- Taemin Pov -

Chunji brought me to my room, it was quiet during the walk. Entering my room, Chunji decided to speak.

‘Are you calmed yet?’ Chunji asked me, sitting on the chair of my study desk.

I sat on my bed hugging my pillow for comfort and nod slowly to Chunji’s question. I had calmed down…but I still felt the anxiousness, depressing, upset and hurt feeling all bunching up in my chest.

‘Do you want to tell me what happened?’ Chunji asked

I remained quite thinking to myself whether I should or not. Normally the person I would of told my problems to is Byul…but now she was no longer an option I could have.

‘Byul…Byul wanted to end everything.’ I said lowly ‘She wants us to be…s-strangers.’

‘She finally did it…’ I heard Chunji whispered to himself

I looked at him with a stern look. ‘What do you mean by that?’ I questioned

Chunji returned the same sternness look at me ‘we advised Byul to give up on you’ he stated ‘we didn’t expected it to be this soon though. It must of being something you did to her again isn’t it?’

Each word that came out of his mouth…I grew angry, mad…rage. I launched forward from my position from the bed and held a tight grip onto Chunji’s shirt collar.

‘So this is all everyone’s fault! ISN’T IT?!’ I snapped angrily, glaring at him. ‘Because of you guys Byul left me! ENDING it with me!’

Chunji eyes narrowed ‘don’t blame us, Taemin. The only one at fault is you.’ He stated sternly. ‘It’s always been you, and all we did is support and comfort Byul.’

I didn’t understand him at all…what did I ever do?

Chunji’s face showed disgust as he pushed me away from him ‘You still don’t understand do you? You still think your not one at fault! You think you’re the one whose been good and right, when your just too native to know your mistakes!’ he snapped angrily.

I growled at him ‘If I’m too native, then why don’t you tell me what I’ve done wrong!’ I said raising my voice

‘FINE.’ Chunji retorted angrily. ‘You want to know what you did?!’

‘You want everything to revolve around you and if it doesn’t, you tie strings to it so it can’t leave. That’s exactly what you’re doing to Byul.’

‘Always and only using her, because you knew that she loves you. When your feeling sad, useless, you go to her to cheer you up. When your alone and Boa isn’t around you go to her for company. You only ever notice or value her when you need her but you never do the same!’

‘You never once had ever been there for her, much less even listening to her side of things or take her side. Have you ever defended her for anything? Have You?!’

‘You abandon her countless times and more counts on forgetting her.’

‘You’re always and only thinking for yourself!’

‘Even when you already have that B**** of a girlfriend of yours, you won’t let Byul leave will you? Getting jealous when other guys are around her, get upset because she’s enjoying her time with someone else and get angry…you only keep her so that if anything ever went wrong you could use her to make yourself feel better!’

‘And you think that’s not wrong?!’

Chunji panted tire that he had said all of those things loudly with anger.

I on the other hand…I was absorbing everything Chunji had snapped at me and…already fresh tears came.

I’ve lost Byul…because I was selfish.

I’ve lost Byul…because I took her for granted.

‘You never know what you have until it’s gone, right?’ Chunji phased and a disappointed look came ‘Wrong. You knew what you had, you just never thought you would lose it.’

Never…never did I ever knew I could cry this much…never, never had I ever felt so hurt, regret and lost like I have now.

‘And you know what?...’ he questioned

I looked at him through my tears, pleading him through my eyes for him to stop…stop saying and adding more hurtful and regretful things…I didn’t want to hear anymore…

Because I was losing myself…

I was nearing to breaking myself.

‘I’m…everyone are glad that Byul had finally end all of this.’ Chunji stated coolly

Was this person before me my cousin? Is this really Chunji? The one who always cared, loved and worried for me? Never had Chunji been this cold.

‘w-What should I do?’ I questioned pleading through my sobs ‘Please help me.’

‘Just forget about it. Live your life with what you have now.’ He stated

Those words that came…it tore my heart, burning it to ashes

Live without Byul?

Impossible.

I shook my head furiously ‘NO! I CAN’T DO THAT!’ I cried ‘I…I need her.’

