Giselle

I admit na nagpapanic ako kapag nandiyan si Ning or malapit siya sa akin since nung nag-declare ako na may boyfriend na ako. It was so selfish of me if I continue to make Ning hopeful, kasi I feel it. I know Ning likes me more than a friend and I admit na na-enjoy ko ung attention niya since it's the first time I feel it lalo na from a girl. 

I was convinced na I'm straight ever since, kasi I like boys and I enjoy watching them. But lately, it was weird for me to feel something lalo na kay Ning. She was a great friend and I love to be on her side, naging greedy ako to the point na gusto ko na sa akin lang attention niya. Then I realize na I was so selfish kasi I just let Ning na maging sweet sa akin, lalo na yung day na Karina talk to me about my feelings with Ning.

I decided to say 'yes' kay Jeno na matagal ng nanliligaw sa akin. He was great, gentleman and makes me feel comfortable. But he can't make me feel like what Ning makes me feel. I badly missed her, madalas pa siyang wala kapag nakain kami sa labas nila Karina at Winter.

I had an earful scolding from Karina na hindi daw tama ginawa ko, I'm using other person to desperately avoid facing my feelings kay Ning.

It's been weeks since umiwas si Ning sa amin kaya lalo ko naman siya namiss. Minsan ako naman nag-aadjust para makasama si Ning kila Karina.

One day, I saw Winter na lumabas from their dorm and it's Saturday. Tinawag ko si Winter at agad naman siya napalingon sa akin.

"Where are you going Winter?" I asked

"Secret" 

"Whatever, nandiyan ba si Ning sa dorm?" alam ko naman wala siya tuwing weekend pero wala eh, namimiss ko siya; nagbabakasakali lang

"Hep hep, wag mo na paasahin tropa ko ha. Quota ka na, ship ko pa naman kayo pero sasaktan mo lang pala siya hmp" gulat naman ako nang sinabi yun ni Winter

"Is that what you think? pinapaasa ko siya?" 

"Oo Giselle, sobrang magpaka-sad girl si Ning lately at hindi ako makapaniwala na namimiss ko yung makulit na Ningning" frustrated naman na sabi ni Winter.

"Alam mo ba Giselle, I didn't even realize na nahulog na pala siya ng sobra sayo. Sa totoo lang, ako din; I mean hindi ako nahulog sayo ah! Hopeful lang din ako na magiging kayo. But I guess it's not your fault if you don't feel the same way talaga" pahabol niya

I stayed silence, I know it's my fault pero hindi naman kasi totoo na I don't feel the same way. I did something bad, I'm guilty naman; inaamin ko pero alam ko naman may something ako kay Ning but I think I'm scared.

"I saved her Winter" mahina kong sabi kay Winter. Hindi ko alam bakit dito pa kami sa labas nagconfront ni Winter.

"Ano? San mo siya niligtas?" 

"Sa akin, I admit that I have feelings for Ning. But I'm unsure at ayaw ko naman magsettle for less si Ning lalo na kung she deserves something more at hindi yun sa isang katulad kong hindi sure if I can fight for her. I don't want to destroy our friendship because of this." feeling ko naman nangingilid yung luha ko sa mata ko

After ko sabihin yon, naramdaman ko na may biglang humawak sa wrist ko at hinila ako papasok ng dorm nila winter. Napatingin naman ako sa dako ni Winter at nakita ko siya na may playful smile. Humarap naman ako sa taong may hawak ng wrist ko, si Ning. Napalunok na lang ako kasi nakita ko ung expression niya, so calm but I can feel the rage.

Pagkapasok namin sa dorm nila ay dinala naman niya ako sa room niya at ni-lock yung pinto. Nakatitig siya sa akin, ang lalim at feel na feel ko talaga yung rage in her eyes.

"Ano pinagsasabi mo kanina?" tanong niya sa akin, nakakatakot kasi ngayon ko