-Days Later-

-Taemin Pov-

I won’t lie, I miss Byul…I missed talking and simply just being around her. So today I’ve decided to talk to her, I mean it’s been days already surely she must have had enough times to rethink of her actions and had thought what she had done was wrong. But first I should discuss about this to Boa, i wouldn’t want her to feel uncomfortable or scared of Byul when she’s around with us.

It was a good thing that today’s lessons were short and ended early, so right after science ended I went to find Boa. Usually today we would hand with our own group of friends, since we’re always together on other days…it’s not good to forget about your friends while your dating right?

Wondering around the corridors, I looked through each classroom, I’ve tried to call her but she didn’t pick up guess she must of put it on silent or she had forgotten it in her dorm…she’s such a forgetful cutie.

‘Where could Boa-ah be?’  I thought

I’ve practically checked all of the classrooms, then going to the cafeteria, her locker and to her dorm. Yet I still couldn’t find her.

‘Wait! I still haven’t checked the garden yet!’ I thought and quickly went to the garden.

-Garden-

Arriving at the garden I looked around hoping to see Boa-ah around somewhere, which I had found her rather quickly because she was out in the open field of flowers. I grinned happily and excitedly, by the fact that I had found her and how pretty she looked amongst the flowers.

‘Like a real Princess’ I thought admiring how beautiful she looked.

I shook my head to snap out of my dazing state and walked towards her…only to have myself froze in place when I saw another figure to have already been next to her…a male. I watched silently from a far, observing them…why was the guy being so close to her? Why was his arms around her like that? Like as if they were a couple. Many thought ran through my head but that didn’t bother me as much as how my chest was tightening so painfully.

‘I’ve seem him before’ I thought

I thought hard of who the guy was…and sure enough…it was the very same one who he had saw once with Boa before they were together…the same guy who was kissing her before they were together.

‘What are they doing together?’ I thought worryingly ‘who the hell was that guy to be so close and hugging Boa? Doesn’t he know that she has a boyfriend? And that is Me!’

Not sure of what to do or how to react…I ran back to the dorm, towards my room…I ignored the questioning looks as well as some of my friends greeting towards me. I closed my room door and locked it…I really need my time alone to think. Many thoughts and questions were racing through my head along with the pain and upset feeling that I felt. There were many scenarios which were decent such as they could be just friends…but something deep inside me told me that wasn’t the case…then the worse of all thought came to me…

Could Boa be cheating on me?

This one made my brain unable to function properly.

Could it be that I had done something wrong?

Was I not good enough?

The more I thought the more and more I felt lowly of myself…the more I feel my sadness growing and pain eating me.

‘What should I do?’ I whispered to myself, looking down at my bed

Byul!

My head snapped up as I smiled unthinkingly and quickly reaching my phone that was on my bedside table.

-Your Pov-

I was glad that to today’s lessons ended short, gives more time to rest and relax. I was inside my bedroom, lying on the bed reading a novel, which Chunji had recommended for me to read. Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time with Chunji and also L.Joe…or maybe it’s the fact that Chunji always seem to be come running to me to hide from L.Joe, but only resulting that L.joe knew where he would be and would also come running to me. But luckily today was not one of those days, I would say today was one of those ‘break’ days where L.Joe would give Chunji a rest…or what I could call a recovery day before the next day he would be attacking Chunji again.

Nothing much had changed between Taemin and me, we still haven’t talk to each other yet. But I could feel that something had change… I didn’t feel the hate that he would usually have when being around me. Which I couldn’t be more happier…this would mean we’re on good terms and no more grudges.

That way I can forget about him without holding back.

Yes, I’ve decided. After all it will be the best for both of us.

-Flash Back- - Few Days before-

-During Lunch Break-

Everyone excluding Taemin were seated in the dinning room, the girls were all in the kitchen preparing lunch while I was stuck in the dinning room with the guys…reason being was that the guys wanted to have a talk with me…well more like they all did, but everyone was hungry so they decided to have Girls make the food since it’s obvious that Jonghyun would ruin everything and Onew would probably eat everything before anyone could…so it was decided that the guys would have the head start talking to me while the girls will prepare lunch.

‘Okay we’re just going to get straight to the point. Do you still like Taemin?’ Chunji questioned

‘You mean LOVE.’ Key corrected

Chunji rolled his eyes ‘yes…Do you still LOVE Taemin?’ he re-asked the question.

