Genre: Angst, Drama, Slice of Life

Summary: People can only fall in love five times. Every time that they get their hearts broken, they'd lose one of their core emotions. Hyewon has fallen in love four times that ended in tears the last time she did. Unfortunately, someone who's in the same stage, fell in love with her. And really, she doesn't have the heart to take the woman's only emotion left. What better way it is than to pretend, right? 

Word Count: 8268

Hashtag: #IntoTheKangBiVerse_ComfortablyNumb

 

Comfortably Numb

 

×××××

 

Kang Hyewon loathes— despises even— anything that's noisy.

 

Ever since she was a tinny, tiny baby, her loving parents have already claimed that she was tad a bit sensitive when it comes to noises be it the flap of a fly or a paper. It's not like she has a special case or something, just that, her precious ears can't handle the sound of so much noise happening at the same time. Though, things have changed now that she's an adult and a full-time photographer, she still prefers it to be isolated in a room with no more than 10 people working on the same place as her.

 

What Hyewon doesn't understand right now is why she agreed to go on an amusement park with none other than Kwon 'Gleeful' Eunbi.

 

The screams of the people in front of them and from the people seated on the back deafens her hearings instead of just feeling the vibe of the wind as the rollercoaster climbs up the railings like a snail, but quickly swooshes down like the Flash.

 

But what makes it more irritating is how the girl seated besides her, or aka Eunbi, had been shouting ever since their very first ride.

 

'Dear Lord, may her voice rest in peace.'

 

Hyewon can't remember how her life suddenly took an unexpected turn upon meeting the raven head.

 

One day when she was on her way back home after having a photoshoot with a new rising model, on a rainy day, she bumped into Eunbi who in fact was also in a rush to avoid the upcoming typhoon. What she didn't expect that day was for the woman to pull off one of the most cringes and most cliché line of all time upon meeting someone.

 

"I'm sorry, are you hu—"

 

Hyewon raised her brow at the gaping woman before nodding and mumbling an apology as she makes way for the woman to pass by on the busy crossroad.

 

"I'm sorry I didn't see you there. You took me by surprise when you suddenly fell down from heaven."

 

'Oh no.'

 

Oh no indeed, Ms. Kang.

 

Hyewon knew what that look was.

 

It was like a puppy being born and finding out that the milk from its mother was a drink made from heaven.

 

She had seen that look countless of times 

 

She has seen plenty of her friend looking at their respective lovers with the same gaze that the stranger was currently emitting just by looking at Hyewon, who also used to look at her past lovers with those same gaze.

 

 You see, it would have been fine with someone falling head over heels for her at first sight if only they were living in a normal society, but no.

 

In their world, people can only fall in love five times. Not only that, but every time that they get their hearts broken, they'd lose one of their most valued core emotions consisting of; Happiness, sadness, fear, anger, and disgust.

 

Unfortunately, Hyewon had already gotten her heart broken for the total of four times that ended in a painful jaw with soaked clothes the last time she did.

 

And another unfortunate moment, the woman, who is Kwon Eunbi, was also in the same stage as her. Yeah, some sick Romeo and Juliet modern version this is.

 

That was 9 months ago, and ever since then after their fifth meeting or so, she just had to lie straight at the woman's face that their feelings were indeed mutual.

 

So much for trying to conserve her remaining emotion.

 

"Haunted house! Haunted house!" Eunbi chanted after getting off from the wild ride that got Hyewon praying to God to have mercy on her poor ears that had probably gone deaf because of all the screams and shouts that happened the entire ride.

 

"Aren't you tired yet?"

 

"Tired? Me? Of course not, silly! That's kind of like asking my mother if she still has diapers in stock. Besides, we've only  ridden at least 2/3 of the rides here."

 

Of course, having to pretend has its pros and cons. The pros is that she gets to have free food every time that the gleeful woman asks her out on a date, like today. The cons being having no power to deny the requests of the woman no matter how much she badly wants to just text the latter her apology letter for playing with her.

 

But it's been months now. She can probably last until the woman falls out of love or something. 

 

'Or something, what the hell does that even mean.'

