It has been two days since I talked to Donghae and I no longer hid myself away- but I had not talked to Minho yet. He had been very busy with preparing for SHINee’s comeback- and I know I should make more of an effort to see and talk to him, but I was still too scared to seek him out. However, knowing I would be seeing him in a few days when all of the SM artists would be attending the private screening of SM Entertainment’s collaborative DVD, I knew I needed to talk to him soon- it would be the only way I’d be able to survive that night with him around.

So here I was, in one of the empty practice rooms debating about whether or not to send him a text to meet up. After ten minutes of continuous arguing with myself, I took a deep breath and sent him a text.

9:04pm SMS Message To: *Minho Oppa* ~ Are you available to talk? I’m at the SM offices and would like to meet up.

After I sent off the text, I couldn’t help but still hope he’d be too busy to see the message or to meet up… that this whole confrontation could be pushed back another day.

The beep signaling an incoming SMS message just made me sigh.

9:06pm SMS Message From: *Minho Oppa* ~ Hi Amber. We’ll be on break for dinner in half an hour. Want to meet somewhere?

I could feel myself shake with nerves. You can do it, Amber… just stay strong!

9:07pm SMS Message To: *Minho Oppa* ~ Ne, I’ll be waiting in one of the practice rooms.

The half an hour had not been enough time to call in an order for food, run to pick it up, and run back- but I knew how tired and hungry he would be, so I made an effort to get something for him, especially since he’d be giving up his break time to meet up with me. I glanced at my watch and saw how I late I was- I mentally groaned and cursed myself for being late. After finally gaining the courage to meet him, I didn’t want him to think I had stood him up.

After looking in three different practice rooms, I finally found Minho in the empty f(x) practice room. I sighed, attempted to settle my nerves and quietly walked into the room.

I stopped short and frowned at the sight of him sitting there on the floor, eyes closed- he looked pale and so tired. If I had anything to do with why you’re so tired, mianhae, Minho. I’m sorry this foolishness happened when you should be focusing on SHINee’s comeback.

As I walked more into the room, he opened his eyes, quickly stood up and walked over to me. Before I could say anything, he pulled me into his arms and hugged me.

Minho POV

As soon as the SHINee members were told it was time for a break, I ran out looking for Amber. I had missed her so much and had almost resigned myself to having her cut me out of her life- so as soon as I saw the SMS message from her; I had to physically restrain myself from leaving right then and there to meet her.

But after checking almost all the practice rooms with no sign of her, I started to think it had all been a cruel figment of my tired and crazy imagination. I no longer felt hungry and didn’t feel like returning to where the other SHINee members would be-I just wanted to be alone. I headed to the one place that would be the closest to Amber that I could think of- the f(x) practice room.

I took out my phone; but debated to check if I had really received a text from Amber- I didn’t want to confirm that I was indeed going crazy. Pabo, you’re already crazy… I sighed, slowly sat down, and closed my eyes- might as well rest a little before returning to the craziness of practicing.

I had been sitting there a few minutes, before thinking that I heard footsteps… when they stopped shortly after, I resolved them to be another part of my imagination. How much time do I have left? I opened my eyes to check the time, when I caught sight of Amber by the doorway.

I quickly stood up and walked over to her. She stood there, quietly just looking at me- I hadn’t been imagining things… she’s here… she’s really here. Before she could say anything, I pulled her into my arms and hugged her.

“M-Minho…” she softly gasped out.

I hugged her tighter. “Shh…” I cooed. I had missed her so much… she was the most beautiful sight I’d seen in days, and it felt so good to have her with me again. “I’ve missed you more than you can imagine… just let me hold you a little longer, Amber… please.”

I held my breath and waited for her to pull away, or tell me to stop. I had not expected to be allowed to just hug her- I honestly didn’t know what to expect.

After a few minutes, Amber gently pushed my arms away. “Minho… I have food. You need to eat before you have to go back to practice.”

“Food?” I asked. I hadn’t expected her to have food either.

She laughed, and I felt my heart stutter. I had missed hearing her… seeing her… and just spending time with her…

“Yes, pabo… that’s why I’m a little late- I ran to pick up some Chinese food,” she said showing me the bag of food she had in her hand. She had us sit down again and started taking out all the food she had brought. I could only smile and watch her- she looked up at me and quickly looked away.

A million thoughts were running through my mind, but I didn’t want to ruin anything by telling her my feelings yet- so I remained quiet. I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t a little awkward, but yet neither of us spoke- just quietly ate. A few weeks ago, and it would have been a comfortable silence… but with the heaviness in my heart, and lack of courage to tell her my feelings and find her not to have her feel the same, made my tongue silent.

“Minho…“

“Ne, Amber-ah, “ I said. I looked at her and waited for her to continue.

“We’re best friends, right?” she asked, looking up at me.

I hadn’t expected that question. “Ne, Amber… best friends,” I answered smiling.

“So, let’s forget about what happened the other week, and go back to how we were… I hate this awkwardness,” she said quickly, looking back down and picking at the rest of her food.

Forget it happened? No, Amber… I can’t forget it… don’t make me forget it…

“Why, Amber?”

She looked back up at me. “What do you mean why, Minho? I’m not sure why it got me so embarrassed anyways… It was for work… and done to protect my identity-which I’m grateful for- so… let’s forget the awkwardness and go back to how we were.” She put down her fork, and leaned against the mirror and closed her eyes.

“Amber… “ I started to say, but didn’t know how to share all that was in jumbled in my head. “Were you embarrassed to have kissed me?”

Her eyes opened at my question. “No… yes… Oh, I don’t know, Minho. I just know that afterwards, it made things awkward between us. And I hate that- I’ve missed you so much, and just want my best friend back, ok?”

I could feel my heart aching- I guess she only saw me as a best friend and nothing more. I must have embarrassed her by kissing her- how foolish I was to have fallen in love with her… I shook my head at her. I couldn’t return to just being her friend… she can’t make me forget the feelings I have for her- this was absurd! I could feel myself getting sad… and angry…

I stood up and walked away- I needed to cool down. I didn’t want to say or do anything that I would regret again. I made it almost to the door, but turned around and walked back to her.

“No, Amber. I don’t want to stay best friends with you.” I put my hands on her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. 

[A/N I'm not completely happy with how this chapter turned out- there's too much confusion, but that's the thing about love sometimes... it's not easy and plain confusing. I'll try to make things clearer next chapter, promise! Too tired to respond to individual comments...but know I'm grateful to read 'em all. <3]