It was now or never; there were only two days left until the Talent Show and I knew I just knew I had to talk to Donghae about this whole ‘couples’ thing before things got too serious between us. Sungmin had encouraged me to keep it hidden from the outside world as to not upset our fanbase when we get one and to keep things simpler to handle. I personally did not like this idea and was against it. I finally liked someone, I finally had someone who liked me back; I didn’t care that he was male and so was I. A relationship is a relationship no matter the genders involved.

So here I was—waiting for Donghae to get out of class on this Thursday afternoon. The Talent show was going to be Saturday night and it was not going to be held at the school but rather in a theater-like place in downtown Seoul. People were saying that members from random entertainments were going to be there to spot any good talent for their company and that was what we were looking for. This was my chance this was our chance this was the only time Super Junior could shine.

I peered inside the classroom to see where he was and noticed him packing his bag and taking to a classmate, most likely about a homework assignment or something in class. I waited patiently for him to stop talking and leave the classroom, and when he did I tapped him on the shoulder to catch his attention which allowed him to notice my presence.

“Oh! Hyukkie!” He exclaimed and went to give me a hug, I hugged back nervously as people around us stared at us and maybe I didn’t notice the stares before but definitely I was noticing them now. I had to tell Donghae about this I just had to—I wasn’t trying to look like I didn’t want his affection…I just didn’t want to publicly share it with everyone else. That was okay…right?

“Hey Donghae listen I have something we need to discuss so mind skipping practice and hanging out with me instead?” I asked not exactly wanting to tell him in front of the entire hallway—that wouldn’t really help the case of keeping this hidden now would it?

“But the Talent show is Saturday shouldn’t we be practicing even harder now?” Donghae asked, normally he wouldn’t even think to reject me and actually I wasn’t expecting him to either.

“We’ve practiced Bonamana multiple times and we have everything memorized I think we can spend one afternoon away from the dance studio don’t you think?” I have to get him wanting to go with me if I didn’t tell him now I don’t think I could ever tell him that he pretty much had to back off of me in public.

Believe me when I say that this was the hardest decision of my life. It was like we were going back to how we were before—back when I ignored him and he continued to shower me with affection that at the time I did not care for. I didn’t want to go back to that, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I didn’t want to hurt the band either and that was also at stake here. I didn’t want Super Junior to fall just because of a silly relationship between Donghae and me.

“I guess you’re right, but I still feel bad about leaving the other members. I promised Yesung I’d practice with him today and I still want to make sure my rose trick is perfect for the performance.” Donghae continued to look uneasy as the hallway continued to lose students and soon enough there were barely anyone else around except for us. I had to convince him, I just had to!

“Yesung is perfect I’ve heard him practice and he has absolutely no flaws in his singing or his dancing you don’t have to worry about skipping out on one session. We still have tomorrow and even the entirety of Saturday to practice the final bits. Please Donghae…for me?” I continued on with my persuading even using a sweeter voice for the final part of my sentence hoping he’d crack and want to go with me instead.

Donghae seemed nervous; he glanced around the hallway multiple times and even scratched the back of his head unsure of what to do. He was muttering to himself, things like ‘what about Yesung’ and ‘I want this performance to be perfect’. I looked around the hallway and noticed we were the only ones now and the clock above us read 4:00. We’ve been here for an entire thirty minutes just trying to figure out what to do.

“I just don’t know—“ He was cut off by my lips as I crashed them into his making sure he knew he couldn’t win this battle I can’t let him win not even I needed to talk to him. No one was around this was perfectly fine to do, right? Who cares if we’re caught on camera we’ve done this before in school so they’ve already seen it and I doubt the security guards care enough to stop it.

He tensed up against my body but slowly he relaxed, snuck his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him and up against the nearby wall. He took control over the kiss this time and deepened it with as much passion as he could muster up. When he finally let go and we caught our breath he looked at me and sighed, “Fine we’ll hang out together.”

YES! I won the battle and even got a hot passionate kiss too! This was it I had to tell him about my decision today! But don’t you worry just because we can’t publicly show affection doesn’t mean we’ll stop entirely, it just meant we would have more time alone and away from the public eye and don’t you agree that alone is much better anyways?

