Irene

Bakit ang sakit na makitang masaya ang babaeng kausap ni Seul. Tuwang tuwa siyang nakikipag usap kay Seulgi ko. Sana hindi na lang ako lumabas ng sasakyan. Di sana hindi ko narinig ang usapan ng dalawang babae na sinasabing dumating daw ang dating kababata ni Seulgi. Sana pumirmi na lang ako sa pwesto ko para hindi ko na lang nakita kung sino ang kausap ni Seulgi kanina. Sana nanahimik na lang akong nakaupo para hindi ako nasaktan dahil sa nakita ko. How I wished those scenes will just erase in my memory. I felt a sting in my chest again. How can it be so painful. I don't know Sunmi but how I look at the girl's she's talking with is not a stranger to Seul. Malakas ang kutob ko na siya yon.

I glanced at the young man sitting next to me looking worried. Kanina pa kasi ako umiiyak.

"Ok ka lang ba Ate?" sabi niyang nag aalala. Tumango lang ako.

"Yeah, sorry ha." sagot kong nakayuko habang nakasuot ang jumper ni Seulgi sa akin, hindi ko alam kung nakilala niya ako dahil nakahood ako at nakayuko lang. Lagi ko ng dala ang jumper ni Seul, pakiramdam ko kasi she's hugging me every time I wear it.

"Ok lang yan, ilabas mo lang Ate." I saw him smile. "Pa Maynila ka rin ba?" tanong niyang sunod.

"O-oo." I said plainly and he just nod and look in front and said nothing anymore.

Hindi na tumawag muli o nagtext pa si Seulgi after ng usapan namin, hinayaan na niya ako. What do you expect Irene? her ex came back and you just have to accept that reality. Besides you asked to be left alone. So don't expect that she'll come running after you. I said to myself and I took a deep breath. The only thing I can do right now, is to sigh and cry. Mas masakit pa ito, hindi pa kami pero matindi ng sakit. I really fell for her. I have been thinking for I don't know how long when I felt the bus stopped. May umakyat na bata or bata ba talaga ito. Maliit kasi eh at derederetso sa dulo, bakit siya lang walang kasamang guardian? O magulang? Mukhang bata pa talaga. Then I heard him speak.

"Ate Irene." tawag niya nagulat ako. Then he called me again. "Ate Irene! sabi ni Ate Seulgi baba ka na daw dito sa bus. Pag hindi ka daw bababa hindi rin ako bababa kaya pakiusap Ate Irene baba ka na." nagulat ako, ano daw? Ako pinababa ng batang ito? Si Seulgi ang may sabi? Totoo ba to? Nilingon ko yong bata sa likod because I'm sitting in the middle aisle, palinga linga siya na parang may hinahanap.

"Ate Irene, sige na po baba ka na. Ayaw ko pong pumunta ng Maynila ng ganito ang ayos ko oh." ulit ng bata. Pinagtitinginan na siya ng mga pasahero. Hindi agad ako makagalaw. "Ate Irennneee!!!" sigaw na niya at nataranta na ako.

"Hey! Kid! Ok na, sige na halika na huwag ka ng umiyak." pag alo ko at tinawag ko na siya na lumapit sa akin. I stayed bowed down with my hood still on me.

I saw the boy smiled and approached me. "Ikaw si Ate Irene?" he asked and I just nod as we got off the bus, then I heard the bus driver spoke.

"May atraso ka ba Miss? Naku mahirap takasan si Seulgi." ngiti niyang sabi at napatawa din ang kundoktor niya, pareho silang kumaway bago pinaandar muli ang bus habang tulala akong nakatingin sa kanila. Natauhan na lang ako ng may humawak sa kamay ko.

"Tara tawid tayo sa kabila, doon na tayo maghintay Ate Irene." sabay aya niya at tumingin sa magkabilang kalsada before he pulled me to cross to the other side of the road where we stopped in front of a small sari-sari store.

"Kilala mo ako? Sino ka?" I asked.

"Upo ka muna dito ate." he said gesturing me to sit at the improvised wooden chair. "Thank you." I said waiting for his response.

"Kilala na kita ngayon." ngiti niyang sabi pero matagal na nakatitig. "Kamukha mo si Irene Bae at pareho pa kayo ng pangalan. Ako nga pala si Miguel pero tawag sa akin ng karamihan ay Bansot. Pero hindi na nila ako tinatawag mula ng isinumbong ko sila kay Ate Seulgi. Hindi ba obvious na maliit na ako bakit kailangan pang tawaging bansot di ba?" sabi niyang walang preno at napangiti ako. 

