Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance

Summary: "When a heart breaks, no, it don't break even", a famous song said.

Does it matter?

Or what matters is what the heart realized after.

Word Count: 6291

Hashtag: #IntoTheKangBiVerse_AfterAll

 

After All

 

"Where's Hyewon?"

 

It's the question that welcomed Eunbi as soon as she arrived at her friend's birthday dinner. Since they got together, they made friends with each other's circle. They usually come together on such occasion. But tonight, she came alone.

 

"I reminded her this morning and I've been calling her before I came here but she doesn't pick up", Eunbi explained.

 

"Maybe she's working overtime."

 

"Why is she not picking up? Too busy?"

 

"She forgot about it."

 

"Don't jump to conclusions... you're making the girlfriend worried."

 

"Try calling her again, she never missed coming along with you. She must have a reason."

 

Eunbi called Hyewon again as her friends wait on what's going to happen. She put her phone down as her girlfriend still won't answer her call. She tried to hide her worry and took it lightly.

 

"Let's keep going, maybe she'll call later. Let's drink, come on!", Eunbi said as she grabbed a bottle of beer and chugged almost half of it. She doesn't want to ruin her friend's birthday celebration so she kept her phone inside her bag. They enjoyed silly conversations, ate so much food and drown themselves with alcohol. They didn't realize the time and they almost forgot that Hyewon didn't came until someone opened it up.

 

"Eunbi... it's a sign..."

 

"What?"

 

"Not answering your calls, forgetting certain occasions... it's a sign."

 

"A sign of what?"

 

"A sign of break up coming soon"

 

Eunbi didn't respond while her other friends had a commotion, some are agreeing and the others oppose it. She finished her beer and took her phone from her bag. A text message from Hyewon came. She read it silently.

 

"I'm sorry, babe. I forgot about it. I was asked to take an overtime. Are you still there? I'll go there now. Sorry."

 

Eunbi let out a sigh as she kept her phone again.

 

"She's coming", she blurted out making her friends stop their commotion.

 

"Really?"

 

"So, what's her reason?"

 

"What's her alibi?"

 

"She said she forgot. She took an overtime", Eunbi uttered with a soft tone.

 

"Excuses..."

 

"Hey! Don't be quick to judge, it's not like this happens every time."

 

"I know. But I'm telling you, this is just the start. So Eunbi, you better watch out."

 

"You're not helping so shut your mouth. Let's not add unnecessary thoughts on our friend. We're just confusing her. Let's not do that."

 

"It's okay. Let's stop making a fuss out of this. Let's just enjoy the night", Eunbi said as she grabbed another bottle of beer to drink.

 

After a while, Hyewon arrived. She kissed Eunbi's cheek and whispered "I'm sorry". She greeted everyone and apologized to them as well. When they sat down, Hyewon held Eunbi's hand as she glanced at her. They smiled at each other. The night went by without them knowing. The group was mostly drunk including Eunbi. They called it a night then said goodbye to each other. Hyewon guided Eunbi as they stepped out and went to the parking lot.

 

"Give me your keys, I'll drive you home", Hyewon said.

 

"You... didn't... bring... your car?” Eunbi asked.

 

"I did. I'll just come back for it. Let's go home."

 

Hyewon dragged Eunbi inside the car.

 

"It's been a while since you got this drunk", she uttered.

 

"Yeah... It's... been a while... since I had... a lot of... thoughts... in my... head", her girlfriend replied.

 

The drive to Eunbi's place was quiet. Hyewon kept glancing at her drunk girlfriend on the passenger's seat. Eunbi just stared outside the window. She didn't blabber about anything. They didn't say anything, for now. When they reached Eunbi's house, Hyewon brought her girlfriend to her room. She helped her change clothes and told her to sleep already.

 

"We won't... talk about... what happened?", Eunbi asked.

 

"You're drunk. Let's talk about it tomorrow", Hyewon replied.

 

"Do...you...want to...break up...with me?"

 

"What?"

