I yawned and sat up in my bed. I leaned against the headboard thinking about the dream I just had. It was about Jonghyun. Lately, I've been having sad dreams about him and it seems like he's been trying to tell me something. I wonder what my dreams mean?

I moved the blanket away from me and and moved myself to the side of the bed so I could stand up. Right when I was about to stand I felt something tug on my wrist. My heart started to beat really fast because I knew who that person was. Who else would I be sharing this room with?

"Where do you think your going?" Jiyong said fuming. 

I turned my head slightly only to see him also leaning against the headboard with an upset face. He harshly pulled my arm towards him and it made me jump back into bed making me yelp a little under my breath because of the pain. 

"I-I was going dow---"

"Why the did you throw my stuff outside!?" he said interrupting me. 

I was frozen. I wanted to speak up but I was thinking that my answer seemed incorrect. Like he was expecting something for him to understand. I was angry last night. That was my reason?

All of a sudden Jiyong sat straight up and slapped me right across the face. 

"Why aren't you answering me!? All you have to do is explain!"

I stayed quiet and forcefully pulled back my arm and walked to the door to go downstairs. But as soon as I opened the door I saw it slam closed and I turned around only to be greeted by his face and he then pushed me against the door locking both my hands onto it. 

"What's with you lately!? How come this whole past week you've been ignoring me? Whenever we come back home from somewhere you automatically run up to the bathroom and lock yourself in there! Are you taking drugs!?" He snapped at me. I was trembling with fear because my voice just couldn't escape my throat and I knew he wanted an answer.

We stayed silent until he once again broke the awkwardness.

"Do you still think about Jonghyun?"

I looked at him with a blank expression. Is he reading my mind? Well, if you could hear what I'm saying in my head Jiyong then I have been! It doesn't matter to you anyways because your cheating on me with another girl! My mouth opened when I was about to tell him what I shouted in my head only to be interrupted again.

"If you ever mention about the woman I've been staying with these past weeks you would want to hear the answer now, don't you?"

I slowly nodded my head because I actually did want to hear about this girl. Sounds like shes worth my time to listen about since she stole my husband. 

"I've obviously been having an affair with you and you know that right?"

Of course I knew that am I stupid to him? Or is he trying to make me angry? I've known that for these past weeks too. I would always pretend to sleep and open my eyes a little bit only to see him changing his clothes and quietly whispering to his other love on the phone. Then I hear the front door close moments later and hear his car drive off in the middle of the night. 

"Yes .." Was all I could say.

"Do you know why?"

I really didn't know why. Maybe he has lost interest in me. 

".. No."

"You don't? Well, It's because if your cheating on me then I could cheat on you too right? Isn't that fair?" He tightened his grip on my hand but I didn't want to scream in pain in front of him.

"I-I'm not chea---"

"WITH JONGHYUN!" he yelled in my face again and it made me jump this time.

"You always sneak out of this house to go see him correct? No wait, that's impossible." he started to laugh at what he said. "You can't I forgot. Because HE'S DEAD!"

I couldn't hold in my cries any longer and I felt a tear slowly fall down my cheeks. 

"Yah ! .. He's dead? Have you forgotten he died? You think about him too much but there's no use because he's de---"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT JONGHYUN!!!" I snapped back at him and was strong enough to push him off of me as I started to heavily breathe. 

"You .. Why did you--"

"I hate you Jiyong .. " I whispered as I tilted my head to the side.

"It's pretty clear that we've changed in the past months. Remember when we were both happy together? What happened? Why are we enemies? Why do we ha--"

Jiyong then stood up as he was pushed down on the ground earlier. He slowly walked towards Mee-Yon and gave her a cold look but was speechless and cut off her sentence.

"Who ever said we hated each other?" he said with now a concern look. 

"D-Don't we? .. Why else would you have another love?" I said confused. Shocked by how concerned he looked right then and there.

"Because, I was angry. Furious. Whenever we had dinner with your parents you would always bring up Jonghyun and how much you miss him. You seemed so happy whenever you heard his name come out of anyones mouth. I couldn't stand seeing this because I thought how you never seemed to smile around me anymore. I thought you ... you wanted to end it with us. I wanted another love so that I could too be happy on the side talking about someone that seemed to make me smile too," Jiyong said as he went to go sit back down on the bed.

Another tear came falling as I heard his last sentence. I then realized that I don't smile in front of him anymore and I do think about Jonghyun more often. I decided I had to stop being a weakling who cries over a person who is gone. I should be proud that I have someone who would always care for me right now at this very moment. I was too selfish to notice that I've put Jiyong in a bad position. 

I walked over to the bed and sat down next to Jiyong. He wouldn't look at me and could only stare at the ground, quiet. But after awhile he decided to speak up.

".. I take my vows seriously. I don't know if you do." 

That sentence made me feel like the bad person in this story. I was the one who made him go off with another girl because of me ignoring him all the time. But haven't I realized yet that he comes home every morning and stay every afternoon to talk to me and make me food and go out? But I refuse to go out because I stay at home helplessly hoping that Jonghyun would magically appear in front of me? Just then I heard his voice speak again.

"I love you Mee-Yon.  I-I'm sorry for--"

I cut him off realizing I was the fault.

"No, I should be sorry." I saw Jiyong lift his head and slowly glance at me. "I didn't know I caused you this much pain .. I'm sorry. I'll try and forget Jonghyun. It's just he's been a big part of my life and now that I can't talk to him makes me a little .. depressed."

I leaned my head on his shoulder letting myself go. I felt him hug me and pull me closer to him. It's been so long since I felt his comfort. It makes me feel happy inside. This will probably be the awaited day for me to erase every moment and memory I have ever shared with Jonghyun. 

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OMG! lol NOOO! Jonghyuuun! DX

Gosh, when I read this I just had to listen to some Shinee for some reason hahah

Another sad chapter. Gah! I don't know how to lead it on to a happy scene (x 

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