As they all sit down to eat dinner, Lu Han’s attention is focused solely on Tao’s phone. Reaching over, he pokes Lay, pointing at Tao’s phone when he has his attention. “Yi Xing. Have you seen my pictures on that?”

“Oh man, ramen again?” someone complains.

“Hey! Kim Jong Dae! I’m busy talking over here!” Lu Han shouts before turning back to Lay again. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, have you seen my pictures on Peach’s phone?”

“Lu Han ge, nobody’s seen your pictures on my phone.” Looking around the table, he points at each person with his chopsticks. “I have pictures of all of you in this bad boy. Keep that in mind next time someone wants to piss me off.”

“Note to self: dedicate rest of my life to stealing Zi Tao’s phone,” Chen mutters out loud, eyeing the phone curiously.

Clicking something to make the screen of his phone light up, Tao holds it out so each member can see. “After Lu Han’s little stunt earlier, I locked it. Don’t know why I never thought of that before actually.” Putting his phone back down on the table, he looks over at Xiu Min with a mouthful of noodles and points at the older man’s bowl. “Are you gonna eat that or can I have it?”

“Pssh. I won’t even share my food with Jong Dae.”

“Really?” Chen asks, a pout on his face. “I’d share mine with you, Bun Bun.” Grabbing a large helping of ramen from his bowl using his fingers, he holds it up to Xiu Min to prove it.

“That’s gross. Did you even wash your hands before we came in here?”

“Of course I washed my hands, Zi Tao. You should worry about yourself though.” Xiu Min munches on the noodles Chen’s holding, the juice from his fingers when he’s finished them. “Hyung~, that tickles.”

“What do you mean I should worry about myself?”

“Lu Han had that big bottle of piss in his room earlier, did he not? It’s not like there’s a sink in his room. Which means the hands he was holding your phone with had all kinds of Lu Han germs on them.”

Tao’s eyes double in size, realizing that Chen’s right. “Gege~, that’s so gross! Oh my god!” Getting up so fast that his chair falls over, Tao rushes over to the sink, phone in hand. Turning the hot water on full blast, Tao puts his phone under it, scrubbing it with all of the force he can muster.

His mouth full of ramen he just stole from Xiu Min’s bowl, Chen tosses a small smile in Lu Han’s direction. “You’re welcome.” With a confused look on his face, Lu Han asks him what he’s talking about. “I just got rid of the pictures on Zi Tao’s phone without even doing anything.”

Turning around, eyes still wide, Tao’s flaring nostrils definitely don’t go unnoticed by the rest of the group. “Yi Fan! Do something!”

“What do you want me to do, Panda Bear? Jong Dae knew your weak spot and you let him attack it. I keep telling you to think first. Wushu may have taught you patience, but it definitely didn’t seem to teach you anything about thinking rationally when angry.”

“Ooh, no you didn’t. Someone, and by someone I mean Kris, is definitely not going to be getting another from Peach tonight!”

Folding his arms up on the table, Kris lays his forehead down on top of them. “Lu Han’s phone is shattered, so who the just called… wait; that wasn’t Chan Yeol. Was that… Jong In? Kim Jong In! Did you really just say that!? And what do you mean another !?”

“You know~. Last night when you were in the bathroom. I heard Peach had his hands all over your junk.”

Tao gets down on his hands and knees, looking under the table to see who’s using their phone. “Yi Xing!? I can’t believe this. I thought you’d be the last person to ever do something like that.”

Looking back and forth between Tao and Kris, a slight blush creeps onto Lay’s cheeks. “I was gonna call Joon Myun hyung and have him calm you down, but Jong In’s name is right before him. I put it on speaker before realizing who was gonna answer.”

“I’ve never been so happy to be someone’s wrong number!”

“Jong In! If you’re looking to join Chan Yeol at the top of my hit list, you just keep on talking,” Tao threatens. A satisfied smile makes its way onto his face when he hears the line cut off. “If only Chan Yeol’s idiot self was as easy to control.”

