17.               AJ POV

-                  Do you have any name for the baby? – asked Yunho.

We were lying on my bed. It was 2am but were awake talking. I didn’t noticed but I had many things in common with him and many things to talk about. Even though I’m his best friend, there were some things I didn’t know.

I sighed.

-                  I really like Ryan – I muttered and closed my eyes…

-                  Ryan? – he said in a hesitated voice – Jung Ryan?

-                  Sounds pretty good – I laughed between gritted teeth.

He made a poker face.

-       Don’t you have other options? – He turned to me and placed his hand over my tummy – He’s moving, right?

I nodded. In effect, his kicks were hurting me. I was 7 months and one week if I’m not mistaking but is big and I feel his movements all day long, especially when I’m lying down.

-       Yes. He’s moving

He kissed me in my cheek. I melted. Being sincere I’d never crossed my mind to marry him, because I didn’t find him as a solution to this problem, however, I accepted him because I love him too much.

-                  But NO, Yunho I want to name him Ryan. I fancy that name very much – I said.

-                  Okay, Ally, don’t yell – he made a face.

I giggled. Poor him, he will suffer my hormonal changes now and after the pregnancy.

-                  So, when do you want to get married? – I asked him curious.

-                  Whenever you want. I’d prefer before the baby is born. – he suggested.

-                  Yes, you’re right.

We both were thoughtful only a few months and few weeks. Unless I don’t marry right now, it would be too late.

-       Yunho…. Erm, you know we don’t have much time left. The baby will be born in a few weeks 7 or 6 weeks to be exactly –I said.

He bit his lip frustrated.  

-                  Next month. A civil marriage or do you want a ceremony?

-                  I love wedding dresses but with this big belly… I don’t know.

He gave me a smile and nodded.

-                  Then a civil marriage – he concluded.

-                  Yes.

Yunho ssat and blew.

-       I’ve to go. I have work to do tomorrow. I’ll pick you up in the building, ok? – he smiled.

I shook my head nodding. It was a relief he pick me up because I didn’t like the taxy-driver, I didn’t trust him, I even didn’t who he was.

-       Thanks.

He was going to pick up his jacket but faced my with a different expression concerned.

-                  Ally, have you told your friends about our engagement? – he raised his eyebrow.

-                  Yes. I told them two days ago. –I confirmed.

-                  Oh… and… are you going to tell…. Junsu? – He asked as carefully as he could.

I swallowed.

He has to face it that I’m in love with Yunho, the thing is how will I tell him. I don’t think I am capable, not even facing Junsu. Leslie was crying after I told her about my engagement. And if she is emotional, in that way, Junsu will react in the same way.

I took a deep breath. This is complicated.

-                  I will tell him. Soon.

-                  When? – he frowned.

-                  I need time, Yunho. It won’t be easy.

Yunho blew and nodded.

-                  Please, try not to hurt him – he begged.

-                  He’s going to be hurt, Yunho – I killed him with my stare. -  but I hope I can handle it.

-                  Do you want me to go with you? – he looked at me strange.

I refused with my head.

-                  It ‘s my decision, I have to face him.

-                  But I….

-                  No, Yunho. – I was sitting at that moment and stopped him with my hand.– I will tell him.

He bit his lip and agreed and nodded.

When he left I gave him a kiss saying goodbye. I’m happy he is with me, however…. Now the thing is How can I tell Junsu I will marry Yunho??

 

 

The next day Jaejoong and Yoochun came to my office and started questioning about Yunho. I didn’t want to answer them so I kicked them out, but, How did they find out?

I went to Leslie’s office she looked busier as never before and I obligated her to sit down and to tell me what was going on. She laced her fingers and I stared at her, she had a ring. Then it came to my mind one person: Changmin.

-       Are you engaged to Changmin? – I rolled my eyes.

She swallowed and pierced me with her poisonous look.

-                  Yes, do you Mind? – She raised her eyebrow.

-                  Are you mad because I’m marrying Yunho?- I shouted.

She shook her head.

