Circle Of Trust | Topu-Da | Class A Review by iMerawr

Just a reviewer's note:

I apologize for the amount of time it has taken for us to process your request and finish your review. On behalf on myself and the rest of the World of Literature Review Shop Team, I apologize. I hope you do not take this review to heart as it is my opinion. Everyone's opinion differs and I hope this review will do justice and advise you towards better writing as an author. I also apologize for the extra time taken, as I wrote it partially on paper than it was transferred to another laptop which I don't have access to anymore. So I'm rewriting this for the 3rd time now. I hope you are satisfied.

1. Story Title: 8/10

Originality: 1.5/2

With originality,I base this off the search results of AFF and the tendency of story titles to seem stereotypical, cliche and overused. With circle of trust, I felt a slight aura of it being a drama title. There are also several stories with the same name. I am not saying it was not an original title, I feel like titles are the brand and your product should be remembered with an eye-catching title. The title is the first impression here.

Appropriateness/Relevance: 1.5/2

The title did in all matters relate to the story. In my eyes, it was deemed appropriate but the story does not only fall under the moral of Trust. It was appropraite to a certain extent. This story could be flipped around and can have a title relating to another virtue from within the story. Although this explaination is not as clear, I hope you get the gist. 

Significance 1.5/2

Regarding to the significance of the title, this all depends on the reader. What is means to the reader. In my opinion, the story's moral is more significant then the title itself. I feel like the title doesnt totally capture the whole feel of the story. Circle of trust, it does take an aspect. It could mean alot to other readers but will they remember it. I will discuss more in the section in which I talk of the Impacts to Readers.

Impact to Readers: 1.5/2

This section will take in account to the first impression the title gives to the readers and the aftermath of the title after the story has been finished. In my opinion, your title gives an impact to readers which make them wonder, what is this circle and what meaning of trust. There is alot of factors to what readers can think. In my opinion, I thought this story would be more on the lines of love, drama and such. It was but on the lines of unexpected spin off at these genres and topics. After the story, I think that the title would make more sense, but I had to put more thought into it, what kind of circle of trust was there, I feel like I didnt pay attention to the title as much as I did to the story and its moral. A story could be remembered but if the title couldn't, then I don't really know. In my opinion, the title is the first impression, it is what reels in people, being able to use that as an advantage will surely be of help in deciding titles. 

Scopes and Limitations: 2/2

For limitations, this focuses on what kind of information does the title give to a reader. This is what i meant in how it makes readers wonder. What can the circle of trust mean, there is not much revealed from the title, which gives more a reason to check out the story. This was well executed and put to an advantage because no one wants to see a title like, My heart breaks, and they already know the conflict. I don't like those kind of titles, gives off the conflict and everything. You need something to wonder about. Curiousity never kills. Good job on limiting the known factors of the story. Continue doing that. 

2. Characters :28.5 /30

Presentation/ Portrayal: 10/10

With this section, I am extremely proud of the execution done in the presentation of your characters. There was a few misconceptions but overall it was well done. There are several characters to talk of. Hopefully this won't be too long but the characters is what makes a story. Norma Jin is obviously the main protagonist in the story. She was presented as a strong willed, independent woman in the story. Hardworking yet stubborn as a bull yet so selfless. Not wanting to be anyone's burden. It was so clear, no doubt about it. For little Jihoon, it was well known he was mature and had a greater understanding of the world then any 7 year old would have but the maturity is a bit of a misconception.Usually discipline brings maturity. In my opinion it does. Jihoon was smart and quick-witted but made the wrong choice in the end. He was still a kid, simply tricked by words, believing Jaejoong. Jaejoong on the other hand, proved to be heartless and merciless. Of course with everything there is a back story. There was reasons to explain that near the end. For Junsu, clearly he is a bit clueless, but he is considerate of Norma. Or considerate in general, willing to keep quiet, to give respect. He chooses justice over family. For park yoochun, excuse me for my profanity, he was presented as the cocky, know it all bastard. Thinking that everything can be gained through money and party. In the end he tries to amend for his mistakes asking for forgiveness. Most of the misconceptions just came with a bit of logic, there was not many, most could be solved with social interaction between the characters. 

