"There was sadness in her eyes, no it was more than that.. her eyes were longing, yearning for something that I have yet to unravel."

------------------------------------------------

" Did you just quote a book or was that from Thought Catalog or something?"

" Jake, don't make me go thinking twice 'bout our friendship."

" Chill out mate, I was just trying to lighten up the mood, this is your job mind you, all the rational thinking and wits, this is all Lisa's brand."

" I am trying to be rational Jake, you're not helping."

"Right, hold it right there. You are overthinking, Lily.. or at least over analyzing things. How in the world would you be able to determine how she feels when you barely know each other?"

"Pretty good point Jake, but you see, this is second nature to me.. I  know how to observe people. Don't get me wrong, Roseanne isn't a "subject', not even a 'client' to me.. she's more than that, apparently. Even all of my rationality combined cannot, for the life of me, describe why I'm so drawn to her. It's a question I have yet to answer, or maybe I don't need no answers, maybe for once in my life, I need to let things run its course, ya feel?" 

Lisa raised an eyebrow in an attempt to show her best friend that she might have things under control.

"Okay life coach I see you. So going back, you've asked her about the job and then you went all Lang Leav on me. Let's just say that maybe there's some sort of connection between her and anything music related right? Now, here's rational thinking for you smarty pants, why don't you ask her to hang out? Get to know her better? That'll answer your questions. As you have said, let things run its course."  

Jake proudly did a mic drop gesture. 

"Not bad Jake, not bad. Maybe you deserve to be my best friend after all huh. But I'm telling you Jake, I noticed something in there, no. I felt something. I saw it in her eyes Jake.."

"Psh, yeah yeah. I am your best friend for a reason, now you're on best friend duty! Please for the love of god! buy me a drink! I am parched, my dear best friend! All these life coach observing, rational thinking stuff is beyond me, when practically all you do, and is currently doing, is having a big fat crush on my former employee. DO ' O CLOCK LISA. DO' O CLOCK. STOP THINKING AND JUST FREAKIN' DO IT." 

And yup, another mic drop gesture followed by him raising his hand to call the attention of the servers. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a restless night for Roseanne. 

As much as she appreciated lunch with Lisa, the succeeding discussion was all she could think of by the time she flopped down on her thinking couch. 

For some reason, Roseanne remembered her speech teacher way back in high school, giving them tips on how to 'organize' their thoughts. One of which is to break it down to three key points; and so she did, it wouldn't hurt to try, will it? 

First point. Music and her family. 

Roseanne loved music. Almost half of her life was dedicated to music. Her family was into music. But it was also a fact that although music brought them closer, music was also the reason why she lost them; or was it really music, Rosie?  

For a moment, Roseanne felt like a part of her didn't entirely believe that music was the proximate cause of her dreaded present situation. 

She felt a sudden weight forming up inside her chest. The memories of her beloved family corralling, trapping her once again in the abyss of grief and yearning. Tears flooded her eyes, as she clutched her chest, a mannerism that she had developed, hoping that her pain doesn't engulf her entire being, that her hands clutching her chest is enough to keep her together, to keep her already shattered heart from dissipating into ash. 

One day she had all she ever wanted, everything good life has to offer, the next day, all of it was gone, she was alone, devastated and in complete disarray. Music was the only thing that kept her sane, she lived and breathed music; but at the same time, it was the only reminder that she was not alone at some point in her life, that she had a family once, that she knew what genuine happiness meant once, and that she will never ever have that again.  

At this point, she should already be asleep, her body should've been tired from crying, screaming, begging for the pain to subside. She groggily made her way into the bedroom, hoping for sleep to catch up to her, her tear strained eyes drifted to a bright pink box under her bed. 

For all the things that she kept in her humble abode, this box was the one thing she dreaded to see. The box contained numerous pictures of her family, letters, gifts, remnants of her once happy life.

This time around turned out to be different.

Roseanne found herself staring at the box for quite some time now. As if there was an extreme force dragging her towards it. With shaky hands and a deep breath, Roseanne took out the box and opened it. Every picture she saw pierced through her, every memory behind them made her heart bleed. 