His attention is drawn back to his phone, still sitting on the counter beside the sink, when he hears it ring once before the sound of the ringer sounds less like a ring and more like the sound something dying. “My poor phone.”

With a pout on his face, he picks his chair back up and sits down to eat his cold ramen. Not even looking at the bowl beforehand, he does when he hears his chopsticks hitting glass and nothing else. His gaze quickly shoots over to Xiu Min, the older man’s cheeks puffed out as he slowly chews. “This obviously isn’t my day.”

Protectively grabbing his bowl of cold noodles, Kris gets up and heads towards their bedroom, grabbing Tao, and Tao’s poor phone, on the way there.

------------

“HUANG! ZI! MOTHER! ING! ! HOLE! TAO!”

“Wow. Did you hear that, duizhang? It was almost like they planned that. They all said almost the exact same thing at the exact same time.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they barge in here soon and shoot you dead where you lie.”

No less than 5 seconds after Kris says that, he can hear them all stampeding through the hallway towards their bedroom. They practically kick the bedroom door off of its hinges when they get to Kris and Tao’s door.

Lu Han, obviously the leader of this pack, speaks up first. “Huang Zi Tao! Why in the hell is there a picture of me my thumb on the internet!?”

“Allow me to explain, dear Lu Han. Last night, I was pondering how I should seek my revenge on you lovely people. I, of course, contemplated the bathroom picture, but decided that would just be rude of me. I mean, you are so much older than me. I must respect my elders. So I decided that, instead of embarrassing you with the bathroom picture that I know would be a bigger hit, I would simply go with the picture of you being cute. And what’s cuter than you lying in bed your thumb as you cuddle the teddy bear that Se Hun bought you? Absolutely nothing! So that, my precious Lu Han, is why there’s a picture of you your thumb on the internet.” Taking a quick break to drink from the water bottle beside the bed, he continues after he swallows. “I’d think you’d be thanking me though; not yelling at me. Just imagine how your popularity will soar now. All over the world, girls will have a picture of you as the wallpaper on their phone, showing you off to every person they meet. Some will even have you as the wallpaper on their computer, sitting there staring at you and wondering why in the world you’re as cute as you are. I’m telling you Lu Han; I did you a big favor.”

“My . I’ll never live that down. Just wait until Chan Yeol sees that! I’ll be hearing about this for months! I just… oh great! That’s probably Chen Yeol calling right now!” Lu Han complains as the landline starts ringing.

Turning his attention over to Xiu Min, he gives him a sad look. “Min Seok ge. You don’t do anything embarrassing, so it was hard to do anything to you. All I had was that picture of you stuffing your face with pretty much everything in sight. You got lucky.”

“Lucky! I’ve never looked so unattractive in my life! My cheeks are all the way out to here!” Xiu Min yells, holding his arms out as wide as he can. “And my nose is all ugly and red because I was sick. And the angle you got me at! Oh god, the angle! It looked like I doubled in size! Doubled, Zi Tao! DOUBLED!”

“Tripled even!” Chen teases.

“Yah! You want to sleep alone!?”

Chen just shakes his head, quietly apologizing. After Xiu Min leaves, Chen shoots a death glare in Tao’s direction. “I cannot, I repeat can not, believe you actually put that picture of me online, Peach. Even Lu Han got better treatment!”

“That’s what you think. But in reality, I just made you the star of Exo-M. Fans may love it when they get even the littlest glance of our stomachs, but can you imagine how ecstatic they’ll be because of the picture I put up of you?”

“That doesn’t even matter! It was my , Zi Tao! My !”

“Oh, stop your whining. It wasn’t your , Jong Dae. It was just a little peek of your .”

“Crack, Zi Tao! Crack! You posted… a picture… of my … crack… online.”

“It isn’t my fault you bent over while going commando!”

“I was out of clean boxers!”

“Not my problem. You should make sure you cover up that pretty little booty next time though. Can you imagine how popular a full shot of your would be?”

