Time seemed to have slowed down once it hit Friday morning and the whole time I was staring at the clock in each of my classes not even bothering to actually pay attention to what the teacher was saying. Spring break homework? I’ll ask Sungmin about it later. Exam material? I’ll ask Sungmin about it later. The only thing on my mind was tomorrow night and the chance to make it or break it in the entertainment world. If we got accepted it meant becoming a trainee for an entertainment and focusing on both training and school and also focusing on my secret relationship with Donghae. If we didn’t get accepted it meant only focusing on school, having a boring life and having to proclaim to the entire school that I’m gay and dating Lee Donghae.

To be honest I’d choose the first one way before the second one.

The bell then suddenly rang and my hopes were crashed when I realized it was only time for lunch. I gathered my things and put them in my backpack before waiting for Sungmin to finish up with his notes and doing the same. When he was all packed up we headed for the lunch room and instantly went in line. Today I decided on just some noodles since I really wasn’t in the mood to eat and at least it was something I could eat without too much work. Once we got our food we sat at our table and waited for everyone else to show up.

First Ryeowook, second Kyuhyun sitting next to Sungmin, then Yesung sitting one seat away from me and Donghae filling that seat to sit in between the two of us. Leeteuk, Hangeng, and Heechul were already gone for the day because they didn’t need to be here for the day giving them an extra day off and an extra day to practice, but knowing Heechul he probably was off flirting with some girl at a nearby street. Shindong, Kangin and Kibum soon filled up the rest of the table and soon enough the whole table was chatting up a storm about tomorrow. Things ranged from being nervous to being excited to being not ready to yelling that the day should be here already.

I, on the other hand, remained silent and continued to eat my noodles without much talking. I could only think about how close Donghae was to me and how close his hand was to mine. I could remember our meeting yesterday and the heated kiss we shared between each other. I got nothing done that night and ended up whining to Sungmin to help me with my final homework assignments before the end of the night. He wasn’t too happy with me since he’s been chatting with his girlfriend a lot recently most likely because she was planning to visit him next week for Spring Break.

“Hey Hyukkie you seem out of it, did you get enough sleep last night, or were you too busy thinking about me?” Donghae teased almost seeming concerned at first but the smirk on his lips showed that he was also thinking about what had happened yesterday. It wasn’t my fault he decided to kiss me while being shirtless on his bed!

“Shut up.” I blushed and looked away. “It’s none of your business.” I muttered trying to scoot away from him but he grabbed my hand and moved me closer to him.

“It’ll always be my business Hyukkie because you’re mine now.” He whispered in my ear causing me to blush a deep shade of red and stutter out incoherent words before stopping and sighing knowing I was not going to reason with him.

I could hear Sungmin chuckling in the background and I went to glare at him but I stopped when I noticed the distant look in his eyes. There was definitely something up with him and I could not figure it out at all. Maybe he’ll be better once spring break hits and he can see his girlfriend in person—which is still a bad idea in my opinion.

And soon after everything died down the bell rang and we headed our separate ways to our next classes as all of us waited for the day to end and for Saturday to be upon us. The talent show was on everyone’s mind whether they wanted it to be or not. We had one more day of practice and one more meeting as a group before the performance. Were we going to be noticed? We sure as hell wanted to be.

Time was finally on my side the second the bell rang to end classes Sungmin and I headed straight for our dorm room to get our homework done before practicing. We had practice as a whole group and one last meeting that we hoped would inspire all of us so much that we’ll do amazing for the performance. I could hardly concentrate on homework as the clock seemed to go by quicker than usual. Sungmin seemed less concerned and focused on the paper in front of him until he finished and looked at me knowing that I was going to need help. Once I become a professional dancer I won’t need stupid homework and I won’t need to worry about school as much. No one expected a Korean pop idol to be smart, they expected them to sing/rap and dance—that I can do.

“Look usually I have you figure it out yourself but with the talent show tomorrow I’ll just help you by doing the work for you to see.” Sungmin sighed and took a random piece of paper and started doing my work as I quickly wrote down what was on his paper on mine. To be honest with the way Sungmin was writing it I actually understood it and ended up learning a thing or two by the time he finished up. We both put our things away got changed and headed out for the dance studio to meet up with the rest of Super Junior. Leeteuk said to meet up at exactly five and if we hurried we’d get there at that exact time.

When we arrived about four of the thirteen were there, the two of us making it half the members. I noticed Leeteuk and Heechul right away talking to each other in a corner of the room while Yesung and Donghae were talking and sipping at some water from their water bottles. The second Donghae noticed me he instantly dropped his conversation with Yesung and walked over to me, grabbed my hand and dragged me over to get me a water bottle of my own.

“You excited for tomorrow?” He asked with a goofy grin plastered on his face. Anyone could tell he was nervous, or maybe only I could.

“Yeah this is our final chance to prove we’re an amazing group. We’re going to knock them dead and take first prize for sure!” I exclaimed pumping my fist into the air in hopes of taking some of Donghae’s nervousness away from him. It seemed to have worked because he laughed and pumped his fist into the air alongside me.

“Fighting!” He shouted and smiled at me. “Thank you Hyukkie you really know how to cheer me up.” He leaned forward and stopped only inches from my face. I lit up a bright red and gulped really loud unsure of what to do. He just smirked and kissed me on the cheek before pulling away.

“Okay everyone gather around!” Leeteuk yelled and I looked around and realized everyone was here and ready to start the last practice and meeting. “Tomorrow is our big day and we’re going to try our damned hardest to get first place and a chance to become trainees under an entertainment. This is our chance to shine and show the world Super Junior!” Everyone cheered and once the cheering died out he continued. “We’re going to practice as a group tonight and go over all the arrangements for the performance. Not a single one of you should mess up after all the practicing we’ve gone through.”

