Whatever happens,
Stay at every moment.
Time will fool you of the future.
Today is all that there is. 
Treasure every second. 
Tomorrow all of today
will only be a memory.

/22/ To the stars

Days after Yuju's and Umji's visit, Sojung came back at the hospital to get another round of chemo. Unfortunately, the girls have a tight schedule for today and Sohyun had to go to work, which leaves Sojung and her mother alone. 

It's been awkward, to say the least. Sojung and her mom both tried to ignore the giant elephant in the room, which has proven hard to do when she, herself is the elephant. Sojung had been trying to focus on other things, but it's hard when her mother is trying not to break down in front of her, and she can't help but feel that it's her fault. She knows that she didn't choose to have cancer, but her mom didn't choose this for her either. So she is constantly reminding herself that this is probably harder for her mother than it is for her. 

"I'm sorry, mom." Sojung croaked out when the silence becomes too much. She's sitting on the recliner chair, but it feels as though the weight of tension in the room is what's holding her down instead of gravity.

Sojung's mom who was busy trying to read looks up at her with a look of confusion on her face, which makes her continue.

"I know this isn't easy for you either, and I know I've been making it harder." Sojung whispered as she looks down to her lap, unable to hold her mother's gaze. "I should have listened to you since the beginning. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Her mother manages to say in a strained voice. Sojung finally looked up to make eye contact with her, and all she sees is love and understanding. 

"Having to watch you go through this is brutal for all of us, but I wouldn't have it any other way." She continued. "You being sick is devastating, and I would do anything to fix it, but I know I can't... All I can do is to be more supportive and understanding. Just don't give up, okay sweetheart?"

Sojung shakes her head and forced herself to speak, "Please don't have any regrets mom." She pleads as she tries to blink her tears away, the last thing she wants is for her mother to think she's not doing a good job. "With all things considered... I am happy, and it has everything to do with you mom, please remember that."

"Don't say it like you're saying goodbye, Sojung." She whispers as the tears begin leaking. Seeing her mom cry is never easy, so she tries to fix her mistake by giving her a reassuring smile.

"I'm not saying goodbye." Sojung smiles as she tries to lighten the situation. "I've gotten used to this cancer thing and I'm not going down without a fight, don't worry."

_

About an hour later Sojung was finally finished with chemo and was making her way out of the hospital. It was still just her and her mother, and though Sojung still feels wrong, the tension between them is now lighter. 

"Yerin will pick us up." Sojung just nodded her head when she heard her mother. 

The repercussions of chemo have been kicking in stronger, so Sojung feels completely exhausted. She is now in the wheelchair as a nurse guides them out of the hospital. She decided to cuddle into the chair and fall asleep, moving up the blanket sitting on her knees to cover her whole body. She pulled her beanie over her head tighter, and closed her eyes, hoping for sleep to come. A pair of footsteps threaten to scare her sleep away, but she manages to ignore it until Yerin's voice cuts through.

"Hi, eomeonim." She whispers as she walked closer. Sojung still closed her eyes, not having the energy to open them.

"Hey, Sowonie." Yerin whispers as she kisses Sojung's cheek. The young leader manages to crack an eye open and give her a tired smile. Sojung can see how hard for Yerin to see her like this, and she wished she could reassure her in some way, but she doesn't have the energy to do so. 

"I'm going to get the car." She heard her mom says as she leaves them in the lobby.

Yerin crouches down to get on Sojung's level and observe her unnie to find out what she needed. They've always had a telepathy thing where they don't need to speak, and even though it's pretty obvious that Sojung needs some rest right now, Yerin will see what she needs more than that.

The younger tried hard not to show any sadness in front of her unnie, so she smiles. "We'll get you home for a nap, unnie." Yerin whispers as she places her hand on Sojung's arm. "And then when you wake up, we got a surprise for you."

"We?"

"It's a surprise, unnie." Yerin winks and stands up to push the wheelchair towards the car, and help her get settled in.

_

After getting home, Sojung sleeps for about three hours. When she woke up, she still feels tired and dizzy. She tries to tone down the pain, but nausea keeps coming up. Feeling the bile rise in , she leans over her bed to where she knows her mom placed a bin, and throw up liquids. She throws up until feels as though it's on fire, and only when she gets to the point of having nothing left in her stomach, she's able to stop.

When she finished cleaning up, she managed to pry herself out of bed and make her way downstairs to see what everybody is u