Sunmi

For the longest time ngayon lang ulit ako nakadama ng kaba. Why all of a sudden nandon ang kaba sa dibdib ko? Bakit kung kailan ready na ako Seulgi, bakit kung kailan nakapag desisyon na ako saka pa huli na ang lahat. Andito na ako Seulgi, bumalik na ako para sa'yo. It is never too late Seulgi, I know you still love me. Does she Sunmi? Kontra ng isip ko. Have you not seen how she looks at Irene? How she smiles every time she speaks with Irene? Can you possibly deny the sparks in her eyes? Dugtong pa ng utak ko. Hindi. I know I hurt her but she will love me again now that I'm here. Kontra ko sa bulong na nasa isip ko. Pinilit kong matapos agad and meeting ko para makapunta sa restaurant nila Vernon, magkikita muli kami ni Seulgi. Magkikita muli tayo Seulgi. I felt excited at the thought na madalas ko ng makikita si Seulgi once mag umpisa na ang shooting, kahit sabihing indie film lang yon at hindi ganon katagal kami magkikita araw araw ay sapat ng may dahilan para makasama ko siya muli. Laking tuwa ko ng ibinalita ni Vernon na pumayag siya sa role at tanggapin ang project.

Pagpark ko ng kotse ay dali dali akong lumabas at halos patakbong pumasok ng resto. Nakilala na ako ng staff kaya she assisted me to the private room. Kinakabahan ako at excited at the same time. As the door opens I saw Seulgi and Irene as if they're about to leave.

"Leaving so soon or am I just too late?" bungad ko na nagpalingon sa tatlo sa gawi ko except Irene. I know and I can feel that she doesn't like me.

"Sunmi!" sigaw ni Vernon. "Just in time pero paalis na rin sila eh." sabi niya palapit sa akin at humalik.

"So late nga ako." nakangiti kong sagot. Napansin kong papalapit na sa amin si Seulgi at Irene, it hurts to see how Seulgi hold Irene's hand while gently it. How I miss her holding mine.

"Paumanhin Sunmi, hindi na kami magtatagal ni Irene, may kailangan lang kaming puntahan." Seulgi said when they're just few steps away from me. She didn't even greeted me with a kiss, I saw Irene smiled at me but no words.

"Can I just talk to you for a sec then Seulgi?" pakiusap ko.

"Sorry, Sunmi. Kailangan na kasi namin talagang umalis." tanggi ni Seulgi.

"Kahit saglit lang." pilit ko pero kita ang pagtanggi sa mga mata ni Seulgi.

"It's alright Love. I can wait for you at the car." narinig namin sa mahinang boses na sabi ni Irene.

"Mk..." tawag ni Seulgi, puno ng pagmamahal at masakit yon sa akin na marinig at makita.

"Don't worry, Love, I'm not leaving. Hintayin kita, just give her the seconds that she asked, and I mean seconds. 180 seconds perhaps?" seryoso niyang sabi na nakatingin sa akin. Hindi agad ako nakasagot.

"Ok Mk, saglit lang kami." mahinang sagot ni Seulgi and she kissed Irene habang may inabot sa kanya, car key I supposed. She kissed her, sinasadya mo ba ito Seulgi? tanong ng isip ko  pero nakikita ko ang pagmamahal sa mga mata ni Seulgi para kay Irene. Ngumiti lang si Irene at bumaling sa akin at matipid na ngumiti at tumango sa akin saka naglakad palayo. She walked towards the door assisted by Vernon. "Anong dapat nating pag usapan, Sunmi?" rinig kong sabi ni Seulgi, may himig ng pagmamadali habang habol pa rin ng tanaw ang palabas nang si Irene.

"I came back for you, Seulgi." mahina kong sabi.

"Wala ka ng babalikan Sunmi. Alam mo yon at alam mo kung bakit."

"Nasaktan lang kita Seulgi."

"Matagal ng naghilom ang sugat Sunmi."

"Minahal mo ako, Seulgi."

"Noon, Sunmi. Noon yon. Wala ka na sa puso ko ngayon."

"Nagkataon lamang na andiyan si Irene kaya nabaling sa kanya ang attention mo." 

"Maayos na ako ng dumating si Irene sa buhay ko. Tanggap ko na ng panahong na yon na hindi mo ako mahal."

"Nang panahong wala ka sa tabi ko, Seulgi, that's when I realized that I love you. So I tried my best tobe in the world you want to be, music and film. I did all that for you, Seulgi, para sa pag balik ko masasabi kong sigurado na ako sa nararamdaman ko para sa'yo."

"Paumanhin Sunmi, pero huli na. Lumayo ka at ang pag layo mo ang naging dahilan para matutunan ko ring mahalin ang sarili ko. Sa'yo umikot ang mundo ko noon. Sana kahit malayo ka noon, sinubukan mong magkaron tayo ng komunikasyon, baka sakaling maiba ang pananaw ko ngayon, pero pati yon ay inalis mo Sunmi." parang may bahid ng pagsumbat.

