I remember during my birthday when I finished a Leeteuk story which is entitled "On the Wings Of Love"? I was inspired by the book, "The Selection" which my best friend Ashley let me borrow. It was about a girl who was casted to be one of the candidates to be the Prince's wife. Those two stories are similar, but in Leeteuk's story, there is no royalty involved and it is just competition, friendship and searching.

Somehow, I wanted to be the protagonist in my story because in the SiHae event, I want me, Jasmin unni and also the other ELFs to be one of the lucky winners to see them up-close in person. Oh yeah, did I mentioned that only 700 will be selected? I was still frustrated about it. There are so many ELFs who are now willing to spend their money just to get one raffle ticket and I'm still here, waiting for a miracle. If only I have a part time job, then my problem would be lessened but sadly, I don't have one and I can't apply for anything yet because I'm not yet eighteen. This is the only time when I wanted to be old. I was used to being the maknae, or even the eternal maknae just like Ryeowook. I'm always the second youngest or one of the youngest in class but in my situation right now, I wanted to be old enough.

This damn feeling, when you can't determine whether you'll still go for it or not, is tearing me apart. I want to see SiHae, I really do. But money is hindering me from seeing them. Even the other ELFs were sad and don't know what to do because we're just students. I also asked my friend Sam, a fellow ELF who was my classmate in high school who likes Donghae oppa too.

"Let’s try. There's nothing wrong with it, right? Let’s save some money." She told me through Facebook chat. Well, nothing bad will happen if I try. As of now, these things are driving me insane. First, where will I get such money? If I told my mom about the truth, will she allow me? And second, only 9 days left, the promo will end soon. Third, if you bought some items, is there an assurance that you will win? That's a raffle. It's a game of luck. So many things are running through my mind when I was chatting with Sam. I even said, "This is the Selection, a one chance of a lifetime. Better now or never."