‘You gain some, you lose some. She’s your lost.’ Chunji said uncaringly, walking towards the door ‘you can’t always get what you want, Taemin.’

He left.

Speechless and feeling the unbearable pain…I could only cry silently.

 -Your Pov-

I stared blankly down at my bed sheets with tears trailing down my face. It felt like those words that I had told Taemin weren’t my own, but in some way I was glad and grateful of what had possess me to say them.

I finally ended it with him. I felt relieved and happy…

So why was there a small gap inside of me that felt missing? It was obvious that, that place was where Taemin had filled in, but I’ll have to refill it with something else…or someone else.

At a point it scared me, was I really going to be able to find someone?  

My thoughts were caught off, by my phone vibrating.

You got Message~

Before i could reach and read the first message, it vibrated again and again.

‘I worried them again.’ I thought feeling like a burden.

Taemin is back, and Chunji is with him. His fine if you’re worrying. But I really hoping that your not! And you better not be moping or sulking like a girl version of Dino head here! _ Key

LIL Princess do you need your godly awesome prince L.Joe to be there for you?! – L.Joe

Your not locking yourself in your room without eating or drinking, are you?! That’s a no-no >:[ - Uee

Do you want some company? :) <3 Unni will stay with you all night~ - Nana

Do you want to eat Chicken with Oppa? :D – Onew

Being too sad alone is not healthy! :( We’re here when you need us. :D – Minho

Wanna go, get ice cream with Unni? :D <3 – Jungah

Oppa will take you out on a blind date~ <3 ;D – Jonghyun

Byul, don’t listen to that idiot. Let’s go out together when your feeling better! :D how about to the beach? I know a very pretty and relaxing one. AND it’s not this one that’s in the academy! – Kahi

As always they always bring a sincere smile and laugh to me. Always them. It scares me because it felt empty and lonely, even though when I knew I had my Unnis and Oppas…I guess, I really wanted a special someone like how they’ve got theirs.

I really wish…I could have someone who would love me like, them having each other.

- L.Joe Pov-

Chunji returned back into the living room.

‘We just texted to Byul. She said she’ll be fine after with more time to herself.’ i said ‘so, how is he?’

‘Well his not fine right now, his still crying’ Chunji answered ‘But his going to get better sooner or later.’

‘Wow…is this really the Chunji we all know that mothers Taemin?’ Jonghyun joked

Chunji rolled his eyes ‘spoiling him isn’t good.’ He stated

The room went quiet, I knew that everyone was worried, worried for both Byul and Taemin. But not only that, I felt that we were bothered… bothered by the fact of how things will turn out now.

‘This is for the best right?’ Uee questioned ‘It’ll help them both, right?’

Key wrapped his arms around her ‘We’ll have to see. But things won’t be for the worst, I know it.’ He reassured her. ‘Because we’re all here for the both of them.’

Yes, we’ll all be there for the both of them.

 - The Next Day-

-Taemin Pov-

I walked down the stairs with blood shot eyes…I had cried myself to sleep last night. As pathetic as it sounded…I really did. My body felt heavy, my head blank and my chest ached. I reached the bottom of the flight of stairs, when the front door opened.

‘B-Byul…’ I whispered surprised yet relief at the same time.

Nothing registered in my mind, all I knew was to get to her…get to her and not let her go. I ran to her and wrapped my arms tightly around her.

‘Byul.’ I called her name more audible this time.

‘Taemin…issi…’ I heard her said.

My heart shattered…’Taemin-issi?’ I repeated mentally of how she addressed me.

I shook my head disapprovingly while still tightly hugging her.

‘Please don’t do this.’ I pleaded ‘let’s be how we use to be.’

‘ I’ve already decided. I’ve already made my mind.’ She said solemnly

‘I don’t want this.’ I whimpered

‘But I do.’ She simply said.

I fell on to my knees with my arms around her waist and my head buried in her stomach. New fresh tears spilled from my eyes.

‘Please. Please be with me. Stay with me. Don’t end it.’ I begged in tears.

‘I don’t want to anymore.’ I heard her said ‘there’s no need for me to do so.’

‘I need you!’ I cried ‘I need you. Please.’

