19th May 2010

I was given new position at the institute. I’m still a part of Azrael project team but instead of an observer, now I’m called research assistant… which my task is more like a slave. I did rewriting reports, transferring data, arranging some papers in the storage, writing notes during meeting, delivering paper works and letters, cleaning the office and making coffee for seniors.

I had to spend at least 10 hours per week in the institute. My new job was a lot more tiring and frustrating than my previous task. I wasn’t complaining because of the working hours or the many tasks I was given, instead I’m stressed because the tasks are too easy. Re-typing, data transfer, cleaning and delivering papers; you don’t really use your brain for those tasks. I don’t like this position. I spend 10 hours per week at the institute and tiring my body with the meaningless tasks and I am not learning anything.  I think I should speak to Jonghyun about it.

Today, again I asked Onew about Taemin. He told me he hasn’t woken up yet, still sleeping. It’s hard for me to believe that Taemin is still sleeping after 5 days. Moreover after Onew told me they didn’t detect any injuries on Teamin. I doubt that he was telling me the truth.

But I don’t think I’m in the position to ask more because according to the rules, I am not allowed to see Taemin until he is discharged from the institute and I am not entitled to received any information about the subject because I am not part of the internal team anymore (they consider my new position as external team). But since Onew is close to me, he agreed to update me with Taemin’s condition, so I have no choice but to believe him.

I wonder if Taemin will be alright. I hope he will be discharged quickly.

p/s: just moved into my new place that is provided by the institute two days ago. It’s a terrace house near my university. Not too big but enough for a student like me and I can save money on transportation fare because it’s in the walking distance to my university.

22th May 2010

Onew told me that Taemin has finally awake. He is healthy and lively.

7th June 2010

This morning, I went to my old half destroyed apartment to pick a few things which were still functioning and wearable. On my way back, I suddenly remember that I haven’t seen Mr.Lee since that incident. I wonder how Mr.Lee and his family were doing without Taemin in their house. I was also expecting to get some information about Taemin, if by any chance Mr.Lee had visited Taemin. So, I decided to stop by at Mr.Lee’s house.

To my surprise, they have moved out. There wasn’t anyone in the house and a neighbor told me that Mr.Lee and his family had moved out from the house since last month (most probably right away after that incident) and no one knows where they have moved to.

They have moved out? But why? Are they moving out to a place nearer to the institute so they can visit Taemin regularly? But their old house is not that far away from the institute. I wonder why they moved.

8th June 2010

Onew told me Taemin is fine today.

I told Jonghyun about Mr.Lee and he didn’t seem to be surprised. He said he is ought to do that, to make up excuses for Taemin’s disappearance from the society.  

17th June 2010

My mid-term exam is around the corner, so I asked to be excused from the works during my exam weeks. Truthfully, it’s not that I’m worried that I couldn’t concentrate, it’s just that… I’m taking advantage to skip work.

p/s: I think I saw Mr.Lee at the institute but I wasn’t able to greet him. Did he come to visit Taemin? Lately, Onew keep on giving me insincere answers when I asked about Taemin. He only said he was “fine”, “ok” and “normal” and refused to elaborate when I asked.

27th June 2010

I met Mr. Lee at the institute today. It was during lunch hour, so Mr.Lee took me out for lunch. Even though he smiled, he looked pale and tired. We were chatting randomly about his families, my new job and my study, until I brought up Taemin.

 He fell silent for a brief moment before he broke into tears. 

I was shocked by what he told me next. Mr.Lee and his family weren’t allowed to see Taemin after they took Taemin into the institute. He told me that was the rules that they had agreed to in the first place. But his wife, Mrs. Lee missed Taemin so much that she begged him to bring Taemin home. She was so upset and it was affecting her health. Even his daughters also asked him to take Taemin back home.

Mr.Lee had been visited the institute a few times to negotiate with the management about this. He wishes to take Taemin back or at least has the permission to visit Taemin but until now, he had been receiving negative feedbacks from the institute.

From the way Mr.Lee explained the situation, I realized how important Taemin is to him. He’s such a loving father and it hurts me inside to see his tears when he talked about Taemin. I can’t believe the institute did that to them. Is it even legal, to take away a child from his parents, his family? 

p/s:  Mr.Lee also mentioned that he was considering to take lawyer’s advice and might bring this case to the court if necessary.  

29thJune 2010

I have to do two presentations at university tomorrow, I should be preparing my notes but I keep on finding myself staring into the space without processing any of the words in the notes.