-       If you want to know why JaeJoong and Yoochun came to your office, ask them. Not me. Besides you know the answer, Alejandra. You are ignoring a very important person in this situation – she talked between gritted teeth.

I frowned and hit the desk with my hand.

-                  What? Junsu? No… Leslie, no.

-                  Yes! Junsu. Do you know how much you are going to hurt him?

-                  He gave up. – I pointed out.

She rolled her eyes.

-                  Get out Alejandra – She ordered me and stood up– Now, get out.

-                  Hey, I’m your boss! You can’t order me! – I yelled.

She rolled her eyes.

-       Look I told Changmin and apparently he told Jaejoong  and Yoochun but, you know what? They came because they are trying to protect a friend which you practically don’t even care.

I blew irritated. She drove me crazy.

-                  I’m going to tell him myself – I finally said, I didn’t want to fight with her.

-                  Go, then. I don’t care – she whispered and opened the door.– Go with Yearin, she will be glad about it. Now go! Leave please.

I left striding, I wanted to hit her, but I controlled myself. Why do they complicate their selves for Junsu? For God’s sake.

 

The next day instead of going to work I went to his house. It was 9 am, so I suppose he has already woken up.

-       Oh hi – he waved at me and smiled.

I faked a gentle smile.

-       Hi, Junsu.

We went to his living room and I sat in one of the sofas. He looked really cheerful that in some way it disappointed me. He was wearing some gym pants and a white top, he looked handsome. And my mouth fell open.

-       What brings you here? – he smiled again.

He took my breath away and I was panicking What’s wrong with me?

-                  I came here to tell you something – I muttered.

-                  What? Is the baby ok? – he worried.

I swallowed.

-                  No, the baby is perfect. Actually is kicking right now – I placed both hands over my tummy, it was a bit painful. Junsu reached out and put his hands against my belly. Then the baby kicked  and Junsu jumped and started laughing nervously.

-                  Oh… he’s moving! – he exclaimed.

-                  Yes! – I couldn’t avoid being cheerful too.

Junsu got away and started laughing. As if he was really excited for the first time feeling the baby. I was moved by his reaction, he looked happy and makes more complicated to tell him the truth.

Junsu looked at my ring by the corner of his eye but ignored it still laughing.

-                  Junsu… erm… I…

-                  When are you giving birth? – he asked.

-                  Erm… exactly In 7 or 8 weeks.

-                  So soon? Wow…. – he made a face – I didn’t expect that.

I nodded. Me either, and in fact it was getting on my nerves, I didn’t know about delivering from the least research I had done, and is not that I’m that interested in.

He blew.

-                  Junsu…. I

-                  Are you hungry? I’m hungry – he laughed and stood up.

I made a poker face. Apparently he knows why I came and doesn’t want me to tell him. Oh god…

I went to the kitchen and stared at him. He was not going to escape.

He turned and got scared to see me.  

-                  What are you doing here? Go to the living room – he ordered me.

-                  No.  I came to tell you something very important but you are escaping – I frowned.

-                  I want to eat something – he pouted.

My eyes went blank.

-       Junsu no, you are not hungry. Can you listen to me please?

He left his plate in a side grumbling and turned to me. He seemed bad, as if he was mad at me. I must say is a relief he still hates me.

I sighed.

-                  I don’t want to know. I know – he said.

-                  I’m getting married with Yunho, do you really know that? – I raised my eyebrow.

His mouth fell open for a moment and shook his head.

-       Married? – he swallowed.

He looked to a side and his eyes widened. I knew they hadn’t told him that small detail. Who was going to be that brave to say it to him?

I exhaled.

-       Yes. Next month I’m getting married. I came here to tell you that.

He nodded slowly.

-                  Oh.

-                  Look, Junsu. I know you…

-                  Leave, please – he muttered.

That was strange for me.

He had his head dicked and didn’t want to lift it. I had terrible bad feeling. Honestly I didn’t want this to happen.

