I sighed as I stared at the gentle night sky. Cool breeze enveloped my body making me hugged myself. I’m currently at the patio in front of the resort, waiting for him. Just like last night, there were thousands of stars shining brightly, scattered at the sky but it doesn’t feel the same. The peacefulness was gone and all there’s left was silence – a deafening one.

Sehun’s words kept on ringing inside my head as I sat there to wait. It’s not like I wanted to be unfair to them. I knew to my heart that I’m hurting him and Jongin-oppa so badly. I have never seen my cousin looked at me like that ever since, like he was so disappointed at me and my choices. Heck, I’m also disappointed at myself too. Why am I being like this?

My train of thoughts were interrupted when I heard some footsteps coming closer and keys dangling. I turned to where the sounds came from and saw Kyungsoo-oppa walking closer to where I am. My mouth parted when I saw his face.

“What happened?” I asked him as I quickly crossed the distance between us and held his cheek using my hand. His left cheek was a bit swollen and even if it was dark, the redness was visible.

My brows were knotted in the middle and I was busy fusing about his swollen cheek that it took me a few minutes later to realized that he did not answer my question. Instead, he was just staring at me with his round eyes full of unspoken emotion. He smiled a little when he noticed that I realized he was staring at me.

“Kyungsoo-oppa?” I asked once again. He shook his head gave off a small smile once again. My eyes darted from his eyes to his hand when he placed it over my hand. He leaned in slightly at my palm before he held tighly. He gently removed my hand from his face and put it down at his side, without letting go.

My attention was at our hands as he does that. The warmth of his hand sent shivers down my spine, making my heart beats rapidly once again. Why does he still has this effect on me? I felt disappointed at myself but still, I can’t stop what I’m feeling.

“Hye Joon-ah…” he called me out softly making me focus my attention back to his eyes. I can feel my knees turning weak when I saw how his brown eyes melt into soft admiration as our eyes locked. My lips parted a bit in awe. Everything around us becomes a blur. He’s all I can see and all I can hear right now was the wild beating of my heart.

“Let’s go for a ride, hm?” he whispered.

And I just found myself nodding at him.

**

We sat down on the sand side by side in silence. Only the sound that cab be heard was crashing of the waves and the soft sound of the engine from the van that was parked behind us. The surrounding was dark except from the line of brightness ahead of us coming from the headlights of the van.

No one bothered to speak up, both of us were lost in our own line of thoughts like how we were during the whole ride. No one wanted to start a conversation. I was just staring blankly outside the window during the ride with the faint radio sound serving as white noise for us when I realized that the van came to stop and we were already in front of the beach.

Funny though, how time flies and how much we both grew apart from each other. Those comfortable car ride we always used to share whenever we chase sun rise was now filled up with dead air. How the whole car ride we shared would always be filled with joyous laughter from the stories we told to each other or his sweet deep voice whenever he sang along to the music that has been playing have became a dull gray one.

I hugged my knees together and stared at the infinite darkness in front of us as loneliness drawn in upon me. We were once happy. There were a comfortable silence between us before. Now only deafening silence was screaming directly inside my ears and it hurts. It hurts to see that how we have come apart from how we were once closed to each other. We were sitting closed to each other but it still feels like we were miles apart.

“H-How are you?” I asked him, trying to break the dead silence around us. I hugged my knees closer to me as if that would give me strength to move forward with the reason of why I wanted to talk to him. This is not how I picture our talk would be, not this quiet and uncomfortable that it actually hurts. What happened to us?

“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo-oppa answered instead. He looked at me and his eyes reflected the same emotions I knew I have in me – sadness and feeling loss. He turned his body to face me and reached for my face to caressed it. I sighed and closed my eyes as warmth crawls through my system once again.

“I miss you oppa…” I whispered and opened my eyes to looked at him. His brown eyes melted once again, reflecting emotions that he wanted to keep in and he smiled sadly at me.

“I’m sorry.” He said once again as he continued to caressed my cheek. I sighed and sat up straight, making his hand fall in between us. I turned my body to looked at him properly. My chest was starting to get heavy once again. My hands balled into fis