I blinked a couple of times at the guys quite surprised that they were really straight forwards…well I guess it’s kind of expected since it’s Key and Chunji we’re talking about.

I nod ‘Neh.’ I answered

‘Seriously? Even after he was being an ?!’ L.Joe exclaimed which earned a hit on the head form Chunji

‘Yah! Even if Taemin is an that’s my cousin your insulting’ Chunji scolded

L.joe pouted while muttering some curses.

‘Well…that was expected…’ Jonghyun commented which everyone gave a nod to while I just stared at them blankly.

‘so...what is this about?’ I asked

‘Byul…we know we don’t have the right to say this…’ Minho started ‘But we want you to give up on Taemin.’

My eyes widen…obviously I was surprised by what Minho had said, I didn’t know what to say and even if I did…no words could come out of my mouth.

‘It’s nothing wrong with you or anything! Your not at fault’ Jonghyun quickly said panicking, worried to have hurt my feelings…which honestly wasn’t what I was feeling…I was just confused.

The guys rolled their eyes at Jonghyun’s overreacting…they knew that I wasn’t feeling hurt.

‘We’re sick and had enough of Taemin hurting you.’ Key stated ‘ We think you deserve better…No scratch that…you HAVE to have someone that’s willing to give up their world for you.’

‘Isn’t that…a little too much?’ I questioned jokingly,

But to my dismay none of them laughed…

‘It’s obvious that Taemin isn’t going to get any smarter or will grow another head that will have a brain that functions right.’ Onew said ‘So in our opinion…we think you should forget about him’

Guess this was more serious then I thought…it’s not normal to have Onew say something like that.

I looked down at my hands which were on the table. ‘It’s not like I haven’t thought about it or tried…’ I said ‘I’m just not capable of doing it.’

This time the guys all gave me a confused and questioning look.

‘What do you mean?’ Chunji asked

‘I can’t get rid of these feelings. I wish I could but I just…I don’t know. I can’t explain it’ I said

The guys gave each other looks as if this was harder and a bigger deal then they expected it to be.

‘Well...it ain’t easy to get rid of them, especially anytime soon’ L.joe stated ‘and really we’re not expecting you to just suddenly make it disappear.’

‘We want you to start finding someone…or think of ways that could slowly make those feelings go away….’

‘Because really…we don’t like how you have to be the one hurting.’ L.Joe said.

Everyone nod agreeing with L.Joe.

‘we love you like as little sister, like our own family, like our own blood.’ Chunji said ‘trust me I know Taemin is also my blood family but in this situation his on my black list.’

I gave a small smile to Chunji’s small joke. ‘What should I do?’ I said barely being heard

‘Cut all ties with him.’ Onew stated…once again surprising me. ‘I know you both are on ‘not talking to each other’ term but we have been noticing that Taemin’s hatred for you is slowly disappearing’

‘Which is a good thing…but you know this would mean right?’ Key questioned

Without a doubt or thought about it…I already knew the answer. Taemin would be close to me again.

Which meant…more using and more hurting will come again. It was like a circle…it’ll never end. We’ll get angry, we’ll fight, we’ll get hurt and then it’ll only restart again.

Everyone must of thought of this and was really worried for me…because honestly…Taemin was never the one hurting…it was only me who takes it all.

 ‘Byul we once told you to be selfish…’ Minho said ‘ this time…this is the time that you will really have to be selfish…for yourself for your own happiness.’

Everyone nod once again.

‘So don’t let him back in.’ Jonghyun added

‘If you think it’s too harsh then maybe keep him as a brother but nothing more…though it’s probably best to keep and think of him as just a another fellow royal…just another classmate. Just another person who attends this academy.’ L.Joe advised

I thought as I let everything they had said sink in…

They were right.

Maybe I should end it and keep it as it is now.

It was reality that me and Taemin aren’t going to get anywhere or will it ever be a steady path of friendship.

Taemin has his happiness now.

So I should find another source to my happiness…instead of having the lying hope of thinking that Taemin could or would ever change his heart into loving me instead.

I smiled and nod ‘Neh. Your right.’ I said agreeing

It will be the best for both of us.

‘Thank you for always looking out for me’ I said sincerely and happily.