"I will make it up to you." pagsuyo ko.

"Wala ka nang dapat gawin, Sunmi. Wala na. Kailangan mong tanggapin na kailanman ay hindi na muli magiging tayo." walang kurap niyang sabi. "Si Irene na ang mahal ko at mamahalin ko. Sa kanya ko na nakikita ang bukas ko. Sana maunawaan mo na kahit na ano pang gawin mo hindi na magiging tayo muli. Wala ng tayo."

Natahimik ako dahil parang sinaksak ako sa bawat salitang binitiwan niya.

"Alright then. I'll respect that." pagsuko kong sabi matapos ang mahabang patlang.

"Salamat, aalis na ako." she said and was about to walk when I held her hand.

"About the project, Seulgi."

"Saka na natin pag usapan yon."

"Did you change your mind? Dahil nalaman mong ako ang producer?"

"Bakit ayaw mong pasabi na ikaw ang producer ng proyekto?"

"Dahil baka magbago ang isip mong tanggapin yon." sagot ko at hindi siya umimik. "So are you, Seulgi? Are you dropping the project?" ulit ko.

"Pagiisipan ko Sunmi. Ayaw kong makasakit ng damdamin."

"Ang selfish naman niya kung pipigilan ka niya."

"Hindi gagawin ni Irene ang pigilan ako sa proyektong ito dahil mahal niya ako. Pero bibitiwan ko to dahil ayaw ko siyang masaktan, dahil mahal ko siya." sagot niya. "Mauna na ako Sunmi, naghihintay na si Irene." at tuluyan na siyang naglakad. Naiwan akong tulala at nakatanaw lang sa palabas nang si Seulgi. I suddenly felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Sunmi, bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin? Na may nakaraan kayo ni Seulgi?" Si Vernon.

"Minahal niya ako noon at minahal ko din siya pero hindi ko siya kayang panindigan kaya lumayo ako. But I came back for her, Vernon. Well I guess I came back late, very late." matipid kong ngiting sagot. "I just hope matuloy ang project, sorry guys for not telling you about us." paumanhin kong sabi.

- - -

Seulgi

Nagmamadali kong tinungo ang private parking kung saan naroon ang sasakyan namin ni Irene. Natanaw ko siyang nakaupo sa passenger's seat at nang lapitan ko ay nakapikit.

"Mk, bakit hindi ka na lang nag aircon at binaba mo pa ang bintana ng sasakyan? Baka may makakita sa'yo dumugin ka dito" bungad kong nakangiti pagpasok ng kotse.

"Private parking naman to love, walang makakakita sa akin bukod kay manong guard." nakangiti niyang sagot. "Let's go Love Jennie's waiting." aya niya.

Pinaandar ko na ang sasakyan at tahimik naming binabagtas ang daan "Mk, anong oras kita susunduin kina Jennie?" tanong ko.

"Can I sleepover at her condo, Love?" balik niyang tanong.

"Bakit?" sagot ko sa tanong niya. Nagulat ako. 

"Matagal na kasi kaming walang bonding moment eh." sagot niya.

"Bakit mukhang biglaan naman ata?" tanong ko muli.

"I just missed her." simple niyang sagot. Hindi ako nakaimik, dahil ba ito kanina? Tanong ng isip ko.

"Daan muna tayo sa condo natin para sa gamit mo, Mk?"

"No need Love. May gamit ako sa unit niya." nakangiti niyang sagot. Tumango lang ako at tahimik na muli.

"Mk, kung sakaling hindi ko ituloy ang proyekto ---"

"---Don't do that Love." napalingon ako sa sagot niya.

"Pero Mk---"

"---Huwag ako ang isipin mo, it's a good project Love. And besides nakausap mo na si Jisoo at Vernon. Don't drop the project just because of Sunmi or you're worried about me." patuloy niya. "Kung hindi mo na siya mahal then taking the project wouldn't be a problem di ba?" tanong niyang tumingin sa akin ilang saglit saka muling bumalik ang tingin sa daan.

"Ok sige Mk." tanging nasabi ko saka muling tahimik kaming nagbiyahe.

- - -

Irene

"Maaari ba kitang ihatid kina Jennie?" Seul offered as we parked inside the condo building. I didn't say a word but just nod. I don't know but I just kept silent. Before going out the car I felt Seulgi's hand held mine and tenderly kissed it.

"Mahal kita, Mk." she sweetly said, I smiled and touched her cheek until I felt myself closed the gap between us.

"I know Love and I love you too." I said after we kissed. "We're ok, just want to spend time with B."