Holding his hands up in front of him, he mentally strangles Tao before turning around and running off to find Xiu Min. “Min Seok hyung~. ChenChen needs a hug!”

Lay, being the last one left, just looks at Tao and smiles before heading over to the bed and lying on top of him. “My pretty Peach. I thank you for not doing anything to me.”

Wrapping his arms around Lay, Tao hugs him close. “You’re my Yi Xing. I couldn’t do anything to you! And Joon Myun would probably fly down here just to kill me if I ever did.”

Rolling off of Tao and over onto Kris, he looks up at the leader. “So do you mind explaining how you managed to use the photos from the phone that Tao murdered last night? Please~~?”

“Ugh, fine. But will you get off of me? You’re so heavy.”

Rolling himself off of the bed, Lay stands there looking down at them. After thinking about it for a few seconds he crawls back onto the bed and lies on top of both of them, his upper half on Kris’s legs and his lower half on Tao’s.

------------

Closing their bedroom door behind them, Tao giggles quietly so nobody else can hear him.

“Do you think they believed us, gege?”

Quietly munching on his noodles, Kris nods at the excited young man. “I didn’t know my little Panda Bear could act so well. Even I almost believed you for a second there.”

Reaching into Kris’s pocket, Tao pulls his phone out, turning it over and over in his hands, talking to it like it’s a baby. “I’m so sorry I had to get you a little wet. You were such a good actor though, Phone. So good. Even when I pretended to put you under the water, you made it look so real.” He steals a few of Kris’s noodles before looking through the contacts on his phone, hitting the ‘call’ button before putting it to his ear. “Chan Yeol ah~. As much as I dislike you right now for all of the TaoRis shouts, thank you for sending me that ringtone.”

Making his way over to their bed, Kris sits down and eats a few more noodles, shaking his head in amusement as he watches Tao talk.

“I know, I know. I promised I’d send you the pictures first, and I will. Just don’t show Se Hun yet. I don’t want Lu Han to know until tomorrow.” Walking over and sitting down next to Kris, Tao picks up the last bit of ramen left in the bowl, eating them with a loud slurping noise. “Yes, I remembered to have Yi Xing ‘accidentally’ call Jong In. You mean you weren’t there? … If you were there, then why did you ask me if I remembered!? Argh, stupid. I’ll talk to you tomorrow after Lu Han freaks out. Yeah, yeah, I’ll make sure you call him first and rub it in. Bye Channie~.”

After ending the call, Tao leans against Kris and closes his eyes. “Should we take a nap? I can’t put these pictures online until everybody is asleep.”

“That’s it? ‘Should we take a nap?’ All of that acting I just did with you and I shared my ramen and I don’t even get a little kiss as a reward?”

Smacking Kris’s knee and looking up at him with a smile, Tao quickly kisses the leader’s neck before putting his head back on his shoulder. “Now can we take a nap?”

___________________________________________________________________

A/N: If you've read this far, then you should (hopefully) know that the italics at the end signalled a flashback. If you didn't, now you do. :]

I was actually thinking about starting up on the next fanfic. I know what it's gonna be about; I know who I want in it; I just can't figure out what to call it. T_T
Decided to focus on this tonight instead. Yay! Lol.

@Shilohin - Yay for a new commenter! More angry Tao for you!
@farafim - If you keep Xiu Min, my Chen might be sad. 3
@VitaminBuns - You do need to make a Tumblr! You're just missing out! I love me some Lu Han. It's difficult to imagine as anything but naive. Lol. I try, but then I fail.
@T-exoticblackjack - I'm pretty sure 'ParkChaningYeol' never fails to amuse anybody. Haha.
@starkey - I could easily imagine Chanyeol sitting there reading fanfics about himself. Lol.
@fluffcloud - You daebak reader. <3
@madetofangirl - Tao on a rampage would probably be incredibly cute though. *_*

Hope you enjoyed this update~!
Time for me to go brave the Hell that is my room.
Saw a spider earlier and have been too scared to go back in. Haha.
Yes, I am a 23-year-old man. You hush.