I have a confession to make.

Last time, when I wrote about the last thing that I remembered before waking up in this room… I didn’t write the full story.

That day… what day was it? Was it Thursday? Friday?... I think it was Friday because I was planning for a date during the weekend if ‘things’ went well. I promised to meet Minho at his house after the school for my tutor hours. Minho is very smart that he can teach all subjects. I see Minho at least three times a week for tutor and more just because I want to see him which was almost every day. Minho’s house has become like my second house.

After school ends, I dashed to Minho’s house quickly. I even forgot to tell Kai that I’m not walking home with him that day… I wish he didn’t wait for me. I reached Minho’s house in no time but I didn’t knock the door right away. I was afraid to knock because of what I wanted to tell him. But eventually, Minho opened the door himself even though I didn’t knock… he said he was about to look for me because I was late.  

He invited me in like the usual. He told me to sit down at the table as he was going to take his books, but I grabbed his hand. I told him to stay…. And after that, I told him that I love like love him.

I have liked him since the day that we first met and somehow it has grown into love. This feeling… I’ve tried to bury it deep inside me because I know this love, it will only bring pain. Minho is not a gay and I think I’m not too. It’s just I happened to fall in love with Minho and Minho happen to be a man. I’ve never taken interest in any other male. I only like Minho. However, no matter how much I buried my feeling, it will always sprout on the surface again whenever Minho looks at me, talks to me, smiles at me and touches me. This feeling had grown too big inside my heart that I feel like I was about to explode anytime. Then, I decided to confess. I couldn’t sleep since I made that decision. I was imagining all of the possibilities that will happen. I overjoyed, laughing and crying by myself thinking about them. I know I’m pathetic but what can I do with this kind of feeling?

That day…. After I told Minho that I love him, I think Minho face turned red… but I’m not sure he was blushing or he was mad. I closed my eyes and waited for Minho reply and thinking all kind of thoughts again. Then, I think I felt my back was hot… very hot, like I was being burn. I opened my eyes because of the pain and I saw Minho shocked expression and there was a very bright white light that somehow filled in my vision completely… and that was the real last thing that I could remember.

Why am I telling this now? Because since yesterday… after I was taken out of this room for the first time and I saw a person that resembled Minho a lot, since then, my mind is filled with Minho. I suddenly miss Minho so much. I always missed Minho, but this time, I miss him too much that my tears keep on flowing out. I slept and I dreamt of him. I woke up and I cried again. My eyes felt swollen and puffy, but I can’t stop crying.

When can I see Minho? Could it be that Minho doesn’t want to see me again because I confessed to him?

Minho, do you hate me now?

p/s: I’m sorry this paper is drenched… (TT___TT)

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I won't be able to update for the next few weeks because of assignment

most probably 2-3 weeks (T__T)

but please wait for me =)