"Nauunawaan ko." she gave me that bedimpled smile. "Maaari ba akong matulog sa kwarto mo?" she asked and my heart melt.

"Of course, Love. That's our room."   i said and she smiled sweetly. The walk from the parking area to the elevator seems to be so long because there are no words from us. When the elevator opened and when we're both inside I felt Seulgi's deep sighs as I can feel the back of her hand tenderly brushing mine. I was silently smiling inside, don't worry Seul I will miss you, too. Sagot ng isip ko.

We're now in front of Jennie's unit and as I pressed the doorbell I glanced at Seulgi, head fell down and her other foot tapping against the wall she's facing, glancing every now and then at my side as if she wanted to say something but holding it back. I hope she didn't notice my smile.

"Hi B!" Jennie beamed at the door. "Hi Seulgi!" she said when she saw Seulgi. "Good to see you again, you're gonna stay here, too?" Jennie asked Seulgi while greeted us with a kiss.

"Ah, Hi Jennie. H-hindi, hinatid ko lang si Irene. Sige alis na rin ako. Bye Mk, sunduin kita bukas?"

"No need, Love. Pahatid na lang ako kay Jennie. No worries ok?" I said and Seul just silently nod as I saw the questioning look of Jennie.

"Ganon ba? S-sige." she stammered. "Mauuna na ako, bye Jennie." she smilingly said but sadness is visible on her face.

"Bye, Love. See you tomorrow." I said and kissed her. 

"Bye Seulgi, drive safe." paalam ni Jennie.

- - -

"So?"

"What so?" I answered.

"O come on, B. You can never pretend to me. As if hindi ko alam why you're here." Jennie answered, I felt guilty.

"Thank you for calling earlier B and sorry at the same time, please don't think I'm just here in times like this?" I said sincerely. Matagal na kaming hindi nagkita tapos problema pang dala ko.

"Hay naku B, hindi mo bagay magdrama sa akin. I knew you so well, of course you're in love and all so don't apologize. Now, tell me what happened."

"Didn't I tell you that her ex came back and it looks like she's really determined to win back Seul..."

"I see, I don't think she'll succeed."

"Bakit mo naman nasabi?"

"Hahaha, masyado ka naman yatang affected sa Sunmi na yon, hindi mo na nakikita kung gaano ka kamahal ng girlfriend mo."

"What do you mean?"

"Didn't you see Seulgi's face earlier? Hay naku B, she looks like someone who's sending off her girlfriend at the airport at matagal na hindi magkikita." she said laughing. "And ikaw mukhang girlfriend na malalayo ng ilang taon ang hitsura habang papasok ka dito. You two look so adorably crazy for each other even if you're pretending to be alright."

"Are we that obvious?"

"Hindi. Obvious na obvious." she said still laughing.

"B!" I shouted

"What?!" she said "Anyone can notice that and I'm sure even Sunmi...."

"...She's the producer of the project Seul's into."

"So?"

"Do you think, sinadya niya yon? Ngayon lang namin nalaman na siya ang producer."

"Maybe she did that on purpose knowing that Seulgi would refuse the offer outright for your sake. Hindi ba alam ni Seul how insecure you are pagdating sa Sunmi na yon." She said, natahimik ako. Insecure ba talaga ako? "Maybe hindi lang matanggap ni Sunmi na wala na sila ni Seulgi, Best. She may be trying to win her back, pero as I can see it Seulgi's so in love with you." she said, hindi man kami madalas magkita ni Jennie lately ay nakakapag kwentuhan kami through phone and chats.

"I know."

"Then why the sad and worry face?"

"Nothing, nagulat lang siguro ako sa nalaman ko and the way she looked at Seul earlier at the resto..." I said na lalo nagpatawa kay Jennie. "Ano na naman?!" I irritably asked.

"Nothing, has anyone told you that you've never been this jealous before?"

"Yeah, Mom and Suzy also said that." I answered and she laughed and hugged me.

"Thought so... come kain tayo ng fave ice cream mo then we watched movie then hatid na kita pauwi."

"No, B! I'll sleep here." protesta ko. 

"As if naman makakatulog ka, istorbohin mo lang tulog ko."

"No, I can sleep."

"No, you can't kasi wala yong sleeping pill mo."

"Sleeping pill?"

"Yup.." she answered and I gave her a questioning look. "Si Seulgi."

- - -

It's past 1 in the morning when I arrived at my condo. Hindi ko talaga na convince si Jennie na gusto kong matulog sa condo niya. Hinatid niya ako at ngayon andito na ako sa tapat ng pintuan ng condo ko. Maybe Seul's already sleeping in my room, sa other room na lang ako matutulog sabi ko sa isip ko. As I opened the door and walked in napansin ko ang munting liwanag sa may entertain area. Is Seul still awake? It's already late, I'm expecting her to be in bed by now. I slowly walked in and I saw no one in the couch pero naka on ang tv at nakaplay ang isa sa mga movies that I made. Napangiti ako, then I saw the reclining chair right in front of the screen. Dahan dahan akong lumapit and I saw Seulgi sleeping like a baby holding papi close to her, eyes closed and peacefully sleeping. Yet you can see the loneliness visible on her face. I miss you too Love, sagot ng isip ko.