-                  Junsu, please I’m sorry. I know you have been all this time with me…. But I…

-                  Get out! – he shouted and killed me with his look – I don’t want to hear anything from you. If you want to marry Yunho, then go. I don’t mind, anyway I gave up a long time ago – he ducked again his head.

-                  Junsu….

-                  What else do you want to do? You have taken everything of me. I don’t have anything left. Leave –he muttered and left the kitchen.

I wanted to stop him but he pushed me and left to his room. For a moment I thought I was a whimsical but then I realized that I was the whimsical to have pride in myself that I did not realize what Junsu was trying to do. Perfect, now Leslie is not the but one, is me!

I left his home and went I arrived at the office I saw Changmin was with Leslie in her office. Karen was still chatting with Jaejoong through Skype and even Yearin was at the workshop with Yoochun who gave some ideas- I have no idea how they managed to be at the workshop.

Everybody seemed happy with their partners but.. Why do I have to suffer this way? If I marry Yunho I hurt Junsu and if I have a relationship with Junsu, Yunho will be the hurt one. What must I do?

I blew. Anyway there is no going back, I decided to marry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

YR POV.

-                  So we have now two weddings – I said.

Yoochun swallowed and nodded.

-       It’s delicious. You made it? – he raised his eyebrow.

I made a poker face.

-                  Of course, Yoochun. I always made the food.

Daisuke didn’t listen; he only ate concentrated. I’m relieved he liked my food but it seems they like it a lot that won’t listen.

I sighed. Both had to be men, well a little man and one old.

-                  I’m sorry. What were you saying?

My eyes went blank.

-                  I’m saying we have two weddings!

-                  Oh yes! I can’t believe it. I’m looking forward for Changmin’s wedding but Alejandra’s? That one is more harmful than Leslie’s. – he said.

-                  Why? Yunho and Ally look cute! – I said – they are a perfect couple.

-                  Aha. Yes but don’t forget of Junsu, Yearin. He’s really hurt. Last week Alejandra came to his house and told him the news. He was crying! Goodness… I feel so sorry for him. He’s suffering more than JaeJoong – he explained.

He blew.

-                  Junsu said he gave up – I added.

-                  Aish! He was tired! Look, he’s the ing father of that baby! I don’t know what the heck Alejandra’s is thinking. –he shouted.

Daisuke’s mouth fell open. I had to tell him to watch T.V in my room as Yoochun and his vocabulary was going to traumatize my poor son.

When I assured he closed the door I continued talking to Park Yoochun.

-                  Okay, I know all the difficult things Junsu have done but you have to admit, Yunho is the right person for her. He knows her for her, he knows her behavior, almost everything. Don’t you think that would make him a fine husband? Junsu just knows her for a few months – I tried to make him understand.

-                  A year, to be exactly. A year is enough to know a person – he disagreed – Anyway, at least she could be nice to him. She should have made it clear, I mean none of us knew about their relationship and Junsu was like an idiot trying to get it. Why she didn’t tell anything? That’s being rude – he frowned.

I exhaled.

-                  It was a secret.

-                  Yeah but what about his feelings? I don’t fancy at all this… - he shouted.

-                  It’s complicated – I added.

-                  I don’t care. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about that. – he shook his head.

I nodded, it seems it really stresses him and well I understand, one of his friends was destroyed. And it was not Alejandra’s fault she told him many times she didn’t love him.

Good, that’s more harmful.

-                  Do you know about Changmin and Leslie? When are they going to marry?

-                  It’s a civil one, so I don’t know. – I replied.

He made a face.

-                  I’d like to see a ceremony.- I whispered.

-                  It’s difficult when you are a celebrity – he said looking into space thoughtful.

I nodded.

-       Well… I guess you’re right. But is he going to announce his marriage? – that suddenly came to my mind.

Yoochun then made a bothered face.

-       I just noticed Homin are going to get married, both. Pretty amazing… erm, about your question I don’t know. I assume but it will be scandal, you know…. The rumors about JaeJoong and Leslie… - he bit his lip and sighed.

