You are fearfully
and wonderfully made
so be brave.
You will be the happiest person someday
and you will have the things you truly desire
when you give everything a chance.

/SC 3/ Be Brave
[ S I N B ]

The week after we visited Sowon unnie was a heavily scheduled week. There's no room for breaks because we need to finish all the promotions in Japan.

And yet I couldn't concentrate. I was preoccupied. I keep thinking of Sowon unnie. What is she doing? Who is she with? Is she waiting for us the same way we're waiting for the weekend to arrive?

I just want to spend time with her, but I couldn't do anything. What am I supposed to do? I couldn't go through another day in an enclosed place, doing things that don't mean anything to me now, when every tick of the clock is supposed to spend with her.

While posing for the cameras, I couldn't help but think, what is this all for? I've wasted so much time in here, preparing for the long run. But if I happen to have no tomorrow, did I really live?

Thursday morning when I decided to run away. Yewon and I don't have schedule for today, the other members were busy for another photoshoot, so I sneak out. I just couldn't sit and do nothing here knowing that Sowon unnie is waiting for us.

I put on my favourite blue hoodie, get my purse and headed outside. Yewon didn't notice me, thank god she's busy reading. I know this is not right. I shouldn't go on my own.... but I didn't care. I booked the fastest flight back to Korea. And when I'm finally on board, I searched on my phone for ways to go to the hospital where unnie was admitted. I'm not used on being on my own, but I could easily take direction so I was hoping I will not get lost.

When I arrived at the airport, I immediately searched for a bus heading to my destination. I saw one with with the right sign, exactly what I needed. I ride, sat on the back seats and my AirPods.

The flight started. Most of the time I was staring outside the window. It was almost a three-hour ride. On the way to the hospital, I remembered the letter Sowon unnie gave me. I carefully took it out from the back of my phone and opened it.

To my little warrior,

I never got a chance to tell you how much I admire you. You are strong, fearless and talented. Well, who wouldn’t admire a piece of art like you — that instead of hiding your scars from your past, you used them to remind yourself to grow and become a better person? I'm so proud of you, Eunbi. You always think that you didn't do enough. But I assure you, you are doing great–in every little thing you do. You've earned so many lessons and realizations just by building the person you want to become. There's no pain or experience wasted for you. You're doing a wonderful job and it'll never be left unnoticed.

I let out a chuckle when I read the first part again. This unnie... How could she say this? Does she know how many times she showed me that she's proud of me? She may not voice it out, but I know. I always knew. She never failed to let me feel loved.

My little Eunbi, thank you for staying by my side in every way. Thank you for all the tears, laughter, heartbreaks, and memories we’ve shared together. You stayed with me when everyone else didn’t, and you made me believe that I can get through anything. You taught me to be strong, now here I am telling you these words; BE BRAVE. We will get through this. And this too shall pass.

A tear almost escaped my eyes. I immediately wiped it away as I read the last words again. BE BRAVE. Right. She has the guts to tell me this when she herself needed these words too.

I know you're scared. I am too. But please don't let these situations break you. Everything still happens for a reason. I will not leave without making things right, that's what I told you. So please trust me when I say, I will win this battle. It may not be the victory that we all want, but I am sure that victory will serve as a reason to for you girls to keep living.

Be brave. I love you, Eunbi.

Your only one,
Sojung.

I tried hard not to cry. I'm in a public place for goodness sake! What the hell came to my mind that I decided to reread this here? Damn. 'It may be the victory we all want..' What the hell? Is she giving up already?

A few hours more and I arrived at my destination. The bus stopped on a famil