JUNGKOOK'S POV

"Noona can i come over to your place this weekend?"
I called her before my bed time. She finally picked up my call after i tried so many times. 
"No, you can't", she replied.
"Why?"
"Just no, baby"
"Ah why~?", i whined.
I was too desperate to meet her, to see her as i missed her so much here and she already knew that.
"I said no", she was so stubborn, she didn't let me know anything. Wow. Is she mad at me? What did i do wrong?

"But i miss you, Noona. I could not stand the fact that we were not meeting for so long".
"But we just met last week? Besides i really want to focus on my works this time". 
Her tone sound really weird to me and it was not good at all. I never missed anyone this much before, i even never missed my parents this much since i live alone.
"Ah so you're working this weekend?"
"Ugh nooo. I'm going to Taehyung's parent's house in Daegu this weekend".
My heartbeat was suddenly a little bit down. It’s embarrassing to admit I envy their relationship. The guy I’m competing with in the battle for her affection is so tough that it isn’t even a fair fight. It's Kim ing Taehyung.

"Oh okay, have fun", i tried not be bothered by it.
"What?"
"What, what?"
"Jungkook, why are you so calm about this? Are you sure you're okay with it?", she asked.
What did she want? For me to beg her to stay with me?
"I have to be. It's not like i can do anything about it, right Noona?"
A moment of silence passed between us. I continued, "If i said you can't go and stay with me, would you do it?".
"Yes", she said in a really unconcerned way. Is she being serious?
"No. Just go. I'm fine"
"I'm sorry, Jungkook-ah", she apologized then said, "How about next Monday? I'm not staying with Taehyung next week so you can come to my apartment"

Ugh she said his name again. Actually, I've got a bit of a moral dilemma here. Is it wrong to hope they break up so I can at least try to ask Noona out? But wishing that to them...that sort of thing makes me feel like a piece of . I want Noona herself to pick who's going to be her man, who's the best for her. I trust her that much. If she truly loves me, she will be always with me. If she doesn't choose me then... simply i will let her go. It won't be painful anyway.
.
.
.
.
.
I guess? I don't know

We talked for 10 minutes then she said she's feeling sleepy and hung up. When i miss her, I stared at her picture. For a few days it all went like this. She started ignoring my calls, she's not replying to all my messages but only some of them, and she stopped calling me first. I had no clue what was going on. I was just not liking it, besides i was not happy. I feel like we’ve been drifting apart a little, mostly because circumstances have prevented us from spending real time together. She acted weird like this after the day we met. She even asked my ex to meet up with her on that day. I still had no idea what the hell were they talking about. I was trying to figure out what's wrong, so i texted my ex.

Jungkook: Hey, can we meet?
My ex: What? All of a sudden?
My ex: But sure oppa
Jungkook: How about Saturday?
My ex: Okay
My ex: I know you want to ask me about Y/n-ssi, right?
Jungkook: Yes
Jungkook: Okay thanks, i'll text you about the place later
My ex: You're welcome, oppa.

~*~

I sleep and wake up to her face in my mind. I wanted that she loved me more than she loved hyung. Because of our complicated situations we can't be together. Surely i miss her very much and i wish to be with her, however what is more important for me is to see her being happy. 

Ding. Dong. 
Someone rang my doorbell. I looked at the clock, it's 10.46 p.m. Who's coming this late?

"Who is it?", I asked from the intercom. 
I looked at her face, somehow her face looks so familiar but i didn't really remember.
"Hey Jungkook-ssi. I'm Y/n's manager. I need to speak with you"
Oh right! Noona's manager.
"O--okay, wait a minute"
I went to the front door and opened it. She looked at me with a strange expression on her face and then she asked if she could come in. I told her to please have a seat.
"I'm sorry for coming this late", she bowed at me.
"No, no, it's okay", i bowed back at her. 
How did she know about my place? She usually just dropped Noona at parking lot. What does she wants coming to my place this late? Does she want something from me?
"What the hell is wrong with your face?", she looked at me weirdly. 
She's pretty straightforward just like Noona.
"Nothing", i shook my head.

"Okay first of all, don't freak out. I know about your dark secret with Y/n but you can trust me i won't say it to anyone".
What the ? Did Noona tell her about our secret relationship? Oh my God, who else knows about this? Does Hyung...?
"Huh?", i feel that my brain doesn't work. I can't focus or think properly when I try to.
"Only me. Not her parents, not her agency, not her friends", she stared at me then said, "not even her boyfriend", she answered as if she could read my mind.
"What?", I was struck by the phrase.
"Trust me, Jungkook-ssi", as she crossed her leg. "No one else knows", she added. 
She's pretty rude at our first encounter but i let her be, she's older anyway.
"Oh...okay so?"
"Actually, i just have a quick question, if you don't mind. Do you really love her?", she asked as she eyed me up and down. 