"Ilang taon ka na ba?" tanong ko and I saw him looked intently to me.

"16." he simply said.

"No way! You must be kidding me." I blurted because he's height is that of a 8 to 10year-old kid. He's really smaller than his age.

He shook his head. "At least ikaw hindi mo ako tinawanan kaya hindi kita isisumbong kay Ate Seulgi. Atsaka mukha kang malungkot ayos lang na tawanan mo ako." he answered and it's my turn to be silent. I just smiled at him.

"Tinawagan ka ni Seulgi?" I asked and he just nod.

"Ni radyo niya sa akin na may bus na dadaan dito at ang numero ng bus. Hihinto daw sa tapat namin at  gawin ko ang lahat parang lang daw mapababa kita, kung hindi daw kita mapapababa ay sasamahan kita hanggang Maynila. Gustong gusto ko ring pumunta ng Maynila pero tingnan mo naman ang ayos ko, hindi ako handa!" he exclaimed in a loud voice as he showed me how he dressed up in sando and shorts. I smiled silently. Seulgi really is everyone's friend.

"Ayan ng sasakyan niya." basag ni Miguel sa katahimikan and I suddenly felt nervous as I watched Seulgi's car slowing down and maneuvering from the other side of the road. Miguel waved his hands and I know she already saw us. Me. Kinakabahan ako pero happy at the same time, she followed me. She stopped in front of us and opened her door only to slammed it closed and walked towards us, napatayo ako. This is the first time I saw her mad or even furious, it's visible in her face. The more I got scared.

"Ate Seulgi, galit ka?" tanong ni Miguel.

"Salamat, Miguel. Saka na tayo magusap. Halika na Irene." she said in a low but authorative  voice. I wasn't able to respond but allowed myself to be dragged though in a smooth manner by Seulgi. I was scared at how she look right now. Madilim ang tingin niya at kunot ang  noo.

"Bye Ate Irene." I heard Miguel and I just waved at him. Seulgi opened the passenger's seat and waited for me to settle down before gently closing the door, she walked to the other side and as soon as she's inside she again slammed the door closed beside her. She's mad, really mad. She made a few deep breaths before started the engine but before she stepped on the gas, she leaned over to me and I just closed my eyes, it caught me by surprise. I heard a clicked and when I opened my eyes, I'm wearing my seatbelt. Then she revived the car. We're silent, nobody wants to talk. Kahit ako tahimik, palihim ko siyang tinitingnan ng may mapansin ako. I took off my seatbelt and she looked at me.

"Bakit?" tanong niya but I didn't answer instead I leaned over to take her seatbelt and wore it to her. Being this close to Seulgi is so intoxicating, I want to hug her right at this very moment and tell her how much she means to me, how much I love her. Yes I love her. But too afraid to say it. Baka masaktan lang ako, pag nagtapat ako. I slowly pulled away and put on my seatbelt again.

"Salamat." she said. It's the only word that came out from her the whole trip. I never said a word. She didn't ask, I didn't ask. Silence engulfed the whole trip back to their house.

Pagdating namin sa bahay nila ay agad siyang bumaba ng sasakyan. Surprised that she didn't slam the door when she got out, maybe because I'm still inside. But the moment she opened the door for me and I stepped out, ayon na naman. She slammed it so hard that it caught attention from people outside their house. She held me in my arm and we walked inside their house. She's not looking at anybody, deretso lang siyang naglalakad habang kasunod ako.

"Oh Seulgi andito na pala kayo." I heard Ate Yeon said but Seulgi seemed to not hear her dahil walang lingon itong naglakad. I just shyly waved at Ate Yeon and to her other siblings na andon. I saw Tito Felix, too but I can't ask Seul to stop dahil natatakot ako sa kanya. We climbed up the stairs until we reached what seems to be an attic room. This is her room I said to myself. She opened it and closed the door with such force and I think the whole people in their house heard it. Lalo akong natakot she didn't say a word, nakatayo lang siya pero nakayuko, her hands balled into a fist. She's breathing heavily, after a minute or so without a word I felt her walked to the door, she held the doorknob tight and immediately opened it. I was surprised to see her brothers and Tito Felix? 

"Nay! Sila kuya at Tatay!" Seulgi yelled. "Anong ginagawa niyo dito, pati ba naman kayo Tay?" mataas na boses niyang tanong.

