Page 25, Never Loved
Enchanted - a story of us -
Yonghwa, Jung
There is still no new notification even though I have waited for a phone call, or at least a text message, from Iseul since this morning.
Our little fight yesterday is not settled yet. We ended up not talking to each other because she locked her room from inside and I didn't want to argue with her again.
It's not that I don't want to talk with her or listen to her explanation but I just don't think it's a good idea to have worse mood before I went to work.
Some may said I'm a smooth talker or even a womanizer but actually it's not the real me. Let's just say my entertainment intuition is quite good yet my real self is nowhere near to the smooth talker.
I return my focus to my script again as I read the line I need to memorize for the next scene of the drama.
"How can you ask me to forget about you when you can't forget about him? No, it's not just a mere jealousy. It's love."
Jealousy.
I scoff, cursing myself mentally. Why couldn't I control my jealousy? I know that L has feelings for Iseul but that doesn't mean I can blame Iseul for their close friendship.
On top of that, I'm actually shocked that L gave her a birthday present. I rushed to read her biodata as soon as I returned to my aparment and I facepalmed myself when I realized that I missed her birthday.
How could I even forget that her birthday is on New Year's Eve? How could I forget about the important date?
That's when I finally remembered that I still haven't given her the Christmas present yet. So far so bad for being a good real boyfriend for her.
"I'm sorry. Can we talk?"
I finally send the text message after considering for ten minutes. I heave a sigh and pray that she will reply my text message so we can fix our relationship again.
I haven't treated her like a Princess, the way I want to treat the girl I love. I'm too busy and so does she. We just start and I don't want my selfish side to mess everything.
All of a sudden, a voice interrupts my wandering mind, "Yonghwa?"
The president of my agency steps inside the room with a smile. I quickly put down my script and straighten my body, giving him a polite bow, "President!"
This is actually really surprised me because he rarely visits me in person. The other members are busy with their individual activities so it's only me who is left in the ofice today.
"Preparation for your drama?" he glances at my script, walking to my stand. "You're working really hard nowadays, aren't you?"
"I'm trying to do my best," I nod slightly. "There a lot of things I'm still lacking so, yeah, I need to work harder."
"Good to hear that," he takes a seat and looks at me with gentle eyes. "Why don't you sit down, Yonghwa? It's been a while since the last time we talked. I think it's around the time when you agreed to have the contract to date with someone."
I nod and wait for him to continue, knowing that this conversation is heading somewhere, "Do you remember why I asked you to go with the deal?"
I tap my finger slowly on the table, feeling uneasy, "Because... I need to avoid any possible scandal for the public reputation..."
He smiles in agreement, "That's right. Idols can't avoid the scandals forever so we better prevent it by doing what they want."
"Making the deal into a real one is definitely not allowed. You do know that, don't you, Yonghwa?" he asks, looking at me with unpredictable meaning behind his gaze.
My heart skips a beat upon the question. Why does he suddenly ask this to me? No one knows about my relationship with Iseul yet.
"I wonder...," I clear my throat nervously, calming myself down. "I just wonder about why. Things are under our control and the whole world knows the fake one so... I just don't get the point."
The President gives me a small smile, "Almost all talent agencies forbid their talents to have love relationships. Mostly have one same reason, Yonghwa. All of you are idols who have different paths in life with ordinary people."
"No, it doesn't differ you with the others, but you have bigger consequences to bear as an idol. As for now, I don't think it's a good idea for you to have a real relationship, Yonghwa," he shares his thought. "I know you must be wondering why I suddenly talk to you about this."
He takes out his phone from his pocket and shows me a text message from an unknown number.
"Tell me. Why does Jung Yonghwa need to fake a relationship when he has the real one?"
My eyes widen in shock because of the text message. The President takes back his phone and mutters, "I'm trying to find out who the sender is but what matter now is I believe you're not going to break the deal, right?"
I clench my fists, not knowing what kind of answer I can give to him. He has been like a father for me and he is right; I can't turn down his faith on me after these years.
What should I do?
Should I go on with the lie to the whole world? Should I lie to the President? Or should I lie to Iseul?
Iseul, Song
I tuck my hands inside my pockets as I look up at the night sky. I heave a sigh and close my eyes, feeling the night breeze.
Yonghwa sent me a text message, asking me to have a talk with him. We agreed to meet at the nearest park from the hospital because I just visited my mother this afternoon after my part time job as a cashier in a small cafe.
My mood is not at the best state due to the fight I had with Yonghwa yesterday. However I try to understand him.
He is busy and I know he must be really tired. Perhaps he just needed a good rest and we can talk properly again about everything.
Besides he is jealous and I should be grateful for that because it means he really cares about me, doesn't he?
"Iseul Noona?"
I open up my eyes and find Myungsoo is standing not too far from me. He is wearing a black thick-rimmed glasses as his disguise equipment but it's obvious that it's him, Kim Myungsoo.
"What are you doing outside?" he approaches me who stands under the tree. "It's cold here..."
I give him a smile and tilt my head, "Are you going to visit my mother, Myungsoo?"
"Yes," he scratches his cheek with his finger, smiling bashfully. "I have a free time tonight so, well, I think I need to visit you as well."
There are seconds of silence when he looks at me with a questioning look. He opens up another topic, "Noona, about Jang Dongho. I accidentally heard about your conversation with him that day at the hospital..."
I flinch a little at his sudden statement. Did he hear everything?
"There is this someone...," he rubs the back of his neck, looking confused. "I followed Dongho and I heard he talked with this man. I don't-"
"I thought it would be just two of us."
Myungsoo immediately stops at the interruption. Yonghwa takes steps closer to me with cold eyes, looking at me with bored expression, "Looks like you two are really close."
Talking about bad timing here.
"He just wants to visit my mother and he walked pass here," I tell him calmly, not wanting to have another argument. "If we need to talk in private then-"
"No, it's alright," Yonghwa cuts my words and looks away. "Everything is going to end anyway."
What did he just say?
"What are you talking about?" I dare myself to ask even though I'm afraid with his answer. It's impossible that his jealousy leads up to a break up, right?
"It's just a deal, Iseul," Yonghwa answers with monotone, still avoiding my gaze. "I was just worried about our contract if he sticks around you all the time."
Myungsoo clenches his fists and takes a step to Yonghwa with disbelief look, "Yah, what-"
"No, don't!" I push Myungsoo away so he can't land a punch on Yonghwa. "Stop it! Myungsoo! I mean it! Stop!"
"But, Noona, he-" Myungsoo wants to complaint but I clutch his shirt, a sign that I'm begging him to control his emotion or everything will be worse. He lowers down his hand and scoffs, looking away from me.
Despite the fact that I just stopped Myungsoo from hurting Yonghwa, my heart is actually breaking into pieces. I don't believe that Yonghwa just said those words to me.
"Tell me one thing, Jung Yonghwa," I murmur vividly with wavering voice, still giving my back to him because I don't want him to see my crying face. "You never really loved me, didn't you?
There are seconds of silence before he answers me coldly.
"Yes. I never loved you."
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