“Is everything all set?” I heard my omma’s voice echoed my room soon after the soft knocks she did upon entering. I scanned my packed bags and did a rundown of the list of things I need to brought over to my cousin’s place in my head.

“Yes, I think I’ve got everything packed.” I said as I looked at her. She walked by me and held my shoulders with both hands.

“Are you sure about this? The Australia off-“

“Omma, I’m sure about this. The offer from Australia is tempting but I don’t want to live far away from you guys. Besides, the university where Jongin-oppa’s currently studying at also offers the same quality of education the university in Australia is offering. I might not live here while studying but at least I can go home if I want during weekends and breaks.”

“Alright, I guess I won’t win that argument huh?” she said chuckling, as she enveloped me in her arms. I chuckled softly inside her hug as I nod my head.

“I’m going to miss my baby Joonie…” she cooed at my ears while starting to rock me side by side.

“Omma…” I grunted in response. She knows how much I hate to be called like that. I’m already 20 years old now but she still calls me that nickname that I have when I was still a baby. She just laughed at me but I felt her arms tighten around me.

“You take care of yourself there, okay? Omma and appa won’t be around to help you right away, although you have Jongin and your Auntie there. But still, be extra careful alright? Don’t stress yourself too much okay?” she said, but I could feel that she’s starting to tear up. Sadness started to conquer my system at the thought that I will not be able to see them as often as I want.

I’m not an only child as I have a little brother that will be left behind with them. This is also not new to us since I have been coming over to Jongin-oppa’s house every vacation for a couple of weeks. But now that I’ve think about it, this would be the first time that I would be leaving the house for a long time. I could go home on school breaks but that would depend if I would be free from school works that time.

“I will omma. Take care also, ne? All of you, appa, Sejoon and you okay? I’ll study there where Jongin-oppa is to reach for my dreams. So that in the future, appa and you won’t have trouble working and I will be able to provide for you guys as well.” I told her as I slowly cried in her arms. I’m scared to be away from them. My mother’s arms have been my sanctuary whenever I am facing problems and my father’s words encouraged me to be strong in every step in my way. Without them by my side, it suddenly feels so scary.

“You’ll do well Hye Joon-ah, we believe in you. Just call us whenever you need us okay? We love you.” she said as she kiss my temple and pats my head softly to comfort me.

*

With few hours of travel we finally reached Jongin-oppa’s house. My whole family come with me to send me off which I am thankful off. I have spared another few hours with them before finally saying good bye.

“Noona, hyung’s house?” Sejoon, my 4 year old little brother, asks as he pointed out the house he can see outside the window. He is currently sitting on my lap, his head is on my chest, using it as his pillow. I carried him as we step outside the car and walked in front of the gate to show him around.

“Yes baby, that’s Jongin-oppa’s house. It looks nice isn’t?” I ask him as I pointed it out as well. Our cousin’s house is a two-floor house with a small porch in front of it. Since Auntie is gifted with green thumb, they also have a small garden in front as well, just after you reach their gate. A small swing was placed on the right side of the garden while there’s a garage on its left side.

It’s a big house actually, considering that only Auntie and Jongin-oppa were the only ones living here. Oppa has a older sister but she is currently staying with my Uncle in Seoul. It’s not my story to tell and oppa didn’t really tell me the reason why they are having this kind of living setup when their parents are not actually really separated.

“Hm, big house. Will Sejoon, omma, appa live here too?” he ask me as he looks at me with his innocent eyes. I sighed at his question, I know that he is still a baby and since we are so close to each other, he’s use in seeing me every day. His question is hard to answer knowing that I know he can feel the sadness in our aura since we left our house.

“No baby, Noona is the only one living here with Jongin-oppa.” I told him. He frowned at my answer and slowly his tears are forming in his eyes.

“N-no. N-Noona lives with Sejoonie, omma and appa. Why noona live with Jongin-hyung without Sejoonie?” he mumbles as he clutch my tshirt tightly, not wanting me to go. I looked at omma who is now beside my appa, helping him with my luggages. She just shook her head and smile sadly at me.

“Noona needs to study here baby. My school is here. Noona wants to live with you as well,