Hindi ko muna siya ginising as I went straight to our room had a shower and changed to my sleepwear. Pagbalik ko tulog pa rin si Seul but as if she sensed my presence when I heard her whispered my name.

"Irene..." she whispered while her eyes still closed.

"Hmmm." Sagot ko lang.

"Tulog ka sa tabi ko..." she answered as she slowly moved to give a little space beside her. Nagulat ako, gising ba to? Pero hindi siya nagmumulat ng mata. "Maaari bang dito tayo matulog?" she asked.

"Are you comfortable sleeping here?" tanong ko.

"Kahit saan Mk, basta katabi kita." sagot niya na hindi pa rin nagmumulat ng mata. I just nod and kissed her nose.

"Ok Love, saglit." I said and move to adjust the chair so it would be comfortable enough to sleep in. Then I reached out to the tv remote to turn off the screen when i heard her softly speak again.

"Naka timer na yang tv, Mk. Gusto ko lang marinig ang boses mo habang natutulog ako." she said. Natigilan ako, gising siya pero ayaw magmulat ng mata. Kaya hindi ko na inoff ang tv, then I proceeded to lie beside her under the comforter. I felt her warmth embrace and hugged me so tight like how much she misses me. "Salamat at umuwi ka, Mk. Mahal na mahal kita." she whispered in my ear.

"Akala ko tulog ka?"

"Akala ko nanaginip ako..."

"Why didn't you sleep in our room?"

"Hinahanap kita, Mk hindi ako makatulog." she answered and held me tight again.

- - -

I woke up with the sound of a ringing cellphone. Ramdam ko ang kamay at paa ni Seul na nakapatong sa akin. Mahimbing pa rin ang tulog niya. Anong oras na? Mukhang napasarap ang tulog niya. Madalas nauuna pa siyang nagigising sa akin. I searched around to look for the phone, alam ko hindi sa akin yon, then I saw Seulgi's phone in the side table. I reached out and saw only a number. I got curious, sino kaya ito? I faced Seul and tried waking her up.

"Love, someone's calling you." I whispered to her but instead of answering she held me closed to her so that our face is just incles away from each other."Love..." tawag ko muli.

"Sino?" bulong niya without opening her eyes.

"I don't know number lang eh." sagot ko pabalik.

"Baka promo calls lang yan..." bulong niya as I felt her getting closer, then I felt her lips in mine.

"L-love... baka important call to." I said as our lips parted.

"Sige pakisagot."

"Are you sure?" I asked and she opened one eye and smiled then kissed me again longer as I felt her smile on my lips.

"Good morning Mk, ikaw ng sumagot, antok pa ako eh." she said and went down to rest her head on my chest and hugged me closed to her. Wala na akong nagawa. I answered the call again ng magring ulit ito.

"Hello, good morning." I answered.

"Seulgi?" that voice. Again.

"Who's this?" I asked trying to confirm the owner of the voice.

"Is this Seulgi's phone?" She asked ignoring my question.

"Yes, but she's still sleeping."

"Seulgi's not the type who wakes up late. Are you sure she's still sleeping?" what the... inuubos talaga ng babaeng to pasensiya ko.

"Yes she is, she asked me to answer the call instead. She's lying next to me. Want to talk to her?" I sarcastically said. There's silence for seconds. I looked down and gently called on Seul.

"Love, it's Sunmi. She wants to talk to you." Sabi ko pero she's not moving.  "Love..." I called to her again but instead mas lalo niya siniksik ang mukha niya sa dibdib ko. "Hey, Love..." tawag ko muli.

"Mamaya na..." she just said against my chest na hindi ko pa alam kung tama nga ang rinig ko kaya tinanong ko muli. She just move her head up to face me and said in a low husky voice. "Pakisabi mamaya na lang, Mk..." she said and buried her face in my chest again.

"I supposed I don't have to repeat that?" I said as I got back to Sunmi. Sa lapit naming dalawa ni Seul alam kong narinig na ni Sunmi ang mga sinabi ni Seul. 

"She loved me first." yon lang ang sinagot niya.

"Yeah she loved you first but you're history now, I'm her present and future." sagot ko and ended the call. Nasagad na rin siguro ako. I'm trying to calm myself when I felt Seul's hand gently rubbing my back. As if she felt the tension between me and Sunmi.

"Mk..." I heard Seul lovingly called me.

"Yes, Love?" I answered.

"You're my everyday." sagot niya and kissed me.

-