Diversity: 5/5

With this, the characters all take different roles, thoughts, habits and actions. Are some too similar to cliche characters or reactions. I feel like yes but no. There is so much diversity put into the stereotypical reactions, there are some plot twists people didnt expect, that she didnt end up with Jaejoong. That she said no, it comes from the event, the flow and the character's perspective. Even coming from little Jihoon, he was a bright color filled child. With the characters, there was a lot of diversity except a bit in Yoochun and Jaejoong. They followed the typical natural bad in every drama you could find, the rich baddie who gives no two . They did flow the plot though, I feel like regardless of that you did a great job. You chose great personas, some a bit stereotypical but you did great on bringing different spin offs.

Development:3.5/5

With development as a character, I feel like in such a short time, that time in the story was an eye opener for all the characters. They all learned in the end, although it had taken them alot of events to realize what is right and wrong I feel like it was a well deserved development and it was not rushed nor too slow. I think all of them greatly developed with no doubt about it. Norma had learned that she can't always take everything alone, Jaejoong learned that power should not be used and you can't always get everything. Jihoon learned how to speak up in the end, not hiding things.Yoochun regrets and tries to turn into a better man. It was the easy good fairty tale ending to a story. But the backstories of the characters came in a bit too late, Jaejoong finally reveals why he hates Norma but i feel like that could've been revealed earlier to give more explaination to readers. It was not like anyone else knew that. I feel like backstories can be explained and not be left at the .

Effectiveness: 5/5

With this, I am greatly affected by the characters, I don't think I cried but I felt empathy. As I read through the comments, people did get mad, people did curse, people raged, spammed as each chapter would go. For characters, for events. I think the characters were very effective to bring the plot to where it is. Each word was carefully selected,each action, and everything. Good job on the characters. Seriously.

3.Setting  12/15

The setting always varied with the situation but it was always well executed. The best i can remember is when Jihoon would complain about living in the rickety house and it had sickened him. When Norma was given directions to where she was going. I feel like there wasn't much interaction as to what the characters had done in the setting, or not as much description which kind of left it a bit empty. Empty in the sense where I think there could have been a bit more written, to emphasize the setting, to make it feel like home or to make it feel like it was not. It was unique, the choices you chose. The setting was well done, working on descriptiveness will bring more reality and imaginiation to your readers.

4. Narration 11/15

With narration, there was not a variety but you chose the certain 3rd Omniscent Perspective point which I do reccommend using myself. It is a very universal POV as you are like a god, you can see everything, go into the character's mind and hear everything. This was slightly used to its full potential, there was alot of grammatic problems with the narration. Just slight problems with verb tense in your narration. Regardless if we talk of events done, it was well done and effective in your narration. Please work on grammar because there were broken sentences missing preopositions as well. It was not hard to understand, I understood, it is just that I would like to see it more edited.

5.Plot 25.5/30

Conflict(Internal/External) 9.5/10

With this, I have to say this story consisted of many conflicts internally and externally for each character. Internal conflicts usally dealed with Norma, how is she going to deal with the next thing, next day. She never really did open up to herself, she always thought alone was the way. Other character's experienced this like Norma's mother who ended up turning over a new leaf in the end. External problem was essientally the whole I WANT JIHOON MY NEPHEW BACK, then NO I DONT WANT TO GIVE HIM BACK, OKAY I"LL TAKE HIM BACK BY FORCE, problem. I feel like the conflicts were on point, they all made sense. It all corresponded and it was very moving and entertaining. It kept me reading it. I went from Chapter 11 to the End within probably 2 sittings. 2 very long sittings or actually I was laying down and reading as I woke. The conflicts were well done but yet I feel YooChun was a bit iffy with the resolution. I dont know. xD

Originality 8/10

With this, I do feel that all of this is an original but I can't help but see this in a drama that has been published. Alot of factors from a drama have been induced in here. This has the feel of a drama yet I know it's yours. There is a huge dramatic influence in your fanfic though. I will consider that and give a more lenient score. This plot got me playing it in my end though, I can just imagine it. NO LIE.