At the bottom part of the box, she saw an envelope with her name engrossed on it. It was her parents' letter to her when she got into Julliard. Her memory of that day was vivid, as if it just happened yesterday, as if her parents was just beside her smiling, cheering her on to read its contents. 

Our Dearest Rosie,

We are so proud of you, love. Congratulations! We always knew you were meant for greatness. You were always special Rosie. It's about time that your talent be honed into its full potential, sweetie. We're thrilled it's Julliard! Although Mum and I for sure, were the best teachers that you will ever have, there are lessons in life that you need to discover on your own, in a different setting, in a place that may or may not be inside our lovely home. 

We know Julliard sounds overwhelming but my love, keep in mind that one's passion for music cannot be taught and cannot just be acquired by mere training or through numerous scholarly activities. It is innate. It is within you and it will stay with you wherever you go and it will guide you through. Let music be a reminder of our unconditional love for you and Alice. It is a gift that we are glad that we were able to pass on to the both of you. 

There will be trying times my love, as if your life's music will fade out but I hope and pray that you find it in you, to continue and create different versions of your life's music and someday you'll find someone who'll gladly listen and adore your variety of life's music, just like your mum and I found each other. 

Our Rosie, our greatest musician. Good luck sweetie and enjoy college.

Love,

Mum and Dad

As her tears drench her parents' letter, Roseanne realised that this must be the reason why she never had the heart to throw out this box, that although it was the prime reason of the numerous times that she cried herself to sleep, now it's also the reason that she finally understood her contrast of love and hate for music. 

She hated music for the longest time since it reminded her of the family that she lost. It was the clear evidence that they were gone and Roseanne never found the courage to face and accept that reality, not until now.. 

She loved music for the longest time since it is what they always had, it is what her family loved the most. Music was every definition of genuine happiness, dreams and aspirations, challenges and breakthroughs. In reality, music was now a memoir of her family and as much as it pains her that it's all just memories now, there is nothing more that she wanted but to keep them close in her heart just as much as she wants music to be her sole avenue of expression of her unconditional love for them. When there's music, there is family; and Roseanne will be able to live with that. 

Second point. Unemployment

This was a no brainer, if Roseanne wanted to continue pursuing music, she needs to start somewhere. Manage her finances and continue from there. Was it coincidence or just a of luck that she met Lisa and she had this sort of awakening when she played the piano with Louis. Roseanne was worried that she might not be able to perform her job properly, if ever she agrees, that it has been a long while since she played the piano and she didn't want to disappoint the people in the day care center. Wendy. Louis.. and of course, Lisa. It felt like Lisa knew and was sure that she can be a music teacher, Lisa entrusted her with something important. She smiled at the thought of it.. which brings her to her third point.

Lisa. 

Roseanne wasn't even close to figuring out everything that is happening in her life right now that is related to the life coach. 

She might have to forgo the analysis of her third point for now. It's a loss cause.. for now. All she knows is that  Lisa is really nice, and wasn't really much of an arrogant jerk as she sounded when Roseanne first spoke to her. Lisa is almost child-like, not childish, but child-like. Unlike her usual perception of life coaches, Lisa is surprisingly spontaneous but can also be as straight edged as she can get, hilariously awkward but can also be annoyingly confident in her own way. Roseanne was dumbfounded for a little while, how can she have observed someone so critically when they have barely known each other? 

Now the argument still stands, the Lisa point is still a puzzle, a mystery that she has yet to unearth. 

Roseanne checked the time on her phone, it's 2 am already. She has always believed in the saying that nothing good happens at 2 am so she decided to try and get some rest. It has been an excruciatingly long day.

She was half awake and half asleep when her phone vibrated. 

It was a message from Lisa.

Hey Rosie, I know it's late and you don't need to respond.

I just want you to know that I'm willing to listen to whatever music you wish to create.

See you soon? :)

Good night and sleep well! ;)