Even though things to now had been bad and no good had came out it beside hurt and pain…

I will never change a single thing or decision…because…

Even if I wasn’t able to be happy with Taemin…

Having Unnis and Oppas that I have now…were worth it.

-End Flash Back-

Ring Ding Dong Ring Diggy Ding Dong

I snap out of my thoughts, when the sound of my phone rang. Without checking who it was…because surely I knew it would be neither be Chunji  or L.joe.

‘Hello?’ I answered

‘Byul!’

My eyes widened as a small gasp escaped my mouth…hearing the voice coming out from the phone. With still a shocked expression, I held the phone away from me and checked the caller…

Yes...it was no doubt…and no lie.

It was Lee Taemin.

‘! WHAT DO I DO!?’ I mentally screamed

the percentage that I would of ever thought Taemin to call me was 0.2% or less…so this really did left me speechless.

‘Byul?’ – Taemin

I heard Taemin’s voice once again calling me but this time in a questioning tone. I held the phone once again to my ear.

‘Taemin…’ I said to let him know I was still there. ‘Why did you call?’

I didn’t know what else to say and beside…I was wondering why he would call so suddenly and out of nowhere.

‘Byul…i need your help…I feel hurt’ – Taemin

I was confused at why he would call to tell me this but I was feeling more worried then I was confused

‘what’s wrong?’ I asked worryingly…which I mentally slap myself.

I was not suppose to be worried or much less talking to him…and here I am worried about him.

‘I saw Boa-ah with another guy in the garden…he was hugging her. They seemed really close.’ – Taemin

At the mention of Boa’s name…my heart came to a complete stop…

It really will always repeat won’t it?

I bitterly smiled…even during when we’re on bad terms, when anything or something ever happens concerning Boa…he ask me for help. Why that? What is this?

 ‘Your F***ed up’ i mentally thought to myself ‘this is actually what Oppas and Unnis trying to say. You’re an idiot who will always welcome him with open arms…to always help him when he wants it, when he needs it.’

I mentally told myself to just hang up or say that I can’t help him…but…but hearing how sad he sounded…I couldn’t bring myself to leave him like that. Maybe…maybe this can be the last time I’ll ever help him…after all to just completely end it would be harsh. This can be a parting gift. This will be the last that I’ll ever be there for him.

‘A-And I think…maybe B-Boa is c-cheating on me’- Taemin

Through his stuttering voice I could hear how upset he was. Which made me wonder…

Would he be this upset if I end it with him?

I bitterly smiled ‘of course he won’t be. Because I meant nothing in the first place…I was only useful to him.’ I thought

‘W-What should I do?’- Taemin

‘Taemin, I’m more then sure enough that is not the case.’ I said calmly and normally. ‘That guy is properly just a friend.’

‘B-But they were hugging…and plus his the same guy that we saw that kissed her in the garden’ – Taemin

‘ Taemin, your not thinking lowly of yourself, are you?’ I questioned ‘Your not doubting and thinking that you’re the one at fault right?’

I knew well from his tone, that Taemin was doubting his ability and capabilities of being a boyfriend.Taemin didn’t answer or reply only being silent…which I knew meant yes.

‘Well don’t think that, because your fine and great the way your loving and caring for her.’ I said ‘ and I really don’t think she’s cheating on you.’

Now that was a lie. I knew very well that Boa was in fact and all in honestly she was cheating on Taemin. But how Taemin was loving her…she could change right?

 ‘His probably her ex-boyfriend who now became her friend or a brother. You know very well that is possible and happens most of the time when a relationship ends’ I stated sounding confident to convince Taemin ‘Your probably just feeling too protective or maybe your just jealous of them so you feel and think this way.’

There was a short silent before I heard Taemin chuckling voice from the phone.

‘Hahaha your right, what was I thinking? Boa-ah would never do that to me. Thanks Byul!’- Taemin

I smiled sadly…Taemin is really too naïve.

‘It’s nothing. Good to know your feeling better now.’ I said ‘ I’ll gotta go---‘

‘WAIT!’ – Taemin

I stop my movements of hanging up as I heard Taemin’s voice shouted.

‘Is there something else?’ I questioned

‘Let’s hang out!’ – Taemin

It’s really repeating itself.

I couldn’t smile like I could use to, when Taemin would ask me out or event talk to me.