 

"Break...up..."

 

"I just missed your calls and forgot your friend's birthday, where did break up come from?"

 

"I...love...you..."

 

Hyewon tucked Eunbi to bed and sat beside her.

 

"I love you too."

 

"Just...stay...here."

 

"I can't. I need to go to work early tomorrow...later..."

 

"Let's...talk...later..."

 

"Okay. Sleep now. I'll leave when I know you're already asleep."

 

Hyewon stayed beside Eunbi. What Eunbi asked earlier crossed her mind. She let out a sigh as she caressed her girlfriend's head. After a while, she kissed Eunbi's forehead and quietly left the room.

 

***

 

"Good morning, babe! How are you feeling? I'm sorry I can't stay with you last night. I'm on my way to the office now. I love you."

 

A curve was formed from Eunbi's lips as she read Hyewon's message to her. She almost forgot her hangover and everything that happened yesterday.

 

"My head hurts but I can manage. Sorry for being a nuisance last night. I'll get going too. I love you."

 

After replying to Hyewon, Eunbi recalled what took place yesterday. She remembered their conversations, the silence on the way home, her asking about break up. It made her think again.

 

"You are never a nuisance to me. It's me who is sorry. I'm sorry, babe. Let's have dinner this weekend. Let me make it up to you."

 

Hyewon's text erased all her negative thoughts. She smiled again. "Maybe I'm just making a big deal out of it", she told herself.

 

Hyewon and Eunbi went to their respective work place. Just like what they used to do, they send text messages or quick phone calls to each other when they are at work. Eunbi was surprised on one of Hyewon's texts to her.

 

"You look pretty on the new photo you posted on Instagram."

 

She got confused because she hasn't opened her Instagram yet that day. The last photo she posted was food and not a selca or a photo of her taken by someone. She was going to ask about it when Hyewon sent another text.

 

"Sorry, babe, wrong send, it's for my college friend."

 

"Ah...okay. I was about to ask... Anyway, see you this weekend, babe."

 

"See you. I love you."

 

***

 

Arriving at the restaurant Hyewon picked, Eunbi scanned the place to look for her girlfriend. A staff approached her asking if she made a reservation. Hyewon didn't mention about it so she said no but she politely asked if there's a reservation under Hyewon's name. There is. Eunbi made a call to her girlfriend to confirm it. The phone just kept on ringing. "It's a reservation for us. What am I thinking?" Eunbi told herself. She was ushered to their table still trying to contact Hyewon. Finally, her girlfriend picked up.

 

"Babe?"

 

"You made a reservation?"

 

"Yeah"

 

"You didn't tell me."

 

"Surprise!"

 

"Where are you?"

 

"Here"

 

"I've been calling..."

 

"I picked up something."

 

"I called to confirm the reservation."

 

"Why? It's for us."

 

"Just come here quickly."

 

"Okay. I'm on my way to you."

 

Eunbi was in the ladies room when Hyewon arrived. Returning to their table, she was greeted with a bouquet of flowers and a soft peck on the lips.

 

"Thank you...for the flowers."

 

"You're welcome. Did you have an issue about the reservation?"

 

"Ah... no, I just didn't know. The staff ushered me here."

 

"Let's eat."

 

Just like what they used to, they talked about random things while eating. Eunbi wanted to bring up what happened on her friend's birthday and the wrong sent text message but she kept hesitating because she feels like she's just being paranoid. It didn't take long before Hyewon noticed Eunbi's behavior.

 

"Tell me."

 

"What?"

 

"You want to say something."

 

"Ah..."

 

"Is it about me being late and not picking up your calls that day?"

 

Eunbi nodded.

 

"Are you upset because I wasn't able to answer your calls and I came really late for your friend's party?"

 

"Hmmm...a little..."

 

"A little? But you asked me about break up when I brought you home."

 

"It's because I'm drunk."

 

"You're honest when you're drunk."

 

"Okay, fine. I got worried because you're not like that. You answer my calls right away. You don't forget occasions we agreed to go together..."