I’m still trying to process what Onew told me yesterday. I’ve never felt this lost before.

I told Jonghyun and Onew about Mr.Lee.

They told me there was nothing to worry about… I wonder if they referred to the fact that Mr.Lee is suing the company (which truthfully, I’m not worry at all) or the fact that Mr.Lee is not allowed to see Taemin.   

Then, came again secret which made my head hurt. Onew told me it’s not really a secret but it just that they don’t go around telling others; so only a few people in the team knew that Teamin is not Mr.Lee’s biological son. Taemin was given to Mr.Lee by the institute to take care of him 17 years ago as part of the project. Taemin was never Mr.Lee’s son. Mr.Lee took in Taemin into his family as a guardian, a temporary care taker, not his parents and it was in the agreement that Mr.Lee has to return Taemin to the institute when the institute demands it.  So, Mr.Lee has no right to take Taemin back.

Basically, it means Taemin belongs to the institute since the beginning.

I just don’t know what to say or what to think. I just for some reason feel angry and sad; angry that I didn’t know anything about Taemin and sad for Taemin… for everything.  

30^th June 2010

Jonghyun assured me that Teamin will be fine. They said when Taemin’s condition is back to normal, the institute will return Taemin back to Mr.Lee, to his normal life.

I feel a lot relaxed and relieved now. I’m glad that I talked to Jonghyun about this. I wasn’t able to sleep since last night and I kind of screw off my presentations this morning but I feel much better now. I’m really looking forward to the day Taemin was discharged from the institute. He might be mad at me that I didn’t visit him at all, but I think he will forgive me if I buy him a lot of banana milks.

12th July 2010

I went to Onew's engagement party with Jonghyun. It was done moderately; only family and close friends were invited. It was funny to see Onew hyung in a sleek black suit with gold color bow tie, not crumpled t-shirt with long white coat and messy hair. I met his 10-years-relationship girlfriend… or should I say his new fiancé for the first time. Her name was Victoria and she was damn gorgeous. I’m surprised how someone as pretty as her can fall in love with someone as messy as Onew. Well, I guess everyone has their own bright side. She is a Chinese but has been living in Korea since she was small, so she speak Hangul fluently.

They have not decided their marriage date specifically but they agreed to have it next year. Taemin always love weddings, I hope he I could bring him along for Onew’s wedding.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------x-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8th August 2010

This morning, I went to Onew’s office, storming and almost knocked down the door when I slammed it opened. As I was expected, he was startled by my entrance (who wouldn’t?). He looked like he hasn’t gone home for a few days. He seemed to spend the night at the office more frequently since Taemin was taken in. But it didn’t matter to me, I was concerned with another thing; the reason I went to see Onew early in the morning and skipped my class.  

I was furious. I was angry with what I saw yesterday; how they treated Taemin harshly. I tried to control my anger, not to shout at my hyung whom was also my superior. I managed not to shout, but I guess it was shown on my face clearly that I was pissed off. I asked Onew to explain why they hurt Taemin. He told me it wasn’t like what it looked like (typical excuse). He said Taemin is dangerous. How absurd is that? I didn’t believe him, that’s just too ridiculous. How that fragile Taemin can be dangerous to anyone? He can’t even hurt a cat. I was not satisfied with his reply and demand for more explanations but refused to give me any. He told me he couldn’t discuss the details of the project with non-internal Azrael’s team members.

Maybe I was filled up with frustration and wasn’t able to think straight when I asked Onew to make me a part of Azrael’s internal team member. To my surprise, he didn’t object at all. He told me that he will bring up the suggestion to the upper management team and I will be notified later.

Now that I’m more calm, I think Onew might not object because he knew it is impossible for the institute to let inexperience worker like me to join internal teams, and I’m just a student who works several hours just to fill the scholarship agreements. For the first time, I think I’m stupid.

But I really need explanations to what happened yesterday. They can’t hurt Taemin like that.

Because Taemin might cry

And it hurt me whenever Taemin cries

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, another update.... 

I'm sorry, recently updates are becaming harder for me... (_ _) *bows*

in 8th August's journal, "yesterday" refer to 7th August (chapter 21), when Minho met Taemin accidently and the team dragged Taemin away. 

Hopefully, Minho will meet Taemin in the next chapter XD

please wait for mynext update ^^

p/s: I found out many of you misunderstood something, Angel project is the one Key was working with (which most probably will not be mentioned anymore in this story). The project that involves Taemin as subject and Minho as the external worker is Azrael project.