Irene

"Kung makatitig ka naman sa TV Best, as if she's staring back at you." Jennie suddenly blurted out as she sat beside me. I had a break from shooting and asked Jennie to come and watch with me since she's also near the vicinity. Seulgi was one of the guests in the talk show we're currently watching and the camera's focused on her. It's very obvious that the camera loves her. She's beautiful even in just a simple get up. Jisoo is sitting next to her while Sunmi's on the other corner. Good thing Direk's sitting next to Seul on her other side. If she requested this or not I'm thankful, though you can't deny the looks Sunmi has for my Seulgi every time the camera zooms out on them. You still love my Seul until now, I said silently inside as if talking to Sunmi, but I thank you for leaving her. Paano kung naging sila pa rin ni Sunmi at nagkakilala kami? Will she fall for me still? I asked myself. "Hey! If looks could kill. Kanina pa bulagta si Sunmi sa studio." Jennie said bringing me back to reality. We're inside the waiting room.

"What? I'm not looking at her!" I denied.

"O come on." - Jennie

"Can you see how she looks at Seul?"

"See?! I thought you're not looking at her."

"Just can't avoid it, she's in there." I defended.

"Let's just watch ok? You invited me over to watch their TV guesting tapos hindi ka rin pala manonood."

"I'm watching!"

"You're spying."

"No I'm not..."

"Yes, you are..."

"Hey wait..." I said when I heard the host is now asking Seul.

: So Seulgi pang ilang indie film mo na ito?

; Ah una po mula ng nagbalik ako pero pang lima ko na po ito mula ng nag umpisa akong gumawa ng indie film.

: Is this your first les film?

; Yes.

: Any chance to go on the mainstream?

; If given a chance, why not.

: When you did this movie, did you ask permission to someone? I mean wala bang girlfriend na magseselos? Kasi Jisoo here said that her boyfriend is giving her all the support.

I saw my Seul flashed that same bedimpled smile that never lost every time she's with me. With that smile, I already knew what she's going to say.

; She's very supportive and even encouraged me to take this project po. But with a warning.

She's all smile and the spark in her eyes that she can't deny. When the camera zoomed out I can see the serious face of Sunmi. All the time Seul's thoughts is with me, I proudly said to myself.

"Kinikilig ka?" - Jennie

"Hindi noh?"

"Then why are smiling like a teenager?"

I didn't respond to her but just gave her the straight face look.

: Well that's good to know, sa ganda mong yan dapat ka talagang bakuran.

Laughter was all over the studio.

; Salamat po sa papuri.

: So any girl crush in showbiz? I hope you're girlfriend wouldn't mind kahit na she's watching. 

Again I can see the visible spark in Seul's eyes as if the mere thought of her crush brings out the glow on her face and then Jisoo slightly made a gentle tap on her arm with a wink that made my Seul blush.

: Uy mukhang kilala ni Jisoo ang celebrity crush ni Seulgi ah.

; Napag usapan lang po namin minsan ni Jisoo during breaks sa shooting.

: So? Who's she?

; Si Ms. Irene Bae...

She beamed with that killer smile, she totally turned red. Namimiss ko nang makitang nagbu blushed ang Love ko.

"Hay naku, may kinikilig dito. Kanina pa. Is this the reason why you invited me over to watch your Seulgi. Iniinggit mo lang ako noh!" Jennie cutting my kilig moment.

"Alam mo Best minsan talaga panira ka. This is my moment can't you see?" I sounded irritated, she was about to say something when I stopped her "Wait!"

: No wonder you're captivated by Irene. She's a pure beauty inside out. And we all know how she speaks her mind so well and a very versatile actress in her own league. In fact I learned that a few years back she's offered a les movie too but has to shelve the project because they couldn't meet with schedules and the producer is still looking for her partner in this movie...

I was silent for a moment and then I remember that project 2 or 3 years ago, when it was offered to me. It's a rom-com les movie but was not pushed through for many reasons.

: Just in case, that project pushes through and they would make an audition for a loveteam for Irene, would you go for it?

; I would love to...

: Of course you would! It's a great opportunity to meet your girl crush face to face and get the chance to work with her.

If you only knew, I said as if talking to the host.

; Sana nga po matuloy ang project at aabangan ko po ang audition. Gagawin ko po ang lahat upang ako na ang mapili.

Seulgi answered with full of determination and confidence. I could see the serious face of Sunmi while the rest were all laughing and clapping.

: Wow! hindi ka naman obvious Seulgi na hangang hanga ka kay Irene.

; Gusto ko lang po talaga siyang makatrabaho. Alam naman po natin na mahusay siyang artista.