Right now…I was staring down at my bed sheets with a blank, motionless face.

‘No’ I said

‘Aww why?~’ – Taemin

Taemin’s usual whining voice that usually make me smile…couldn’t do that this time.

‘Humph fine then, how about tomorrow?’ – Taemin

Taemin’s Childish behavior which I was always drawn to…I have to get away from it before I’m trapped again.

‘No.’ I said again

I heard more series of whining from Taemin as he started to try to convince and beg me.

 ‘Taemin…you don’t need to hang with me anymore.’ I said

Taemin’s whining came to a sudden stop.

‘What do you mean Byul-a-na Milk?’ – Taemin

I could hear confusion in his voice.

The nick name which only he calls me by…which I loved and got use to… I have to end this.

Taking in a silent breath, I brought my confidence…

 ‘Let’s End it.’ I said

To finally end this, never ending hurt circle.

-Taemin Pov-

I felt relieved yet also happy when Byul had answered the phone, I felt more happy to have heard her worrying voice which cared and worried for me. As always she knew what to say to me to make my feel happy again…this was now my chance to get us back on track again. So I asked her to hang out which resulted in a reject…I smiled at this, things will get back to normal again. Like the way we use to be, enjoying and having fun together.

I asked her the second time, which she rejected again, so I did what I usually did. I whined and begged her to agree.

‘Taemin…you don’t need to hang with me anymore.’ - Byul

Hearing this I went quiet instantly, as I was confused by what she had said.

‘What do you mean Byul-a-na Milk?’ I questioned

‘Let’s End it.’ – Byul

My heart stopped…why did three simple words affect me so much.?

‘W-What are you saying Byul-a-na Milk?’ I stuttered worryingly

But I knew better…I knew what she had meant in those three hurtful words but I won’t believe it. My chest was burning, burning in pain and most of all fear.

‘Nothing good is ever coming out with us being friends or much less together. We’re only going to get hurt, so let’s not be close anymore’ – Byul

My hand which held the phone tightened, as I felt the pain in my chest increased and felt more painful then before.

 ‘W-why are you saying this?!’ I stuttered, feeling upset and much more.

‘Taemin nothing was right in the first place. But I won’t lie, We had good times and many memories.’ – Byul

So let’s make more together…

‘But...as happy as it lasted for…it seems like hurt always brings it down…it also soon overtakes it all.’ – Byul

Hurt? Have I been hurting her?

‘I-I’m Sorry!’ I said, my tone full of panic…

I didn’t want to lose her.

‘F-for every time I’ve hurt you! I-I’ll make it up to you!’ I continue to stutter, I wasn’t able to stop because I was panicking and scared ‘And if your feeling bad because of that incident between you and Boa, I’ve forgiven you already! Boa also had forgotten about it! S-So…so…’

I didn’t know what to say There was silence on the other end of the line, which made me felt anxious.

‘You still don’t get it do you…’ – Byul

I finally heard Her responding but it was in a soft and low tone.

What was I not understanding?

‘I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.’ – Byul

Just like that the world seemed to have stopped.

Was I hearing this right? Did Byul…

I felt something trailed down the side of my face, something wet and warm…

My tears fell unknowingly to me.

‘I don’t want to be hurt anymore.’ – Byul

‘S-Stop.’ I stuttered not want her to continued ‘ I-i won’t hurt you anymore.,,’

But she didn’t.

‘I don’t want to be used anymore.’ – Byul

‘B-Byul Please…’ I pleaded as more tears fell

‘I don’t want to love you anymore.’ – Byul

Just like that…I was crying and I didn’t hid it.

‘NO!’ I cried out loudly

Why did it have to be like this?

‘So…from now on….’ - Byul

‘Byul! I’ll do anything! So…so please don’t’ I cried pleadingly

‘Let’s just be strangers’ – Byul

My eyes widened…Strangers…

That was not possible. How could I just look at Byul and say that she’s a stranger?

‘I’m Sorry’ – Byul

The line went dead…she had hung up, my body dashed out of the door. I didn’t stop or even gave a glance to the others who were just wondering around…I ran straight to Byul’s place. Upon arriving I beat on the door rapidly.

‘BYUL!’

‘BYUL OPEN THE DOOR!’

‘LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS!’

I continued to knock on the door while shouting out pleads and begging for her to open the door.