 

"Good day, ladies! Please do claim your coupon for the limited selling of 'Sushi House of Sashimis'. Thank you, and enjoy!"

 

The lady, dressed in a hideous outfit with mascara and lipstick stains making her look more like a clown than a white ghost, said with quite a teasing remark by the end of her sentence, because people weren't supposed to be happy over someone's agony while going through a panic attack inside the spooky escape room of a haunted house.

 

Once inside, Hyewon's left arm was already being hugged tightly by Eunbi who looks as if she was ready to faint with how much scary it was.

 

It really wasn't that scary.

 

The cowering woman was probably just exaggerating, because honestly? Hyewon can't feel no chill running down her spine.

 

Kidding. You see, fear had long been gone from her system, so that's why she can put up a brave mask right now.

 

But for Eunbi, Hyewon is supposed to also be simultaneously as scared as she is.

 

So, Hyewon nonchalantly let out a scream with a neutral look when a zombie came crawling at them like a maniac with Eunbi already drilling her fingernails on Hyewon's poor, poor arm.

 

It's okay.

 

All is well, this would be over soon.

 

Hyewon would just have to be patient with the happy woman.

 

By the end of the day, having her ears deafened and arm bruised was worth it after having the taste of the heavenly taste of the sashimi hit her taste buds.

 

×××××

 

"What's your word, hummingbird?"

 

Hyewon harshly rubbed the sleepiness away from her eyes when a beaming Eunbi greeted her.

 

"Eunbi, it's 2 AM. What in the world could you possibly be doing here?" Hyewon groggily asked, but nonetheless still pulled her door wide open for the raven head to enter her humble abode.

 

"Nothing much, just wanted to see you since I'll be going away for a few days."

 

'Woman, it's only for a few days, you'll be able to live without seeing me for the mean time.'

 

"What? Why?" She piped interest.

 

"My company is sending me to go abroad for a quote very important quote again meeting. My flight is 7 hours from now, so might as well spend a few minutes here before I temporarily leave the country."

 

If Eunbi was feeling sad about it, Hyewon was already celebrating deep inside her because no Eunbi for a few days means 1) she'll get to have her 'me' time which is just staying at her apartment and binge-watching her favorite shows, 2) she won't have to showcase her practiced expressions towards the woman for a few days giving her jaw and cheekbones some rest before they once again serve their purpose.

 

"That ."

 

"I know, we won't be able to go on our dates."

 

Hyewon tried her best to not grimaced when the woman jutted her lips.

 

"Don't worry, it would only be for a few days. Once you return we can have a date at that new restaurant that just opened."

 

'yEAH nO, what the actual frack?'

 

Eunbi gave a tired smile before bidding her a farewell. Hyewon tried her best to give the most believable sad smile that she could muster before returning the hug that the former  initiated before finally going out the latter's apartment.

 

With her sleepiness going away the instant she got off from her bed, Hyewon sighed for the doom that she is about to face for the remaining hours before her designated clock took off; lack of sleep.

 

Of course, Hyewon never really told Eunbi that she has a sleeping schedule that she follows consecutively every day for the past 26 years of her life. She couldn't because then she'd feel quite a bit guilty if ever she saw the woman's sad face.

 

"What to do,"

 

On another hand, she could just do her paper works that's due next month since she's 1000% sure that she wouldn't be falling back asleep soon.

 

A ding snapped Hyewon out from her thoughts and immediately took her phone just to see that Eunbi, who had just disturbed her sleep, had sent her a picture inside her car on a red light.

 

Yep, she won't be getting any sleep soon.

 

[missing you already ;-;]

 

She received once again, followed by a series of every sad emoticons that are available.

 

××××××

 

"What's the gist, physicist?" Hyewon greeted this time just as she had opened the door for Eunbi who looked as if she was in a rush to see her (which is the truth).

 

Like how Hyewon had finished binge watching 2 of her favorite series (though feels nothing at all when watching them, but meh, it was a sight to see) during the time of Eunbi's absence, the day quickly came when the latter had to come barging in to her apartment on a bright day that's a Sunday which is her day off back.

 

"We literally saw each other 3 days ago, and weren't you supposed to be back tomorrow?"

 

"I kind of got excited to see you again, so surprise! Hehe."