She went silent. Silent meant rejection.

My arms tightened around her.

‘Let…me…stay with you. Please’ I whispered pleadingly. ‘ I want to be with you.’

Please. Let me stay by your side.

Let me be a part of your life.

Because I need you to be in mine.

‘No.’ she rejected

One simple word, one simple word that crush me down to nothing. My arms fell limply beside me, letting her go. Byul didn’t say anything or did she even looked down at me, when my arms let her go…she just left. She just walked away. Without even looking back once at me.

It’s really over.

-Your Pov-

My inside trembled, trembled from emotions that were strongly making me turn back and to accept Taemin again. His eyes, that was blood shot and swollen…his voice stained, the way he pleaded and begged sincerely…

‘Don’t make this harder for me please’ I kept thinking, which I have been pleading, and begging in my mind and very moment I saw him.

Not wanting to break down or backing out…I solemnly rejected him, through his every pleading. And it made me felt guilty. Guilt due to his state and how sincere he was but I coldly rejected him.

I’m a bad person.

‘Byul. Hey are you okay?’ Chunji asked me, breaking my thoughts

I hesitated to answer him. ‘Taemin…needs you.’ I whispered barely audible ‘ now.’

Chunji gave me a confused look before he gave me a quick hug of comfort and left the dinning room.

‘Byul…he’ll get better soon.’ Nana reassured me with a warm smile ‘come and have breakfast.’

I looked at all the others around the table who also gave me a reassuring and comforting smile, which I returned a weak smile and joined them.

-Chunji Pov-

As soon as I stepped out of the dinning room, I spotted Taemin sitting near the front door…lifelessly.

‘Taemin.’ I called his name in motherly care.

But he didn’t reply. So I took steps towards him.

‘Taemin?’ I called his name again

I stopped behind him. He still didn’t reply. Worry grew more and more in me, there was something really wrong here. I stepped in front of Taemin and kneed down in front of him. Finally able to get to see his expression…I was shocked.

Tear were still trailing down his red cheeks, his eyes were swollen and yet…his eyes looked lifeless…broken…abandoned, such word to described how he looked and the state he was in…wasn’t even invented yet.

‘Taemin-ah… C’mon’ I said worryingly as I tried to get Taemin up from the ground

 But he didn’t barge.

‘ She…she doesn’t need me…’ I barely heard him whimpered ‘She doesn’t want me…anymore.’

It seemed like he was in a trance and had lost his mind, because he kept on whimpering barely hearable things along the lines of ‘she didn’t need me’, ‘She doesn’t want me’ and ‘it’s over’ repeatedly.

‘YAH! Lee Taemin, pull yourself together!’ I snapped shaking him by the shoulders roughly to get his senses back.

Taemin slowly lift his head to look at me and let out his sounds of sobs.

‘Chunji…what do I do?’ he questioned, his voice sounding desperate ‘I’ll do anything, you want me to…just please help me.’

‘Taemin you have to calm down.’ I said gently ‘C’mon, get up from the ground, first.’

But my words didn’t reach him. He was losing it.

‘I need her Chunji…’ he stated pleadingly ‘ I want to be with her.’

‘You have to give her time. Things aren’t just going to get better the very next day.’ I advised ‘and if you really do care for her…if you really do need her…then you’ll give her time.’

‘Okay…’ Taemin uttered nodding.

This surprised me how easily he agreed.

‘Byul wouldn’t want you to be crying so much as well. So you should stop, and clean yourself up.’ I said

once again he nod obediently, wiping his tear stained face and calmed his ragged breathing. He got up from the ground weakly and went back to his room

‘his really going to do anything for her’ I thought

As long as I used Byul name…he’ll really do anything I say.

I went back joining everyone in the dinning room.

Byul was first to have turn and gave me a worrying look.

I smiled ‘don’t worry his fine. His calmed down now and is in his room cleaning himself up.’ I said

Byul let out a relieved sigh as well as many others.

But there was a feeling of discomfort inside of me. Why did It feel like something else troubling will happen?

Inside…I was already praying that it wouldn’t be Taemin.

