JUNGKOOK'S POV

"Jungkook-ah, wake up! Don't you have a schedule this noon?", my mom nudge my body harshly. I groaned as i opened my eyes and stretched my body. It's noon already, i must have sleep for a long time. My mom left me alone in the room as soon as she knew i had woken up. I look up to the ceiling and staring blankly at my room. When i look beside me, i couldn't find her. I figured, she has a schedule today. I feel the emptiness, i miss her warmth. I patted the pillow she used.

She's gone.
I was hoping i could see her face right after i woke up.

My head's not hurting as much as i expected, but i'm really sleepy. A lot of things happened last night. I still couldn't think straight. I didn't know what am i going to do next. Will it be awkward between us? Our confession last night was really something i wished for since a long time, and it just happened last night in my own room. I was really happy when we both poured out about how our feelings to each other. It feels like a huge weight was lifted off of my chest. But still, there's something that hit me hard after that. 

Her last question.

"What are we now? Is this cheating?"

I still didn't know the answer. I didn't know what to say. We both are in relationship, what worse is that she dated my hyung. I've know hyung longer than her and i didn't want to ruin our friendship that easily. I never thought that we were going through this drama. There were a lot of unanswered questions in my mind.

Wouldn't it better if i confessed her earlier before she dated my hyung?

What about my girlfriend? Am i still in love with her? Should i break up with her?

Will Noona do the same? Will she break up with hyung and just be with me for the rest of our life? 

But she said that she still love Taehyung hyung, am i really okay with that?

What if hyung found out about our secret? What if hyung hated me because i took his girl? I'm sure that it'll affect our relationship and also BTS. I couldn't imagine that. Other members put a lot of dream to be like what we are now, and i'm just going to ruin it because of this?

There're too many questions in my head and when i think about it, made me want to throw up.

You can figure it out by yourself, Jungkook-ah. 
Let's face it like a man. It's your life. You're the one who should lead it.

I was taken back to reality when my phone's ringing so loud. I grabbed my phone and saw who's the caller is. 
My manager.
I sat up then pressed the green button and placed my phone to my right ear.

"Yeoboseyo?", i greeted him with a hoarse voice.

"Yah, did you just woke up?!", he scolded me.

"Anieyo hyung", i cleared my voice. I lied to him. I couldn't take another scolding from him, it makes me feel sick.

"You better get ready, i'll pick you up in 15 minutes", he hung up the call. 

I was about to refused his offer to pick me up. I want to be alone for now. I texted him that he doesn't have to pick me up and i'll be driving by myself. He called me again and i picked it up.

"Jungkook-ah, is everything alright?", he asked.

"Ne hyung, it's just that my mom wants me to drive her to market first. I'll go to our company after that", i lied again. When i have so much trouble in my mind, my face showed it. I don't want people know about that. My insecurities.

"Eo arrasseo. Don't be late", he said.

"Ne hyung", i ended up the call.

I didn't like it when other people try to meddling with my personal space. Sometimes i really hate my manager because of that. They really want to know what happened in my real life. I always draw a line between a business matter and my real life, so i would really appreciate it if they didn't cross it. I have my own life too, i'm just an ordinary person.
I get up on my feet and try to make up my bed. When i went to other side of the bed, i was shocked when i found her personal thing lay on the floor. I chuckled as i took it off the floor.

"Woah jinjja, is she really forget about this?", I shook my head, i can't believed she left this in my room. I'll be damned if my mom or my girlfriend find this first. I took my phone and take a picture of her black bra. I planned to about this later. Then i put her bra on my drawer. 

Not that i want to keep it to myself! I'm not a ert person! 

I'll return this to her as soon as possible or maybe she's the one who is going to pick it up. I look up to the clock and it's just 10 minutes left until our recording start. I rushed myself to the bathroom and do my things.

~*~

"Morning Appa, Eomma", i greeted my parents as i went downstairs. I just wear something casual everytime i go to work. I'm not trying to impress other people anyway, we're just going to have a recording for our new album and some dance practice.

"Morning you say?", my mom furrowed her eyebrows. I giggled, i know it's noon already.

"I'll go to work now, Appa Eomma. I'll coming home next month", i said as i grabbed a bread from the fridge and eat it. Our schedule is really tight nowadays. We prepared for our new album and we really poured out everything on this. Recording, dance practice, meeting, also we have to do a live streaming to our fans.

"Eo arrasseo, take care", Appa said as i hugged him. Then i proceed to hug my mom.

"Don't forget to call us", Eomma said as she hugged me back.

"Ne Appa Eomma, i'm going now. Annyeonghi gyeseyo" i bowed to them as i went to the front door.

"Jungkook-ah", my mom called me. I turned and looked at her. "So how was--?", My mom asked hesitantly. I know what she meant. She asked me about what happened last night, but now i didn't feel like to talk about it.

"I'm late, Eomma. I'll call you later", i said as i opened the door then went to my car.

"Oh okay... i just want you to know that i love you so much and i will always support what decision you made", my mom shouted to me from the front door. She waved goodbye at me. 

"Thank you, Eomma. I love you too.", i waved back while smiling. I'm so glad that i have a supportive parents. My mom never forbid me to date someone as long as i'm being reponsible for everything i did.

I was driving to our company, i took my phone and put it on the bluetooth. Should i call Noona? I missed her already. I'm dying to hear her voice. When i'm about to dial her number, my girlfriend called me. I was kinda surprised. I know i shouldn't be but i feel kinda weird towards my girlfriend after what happened last night. But I've never felt guilt at what I do, because that's how i feel.

Wow.
I know i'm an . 

Maybe i didn't deserve her as my girlfriend.
Sooner or later, i might hurt her feeling.
But i can't keep it anymore, i should tell her that i love somebody else.
Will she ever forgive me if i do that?
I smirked at myself, i also couldn't believe at myself.

I'm a total jerk.

I picked up her call.

"Hi oppa!", she greeted me first.

"Hi", i said coldly.

"I missed you so much, oppa. How are you?", she asked playfully.

"Good. Look, can you call me later? I'm kinda busy now", i lied again. How many times do i have to lie today? Can anyone just leave me alone?

"Oh okay oppa... i love you", she didn't hang up, she must be waited me to say it back to her. I was fighting with my mind right now, i don't know what happened to me. It doesn't feel right. My mouth refused to say 'i love you' to my more-than-2-years girlfriend, but i don't want to hurt her feeling now.

"Yeah me too", maybe that was the safest answer for now.

"Bye op--" when she was about to hang up, i cut her.

"Wait! Can we have a dinner tonight? There's something i want to tell you", i said. Maybe this is the right time to do it. I have to face the consequences, i'm ready.

"Sure oppa! Where are we going?", she sounded so excited. I feel bad for her, i'm about to ruin her life. But at the same time, i know i have to do this. I can't lie to myself anymore. I'm choosing Noona no matter what.

"I'll tell you later, be ready at 8 p.m. Just dress casually, okay?"

"Okay oppa! Bye!", she ended up our call and I could hear her giggles at the end. I slumped over the driver seat. I wanted to shake off this heavy thoughts of mine for today, i know it'll affect my work later. I wanted to be focus while working. So i blast a loud music on my radio, hoping it would help me a little bit

~*~

I drove for 10 minutes and went to BigHit recording studio. We have a recording for 2 hours straight. Only me, RM hyung, and Suga Hyung today. After that, we'll have our dance practice together.

"Oh Jungkook, you're here?", RM hyung greeted me after he saw me coming to the studio. I just nodde