day 17- look

30 days of writing

’’I’m okay,’’ is what he said, ’’It’s alright,’’ he assured me.

And to think I was stupid enough to believe him. I saw the look in his eyes, yet I didn’t try finding out what was bothering him. I didn’t even ask if he was sure, if he would be okay tomorrow. I just wanted to believe in his words so bad that I did, even though I knew better. I knew nothing was alright. I saw right through him.

I knew I should’ve done something when he started disappearing into the shadows. I knew I should’ve pulled him back to the light. I was just so busy with my own pety problems that I didn’t turn him enough attention and that’s how I lost him.

He rarely comes out of his room now. That happens only when he’s hungry or just wants to feel the sun on his face. He’s become so pale, his bubbly self has gone. He’s always wearing this scared look in his eyes. I know no one else notices it, but I do. He’s never been scared, never. He’s the bravest person I know, well knew.

When girls go up to him to flirt, he doesn’t flirt back anymore. He just politely bows and goes his own way. He used to be the class playboy. There wasn’t a day without his devious smirk and the countless girls around him. He was always at the centre of attention. He loved it. He loved the spotlight. Now he’s walking around in the dark, running away from it.

He never told me what happened, what changed, what it was that made him turn this way, that made him be scared of people, be scared of me. It hurts me inside that there is no way for me to help him. He won’t even let me near him enough for me to see what’s wrong.

When he’s out of his room he looks perfectly fine. He looks like himself, only he isn’t. Any stranger wouldn’t know that there is something wrong with him, they’d think he’s just another healthy young man who is just shy. But they don’t know him like I do. They don’t know how he’s changed. They don’t know how he’s pushed everyone away from himself. They don’t see the pain in his eyes.

He has no one. No one is there trying to help him. No one is there trying to figure out what’s wrong. No one is there caring for him. No one is there to his head when he’s overtaken by sadness. He is all alone.

Even I’m not there. I’m watching him from afar. I don’t dare go near him because I’m afriad he’ll push me away again. I can’t handle that again. He’s the most precious person to me. You may think it’s stupid that I’m not there for him. I know it is. You may call me a coward, because I am. And a day doesn’t go by that I don’t regret not going to him, talking to him, getting him to smile again.

To get to see that smile that once kept me going.

And now it’s gone and I’m afriad it’s never coming back.

 

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Another depressing one.. I don't know why they're lately all depressing.. Sad really.
It's supposed to be in Kyungsoo's POV about Jongin, but you can think of whoever. I allow it.

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blurryvisioned
So, as everyone can see, I stopped, maybe in the fitire I will continue it? maybe not.. When I get back into my mood of writing maybe?

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blurryvisioned
#1
@Yonglulu Ghh, so happy you like my stuff. Love your Unexpected Love. It means so much to me that you like it!
Uh, yeah he did. His mommy got a little burnt though. Not much.
Aaah, didn't really know how to end that one, and the Chanyeol one either so they just ended like that.. Keke.
Yonglulu
#2
shdfjkf so did chanyeol see his parents eventually?? ;A; (le er for happy endings)
but I'm glad to see the happy ending (i think?) for the previous BaekHun :DD the temple run thingy~~
Yonglulu
#3
Wow~ I found someone else doing the same challenge as me & my chingus /happy face
I loved Chap.3 the most though, it was really cute, plus longgg <333
Baekhun are one of my fav pairings too :D