Now it was time to find the perfect place in Seoul to tell him about my decision where there were few people and the perfect opportunity. I had plenty of time to think as I waited outside of Donghae’s dorm room for him to get changed, I had already changed a little beforehand and told Sungmin my plans for the day he agreed with me completely and showed his complete and total support.

Would the park be the best place? Maybe while walking down a not busy street, a small restaurant? I thought about all the choices but decided that maybe in public wasn’t the best place to actually discuss this, maybe right where we were was the best place.

I turned to look at his closed door and knocked on it loudly enough for him to definitely hear me from the inside. When he opened the door he had on a pair of loose shorts and when I looked up I realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt. I couldn’t help but look at his chest and stomach and I was almost at a loose of words until I finally heard, “What is it?”

“Can I come in?” I asked weakly keeping my eyes on his chest and definitely not at his face. He definitely had to have noticed because I felt his smirk as he stepped out of the way and led me into his room.

This was the first time I’ve ever been in his room and from the looks of it it had the same structure as Sungmin and my room except for the added touches of posters and personal things on the walls.

“Couldn’t wait for me, huh?” He asked bringing my attention back to him and his shirtless self. Why couldn’t he just put a single shirt on? Did he want to test my abilities at staying off of him?

“I just thought that the thing I needed to talk to you about was better said in private then in public.” I nervously said trying to keep my eyes away from him and towards a random thing on the wall.

“Well what is it?” He asked sitting on his bed and patting it as if telling me to sit next to him. I took him up on his silent offer and sat next to him and turned to face him and boy was it hard to stare only at his face.

“I was talking to Sungmin about this and well he told me that our relationship well we need to keep it secret. I don’t want to stop dating you; I just don’t want Super Junior to fail because of what we have. We can ruin our fanbase so easily if we tell people about us and I don’t want the rest of the members to lose fame because of our silly actions. We can easily just continue on without having to make a big deal in public about this—“ I was in the middle of explaining the situation the best way I could before Donghae leaned closer to me causing me to stop midsentence and look at his adoring face before slowly closing my eyes and allowing him to close the distance between our lips.

At first the kiss was sweet and gentle, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him on the bed almost onto his lap. I reacted by running my fingers through his hair and leaning more into the kiss. Then Donghae surprised me by pulling me vertically on the bed and sitting on top of me before placing his lips right back on mine and deepening the kiss even further by biting my bottom lip as if forcefully asking for permission into my mouth. I gasped slightly and he took charge by sticking his tongue into my mouth and I barely had time to counterattack but I held my ground for a good thirty seconds before I let him win and he continued to roam my mouth until he was satisfied and pulled away from me with a huge smirk on his lips.

“So you want to keep me a secret from everyone?” He asked with that same smug look—I didn’t know whether that smirk was ier than his shirtless self and I had a hard time focusing on one or the other.

“That’s the plan.” I responded after what seemed like an eternity while my eyes still stared directly on his chest. He was making things a lot harder than they needed to be—and I’m being quite literal too.

“What if someone flirts with you, can I still tell him to back off?” He moved down to my ear to whisper that in my ear before nibbling slightly on it and pulling away.

“If we get accepted into an entertainment as trainees we wouldn’t have to worry about relationships because we won’t be allowed to have those—but our’s can be a secret.” I tried to remain calm and keep a y tone in hopes of him accepting the terms but his smirk just showed that he was winning this battle.

“I’ll make a deal with you then.” Donghae then stated, getting off of me and sitting back on the edge of the bed. “First you cannot flirt with anyone but me, I am the only person you’ll have eyes for and you will make time to hang out with me so we can do things secretly without the public knowing. If we don’t get accepted into an entertainment you have to announce to the whole school that we’re together and we’re not going to break up anytime soon.” His smirk was gone and he looked completely serious as I sat up and resumed my spot next to him. He really cared about me didn’t he? I bet this deal was going to be hard for him since he always seemed so open with his feelings and attraction towards me.

Why did I not notice this sooner? “Deal.” I agreed and took out my hand to shake his to finalize the deal. He took my hand and shook it firmly. That was that, if we get in we’re a secret couple, if we don’t make it then the whole school will know about us.

Sounds like a good deal to me.