Sana swear she could feel her heart beating hard against her chest. She could feel her stomach churning from the sudden rush of emotions. Unconsciously, she pressed her hand against her chest, unaware with the worried glances from Momo.

Until the latter asked, “Are you okay?” Momo stared at the other lass concerned, “You don’t have to answer right away. I’m willing to wait, don’t worry.”

Sana breathed deeply before meeting the worried eyes of Momo. Surely, everything she heard from Momo is a shock and she doesn’t know how to react because it is her first time receiving such confession and from the girl she like at that. But she’s happy— ecstatic even. She never imagined that Momo feels the same way even though she was hoping for it.

And then the sudden tightening around her chest reminded her of her condition. She exhaled, trying to calm herself as she doesn’t want the other girl to witness an attack.

God knows how much Sana wanted to say that she feels the same way. That she’s willing to spend the following days with Momo without pretending, that she likes her just as much but the reminders that there’s a high possibility of her leaving any time stops her.

She could leave Momo any time and that means hurting the dancer.

She doesn’t want to hurt Momo.

And so she said the words she would surely regret for the rest of her life.

“I’m sorry, Momo.” She gulped the lump in , forcing herself to stay calm, “I don’t think I like you the same way.”

She lied.

Because the heaven’s knows how much she likes the girl. It might be even love.

But she couldn’t just hurt Momo once she died.

She couldn’t hurt the girl that made her want to live for once.

“You’re stupid.”

Sana called her best friends after Momo sent her home and those are the first words she heard from them. And honestly, she can’t disagree. Because she is.

“You like her, Sana. You feel the same way and yet you lied.” Mina groaned as she sat beside the heartbroken lass, “You’re hurting both of you.”

“I don’t want to hurt her when I die. We all know I can die any time.” Sana defended, avoiding the concern eyes of her best friends, “I don’t know how much time I still have. I don’t know if it would be enough to show her much she means to me.”

“And so you thought that denying your feelings would show her how much she means to you?” Nayeon asked, “That was stupid, Sana. You already hurt her the moment you rejected her.”

“Isn’t it better to hurt her now? You know, than spending more time with her and make her hang to the thought that we could spend forever?”

“Sana.”

“I just don’t want to give her false hope that we’re going to last long.”

“Then, why don’t you make the most out of it?” Nayeon sighed before walking towards the other two, “I hate that you already stopped hoping that you’ll be okay but if that’s it, then why don’t you just spend all those moments with her?”

Sana stared at the oldest, “Nay, I can’t. That would hurt her more.”

Nayeon, seeing the unshed tears in her best friend’s eyes, nodded before engulfing Sana into her warmth. She wanted Sana to understand that those thoughts are just idiotic but she understands that Sana is just scared.

Sana’s just scared to hurt the other girl by leaving her, without any chance of going back.

“We just don’t want you to regret anything, Satang.” Nayeon whispered against the hair of the now crying lass, “We want you to be happy. So please, stop denying your happiness.”

The three of them then spend the entire night together, watching Sana carefully. They are just worried with everything, with Sana on top.

Sana sighed as she caught sight of the dancer on stage as everyone was doing their last rehearsal before the event tonight. Momo was discussing something with Seulgi and Chaeyoung at the right end of the stage, completely unaware of the gazes Sana’s giving her.

“Just talk to her, Satang.” Sana looked at her left and saw Mina looking at where her sight was fixed earlier, “It’s the last day of the deal.”

Sana sighed, “I don’t think that would be necessary. It’ll be easier for her to stop any feelings she has for me.”

Mina looked at her best friend, “I still think you’re stupid.”

Sana chuckled, “I am.”

Mina frowned seeing the usual glow of Sana absent. She wanted to scold her and tell her that everything she did is just stupid but seeing the pain in her best friend’s eyes stopped her.

She never once saw that kind of pain from Sana, even when she learned about her condition, even when her parents almost forgets her being all busy with their business to provide for Sana, even when the doctor told her that she doesn’t have much time to stay.

“You’re hurting.” Mina mindlessly spoke, eyes still trained towards her best friend.

She saw Sana smiling before nodding, “But I think she’s hurting more.” Sana said, still watching Momo carefully.

Mina sighed as they both succumb into silence watching everyone moving carefully around them. Both thinking different things; Mina thinking on how she could make Sana realize that she deserves to be happy; and Sana, of course,