 

"So you thought I was ditching you?"

 

"No. I'm just not used to you being like that."

 

"I'm sorry. Work got in the way. That's it. Sorry if I showed you a side of me you're not used to."

 

"I'm sorry too. I think I was overthinking."

 

Hyewon took the glass of wine then clinked their glasses before drinking.

 

"Is there anything more?"

 

"The text message"

 

"Ah... wrong send."

 

Eunbi forced a smile while Hyewon took her phone then showed her girlfriend a photo posted on Instagram.

 

"I recently caught up with my college friend. I found out she's been doing modeling as a sideline. We were texting earlier so it got mixed up."

 

Eunbi continued browsing the photos posted.

 

"She's beautiful", she commented as she returned Hyewon's phone.

 

"She is. Modeling suits her. But you're the prettiest to me."

 

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

 

"It's the truth. You're the most beautiful to me."

 

Eunbi chuckled. They finished their dinner then went to Eunbi's place. This time, Hyewon stayed the night.

 

***

 

As the days went by, Eunbi can't help but notice that something is off. Yes, they see each other but it's not like what it used to be. Lately, she's feeling that Hyewon doesn't love her anymore. A part of her felt that she's the only one holding on. This is how she saw their situation but she's too afraid to face it head on. She kept telling herself that they still can make it through. But reality hits her everytime. It takes two people to make a relationship work, although sometimes it only needs one to break it.

 

Waking up beside each other, Eunbi and Hyewon cuddled longer. For some reason, they didn't talk to each other. They are lying in each other’s arms as if words are not needed or as if they can't utter anything. A weird atmosphere greeted them that morning.

 

"Do you plan to cuddle all day?" Hyewon asked to break the long silence since they both woke up.

 

"Can we?" Eunbi replied tightening her hug towards her girlfriend.

 

Hyewon didn't respond, she just gave what Eunbi asked for. She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. Eunbi smiled as she closed her eyes. Time passed by as the two stayed cuddled in bed until they fell asleep again. When Eunbi opened her eyes, there's no one beside her. She would normally get back to sleep because she knows Hyewon is just outside the room waiting for her to wake up. But this time, the feeling is different. She was afraid that her girlfriend left her alone without saying goodbye. Her paranoia kicked in. She quickly got up and stepped out of the bedroom. Hyewon was in the kitchen cooking. Eunbi ran towards her and hugged her from behind.

 

"Why? Did you have a bad dream?"

 

"No. I thought you left me."

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing"

 

"Go wash up first, I'm almost done. Let's eat."

 

Sitting opposite each other, Eunbi and Hyewon ate together. Exchanging glances once in a while, feeding each other and some silence in between. In the middle of their meal, Eunbi blurted something that made Hyewon put her utensils down.

 

"Don't say it", Eunbi said while looking straight into her girlfriend's eyes.

 

"What do you want me to say then?" Hyewon asked.

 

"Say that you love me."

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you too."

 

Eunbi suddenly left the table and went to the washroom. She saw herself in the mirror as she realized that she's not being paranoid. She doesn't want to admit it though she knew what's going on. She's not ready for it. Just the thought of it hurts her. Hearing the words "Let's break up" would shatter her. She'd rather hear her girlfriend utter "I love you" even though it's a lie. She let out a deep sigh as she tried to gather herself. After a few more minutes, she stepped out of the bathroom and went back to the kitchen but Hyewon wasn't there anymore. A note was left on table instead.

 

"We need to talk. I have to tell you something. Tell me when you're available." – Hyewon

 

Eunbi crumpled the note. She's finding it hard to accept that their relationship is coming to an end. They have plans and promises to each other. They even promised forever. But now, everything will be over as she realized where this will lead. She started to wonder what went wrong.

 

"Is it me?"

 

"Is there someone new?"

 

"She doesn't love me anymore?"

 

"Are we really breaking up?"