I wanted to see her…no. I desperately needed  to see her.

-Your Pov-

Silent tears fell down my face, to end everything like this it did hurt. But it was for the best. It wasn’t even a bare 10 second after I hang up that I heard loud knocking and shouting outside my tree house.

Taemin’s voice was stained and hoarse…he was crying…his hurt.

But I won’t go weak anymore…I won’t be the one to give in to him anymore.

My hands trembled lightly…but I had managed to call the first contact that was on the list…Chunji.

‘Hey Byul! What’s up?!’ – Chunji

Chunji’s happy voice greeted me.

‘O-Oppa…’’I stuttered ‘Taemin is here. Can you please take him back to the dorm?’

My voice was shaky which told Chunji that I wasn’t feeling well.

‘Okay. And when you feel better, please talk to me or anyone…so we can help you.’ Chunji

Chunji’s voice was full of worry and care.

I smiled sadly ‘Neh.’ I replied and hang up.

-Chunji Pov-

Receiving that call from Byul, to hear her sound like that…is worried me for both her and Taemin. Seeing my expression everyone else who was in the living room gave me a questioning look.

‘Chunji what’s wrong?’ L.Joe asked showing concern

‘I don’t know, but Byul called…’I started ‘ she asked if i could bring Taemin back. She said she’ll explain everything to us…’

Everyone had a worrying look.

‘Well I doubt one person alone could bring Taemin back…so I’ll help you’ Key said getting up from his seat.

‘I’ll come to’ Jonghyun said standing up as well but was stopped by Kahi

‘I think it’s best if not too many people go…two should be enough’ Kahi reasoned

Minho nodded ‘Kahi’s right’ he agreed, so Jonghyun sat back down

With things settled me and Key ran quickly to Byul’s tree house.

-Tree House-

Getting to the back of the dorm, we could already hear Taemin’s loud shouting, knocking and crying. Both me and Key looked at each other before approaching Taemin.

‘Taemin…’ I called

Taemin stopped banging at the door and turned slowly, looking at the both of us with red puffy eyes as well as his tears still gushing out. Never before had I ever been with Taemin had he ever looked like this…never had he cried this much…and judging from Key’s expression I knew that he never had saw this from Taemin as well.

‘Hyung…’ Taemin managed to whimper out, before holding on to my shoulders and shaking me ‘Tell Byul to come out! Ask her to talk to me!’

‘Taemin-ah…’Key said in a gentle voice, to try and calm him down ‘Let’s get back to the dorm first.’

Taemin shook his head furiously ‘NO! I have to see Byul!’ he cried loudly

‘Taemin, whatever it is that happened between you and Byul…just give her time for herself right now.’ I reasoned ‘she’s not going anywhere, you can talk to her another time when your both calmed down.’

Taemin went silent for a moment which meant he was thinking of what I had just said, before letting go of my shoulders and weakly nodded. Taking the chance to bring Taemin back to the dorm, Key gently patted Taemin on the back and we both walked with him in the middle back to the dorm.

-L.Joe Pov-

When Key and Chunji had left, everyone in the living room remained silent. We’ve all expected Key and Chunji to take awhile to bring Taemin back, but to our surprised they returned within 10 minutes…but…but what was more shocking was the fact that Taemin was crying his eyes out.

‘I’ll take him to his room’ Chunji said

Key nod and went in to the living room joining us, while Chunji brought Taemin up to his room.

‘Taemin didn’t look good.’ Jonghyun commented ‘is he going to be okay?’

Key let out a sigh ‘I don’t know…but I hope so.’ He answered

‘What about Byul? Is she alright?’ Nana asked worryingly

Key shook his head ‘I’m not sure about that as well…when we got there, we only saw Taemin banging on the door, crying his eyes out and shouting for Byul to open the door.’ He said ‘But I am positive that Byul will be fine.’

There was another silence in the room, since no one knew what to say or do. Trying to make a joke or bringing back the happy atmosphere didn’t seem possible right now.

 ‘Do you think…Byul might of end it with Taemin?’ Uee stated breaking the silence

‘I think that is most likely the reason.’ Kahi said nodding ‘ there wouldn’t be any other reason to explain this.’

Taemin seemed to be taking this more harder then any of us was expecting…which made me wonder…

What exactly do you think are those feelings, Taemin?