"Hindi anak, sinundan ko lang tong mga kuya mo para sawayin." rinig kong paliwanag ng Tatay niya. "Umalis na nga kayo! Baba!" I heard him said in a loud voice and saw him pushing the guys to leave. Then I saw him approached Seulgi and said "Anak walang mararating ang galit o init ng ulo pag isinama mo sa pag uusap niyo. Alam mo yan." he said lovingly while holding Seulgi's head and gently pulled her closer to him and planted a kiss on her forehead, he's smiling and winked at me before walking away. Seulgi didn't say a word but gently closed the door and leaned on it. After few deep breaths she turned around and looked at me. As she's slowly walking towards me, I can't understand my heart again. What's this? Why this feeling? I felt her hands held mine and gently rubbing the back of my hands with her thumbs. I think she's ok now. Dahil maamo na muli ang mukha niya. She looked at me with concern and asked.

"Bakit ka umalis Irene? Bakit mo ako iniwan ng basta basta na lang?" she said in a low but hurtful tone.

"I... I saw you talking with her. Sunmi. I overheard from the two girls in the hall that she came. I saw how happy she was talking with you, Seulgi. Natakot ako dahil napapatawa mo siya, masaya siyang kausap ka." I said as tears fell from my eyes, I couldn't hide it anymore. I'm hurting and scared at the same time.

"Shhh. Mk, huwag kang umiyak." she said worriedly and held my face with her both hands and wiped my tears with her thumb. "Masaya siya dahil matagal kaming hindi nagkita." paliwanag niya. But I didn't say a word. Umiling lang ako. "Alam mo bang sa ilang minuto ng paguusap namin ang laman ng isip ko ay ikaw. Natatawa siya dahil hindi ako makasagot ng maayos dahil ikaw ang nasa isip ko, Mk." malambing niyang sabi. Parang lumukso ang puso ko sa narinig ko, pero andon pa rin ang kaba.

"She held your face, Seul." sabi ko na may pait na ngiti.

"But I didn't hold her, Mk." sagot niyang nakatitig sa mga mata ko as she keep closer to me until there's almost no more space between us. She's not taking her hands from my face tenderly caressing my cheeks with her thumbs while looking at me tenderly. I just felt my hands rested on her hips, gripping her shirt.

"She kissed you." sunod kong sabi.

"Sa pisngi lang naman, Mk at hindi ako humalik pabalik, hindi ba?" she asked but I didn't say a word. I just nod.

"She hugged you." hirit ko pa and she giggled.

"But I didn't hug her back, di ba?" she asked back and I nod again. Then she flashed that bedimpled smile again, I missed that smile that comforts me. "Nakita mo naman pala lahat bakit ka pa rin umalis?" malambing niyang tanong.

"I got scared." sagot ko

"Saan?" taas kilay niyang tanong habang haplos haplos pa rin ang mukha ko.

"That when we see each other, you might not look at me the way you look at me before she came?" pagtatapat ko and she let out a silent laugh then moved her face closer to mine looking at me as if memorizing every detail in my face.

"Nang kausap ko si Sunmi, sabi ko sa isip ko ano kaya pag biglang dumating si Irene tapos sugurin niya kami at awayin niya ako tapos si Sunmi. Iniisip ko pa lang ay kinikilig na ako, kasi makikita kong magselos ang Kumander Irene ko." she said smiling. "Pero hindi mo ginawa, tumakbo ka." 

"She's your ex."

"Anong kinalaman non sa pagsugod mo kung nakita mo kami?"

"She's your first."

"Pero nasa yo na ang puso ko ngayon, Irene."

"Mas matagal kayong nagsama."

"Pero mas mahal kita, Mk."

"She's beautiful."

"Mas gusto ko ang ganda mo, Irene."

"Seulgi..."

"Shhh. Tama na Irene. Walang pupuntahan ang takot mo dahil wala ka namang dapat ikatakot. Mahal kita at ngayon alam ko na..." she said while looking directly into my eyes.

"Ang alin?" I asked but she didn't answer. Instead she closed the little distance that we have and lock her lips to mine. It was a sweet and tender kiss, pulling a little then kissed me again as if testing, teasing. I can't explain the sensation with just a kiss from her. I feel lost. Totally lost as I feel her kisses. I felt her gently kissed my upper lip, then my lower lip while I realized I've responded to her kisses gently and tenderly like how she kisses me. Then she gave one long and tender kiss before finally pulled herself. I was left hanging with my eyes still closed and half open mouth. Heaven, her kiss is heaven and I can't seem to recover. To think that it was just a kiss. Until I opened my eyes and saw her sweetly staring at me her eyes reflected the happiness I feel.

"Y-you kissed me." I said at tumango lang siya.

"Hmmm." sagot niya lang still holding my face.

"That means?" I asked.