: I know, she wouldn't accept the project years back if she's afraid to be misjudged. She knows what entails doing sensitive projects like this. It was a brave move actually.

I can see the proud look in Seul's face and the slow nod in agreement of what she's hearing. Seul don't be so obvious I silently prayed because her smile might betray what she's feeling right now.

"Uh-oh, Seulgi watch yourself, you're being too obvious." Jennie observed, just then, we're both thankful for Jisoo who must have the same thought like us because she gently nudged at Seul. "Buti na lang." Jennie sighed and I can't help but giggle. "What Best? Aren't you worried?"

"No." I answered truthfully. Am I ready? would I be alright when the time comes for us to come out? I suddenly felt myself asking those questions.

- - -

Seulgi

"Aren't you going home yet Love?" may lambing na tanong ni Irene.

"May gig pa kami Mk, tatlong oras lang naman at uuwi na ako." paliwanag ko. Pagkatapos ng TV guesting ay deretso na kami sa isang resto bar na kakontrata namin. 

"Can I watch your show?"

"Hindi ka pa ba pagod, Mk? Gabi na ah, tsaka sinong kasama mong pupunta dito?" alala kong tanong.

"I'm with Ms. Shin, We'll just drop by and hear you sing a few songs then uwi na kami. I'm still outside so it's alright." paninigurado niya.

"O sige, Mk. Ikaw ang bahala. Mag uumpisa na kami kaya baka hindi na kita makita mamaya ha." paliwanag ko.

"It's alright Love. I can manage. Just want to watch for an hour or less then we'll go."

"Ok tinatawag na ako. Mahal kita." paalam ko.

"Love you too. Bye."

"Mag uumpisa na kayo Seulgi!" sigaw muli ni Jessica, sunod sa pagtawag niya ng pangalan ko kanina.

"Oo Jessica. Andiyan na." sabay lakad takbo ko papalapit sa kanya.

"Namimiss ka na ng girlfriend mo?" pabiro niyang tanong.

"Hindi, namimiss ko na siya." sagot ko at natawa siya.

- - -

Irene

When we got to the Restobar, the show has been started and it seems everyone is so at ease and relax. They have started already I guess, after Seul and I talked it's been an hour passed. We can hear the cheering and laughters at every corner. A pretty girl came towards as smiling.

"Ms. Shin?" she asked me. I'm wearing Seul's hooded jacket and a pair of glasses. The lights are dim yet still I'm a little cautious to be recognized.

"Yes?" came Shin's voice who's standing beside me.

"Ahm, good evening Ma'am. This way please." she gestured for us to follow her. The staff guided us to the corner but with a good view of the stage.

"Sweet naman ng girlfriend mo, may reserved seats pa talaga para sa atin."

"I just told her I wanted to watch her kahit saglit lang." I answered and Ms. Shin just gave me a nod with a teasing look. I just shook my head and looked towards the stage. She's about to end her nth song for that night.

"Maraming salamat po muli sa mainit ninyong pag tanggap sa amin..." Seul said after singing the last part of her song.

"Kasi love kita Seulgi!!!" a shout from the crowd came.

"...mahal ko din kayo." she answered back and the crowd roared.

"Sagutin mo na ako!!!" came another. I don't think it's the same girl. Yes girls.

"...Hindi po maari may girlfriend na po ako." she smilingly said and I don't know what I felt hearing her said that.

"Huwag mo ipaalam, tayo lang makakaalam."  the same girl. Oh what the... Ms. Shin just gave me a teasing look.

"Sugurin na natin?" she joked. I just shook my head in disbelief. I'm about to answer when we heard Seul again.

"Hindi ko po magagawa yon. Mahal na mahal ko po siya." Seul said in low but sincere tone. And you can hear the crowd cheered and applauded at her words. 

"She's lucky!" a comment came again. She's about to answer when someone shouted again. "Magseselos yon kay Irene!" and the crowd roared in laughter. She didn't say a word but i could tell her cheeks turned red again. What's there in my name that makes her expression seems so visible and too obvious for those who knew about us. Then I saw Wendy approached her and whispered something.

"Ituloy na po natin to, sabi po ng kabanda ko. Pag hindi pa daw ako tumigil magiging talk show na daw tong gabing to." she shyly said that burst another laughter from the crowd. So she started strumming her guitar again and started to sing. I'm mesmerized by her voice, the way she sings her heart and the way she let out those emotions in her songs. After three more songs I decided to go home.

"Let's go, Ms. Shin" aya ko na.

"Bakit hindi natin pinatapos?" Ms. Shin asked when we're preparing ourselves to leave the Restobar.

