Even though different in many aspects, their sense of justice and understanding of each other made them one of the best teams. Where Suho lacked, Namjoo could make up for. And in situations overwhelming for Namjoo, Suho would take over. 

He wouldn't be able to get anything done if he didn't have the two of them by his side. If he still wanted them around he'd definitely have to treat them better.

"I'm sorry, Suho," Donghae was inclined to apologize.  

Spinning around abruptly, Suho shot him a widening stare.  

"You've had it hard too. I'm sorry for pushing you past the line. If you're tired, take some rest and come back to work."

"Really?!" Suho sounded upbeat. 

Smiling, Donghae nodded. "You're probably exhausted, so take some time off. I mean it."

Suho's face stilled and Donghae wondered if Suho was as shocked as he made himself out to be. Were his words really that much of a surprise? Perhaps...he had been really hard on them.  

A breathtaking smile of appreciation took over his lips, "I want a month's vacation to the Bahamas after this is over. I'm ok, we're all tired, but that's not stopping me from doing my job. Not until we get those bastards behind bars, I won't rest just yet. So don't worry, we're a team after all. As equally as we share the burden, we also share determination."

With a breathless laugh Donghae smiled, baffled by Suho, "All right. I'll do just that after this is over." 

~_____~

Namjoo was tired. Her body was in agony and she felt broken all over. A strong throbbing erupted endlessly from her stomach, but she couldn't pay it heed. Instead of the little being she'd imagined there, all she felt was strong sorrow depleting her of energy.  

The day shouldn't have come. She was in no mood to look at the light radiating inside from the window. It looked too happy when she was all too gloomy. 

The sense of loss would strike her mind every time she thought back to how she'd stood in the middle of the field only to get hit moments later. Where had it come from? Which direction? Who was the jerk that had shot her? 

She wanted to be angry, but she felt more deprived of all other emotions when she thought about that defenseless thing inside her. And she regretted not coming back for a checkup like she was told to; she regretted not taking enough of those vitamins to keep her body strong. And she was most regrettable about not appreciating the little gift enough, the only one that had been with her in her lonely place.

"I want to sit up." Even was sore.  

"You were told to lay down," Suho reminded, but he must have felt sympathy for her after she stared at him, because he propped the pillow up against the wall pulling her up seconds later.  

"Are you comfortable? Does it hurt?" He worried.  

She nodded her head.   

"I want some water."  

"Oh...ok, wait a minute. I'll go get some for you."  

She wanted to envelope herself in the silence and be alone.

~_____~

Kris was just about to reach for the knob, but the door opened and Suho stared at him.
 
"You're here?" Suho greeted and glanced behind him slightly before turning back to Kris. "Namjoo's up."  

"Is she?" He was glad, relieved, and thankful. "How is she feeling?"  

Suho shrugged, "You want to go see her, right?"  

Kris' eyes faltered. He wasn't sure if he could bring himself inside, but it was obvious his body was determined to walk in, have a glimpse of her.  

"Don't mention anything about the baby, ok? And don't talk too long. She's still worn out from the surgery." Suho told. "I'll be right back."

With a nod of acknowledgement, Suho quickly passed him by leaving the door open for him. He hesitated, wondering what he should first say. He hadn't thought it out, hadn't perfected his words.  

Kris barely turned around before stopping in his steps, knowing well if he didn't go in now he probably wouldn't have the guts to later. So gulping, he took the first step in and closed the door after him. When Namjoo turned to look at him, his heart broke.  

***Hae's finally thinking rationally! He certainly owes them an apology, but Vic most certainly deserves to hear it.

***If you think about it, Suho's the medium in this story. He's in a position where he sees what everyone's going through. Lay could be the medium too, but he's more of the smart guy. Watch out for some SuLay action!

***But yay! A step forward for all couples!