Structure: 4/5

Plot structure would follow beginning middle end or it can follow conflict remorse and resolution and such.  I feel if i were reading your story as it was on going, it could've finished at any time, you could've but you kept on going, more conflicts but more closure. I loved it. Your structure was almost perfect. I feel like most of the backstories should've came a bit earlier. More development could've happened. You did a great ending. Your beginning was a bit shaky at first, there was not much to catch on, your description really didn't catch my eye but as I got into the story it did go well in the end.

Clarity Of Details: 4/5

This is where your lack of backstories fall under, I feel like the timing and the story could've flowed better with more explaination and details for the readers. Don't be afraid to add them. Your plot was clear in the end but some things were left unexplained in the beginning and left way till the end. For norma's mother that is an exception. Good job on the plot though I enjoyed it.

6. Story Flow 12 /15

In the beginning, it was a bit slow, I felt like nothing really caught my eye. It was slow. There was some flashbacks to get the story going then woosh. Main character has to take care of a baby. LOL I feel like it was a bit too fast but not so fast. It was moderate. Everything after that, it escalated, it kept on going.There was nothing in the story that really confused me as much. I knew things would get explained in the end, but most of Jaejoong's behaviour and true feelings were revealed more in the latter. The flow continued and I feel like in the end as your epilogue, you just stuffed alot of things I really kind of found a bit complex or really stuffy. The story flow was alright. Always remember to review facts that were said in previous chapters and to build of what was said and not to add extra information that can catch readers off guard.

7.Theme 20/20

There are several themes but I guess let's just focus on Trust. The ability to trust, regain it and accept it. There is actually alot of factors in which trust can fall into. Fear of trusting. Denial of trust. There was alot being shown. Norma not being able to trust anyone but herself. Her mother not wanting to have faith and trusting her daughter's words. People getting manipulated by money and putting their trust in power. This was effectively shown. I am actually surprised as I think about it. The more you think about it again, the more you learn. More perspectives. Thank you for that. Trust is a huge thing. Trust is important. Trust others. It's okay, you can rebuild it. If you have faith in each other. So many conceptions and misconceptions too.

8. Descriptiveness of the Narrative 16/20

The vocabulary that was used was moderate, I feel like you should search up synonyms, you tend to use repeititive description words when there are many. Take time into it. It's always great to learn. There were some figurative languages used. Invest time into learning some too as well. Your grammar needs to be fixed a bit in order to get the full package delievered to readers. Review your chapters or get a beta-reader or improve. But it's just slight verb tenses and prepositions needed.

9. Entertainment Factors and Purpose Identification 18/20

There were several plot twists, I really didn't expect Jihoon to do it as in go with the kims although I watch dramas myself, I get really caught up into the events that I forget to expect things.

There were  cringe moments but mostly stressed, dramatic moments where it was the feeling of anxiety for the characters, It always followed the drama and the mood of characters.

Playful, joking, plotting and many energies of dialogues varied on the type of conversation. Out of respect, out of rage, or out of sadness. All kinds of energies. It all depended. It was well executed.

There was many events at different levels in which was interesting. Small things would happen, then happy life then woosh sorry, im here to ruin it again, that's how it usually happens. There wasn't always sad, there was the development between Norma and Junsu which brought the love line.

Purpose in writing, why did you write this? Maybe to tell a story. To get a moral done. I don't know. Fanfics are written to be a fanfic but you never know there can be a ulterior motive for it. I ask you, why did you write this story. Is trust a major thing for you. Is family something important?

I FINALLY FINISHED. It takes me really long to write these all up. 

I apologize I am a day late from what I said before.

I hope this review didn't disappoint. 

With any questions feel free to PM or comment.

Tata~

iMerawr

Your Review Score is   151 /155

(97.4 %)