 

'God, why did you give people the ability to giggle?'

 

"Aren't you tired from your flight?" Hyewon managed to ask while trying not to break free from the embrace.

 

Why was it so hard to pretend?

 

Maybe if you were honest right from the start, then you would have spared the poor woman her last heartbreak, you imbecile.

 

'Shut up.'

 

"Not at all! I mean, earlier I was yeah, and these past few days because of how hectic it was trying to negotiate with close minded people, BUT all in all I have already fully recharged!" Eunbi beamed.

 

'Please don't keep on giving me that smile of yours. You're just making it harder for me to come clean.'

 

×××××

 

As promised, Hyewon brought the still beaming, and clingy Kwon Eunbi to the restaurant that just opened a few blocks away from her apartment.

 

'Not @myself calling my humble abode an apartment when it's a condominium for Pete's sake.'

 

If there's also one thing that Hyewon is an expert at, it's talking to her own sub consciousness.

 

Hyewon wordlessly gulped down the remaining bits of her food. She really loathes it every time that they go out because she is once again reminded that she can never enjoy the things that she once do. At least the food was delicious, she just really lacks the right emotion to appreciate it.

 

She's always reminded of the things that she no longer felt a certain connection to, all because of stupidly falling in love with people who can never take her seriously till the end. 

 

"Say," Hyewon turned to look at Eunbi, already done with her meal and is patiently waiting for Hyewon to finish up, who’s looking at the other customers around them who wore different expressions depending on their emotions, while some have a neutral and blank look. 

 

"What do you think would happen to people once they're at their final heartbreak?"

 

Hyewon choked. Literally. 

 

She once again looked around if there was anything Eunbi saw that could have possibly gotten her to think about it.

 

On the other side of the room, there sat a couple who seems to have been going on a break up because Hyewon knew what the look that the lady was currently wearing. It was the same one that Hyewon was also showing when she first got her heartbreak.

 

"Oh, that's..."

 

"Harsh." Eunbi finished.

 

"Why do people let other people fall in love with them but can't even fully reciprocate it? Love for a love, a heartbreak for a heartbreak."

 

Eunbi never talked about her past. All Hyewon knew from the insight of the girl is that Eunbi fell in love with people who had fell out of love from her after just a few months of dating. Quite the same as her, really, but weren't every love stories like that? 

 

"People like them brings back unwanted memories. Well, at least I have you now." Eunbi smiled endearingly at her making Hyewon do the same because of how much accustomed she is when it comes to anything related to Eunbi and showing any kind of emotions.

 

"Me too..."

 

'I'm sorry.'

 

××××××

 

Eunbi's words from earlier was what pushed Hyewon into agreeing to go karaoke even if it wasn't her thing. It was their 5th karaoke ever since they started dating, and can Hyewon say how she has already memorized the song that the raven head always sings every time they do?

 

It's like being a high school student all over again. 

 

Oh, good ol' days.

 

"It's been a long day It's not like it was a day that made me so tired but It's been a long long day Maybe today's just a day I've had too much coffee."

 

Hyewon wonders what it is that Eunbi have went through because of her past lovers as for her to have this so much emotions when singing such a simple song.

 

If only she was as brave than Eunbi then she probably would have jumped too when the latter fell.

 

"I smile with sincerity But for the most part The day's been plastered with fake smiles I feel like a see saw everyday Perhaps something makes me up and down Since the day after you left."

 

If she decided to accept the extra load of paper works thrown to her by her boss the day when they first met, would she have still met Eunbi? She probably won't. If she didn't meet the happy go lucky woman, then she wouldn't have been forcing herself to feel all those emotions that are long gone from her system.

 

Eunbi met Hyewon's eyes that were dimmed because of the thoughts that she's currently having. If they have met in another life that wasn't as frack up as their current one because of losing an emotion when their hearts broke, would it have been different for Hyewon's case?

 

Would she have love Eunbi the same as Eunbi is currently loving her?

 

"I see you Wait, you're not in front of me now I saw you That's right I see you Am I dreaming right now? I saw you."

 

They parted ways with Eunbi pecking the spaced out Hyewon on her cheeks while the latter was busy contemplating with her life decisions.