Once everyone agreed it was time to get started on our practice; it took us about thirty minutes to get us situated in our spots and memorized how far away we were from each other and how close we had to be to the stage as well. When we were all ready we practiced the dance and song a total of five times while stopping multiple times when someone would bump into another, mess up a lyric, or even move their foot in the wrong direction. By the time Sungmin and I got back to our room it was eleven at night and we still had practice in the morning until late afternoon the next day.

The talent show was going to start at six o’clock sharp and we were the fifth performance out of a total of fifteen people. That might not seem like a lot but this talent show isn’t really only for the school it is a free-for-all for anyone and everyone and only the most talented even get a spot. We performed Sorry Sorry when we auditioned for a spot and we got in without much problem, but we were unsure of who else got in and how they got it as well. It ranged from magic tricks to singing solo to dancing and singing as a group. We weren’t the only band in the show and we all knew it. We had competition and we knew we just had to win.

It was around two when we finally finished the final practice and Leeteuk even offered to take us all out to eat and to regain our strength. In the end I helped pay for some meals and he was grateful to have a friend like me to help him out when he knew he didn’t have enough to support Shindong’s stomach. We hung around as a group for the rest of the day mostly taking the day off to give us some strength back for the real performance. Some seemed nervous but most of us seemed excited and couldn’t help but watch the clock slowly tick by as we all waited for the show to start.

“Do you think we’ll do fine?” Ryeowook asked me suddenly as the time was nearly six and we were all heading towards the theater where it was going to be held at.

“We’re all going to do fantastic, just don’t get too nervous and pretend like it’s another practice. You have an amazing voice, you’ll do just fine.” I reassured him and he seemed glad by my answer and moved on to talk to someone else. In our band we had a lot of main vocals that we relied on way too much—those vocals being Kyuhyun, Yesung and Ryeowook. I’m not trying to say the others are bad but those three were amazing when it came to singing and even they knew it to be true. Shindong and I mostly covered the rap parts while the rest of the band splits up between the better singers to the ones who mostly do the dancing. In Bonamana not all of us have a chance to sing, but we do all have an amazing dance for it which is the reason for choosing it.

Not much talking happened after that as we walked towards our destination and sighed in our band name before sitting back in the back stage while waiting for the other performances to start. Once the talent show officially started everyone was quiet as the first few performances came out. Some were simple things like as I said before magic tricks; one even had a puppet who talked for the person. There was not even a single singing act until the called us out and shocked us making us think we’re the only ones like this.

We all moved to our exact spots on the stage and waited until the music started playing. We all started perfectly without a single flaw, we all sung together in the beginning part until it was Siwon’s turn to take the stage as the solo singer in the beginning, he clapped hands with Heechul and he was up next. I tried not to pay attention to the others as I continued to dance only singing backup when it was all of us as a group. Kyuhyun sung his part and Yesung did fantastic. When Ryeowook sung I knew he did well and Sungmin held his ground after him and sang his part on a perfect key. I once again focused on my dancing until Donghae’s part came up and almost lost my footing just watching him sing and do his rose trick perfectly. How could I have not noticed how amazing he looked before when he did this exact same part? I marveled at his actions a bit too much and almost lost where I was until I heard Leeteuk sing his part knowing that I was coming up soon after Heechul. I caught up with myself just in time to nail my part perfectly and felt relieved to know that I didn’t mess up the performance. Now all I really had to do was focus on backup singing and dancing which wasn’t too hard to do at all. When our song ended we all bowed to the crowd and waved goodbye as they clapped and cheered for us. It felt so right to hear the cheering, it was like music to my ears and I just couldn’t get enough of it.

The second we reached the back stage all of us cheered and hugged each other in almost tears. Leeteuk congratulated us on such a wonderful job and we didn’t even pay attention to the other performers after ours. We were too excited and happy to care about the other aspects to the show, we were too busy gushing about the amazing feeling we had after the crowd started clapping and cheering for us.

“You did amazing out there Hyukkie.” Donghae smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist. For once I didn’t blush at his sudden touch but rather his sudden compliment.

“Thanks you did great too, I loved how you did the magic trick, I’m pretty sure everyone was just as amazed as I was.” I replied and hugged him showing off my gummy smile that everyone seemed to either really like or think was weird looking.

“As long as you were amazed I don’t need anyone else.” He whispered close to my ear and I blushed an even deeper shade of red and remained silent. He always knew the right words that would instantly stop me from talking or even thinking.

I didn’t even notice the time as the group continued to chat with each other until the announcer came back on the microphone and shouted to everyone that the talent show was over and it was time to announce the winner of the whole show. Everyone cheered and caught our attention as we watched from the sidelines all crossing our fingers and hoping for the best.

Here was our chance, this was it we were going to win first place and make it in as trainees! This is the chance of a lifetime!

“Everyone did wonderful tonight and one last round of applause to the wonderful performers.” Everyone clapped their hands and cheered as loudly as they could. “But now we have to pick the best performer and have them win the prize! Are you ready for this?!”

We crossed our fingers even tighter and we all closed our eyes waiting for ‘Super Junior’ to be called out by the announcer any minute now.

“SS501!” Everyone cheered and the band whom I had no clue performed walked onto the stage. The crowd continued to clap as they bowed once more and thanked the announcer for choosing them. We stared at this scene completely speechless.

We…lost?!