Staring into the night sky has always been a habit of mine, especially when I needed to calm my nerves, or to think- most of the music I wrote happened while sitting on the rooftop with my guitar, a cup of tea, and my thoughts. How I wished I was sitting on the rooftop, instead of sitting in the dark of this narrow stairwell, with only a sliver of the night sky seen through the window and just steps from so many people that I’d rather not see.

That’s a lie… there was only one person I’d rather not see right now… pabo, Amber…

I sighed. I couldn’t even lie to myself… I was scared to face Minho. I had put on a brave face and sat through the press conference and most of the DVD showing without any problems. But once I saw myself in that red dress again… hearing all those whispered comments… knowing that one scene would be coming… my heart couldn’t take it. I apologized quickly to Hyoyeon and Victoria and ran out of the amphitheater. Luckily, I was able to head out of the dark room undetected.

I leaned against the railing and curled my knees to my chest and tried to calm myself down. Breathe, Amber… you’ll be fine. You are stronger then this… I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

I’m not sure how much time had passed… but I was sure by now the DVD had finished and everyone had moved on to the small after-party. I shook my head at the thought of returning to the party. I sighed at how much of a coward I was being…

“Amber!” I heard someone shout. I opened my eyes to see Hyoyeon rush to me.

“Gwaenchanha?” she asked, putting an arm around me and sat down next to me. I nodded. “What are you doing out here? Everyone’s been looking for you. Why haven’t you answered your hand phone?”

“Mianhe, unnie. I don’t have my hand phone- I left it in the van. And… I just needed some time alone.”

Hyoyeon took her phone out of her handbag and started dialing. “Victoria? Ne… I’m with Amber… she went outside for some air… Ne, she’s alright... We’ll be in soon... I’ll take care of her… It’s alright Victoria, you be umma and take care of the other girls,” she laughed and hung up her phone.

I looked up at Hyoyeon and felt tears burn my eyes. “Mianhe, unnie… and gamsahabnida for always taking care of me.”

She patted my back and sighed. “It’s hard for you right now, isn’t it Amber?” I nodded. “I know you are a strong person, so feeling this way makes you feel bad, huh?”

“Ne, unnie… I’ve never felt this weak before… never this lost. I can’t keep hiding, or running away. I’ve never ran or hid from anything before… but it’s the only way to stop myself from falling apart.”

Hyoyeon just kept patting my back, nodded but stayed silent. “Amber-ah?”

“Ne, unnie?”

“Even after all of this… do you still love Minho?” she asked.

I looked up at her and felt the tears fall. I sniffled and wished I could deny it, but I could only nod. Hyoyeon pulled me into a hug and let me cry.

“I’m a fool, aren’t I unnie?” I quietly asked.

Hyoyeon pulled away from me and lifted my chin so I could look up at her. “Why are you a fool, Amber-ah? Because you love someone?” She scoffed.

“It’s not the being in love with someone… it’s who I’m in love with… and who I am.” I sighed.

“Explain, Amber… so I understand,” she said raising both her eyebrows.

“Minho is smart, funny… talented and thoughtful, caring… he’s handsome, athletic… and understands me more than most people. But me… I’m not pretty or feminine… neither am I very smart or talented… average in everything. I work hard and do as well as I can, but… Minho deserves more than that… more than average,” I answered.

Hyoyeon’s mouth opened then closed… then she wacked me in the arm. “Yah! Amber… now that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say. If this is what being in love with Minho makes you feel about yourself, I’m going to shoot Minho. Because you are talented and smart… and Amber… just because you don’t look like other girls; it doesn’t make you any less pretty. Some girls are just not meant to be Barbie dolls… it doesn’t make us any less of a girl.”

I leaned into her again, hugged her, and cried again. “But unnie… it still hurts… I don’t want to be in love if this is how it feels.”

She patted my back and said, “I know what you mean Amber-ah… but everything will work out the way it’s supposed to… stay strong and you’ll be ok. You have all of us here for you, ok?”

“Ne unnie… gamsahabnida… you always know what to say, and always seem to be there whenever I need you. I appreciate it.”

She pulled away and looked at my face again. “Of course Amber… I promise I’ll always be there for you.” I smiled at hearing her promise that.

“But aigoo… look at your face! All that crying… there’s not enough makeup to hide that you’ve been crying. Let me call Victoria and Taeyeon and let them know I’m taking you home, k?”

“Aniyo, unnie… you’ll miss out on the party,” I said trying to stop her.

