It’s been a week since Kris had his mini-emotional breakdown. Ever since, he’s done all he could do to avoid Tao without making it exceedingly obvious. Whenever Tao’s around, he uses that time to hang out with Chen, who’s fine with being his cover while he figures out how he feels about Tao. Whenever they’re not busy with dance practice and vocal lessons, they can usually be found at the gym. Kris wanting an outlet for the worries he can’t seem to verbally express, and Chen wanting a more defined body. Unfortunately, the daily trips to the gym are only working for one of the two. Chen, running his hands over his stomach as he checks himself out in the locker room mirror, can swears his stomach feels flatter. He turns to share the good news with Kris, only to stop as he sees Kris lightly banging his head on the wall. Chen may be getting the body he wants, but Tao always enters Kris’s thoughts after the workouts.

Half sighing and half grunting, Kris turns to Chen. “This is ing useless.”

Walking over, Chen pats Kris’s back, making him stand up straight. “I’ve already told you. You need to just tell him. Or let me do it. I have no qualms about telling him for you.”

Kris, shaking his head, refuses. “I can do it. I just… I just need to figure out what I want to say and how to say it without sounding like a fool. Maybe a letter. I could write a letter!”

“It sounds more sincere if it comes from your lips, not your handwriting.” Kris nods, feeling that Chen is probably right. Grabbing Kris’s hand, not caring that they haven’t showered yet, Chen pulls Kris behind him. “Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“No talking. You’ll see when we get there.”

“You could at least lighten up the grip on my hand. No need to crush every bone as you drag me along.” Kris lets out a loud sigh of relief as he feels the grip on his wrist being loosened.

Cutting through the park, Chen leads them to the swings, sitting down and motioning for Kris to do the same in the other empty one. “You need to tell Tao. I don’t like seeing you like this. So, you’re going to sit there and pretend I’m Zi Tao, and say everything to me that you wish you could say to him. If you can do it now, I’m sure you can do it when it’s actually him.”

Kris clears his throat, wondering if he should listen to Chen or not. Taking a few deep breaths, he starts, “Panda. I would like to talk to you.”

“What about?”

Kris, startled by the interruption, falls back and off of the swing. “Ugh~, . You could’ve told me you were gonna reply like that, Jong Dae.”

“Wasn’t me, Yi Fan.”

Kris shoots Chen a disbelieving look, wondering if he really thinks he’s that much of an idiot. Chen, pointing behind Kris, shows his proof. Leaning on his arm and turning around to look behind him, he sees Tao standing there, waving at him. Tao can see his lips moving, but only Chen’s close enough to hear as Kris quietly mutters, “Holy .”

Walking over to Kris, who’s still on his back, Tao holds his hands out for him, offering to help him up. “What did you wanna talk to me about, Yi Fan?”

Reaching for Tao’s hands, the butterflies he hasn’t felt in a week suddenly return the instant his skin makes contact with Tao’s. “I… I don’t… remember.” He says it so quietly that Tao almost doesn’t hear, even though he’s standing directly in front of Kris. It’s as if the butterflies flittering around in his stomach have taken away his ability to form words. “Jo-Jong Dae. What did I want to say to Panda?”

Pulling Kris away from Tao’s grasp, he apologizes to Tao. “Just give me a second with Yi Fan. Let me see if I can knock some sense into him.”

Tao slowly nods, his confusion evident on his face, and sits down on the swing that Kris was previously occupying before his fall. “I’ll just be right here then.”

Walking until he thinks he’s out of Tao’s earshot, he grabs onto Kris’s shoulders, squeezing hard enough to get a reaction out of him. Patting his shoulders and pushing him towards Tao, he sends him off with a few sentences of what he hopes will help boost his confidence. “You can do this. If you have to, just pretend you’re talking to me. Just make sure you call him by his name and not mine. That would be awkward. You can do it, duizhang.”