Then I noticed that too. Changmin and Yunho are going to get marry… and the two hurt are Jaejoong and Junsu. Oh god… This is unfair.

-                  Anyway, I hope they can have their privacy.

-                  Will be difficult but perhaps… - he took a deep breath.

Then at that moment I received a call. I answered desperately because I couldn’t find it and when I did I almost had a heart attack.

-                  Hi – I whispered.

-                  Yearin, Where are you? I’m waiting you – she grumbled.

-                  What?

-                  Yes! You told me yesterday to go to your clinic.

-                  Oh right! Your echography! – My took my hand over my mouth– oh my goodness! I’m so sorry… I’ll be there in a second

-                  Hurry. I’m hungry

I laughed anxiously.

-       Ok.

I had to apologize to Yoochun, and leave him in charge of Daisuke while I went running to the clinic. I had forgotten about that completely and I don’t understand how I forgot. Oh god.. What’s wrong with me? I never forget such important things like that.

I was going to leave when Yoochun stopped me.

-                  Don’t you forget something?

-                  What? – I looked at him distracted.

He kissed me for long seconds. Oh yes.. I forgot about that detail.

I laughed nervously.

-                  Oh right – I muttered.

-                  Okay.  Now you are free to go

I arrived and raced to my office. A little voice in my head said Alejandra was going to murder me.

I entered and she was sitting looking at one of the photos of my son in my desk.

-       He looks adorable – she smiled.

I sighed relieved. She was in a good mood.

-                  Yes… that was when he was 3 years old. – I said.

-                  Lovely.

-                  I’m sorry. I completely forgot about it. I’m so sorry – I apologized practically begging.

-                  It’s ok. It seems Yoochun is blocking your Mind – she laughed between gritted teeth.

Impossible.

-                  No!

-                  What were you doing? I heard Yoochun’s voice and your baby’s – she raised her eyebrow.

I growled. I’m always given away by his voice. Why?

-       We were having launch – I replied.

She gave me a smile.

-                  See?

-                  Aish… doesn’t matter. C’mon get in the bed – I patted the bed.

I put on my doctor gown. I did all the process before doing her echography and finally poured the gel in her belly.

-                  Goodness… he’s big - laughed Alejandra

-                  Do you have a name for him? – I said concentrated in the images.

-                  Erm… yes… Ryan.

I swallowed.

For a moment I wanted to hit her. Junsu likes the name Ryan and he said it one time. Why is she doing this?

-       What are you doing? – I shouted and took off the transducer form her belly.

She looked at me strange.

-                  What?

-                  You know very well what I’m talking about. Junsu likes that name. Couldn’t you think of another name? – I frowned.

She rolled her eyes.

-                  Alejandra, don’t make it more difficult, please. Everyone is upset about this, you know you are killing Junsu don’t make it worst.

-                  Why is everything about him? And what about me? – she screamed.

I took a deep breath. Good, I can’t make her complain.

I followed on with the exam but she didn’t talk to me over the half hour that we were there. I told her all the news, she only nodded or asked about fundamental things but after this, she simply left. This is getting worst.

 

 

 

***

JS POV

-       Are you hungry? I can tell Leslie to bring food – Changmin asked me.

He now lives in my home almost everyday to check if I was dead or alive. Naturally I’m in no suicide mode so I don’t think killing myself I have many things care about not only her.

-                  I’m fine Changmin –I replied low.

-                  Junsu, you haven’t eaten for days!

I blew.

-                  Fine, tell her to bring food. A lot of food – I pointed out and smiled.

-                  Right away

While he called Leslie, Jaejoong entered my home, without saying anything he hugged me. I guess that’s why they call him “the mother”, he knows at what moment to show up.

-       Are you okay? – he muttered.

I refused with my head. How can I be okay?

He gave me a smile and patted my hair.

-                  Ok, good! Leslie is coming with food. – informed Changmin

-                  Really? Goodness… let her in peace, she must be busy – JaeJoong grumbled.

-                  Not at all. She was in her house sleeping. Do you think I don’t know her? It’s Saturday she gets late to work.