 

The days went by without communication with each other. It's like the calm before the storm. It took over a week before Eunbi responded to Hyewon's desire to talk. She agreed to meet-up. She braced herself on what she was about to hear. A few days of silence made her realize the real status of their relationship; it's coming to an end. She came with a conclusion that she needed to hear her girlfriend say it. That way, her heart won't break slow, she won't have to assume things and be paranoid. When she hears it, she'll get hurt with one blow. Then, it's the end. It's the scene she pictured in her head heading to the place where she agreed to meet Hyewon.

 

"Let's break up", Eunbi uttered.

 

Hyewon was surprised on what she heard.

 

"Is that what you wanted to say?" Eunbi continued.

 

There was a short silence before Eunbi spoke again.

 

"Can I at least know the reason, I think I deserve that"

 

Hyewon took a deep breath as she faced Eunbi.

 

"I love you. I'm sorry. I don't think I'm ready to commit in this relationship anymore. You deserve someone better. While we're together, I realized I still needed to grow on my own. A part of me always feels that I can be better. You didn't do anything wrong. I don't have someone new. It's just...I needed this, space. I love you but I need to do this. Prolonging it won't do us any good. I hope you can forgive me…"

 

"Just say it, Hyewon."

 

"Let's break up, Eunbi."

 

***

 

A famous song said, "When a heart breaks, no, it don't break even". It may be true or not but each relationship is to its own. But what the song talked about pretty much summarized what Eunbi and Hyewon went through. Eunbi took it hard. She cried buckets of tears. It shattered her. Hyewon got the space she wanted. She went back to living a single life, complete opposite of how her ex-girlfriend handled their break up.

 

After their break up, Eunbi's friends kept telling her, "We told you so". But in the end, they consoled her. They cheered her up anyway they can. When Eunbi wanted to drink and drown herself with alcohol, they were there. If their friend breaks down and cry they just let her be. They listened and gave advice from time to time.

 

Eunbi kept checking on Hyewon once in a while. They broke up but she can't help but look on what her ex is up to. Upon seeing how Hyewon took their break up, Eunbi felt sad as if she's the only one that is suffering. She wondered how can that be.

 

"Maybe, this is what she really wanted"

 

"I bawled my eyes out but she's enjoying her vacation"

 

"Why is this so easy for her?"

 

"She got the freedom she wanted...but here I am, broken"

 

These thoughts crossed her mind as she browsed on Hyewon's Instagram.

 

-----

 

Hyewon went on a vacation after their break up. She went alone. Her love for photography was reignited as she saw breathtaking sceneries. She got everything documented. From photos to videos, she uploaded snippets on her Instagram account. She was happy. One could not tell that she recently broke up with her girlfriend.

 

After her vacation, Hyewon went back to her daily routine, work then go home. She did check on Eunbi once in a while. Judging from her SNS posts, Hyewon felt her sadness. She also contacted their common friends to know how Eunbi is doing but that's it.

 

They handled their break up differently. Some will say that their hearts didn't break even. Others will agree that they equally got hurt but they had their own way of coping. Hyewon turned to photography and video games while Eunbi relied on music, she even found herself writing her own songs. Days, weeks and months went by, the ex-lovers slowly picked themselves up.

 

Hyewon was at a video game store looking for new games she'll play. While looking around, she accidentally bumped into someone.

 

"Sorry", she uttered as she picked up the stuff that fell.

 

"It's okay. Thank you", the customer said.

 

"Is that game nice? I'm actually looking for a new game to play"

 

"Yeah. You'll play all day with this, that's what I heard."

 

"Really? I should get that one too"

 

The customer smiled.

 

"Try this too", the customer said as she handed Hyewon another game.

 

"Oh! Thanks."

 

"You're welcome."

 

"You seemed like a pro gamer…"

 

"Not really. I just like games"

 

"You play LOL (League of Legends)?"

 

"Of course."

 

"Let's play some time."

 

"Sure."

 

"What's your name?"

 

"Sakura. Kkura."

 

"I'm Hyewon. Kang Hyewon."

 

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