 

×××××

 

"Love is the 7th sense that destroys all 6 senses which then in return would make people nonsense." 

 

It was a fine and sunny day when Eunbi asked Hyewon to tell some facts that she has yet to know. 

 

When Eunbi stared at Hyewon as if the latter had grown another head, Hyewon frowned and thought about what could have possibly be wrong with what she said. 

 

"What?"

 

"That has got to be one of the most dumbest thing I've heard in my entire life." Eunbi even shook her head to show that what Hyewon was nonsense, until her eyes widen. "Oh, wait, so that's why you're somehow making no sense!" She disses brightly.

 

"I— you didn't have to slander me like that." Hyewon frowned.

 

"Oww, is Ms. Kang getting mad over a silly joke?"

 

'How I wish to still hold that emotion in me.'

 

Hyewon squinted her eyes to make it look like she really was angry with the not-so dissing of Eunbi. Besides, she wasn't really feeling it since the place brought out so many unwanted memories regarding her past lover.

 

"Whatever."

 

They both sat in silence afterwards. Just watching the people around them to pass by them. 

 

Hyewon would have to give a point to Eunbi for bringing her out since the cherry blossoms are also just starting to bloom, making it a lot more aesthetic to watch the breeze  as it gently sways around the park where they are currently having a semi-picnic date.

 

Speaking of date,

 

"By the way, you asked me the last time that we went out what I would think would happen if people's heart break for the last time, right? Care to share the reason why you suddenly asked?"

 

It's not like Hyewon is clueless about it, but she never had any acquaintance of hers who had went through it. She's heard about it, yes, but seeing someone who actually is void of emotions? Never. She also doesn’t know what really happens once they’re void of it.

 

"Ahh," Eunbi nodded her head, also recalling the question she asked a few days back.

 

"Just that, I've seen how a few of my friends lost all their emotions. I wasn't there the day of their final heartbreak, and hell, I'd never wish to see just how painful it must have been from them. My best friend, specifically, was in a happy relationship of 3 years, going 4." Eunbi looked at Hyewon to see if she was still listening in which the latter only nodded, signaling for her to continue.

 

"Today was supposed to be their 5th anniversary, actually. Part of the reason why I wanted to go out with you today is because it reminds me of my moments with my best friend that I'll never get to experience again, because you see, once people experience their final heartbreak, they would forget everything." 

 

Hyewon sharply inhaled when she heard the last part.

 

"What do you mean they'd forget everything?"

 

"They'd forget the reason why they got their hearts broken and the people who are the cause of it. The worst part? They'd forget every bits of their memories that are associated with any emotions."

 

"We have been best friends for all the years of our lives, so when I showed up to her place one day and she didn't know who I was, I swear I would have cried right then and there when I saw how empty she looked. It's kind of like amnesia, but worse. We were the opposite, actually. She was the most outgoing and more joyful between the two of us. I was more of the timid girl back then when we both still have all our emotions present."

 

"But when she was left with sadness while I was stuck with happiness, I decided to carry on what she would always do to me before. It's like our roles got reversed. And there came the person who happened to fall in love with my best friend.”

 

"I trusted that person so much, y'know? I saw how my best friend got happy once again. How scared she looked every time they go on their dates in fear of messing it up. I thought they were the perfect couple. They were planning to get married on their 5th anniversary, then leave the country to live in Zealand, my best friend's dream place. She told me all that, but now she can't even remember me, her very own best friend."

 

"Ah, sorry for ranting. I'm just feeling nostalgic for losing my best friend."

 

Hyewon let out the breath that she has been holding. With how pained Eunbi sounded, she knew for sure that the latter was very much in love with her. Because those whose feelings are genuine and true are the only ones who can feel their emotions coming back.

 

"But I think there's hope that she can at least remember me. Can you even believe it?"

 

"Earlier I went to visit her, you know what she told me?  She said, 'You don't need words to reminisce the past.' I was so shock that I could only smile at her and tell her how my life has been while she just... listened."

 

"Do you think it's possible for her to remember you?" Hyewon asked, feeling something tug at her heart when she saw Eunbi's eyes that are currently glossy.