You don't need to save me.

But would you run away with me?

/14/ Drapetomania

All of them are there, standing in front of the piano, looking intently at her while catching their breaths. She doesn't expect them to be here. The exhaustion weights heavier now that she saw the look on their faces. Sojung is not ready for this. 

Sinb looked tensed and worried, and the others looked as though they were about to burst and it was too overwhelming for Sowon to handle. Yerin did the first move, she grabbed the phone recorder and turned it off. 

"Sojung unnie." 

Sowon closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to prepare herself. She doesn't want to look up again. She feels ashamed and vulnerable. They don't deserve to saw her like this. 

"God damnit, unnie." Sinb growls out as she rushes up to Sowon and gives her a hug. "I'm so effin worried."

"I'm sorry." Sowon whispered as she blinked her tears away and hug her back. Umji followed and threw herself to hug her unnie. And with that, Sowon was brought into a group hug. 

No words left Sowon's lips as she felt arms wrapped around her. The familiarity made her relax, she felt safe and warm. It feels like no one could ever harm her, because they're here, giving her strength, protecting and saving her again and again.

"You did great, unnie." Yerin whispered as she hugs Sowon tighter before letting go to look at her. She cupped Sowon's face and wiped her tears using her thumb. "We're proud of you." 

Sowon nods her head as she tries to stop her tears, which she fails to do. "Thank you... and I'm sorry." 

"Why are you apologizing, unnie? You don't have to." Sinb pulled Sowon to her side. "Don't cry anymore. You are not alone. We're here now." Sinb puts an arm on Sowon's shoulder and lets her relax on her.

"No. You don't deserve this. I-i have to tell you the truth..." Sowon mumbled, but it's loud enough for them to look at her with concerned eyes.

"U-unnie," 

"No. It's okay, Sinb. It's time." 

"What's going on, unnie?" Umji stepped back and look at other faces who have the same look as hers. Her heartbeat raced and felt nauseous. She already expected this to happen, she prepared herself for this, but she couldn't stop her tears from flowing. Umji holds Yuju's hand behind her, finding the strength to face what's about to happen. 

Yuju continued looking at Sowon as she tried to pierced every little piece of information to understand the situation. The hints are too obvious, but she wants to hear it from her unnie. Whatever Sowon was keeping is so serious, and it's about to break all of them.

"I, um." Sowon stuttered before clearing . She forced herself to focus on Sinb's body heat from her side, giving her the courage to get through this.

"Breathe, unnie." Sinb didn't leave her side, ready to defend her unnie if something unexpected happens. She doesn't want this. She knows Sowon was too exhausted now for this conversation. It's not right for her to go through this. She just wants to go home and let her unnie rest.

"Unnie, you don't have to if you're not ready yet. We can all go home now and rest first." Yerin voice out Sinb's thoughts, but Yerin just wants to ease the tension. She's nervous and she can't help but to try and think of ways to get away from this feeling.

But Sowon wants to get all of this done tonight. She is tired of keeping secrets, because what's the point when she already decided to take the chemotherapy. They need to know sooner or later that she's dying, she doesn't have enough energy to join them as a group and she won't see them often than she could. And yet every time she thinks of the memories they had made, the more she realized that they deserved a lot more than this.

"I probably won't see you after our promotions, girls." Just saying those words made heart constrict. The idea of going through chemo on top of not seeing them, maybe ever again, was enough to bring her to tears again.

Confusion makes its way onto their faces except for Sinb who held her tighter. Yuju speaks first, "What? Why not?"

"I'm going away for a bit." Sowon vaguely answers, but couldn't manage to keep the sadness out of her voice.

"Where?"

"I can't tell you."

"Well, when are you coming back?" Eunha questioned, she wasn't looking at her, but Sowon could tell Eunha was losing her patience. 

"I might not be."

"What does that even mean, unnie?!" Eunha asks as she throws her hands in the air. "Stop being vague and tell us what's going on!"

"Eunha, calm down." Yerin stepped forward and pulled Eunha away from Sowon. "Let's listen first."

"How can I calm down if she keeps on lying?! We're not children anymore. We deserve to know!"

"Eunha," Sowon shakes her head as few tears fall. She stands up and Sinb supported her, never leaving her side. She looked at the ground in an attempt to compose herself before looking into Eunha's eyes that are etched with sadness.

"I'm so sorry, Eunha. I didn't mean to–" She reached out Eunha's hand and takes a breath as her walls crumble. Eunha shakes her head and looked at her side, trying to avoid Sowon's eyes.