After what happened during school I didn’t feel like staying and helping out. I only wanted to get home and sleep away the pain that was causing my heart to beat violently. It was truly painful and I only wanted it to go away. But it wasn’t that easy.

That stupid guy that I didn’t even know the name of entered my thoughts all the time; I wondered why he was doing all this towards me, had I done something wrong? I actually couldn’t understand.

And then we had Jonghyun. Something was definitely off with him, but I didn’t dare to ask him. I could ask any of the other five but I simply didn’t feel like I had anything to do with it. I hadn’t known him for such a long time that I freely could ask him about anything.

Tomorrow, everything would be finished. I was impatiently waiting for it to be done, I truly wanted to see the result, if it was good enough to pass, something that I hoped it would or else I didn’t know what I would do.

I didn’t know if I would call it luckily, but Jonghyun hadn’t turned up at school so far. Now I was just hoping that he would arrive to school today or tomorrow either. It felt a bit weird to say that I didn’t want him here, in school.

The door slid open and I watched in fear how Jonghyun stepped inside, why did he have to come today. Though, he didn’t even look at me as he made his way towards his seat. Pain struck my chest once again. Had I done something wrong, did he perhaps know what happened? That I accidentally kissed Chang Hyun, hopefully not, I didn’t want him to think that I was some sort of player, not when he was the only one I had eyes for, and he knew that.

He knew that I loved him.

Though, he didn’t seem to have the same feelings for me. But I was not going to give up, not yet at least. I wanted to fight more, to show him how much I actually loved him.

I would find myself catching glimpses of him once in a while. He looked so tired and worn-out, I guess the life of being an idol wasn’t always fun. It had its bad sides, just like everything else in this world. Once the class ended I hurriedly stood up before I practically ran out of there, I wanted to see if Jonghyun would go to the dance room. If he were about to, then I would need to stop him. And with I truly mean, with a means.

And just as expected, he soon enough fallowed after me. But just as he was about to turn and walk into the hallway where the dance room was I called out his name loudly. I didn’t care that girls turned their heads and glared at me.

I watched him turn around, his eyes immediately met mine and I bit my lip, hard. I didn’t really know what to say or do right now. I couldn’t scream that he weren’t allowed to go in there, it would be too weird. Instead I rushed up to him and grabbed in wrist. I know; I was really putting myself in deep by doing this. But honestly, as long as I had Jonghyun, then I didn’t need anyone else.

“Come, I want to show you something.” I started to pull him along; I acted like I didn’t hear his objections. Because I knew that he was telling me to stop. He told me that he needed to practice on his dance routine. It wasn’t like I didn’t care about his idol life. But sometimes one may take some time from everything and just relax. It’s not healthy to work all the time, especially not for someone as young as him.

Honestly, I didn’t really know what to show him, I didn’t really have anything to show him, I just uttered that so that he wouldn’t proceed further towards the room. So instead of showing him something out of the ordinary I dragged him outside. The cherry blossoms were at its peak right now and I’d never really experienced something like that before. Not in this scale.

“Sit.” I ordered him to sit down under one of the trees. He stared at me with this look, as if he thought that I was stupid. “Okay, I know that cherry blossoms and everything is not so special and all for you, but for me, this is the first time to actually experience something like this.” I said as if I needed to explain it to him. At least his face softened a bit and I let out a sigh of relief when he actually did as I told.

After that he had placed himself down I sat down next to him. I bit my lip as he turned his head to look at me. I gulped down on my saliva as my heart thumped faster. He was so close, yet it still felt like he was so far away.  Maybe it was because I didn’t know what he felt about me. Maybe that was why I felt so insecure. Because I wanted to know what he felt? If he even felt something for me.

“How’s your foot?” I decided to end the awkward silence. I watched how he glanced down on it and smiled. Unknowingly a smile spread on my lips as well. I didn’t need to hear him answer my question because I already knew that it had healed.

He glanced back and met my gaze and I immediately felt heat rise to my cheeks and how butterflies erupted in my stomach. “Can’t you show me something?” I asked him nicely and I don’t think I even got the chance to react before he pulled himself up on his feet’s. My guess was that he’d been away from dancing for so long that he simply took every opportunity he got to dance.

I watched in awe as moved his feet’s around so smoothly, I couldn’t understand how he did that, it was as if he was floating in the air. He sent me this look that made my whole body burn. If he only knew what he was doing to me. I blushed like mad when his stomach suddenly got exposed and I turned my head away, utterly embarrassed.

After a couple of minutes he slumped down again, with a huge smile was plastered on his lips as he recalled his breath. “Wow, you were really cool.” I clasped a hand over my mouth after that slipped out. I did not want to sound like some overly crazy fan girl. I didn’t want to be like the other girls at school that were swooning over him just because he was an idol. “Can I ask you something?” I blurted as I turned to face him. He nodded his head once as he took a deep breath of air.

“Why do you treat me so nicely?” stupid question I know. But how could he know that I weren’t like everyone else. I know that my question must’ve sounded pretty weird because he let out a low laugh. “Why, you don’t like that I treat you nicely?” he snickered. I told him that it wasn’t that. “How do you know that I’m not going to get all crazy about you? Like everyone else.” I explained further and waited for his reaction. He travelled into deep thinking, I saw it by the way he tilted his head to the side.

“Because you are not like everybody else, you didn’t even know who I was when I first met you.” he let out an amused laughter and I pouted. Of course I wouldn’t know of him since I weren’t into Korean music.