"Yeah, i do. Since the first time i met her. I think she is... oh i don't know why i am telling you this", i lowered my head.
"No, it's okay. I'm interested", she looked at me. I told her how i started to love Y/n Noona from the beginning.
"But she's dating one of your member", she forrowed her eyebrows together. She continued, "don't you feel guilty for stealing her from Taehyung? She's been thinking a lot about this lately and it's slowly killing me. You're the one who caused it".

Somehow her words didn't hurt me at all. I know she just wants Noona to be protected from bad consequences which could affect the rest of her life, like get an unnecessary broken heart.
"I didn't steal her from Taehyung hyung. I love her and she said she loves me too"
"Yeah i know, she likes you since ages. But why didn't you say it before they're dating? It could be easier", she scoffed.
"I couldn't because..... i was in relationship too", maybe i shouldn't have to say this, now she gave me a dirty look.

"Ooh so you're also cheating on your girlfriend, huh?"
"What? No! Can you stop? I'm not comfortable talking about this anymore"
She shook her head in disbelief. "What do you really want?", i asked. I was getting annoyed by her presence right now.

She stared at me as she said, "Simple. I just want you to stop loving her", she crossed her arms, "let them be happy, without you. You have no idea how much they have been through to get where they are today".
Wow, this woman. I think she’s trying to destroy our relationship. I understand that maybe she wants to be supportive as her friend, but I think she doesn’t know Noona as well as she thinks she does, "I already convinced her to leave you too".

"What did you say?!"

"I talked to her few days ago. I know i promised her not to meddle about her relationship but something happened and i think it's the best time to confront you and say it to you now".
Ah, so that's why Noona kept ignoring me, it's because this witch. You shouldn't trust this person too much, Noona.

"You are being ridiculous right now, it's not like i can easily stop loving her. Beside, she loves me too. Are you ing crazy? Do you even call yourself her friend?!", I raised my voice and also dropped the honorific because she pissed me off big time.
She looked at me surprised.

"Yah!", she glared at me.

I continued, "I love her because i see a reflection of me in her. I see a side i can relate with. A side i fall in love with because that makes me have butterflies inside my stomach and my heart starts to beat faster. Noona makes me feel something nobody else can good or bad. She makes me want to be a better version of myself not just to impress everyone but for myself too."
I couldn't hold my tears and I just started crying.

"She was this different kind of beautiful, unlike anything I had ever seen. When she smiled and looked my way, I can't even explain what that did to me. She made my heart beat in a crazy way, like never before. It was like my eyes locked onto a soul that I waited years to find. I felt something so deep within me, and I immediately knew that this heart led me to her"

"I think so highly of her. I admire her drive, her passion and her dedication to everything that she loves. But what captures my attention more than anything else is her simplicity. She's such a beautiful person. Behind everything the eye can see, behind all the glitz and the glamour, is a woman with worries and fears. Someone who loves and desires to be loved in return"

"I feel like i was very attached to her, dependent on her and i simply couldn't imagine my life without her. My entire world turned around her. I was petrified that without her i wouldn't survive", i said in between my sobbing. 

"She has changed my life. I wish I could explain how it all happened, but I can't. It just happened, exactly the way they describe in books and movies. The only difference is that this is real", i looked at her as i wiped all my tears.

She listened to it all without interrupting. Her eyes were getting teary. We sat in silence for moment. Neither one of us seemed to know what to say next. 

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry, Jungkook-ssi", now she's crying in front of me as she covered her face with her palms, "I shouldn't have come here at the first place... I'm... sorry", the hurt in her tone created a lump in .
I grabbed a box of tissue and gave it to her. I didn't say anything until she has calm a little bit. "I just want her to be happy, whether it's gonna be you or Taehyung in the end, i don't care. Please make her happy"
"I also want her to be happy"
"Thank you, Jungkook-ssi", she said as she wiped her tears, "Oh God what did i do?", she talked to herself.
"It's okay. I understand you did all of this for her", i tried to make her better by saying this. She glanced at me.

"Jungkook-ssi, if you truly love Y/n, please don't stop fighting