-                  Whatever – Jaejoong turned to me and pichend my cheek– Junsu, for crying out loud! You are so… so… thin. I think we should start working on a new album  - he suggested – you have to be busy now

Changmin nodded.

-                  Yes keep your mind on your songs… that’s really a good method to deal with those romantic stuffs – he added.

JaeJoong made a poker face.

-                  Anyway, do you want to work?

-                  I’m tired – I muttered.

Jaejoong and Changmin looked at each other with their eyes really wide. As if what I said was something dangerous, which to me it seems normal.

-                  Oh god! What has she done to you? – Changmin had his mouth open.

-                  Erm…why? – It was strange to me.

-                  Look, Junsu… - JaeJoong stared at me – we all know you love to work and you… in your life, have denied working. It’s so damn strange! – he exclaimed.

I laughed between gritted teeth.

They have gotten scared, perfect!

-       How many times do I have to tell you guys that I’m fine? I won’t suicide.

Both looked at me really frighten.

I burst into laughter. Oh god… Do I look that bad for them to horrified that way?

I heard noise outside and then my door opened. Leslie came in with food. I was going to eat as much as I could, to make then calm down. I wasn’t hungry but I guess my instinct of smell work when I have food. I hope.

Leslie entered and left the food in the little table in the middle og the living room.

-                  Hi guys, -she smiled and approached Chagmin to give him a short kiss– god! Being outside the building is complicated now – she said and went to the kitchen.

Leslie brought all her cheerful aura and the atmosphere got happier. I wasn’t tensed because it was my fault or being concerned by everyone else, only the small spark from sorrow of Jaejoong.

-                  Why? – asked Changmin.

-                  A lot of people were looking at me like a stranger. I don’t know if those bloody news were read by all the people of Korea.

The 3 of us started laughing. That showed some innocent of her.

-                  Do you really thing you would be unnoticed? – Changmin raised his eyebrow.

-                  But I went to the most hidden place! – she yelled.

-                  You have to realize you are the president of Jame’s company – Jaejoong reminded her – and you know that’s not any company.

She blew.

She came back with plates, forks and started  giving out the food.

-       Yeah Yeah… - she made a listless face.

She sat beside Changmin and both gave out food for Jaejoong and me.

Jaejoong looked at her by the corner of his eyes for a few minutes but didn’t say much because Changmin was by her side and she looked at Changmin more. By his eyes, he was really in love with her. He couldn’t take off his eyes from her at any moment and they didn’t stop smiling.

They looked cute.

-                  Anyway. Why is it that everybody is here? Something happened? – she asked while we ate watching the TV.

JaeJoong swallowed and pointed at me with his gaze.

-                  Him. He’s bad, really bad – he whispered.

-                  Me? What? Why me? I got confused.

She talked to me in murmurs, said something I didn’t understand and he nodded. Even Changmin hears and I can’t.

-                  I’d like to kill that Woman too – she suddenly muttered.

-                  Alejandra? – I frowned. – why?

She pierced me through with her gaze and blew.

-                  Look I don’t want to be mean but why are you pretending to be happy when you are not? She destroyed your heart right?

-                  No. She’s happy I think that’s important

She bit her lip and turned her face.

-                  Well at least you are strong to survive this situation .- she added.

-                  Why?

-                  If I were you I’d be dying. Literally dying.

-                  I’m trying not to – I whispered.

She moved her head as if trying to remember something.

-                  Yes, you are brave than all of us I think. I admire you for that but you should at least for once let out all your pain. I’m not telling you to do it now, whenever you feel like doing it. Don’t suppress all that pain is worst – she suggested.

-                  Thanks – I said and gave her a smile.

She say by my side and gave me a kiss on my cheek.

-       JaeJoong told me you like kissing me – she said in my ear.

I burst into laughter. I didn’t expect that.

-       Oh my….

She also smiled playfully and gave me a kiss on my cheek.

-                  I’m glad you are strong Junsu.

I sighed. How cute she is….