------------

“Hi, Yi Fan ge,” Tao says as Kris sits down on the ground in front of Tao. Noticing that Kris is looking everywhere but him, he gets off of the swing and sits down in front of him. “What is it you wanted to say?” Sitting there staring at Kris as he waits for him to say something, Tao can’t help but find it necessary to comment on the older one’s mouth, which keeps opening and closing. “You know you look like a fish right now. It can’t be that bad. Just spit it out and you’ll feel all better.” Reaching over towards Kris, he puts his hands on Kris’s knees, hoping to both calm him down and stop the nervous twitch. “Whatever it is, you’ll be okay.”

Slowly, knowing he could be making a huge mistake right now, he reaches forward and places his hands on top of Tao’s. Curious to see Tao’s reaction, he angles his head up slightly, looking at Tao from beneath the hair hanging over his eyes, then quickly looks back down. Gently grabbing Tao’s hands, he turns them over, palms up, then puts his hands on top of Tao’s again. And again, he quickly glances at Tao, trying desperately to figure out what he’s thinking simply by looking at him. If there’s one thing he’s always hated about Tao, it’s the fact that he can mask his thoughts and emotions with ease, only letting you in when he feels it’s convenient for him. Giving up on trying to read Tao’s face, he finally tries talking. “I suppose I’ll just start from the end and work back.” Clearing his throat, probably more times than really necessary, he continues. “I’ve been avoiding you this week.”

“I know.” Surprised, Kris quickly looks up. “I’m not an idiot, Yi Fan. I’ve spent years learning how to read people. I was always taught to live life like I’m playing chess; always think 4 moves ahead.”

Kris just nods, slightly embarrassed at being caught so easily by the one person he didn’t want to be caught by. He decides to just keep looking down, somewhat afraid of what else Tao might know. Taking his hands away from Tao’s, he instead puts them in his pockets. He doesn’t want Tao to feel, or see, how badly he’s suddenly shaking. He’s never been so nervous before. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all week. Every time I do think about you, my pulse speeds up, my heart pounds so hard that I’m afraid you’ll hear it if I’m too close to you, my stomach feels like it’s suddenly home to a family of pterodactyls, and I know… I just ing know I’d have to have myself physically restrained around you because every time I see you all I can think is, ‘I want – I need – to kiss you again.’ And I can’t ing stand it! I can’t stand that it’s like I’m powerless when it comes to you. I can’t stand that you’re the only person on my mind. I can’t stand that I lose myself when it comes to you. And I can’t stand -” the next sentence seems to get caught in his throat, unable to voice it because he’s suddenly crying. He wonders when that happened. He was so busy talking as fast as he was, trying to make sure he could finish before Tao interrupted, that he never noticed the tears that had been forming in his eyes. He knows he must look like a complete idiot right now, but he forces the sobs in his throat away so he can finish his last sentence. He wants so badly to finish. “And I can’t stand that, even when you’re with me, you’re not with me.”

He knows he should feel better now that he’s gotten that off of his chest, but he doesn’t. He’s too busy feeling sorry for himself, knowing that he’s just sitting there bawling as Tao watches him lose control of his emotions. The only thing that manages to finally stop his onslaught of tears, and the sobs, is when he finally feels Tao wrapping his arms around him, pulling him into the hug they both know Kris has been waiting a week for.

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A/N: -Stretches-
I should really try to stop writing at night. I feel bad that by the time I'm finished writing each chapter, I'm so sleepy that I don't even want to bother reading it over for typos and grammar errors. So, once again, I'll ask you to tell me if you notice any. Thank you. :]

I apologize for not replying to comments in the comment box anymore. I feel like it's gotten to a point in the story where, just by replying, I'd somehow give away what's happening next. xD  So I'll reply to them at the end of this. :]

Almost at 100 subscribers! I'm doing a happy dance in my chair right now. I seriously never thought I'd even pass 10.
As usual, feel free to add me here if you have a Tumblr. ^_^

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
I had to take a little break as I wrote Kris's confession, because I actually found myself choking up. Putting myself in his shoes as I write can be both good and bad because of that.

Okay, then. To the comments!
@vanndee13 - I'm glad you like this Taoris. :]
@VitaminBuns - He has, indeed, realised his feelings! :]
@siahna - Hopefully, after this chapter (or at least because of this chapter), you'll be more happy than sad. Lol.

Now then. I have a few of my own subscriptions to catch up on before I sleep.