"Oo... Dahil ngayon alam ko na. Mahal mo na rin ako." sagot niya.

"You mean?"

"Oo." she answered all smile.

"Sabi mo mahirap sumagot pag sobrang masaya." I argued.

"Matagal na akong masaya, Mk. Mula ng dumating ka mas lalo akong sumaya." she reasoned.

"So it's a yes?"

"Oo nga kulit eh." sabi na niya and I can't help what I'm feeling that i hugged her so tight.

"Sh.it Seul, ganito pala ang feeling ng sinagot. I can't explain." I said hugging her so tight."Sh.it. I feel like shouting, screaming." I said giggling.

"Hala Mk, walang murahan." I heard her chuckled. I released her from my hug and held her face.

"L-love? can I call you Love?" I asked excitedly.

"Oo naman. Banyaga ng Mahal? Basta ako Mk kita." bulong niya.

"Sige Mk na rin." I said, nalilito na ako na naeexcite and gave her one deep kiss on her lips. "I love you Mk." I said.

"Mahal din kita, Mk." sabi niya na mukhang gulat pa sa halik ko.

"Kiss me more." lambing ko my hands still on her face. "Please." sabi ko and she smile. I felt her hands on my face and she closed our gap again. She kissed me gently and tenderly. I'm melting, I can't seem to get enough of her. When I felt her releasing my lips I held her face and tenderly caressed her, pulled her closer and deepen our kiss. I heard her moan. Gosh, the more I don't want this kiss to end just soon. I slowly wrapped my hands around her neck to hold her more closer while I felt her arms slowly moving around my back. We're kissing senseless and I'm drowning with our kisses, our heads are doing movements, shifting from other sides. We're at lost and we don't know how long we've been kissing until I felt her pulling away.

"S-saglit Mk. Hinga muna ako." she said panting and I burst out laughing while catching my own breath.

"Sorry, Mk. Sobra lang akong nasabik sa'yo." I said while hugging her and giving her gentle pat and tenderly caressing her back while her head is resting on my shoulder. Then I felt her kissed my neck.

"Mahal na mahal kita, Mk. Huwag mo na ulit akong tatakbuhan ha?." she said still breathing heavily.

"Yes Mk, sorry. Hindi na mauulit." I whispered just then we heard a gentle knock on the door.

"Anak, maari ka bang makausap?" we heard Tita Cristy.

"Opo Nay. Saglit po." Seul said but before she walk to the door I stopped her.

"Sorry Mk." while wiping her lips with smudge of lipstick and she did the same with me. "Nagkalat tayo." I jokingly said and she gave me another quick kiss in my forehead then walked to open the door with me in tow.

"Nay." tawag ni Seul pagbukas ng pinto at pareho kaming nagmano kay Tita Cristy. Nasa likod niya si Ate Yeon and I just nod and smile at her.

"Maayos na ba kayong nagkausap?" Tita Cristy asked and Seul nodded blushing. Nagusap na kami may bonus pa sagot ko sa isip ko.

"Paumanhin po Nay sa inasal ko kanina." Seulgi apologized.

"Nauunawaan kita, Anak. Pero mukhang pinaiyak mo si Irene." pansin ni Tita Cristy na nakatingin sa akin. Seulgi touch her nape as if confirming what her mother observed then she held my hand.

"Nagusap lang po kami Nay" she said then she looked at me and back to Tita Cristy ang Ate Yeon. "Ahm... Nay. Ate...kami na po ni Irene." she shyly said habang hawak pa rin ang batok.

"Ha?!" gulat na tanong ni Tita Cristy pero we saw Ate Yeon smiling.

"Bakit po Nay?" tanong ni Seul na biglang nagalala.

"Talaga naman kayong mga bata kayo. Kaninang pag akyat niyo akala ko maghihiwalay na kayo. Iyon pala ngayon pa lang naging kayo? Hay naku ibang klase na talaga mga kabataan ngayon." Tita Cristy said and we laughed at her. But she looked at us, then to me and said. "Welcome sa pamilya, Hija. Salamat sa pagtanggap mo sa anak ko. Alam ko hindi ito magiging madali sa inyo. Pero kailangan ang pagmamahal, tiwala at pananalig." she said and held my face. I hugged her and felt Ate Yeon's hand caressing my back.

"Salamat po Tita Cristy. Ate Yeon" I said.

"Nanay na ang itawag mo sa akin." ngiting sabi ni Tita Cristy and I blushed. "O siya tayo nang maghapunan." aya na niya.

As we're about to go down ay naririnig namin na parang nagkakagulo ang mga tao sa baba, as if someone just arrived.

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