“Amber-ah… you’re more important than a silly party. We see everyone here all the time anyways,” she answered me and laughed. I could only smile and nod.

Minho POV

Once the lights came on, I turned to look at Donghae and he nodded- we headed out to find Amber together. As we reached the doorway out of the amphitheater, Hyoyeon stopped us.

“Oppa, Minho… Amber hasn’t come back. It’s starting to worry Victoria, but I told her I’d find you two and the three of us would look for her,” she said worriedly.

“Ne, Hyo… she needs to be here for the other girls. Let’s go find her,” Donghae said and the three of us walked through the doorway. Donghae divided us to search- Hyoyeon would take wing near the theater entrance, I would take the waiting room, press conference room, and meeting rooms behind the stage, while he would take the remaining wing, connecting to the theater and music buildings.

I headed to the rooms we had been in, but didn’t see her. I started searching all the meeting rooms, and other various rooms but there was no sign of her. Once I made it back to the front of the entrance, I saw Donghae and ran over to him.

“No luck either?” he asked me. I could just shake my head. “Maybe Hyo has found her, let’s go.”

We checked the hallway, but this wing had mostly locked offices so we were about to give up but noticed the exit sign at the end of the hallway and headed towards there. We walked out into darkness and almost turned around when we heard voices.

“Amber-ah?” Hyoyeon asked.

“Ne, unnie?” Amber replied.

As I heard Hyoyeon and Amber speak, I started to walk towards them, but Donghae held my arm, put a finger to his mouth and made me stand there.

 “Even after all of this… do you still love Minho?” Hyoyeon asked.

I felt my heart stop- I looked at Donghae and he put his finger to his mouth again. My pulse was racing… why wasn’t she answering?

 “I’m a fool, aren’t I unnie?” I heard Amber ask.

“Why are you a fool, Amber-ah? Because you love someone?” She scoffed.

“It’s not the being in love with someone… it’s who I’m in love with… and who I am.” Amber answered and sighed.

“Explain, Amber… so I understand,” Hyoyeon said.

“Minho is smart, funny… talented and thoughtful, caring… he’s handsome, athletic… and understands me more than most people. But me… I’m not pretty or feminine… neither am I very smart or talented… average in everything. I work hard and do as well as I can, but… Minho deserves more than that… more than average,” Amber explained.

I started to walk towards them again, but Donghae pulled on my arm and shook his head at me. I was shaking with my mixed emotions… she loved me? She thinks I don’t deserve her? How could she think that way? I mentally groaned and gritted my teeth.

“Yah! Amber… now that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say. If this is what being in love with Minho makes you feel about yourself, I’m going to shoot Minho. Because you are talented and smart… and Amber… just because you don’t look like other girls; it doesn’t make you any less pretty. Some girls are just not meant to be Barbie dolls… it doesn’t make us any less of a girl.”

I silently thanked Hyoyeon for saying those words to Amber.

“But unnie… it still hurts… I don’t want to be in love if this is how it feels.”

I shook my head at hearing her words, but Donghae took a hold of my arm and led me out back into the hallway, once hearing them make plans to leave. I tried to go back to where they were, but Donghae stopped me again. “That’s more than enough for you to hear, Minho.”

We started walking back to where the others were. “The question is… what are you going to do now?”

I looked at him and wondered the same thing...

[A/N Finally... Minho knows how she feels about him, maybe now he can grow a pair and tell her- that's if she can grow a pair and stop running.. lol.. i know, i shouldnt be saying these things, especially since i'm the one writing it this way ^^ I hope you all enjoyed. I hope to be able to update again tonight... but I'm enjoying my lazy Sunday. :))]

@ch1k3r ~ Shoot.. ANY and MORE of minber interactions needed/wanted... anywhere and everywhere... lol <3

@TwistedIllusions ~ got it... they'll talk soon.. promise! lol and oOoOohh... update! update! <3

@CassidyIsHere ~ Oooh.. I can imagine little Minho/Amber's running around... it'd be such a cute family! ^^ <3

@vip_love ~ Dont'cha just love Donghae? Gosh, I want an older brother like him... no fair that I just have two annoying younger ones.. lol <3

@DayDreamer_ ~ squealing's a good reaction... lol... oh the emotional rollercoaster love can bring.. pfft.. kekkee <3

@blindstar ~ thank you for being so vocal and encouraging... hope you liked this chapter too? <3

@YuuYuu ~ lol... you hate my cliffhangers, don't ya? :P Makes it more fun, though, don't it? lol <3