- 3 Days Later -

That feeling I had was spot on. Since that day Taemin had broken down, he had locked himself in his room. He did attend regular classes but never seemed to be focusing, during lunch or recess and even after all the classes were over he would return into his room and lock himself in there. And it worried everyone in the dorm, because he wasn’t eating, every time when I or any other one in the dorm went to tell him to join us for breakfast, lunch, dinner…he would reject saying he wasn’t hungry.

None of us in the dorm had Byul of Taemin behavior since we all know she would be worried and blame herself for it.

Speaking of Byul, Byul had been doing a good job of treating Taemin as a another student or as a stranger, when seeing him she would address him as ‘Taemin-issi’ only greeting and bidding him farewell and says nothing more. Which I am proud of her, yet I am also feeling worried for Taemin, because every time Byul addresses him like that, hurt were evidenced in his eyes, but he would always force out a smile.

And never…never had he ever forgotten to always ask me or anyone of the others to help him or give him ideas of how he could possibly get Byul to treat him as how she use to. But always we told him to give her time…when we knew she was moving on.

Did I feel guilt?

Yes. Yes I did.

Because Taemin was hurting more each day.

Today, like any other day, I went to Taemin’s room to tell him to have breakfast with everyone.

I opened his room door ‘ Taemin Breakfast is done, come down and eat with us.’ I said

Taemin, who was sitting on his bed hugging his pillow shook his head ‘I’m not hungry.’ He responded

I frowned ‘ you haven’t been eating. That’s not good for you.’ I stated

‘I’ll eat when I’m hungry.’ He said

not able to take this any more I snapped at him ‘and when is that exactly?! Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?! Your f***en just bones and as pale as paper!’ I scolded angrily ‘What exactly are you trying to do with yourself?!’

Taemin didn’t say anything, but his expression responded to me…and I could very well read his expression and mind.

My frown deepened ‘you really want to get Byul back this way? You want her to pity you so she’ll come back to you?’ I stated angrily ‘that’s pathetic! Your really pathetic Taemin!’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ Taemin said softly ‘as long as she cares and stays with me. Then I’ll be pathetic. ‘

‘You do understand, it isn’t going to be because she really cares for you right? It’ll be only out of pity and guilt.’ I stated

Taemin seemed hesitated first but only to nod ‘as long as she stay by me.’ He said

‘And what about Boa?’ I questioned ‘isn’t she your girlfriend?’

As much as I hate that B****, I did care for Byul more. And for Byul, I would want her to find her own happiness without having Taemin binding her down.

Taemin looked like he had forgotten about Boa and the fact that she was his girlfriend.

‘Don’t you think your being selfish? You already have Boa, yet your leaving her right now just to get Byul back?’ I stated rather then questioning

Taemin looked down at his bed sheets, my words had made him rethink of his action.

‘So boa is still important to him.’ I thought

somewhat…I was disappointed in him. I would of expected for him to only be thinking and caring or Byul but in the end it was still Boa. Now I am certain, I will help Byul find her own happiness.

‘Why don’t you spend some time with her. She’ll keep your mind off of Byul.’ I advised ‘she should be the only one you’ll be needing anyways.’

With lots of thinking…Taemin nodded slowly.

‘yeah…I’ll ask her to hang out with me tomorrow.’ He said

I smiled ‘good. Now c’mon you have to eat.’ I said

Taemin gave me a small smile and nod ‘yeah, I’ll come down.’ He said

I nod and left.

-Taemin Pov-

At the mention of Boa’s name…it had reminded me that I had a girlfriend and that was her.

‘maybe I can ask her for help. She is a girl after all. She’ll be able to help me get Byul back.’ I thought

‘Why don’t you spend some time with her. She’ll keep your mind off of Byul.’ Chunji advised ‘she should be the only one you’ll be needing anyways.’

Yeah, I’ll spend time with Boa and ask her to help me.

 ‘yeah…I’ll ask her to hang out with me tomorrow.’ I said

He smiled ‘good. Now c’mon you have to eat.’ he said

I gave him a small smile and nod ‘yeah, I’ll come down.’ I said

Chunji left.

There was still hope.

I’ll do anything to get Byul back.