"Mahirap na pag pinatapos natin baka makilala tayo." I just smiled back at her and she nod back agreeing with my answer. After paying our drinks we headed out of the Restobar.

"Napanood ko yong TV guesting niya. Girl crush?" Shin teasingly said as we settled inside my car. It's my turn to blush, the truth is there are some male celebrities who are so vocal in saying that I'm one of their girl crushes and it feels normal to me, flattered yes but nothing more. But Seul's confession is different, far more different. "What if alukin ka ulit no'ng les theme na movie at si Seulgi ang partner mo? Ganda sigurado ng chemistry niyo noh? ngayon pa lang pag nakikita ko kayo, kinikilig na ako."

"Ms. Shin!" I almost shouted.

"What?! totoo naman kaya, makikita mo." she defensively said and I just shook my head.

- - -

I was already asleep when I woke up with the sound of silent steps in our room. With my eyes closed I felt someone at my side of bed and in seconds I felt a soft kiss landed on my forehead.

"Paumanhin Mk, hindi ko akalain na gagabihin ako ng ganito." Seulgi whispered. I didn't react, I stayed still pretending to be sleeping though I wanted to jump off the bed to hug her. Minutes passed I felt no movement, I was about to open my eyes when I felt a hand at my side of the bed. Seconds more Seul's hand is gently my hair.

"It's ok Love, hindi naman maiiwasan na gabihin tayo sa trabaho natin eh." I answered almost whispering without opening my eyes. "We sleep now."

"Pahinga muna ako saglit, Mk at magshower." she said and I just gave her a smile, my eyes still closed. I felt her sitting at the floor while her head rests on the bed because I can feel her breathing.

"How's your crush?" I asked.

"Maganda pa rin siya." her answer.

"Kailan mo pa siya crush?"

"Mula ng gabing nakita ko siya." she said.

"Crush lang?" I asked still not opening my eyes.

"Noon? oo. Ngayon? Higit pa sa crush. Mahal ko na siya, mahal na mahal." I melt with her words.

"Hindi mo crush si Sunmi?" I suddenly blurted out as her face suddenly flashed in my memory, the way she looks at Seul earlier in the show. 

"Normal lang naman siguro na maging crush ko din siya di ba? Noon?" she asked me back. No reply. I just sighed.

"Your crush is the celebrity Irene Bae, that's what you said. Right?" as I opened my eyes and looked at her. She's lovingly staring at me with that almond eyes.

"Oo, Mk."

"What if you're ask who's your love?"

"Sasabihin ko si Binibining Irene Bae." she said in an almost whisper voice as she got up slowly and kissed my lips. "Shower lang ako Mk." as I saw her heading to the bathroom. I don't know but I was left speechless.

- - -

Seulgi

Paglabas ko ng banyo ay nakapikit na muli ang Mahal ko. Napagod din siguro sa maghapong shooting nila.

Dahan dahan akong umakyat sa kabilang dulo ng kama at lumapit sa kanya, masuyo kong haplos ang kanyang likod at niyakap siya, dahan dahan niyang isiniksik ang sarili sa akin.

"Mas marami atang nagkaka crush sa'yo. Malakas ang tili nila sa gig niyo eh." mahinang sabi ni Irene habang yakap ko siya ramdam ko ang init ng likod niya sa pag yakap ko san kanya.

"Ayos lang yon Mk, isa lang naman ang crush ko eh." hirit ko.

"I'm serious, Love."

"Seryoso din naman ako Mk." sagot ko habang mahigpit ko siyang yakap.

"What if you'll be well known in the industry, mas maraming magkakagusto sa'yo." balik niya.

"Wala namang problema do'n, Mk. Isa lang naman ang gusto ko." sagot.

"What the..." sabay ikot niya at naharap na sa akin. "You want to sleep in the couch?" hamon niya "I'm being serious here, Seul?!"

"Oh, Mk bakit ka nagagalit seryoso naman din ako ah?" takang sabi ko na sa kanya. Naramdaman kong gusto niyang makawala sa yakap ko kaya mas lalo kong hinigpitan.

"Let me go." utos niya

"Hindi, mag uusap tayo." paninindigan kong sabi

"Then mag usap tayo ng maayos, let me go." muli niyang utos.

"Hindi ba maaring mag usap ng maayos na nakayakap ako sa'yo?" tanong ko.

"Niloloko mo ako eh." inis niyang sabi saka muling pumiglas sa yakap ko kaya buong pwersa akong umibabaw sa kanya at hinawakan ang mag kabilang kamay niya.

"Hindi nga kita niloloko, Mk. Seryoso ako." sagot ko at kita ko ang pagbabago ng anyo niya, seryoso na rin.

"How so serious you are, Seul?" mahina niyang tanong, magkalapit ang aming mga mukha at kahit na hindi gaanong maliwanag ang aming silid ay kita ko ang matamlay niyang mga tingin.

"Irene..."

"Tell me, Seulgi how can you prove that you're serious?" kita na ang pakiusap sa kanyang mga tingin. Kahit ayaw kong sabihin at hindi ko alam kung ito ang tamang oras at pagkakataon ay parang wala na akong pagpipilian dahil kita ko ang lungkot at alinlangan sa kanyang mga mata. Kung titingnan mo, ako ang dapat matakot na mawala siya sa piling ko pero bakit nakikita ko sa kanyang mga mata ang takot na nararamdaman ko rin. 

"Seul..."

"Pakakasal ka ba sa akin?" hindi ko na napigilang itanong.

"What?" gulat niyang tanong pabalik.

"Ang sabi ko Mk---"

"I heard you, Seul... What I mean is... seriously Seul? You're proposing this way? You're on top of me? Hawak mga kamay ko?" tanong niya pero halatang nagliwanag ang mukha niya.

"Eh kasi, hindi kita makausap ng maayos kung hindi ko 'to gagawin sa'yo eh." pangangatwiran ko na hindi siya binibitawan.

"And you'll think maniniwala ako sa proposal mo sa ayos natin na to? Na you're just asking me to marry you para lang maniwala akong seryoso ka?" bato niyang tanong.

"Anumang oras o pagkakataon magtatapat ako sa'yo ng kasal dahil yon ang totoo, dahil yon ang nararamdaman ko, Mk." makatotohanan kong sabi. Natigilan siya, hindi na nakaimik kundi nakatingin lang sa akin.

"Can you let go off my hands, please?" masuyo niyang pakiusap "Do you really want to marry me Love?" malambing niyang tanong habang haplos na ang magkabila kong pisngi.

"Oo, Mahal ko." agad kong sagot habang nakapikit kong dinadama ang palad niya sa magkabilang pisngi ko. Pagmulat ko ay kita ang kislap sa kanyang mga matang nakangiti.

"Then if I'd say yes, that would mean we're already engaged?"

"Oo naman, Mk. Pero gagawin pa rin natin pormal ang lahat." sagot kong nakangiti habang haplos na rin ang braso niya.

"Then, can we do 'it' already?" tanong niyang taas ang isang kilay habang unti unti niya akong ikinukukong sa kanyang mga bisig.

"M-mk?" utal kong tawag sa kanya. Saka ko lang napansin ang posisyon naming dalawa kaya lalong nag init ang aking magkabilang pisngi at buo kong katawan

"Did I not tell you, I like to see you blush Love?" tukso niyang sabi na hindi na naalis ang mga braso niya sa leeg ko. "So? you want my answer now?"

"Ahm... ah... pwede ba Mk, yong sagot mo sa pormal na pamamaraan ko na lang na pagtatanong mo sabihin ang sagot." may pagaatubili ko mg sabi.

"Why, you don't want to know my answer now?" tanong niya na kinulong na ako sa kanyang mga bisig at masuyong binigyan ng malambing na halik sa aking labi.

"M-mk..." tanging nasabi ko matapos ang masuyong halik.

"Afraid you might give in?" muli niyang tanong. Unti unti akong umangat upang makawala sa kanyang mga bisig ngunit hindi siya natitinag. "Where are you going?"

"Banyo."

"Why?"

"I-ihi..."

"Why all of a sudden?"

"Kasi bigla akong naiihi..." yon na lang naisagot ko.

"You amazed me Love. You're really keeping your words, aren't you?" sabi niyang nangingiti. Hindi na ako nagsalita at muling nagtangkang tumayo. Nakahinga ako ng unti unti niyang niluwagan ang mga bisig niya sa leeg ko. Nanatili lang siyang tahimik na nakatingin sa akin habang umalis ako sa pagkakadagan ko sa kanya. Dahan dahan akong bumaba ng kama at walang lingon likod na naglakad papuntang banyo. Pero hindi pa ako nakakalayo ng nagsalita si Irene.

"Love?" tawag niya at napalingon ako.

"Ano yon Mk?"

"When the time comes, I'll make sure na hindi ka na makakatayo para mag banyo." nakakaloko niyang sabi at tingin sa akin. Nagulat ako at pansin niya yon dahil natawa siya. "Kaya humanda ka." pahabol pa niya. Saka siya humiga sa kama at mahigpit na niyakap si Papi niya.

Natulala ako, ngayon pa lang randam ko ng pangangatog ng tuhod ko.