One will be in awe at the amount of people, from different walks of life, in various age brackets, who have no idea what their true purpose is.

 

And that’s okay, really.

 

Self discovery is a journey. Imprescriptible, amorphous yet malleable, humans are creatures with an innate connection with wander and discovery; progressive yet dogmatic.

 

“For one to find their purpose, they should know and live by their why, I am here to help you strategize and execute, hopefully along the way, you discover it within you. On the other hand, I am also here to tell you, that you don’t have to have it all figured out in one go, as you may already know, life doesn’t and will never give us that luxury.”

 

With a chuckle and a peace sign, Lisa ends another session with a mentee. She doesn’t like calling them clients, too formal, not even an acquaintance nor a friend, for she believes that progress requires setting realistic boundaries. And so she settles with mentee, just the right balance between being formal and laid-back.

 

Lisa deals with different sets of questions every single day of her life coach adventures, inadvertently providing answers to unanswerable questions, or at least that’s how her mentees see it.

 

In striking contrast, a huge portion of her time, as she lived her rather challenging personal life, was dedicated to finding the answer to her paramount why. Does this mean she hasn’t found her purpose yet? Or is she about to discover another why to push her to attain a greater purpose in life?

 

Turtle Rabbit Day

 

A calendar reminder notification pops out on her phone’s screen.

 

It might be Jake or Somi’s doing, it doesn’t really matter.

 

Was she scared? Excited? Worried? She isn’t entirely sure of what she feels at the moment. All she knows is that the past few days were already a roller coaster of emotions.

 

Reaching its peak upon her receipt of Jisoo’s not-so peculiar email, plunging her into the vast sea of confusion with her subconscious screaming its inaudible voice of grief and pain for the past memories of a once happy family, for the people who she’d thought would never leave.

 

Lisa wanted to step out of it, to save herself from the head-splitting and gut-wrenching loop that she is in.

 

Until she came to a realization, that this roller coaster was unmanned and that the only thing that was turning its imaginary rusty gears was Lisa’s fears.

 

1216. she did step out of something, out of her comfort zone and out of her usual tough facade, she stripped herself of the translucent veil of makeshift courage that she had for so long, just how Roseanne faced her life’s music, it was time for Lisa to step out of her conductor podium and let the orchestra of life play the harmonies that she composed together with Jennie and Jisoo.

 

And so, she did.

 

Lisa found herself reminiscing the good old times at the abandoned playground where she and Jisoo used to hang out, swinging back and forth, feeling the slight whip of the cold afternoon wind on her face, the slight pang in her chest when she remembers how hearty Jisoo’s laugh is when she slips and falls each time, she tries to conquer the monkey bars.

 

“I can’t believe this swing is still swingin’ champ.”

 

And despite every intensity of discomfort in her chest when she lets herself reminisce; Lisa knows that voice. It will rise above every melody and rhythm that this world has to offer and Lisa, in every heartbeat, will follow and acknowledge that voice.

 

Eyes b with tears, cheeks hurting from the sudden eruption of a beautiful smile, emitting each and every particle of yearning within the small space between them..

 

“Unnie..”

 

Lisa says her first words, in an excruciatingly long time, to her sister Jisoo once again.

 

“ Lilybear.. My little baby.. I’m so sorry.. I’ve missed you more than anything else.”

 

Jisoo engulfs Lisa in the tightest and the most loving hug that she can give, sobbing and smiling in between her words, no one has brought so much warmth and happiness in her life other than Lisa, and Jisoo doesn’t want to let go, never again.

 

“Yah! Unnie! I can’t -- breathe -- Jennie-unnie, please -- save meeeeee ~~~”

 

Lisa’s muffled scream echoed throughout the almost empty playground. She playfully tries to wiggle out of Jisoo’s hug.

 

In reality, in Jennie’s point of view, Lisa was using every bit of space between them to hug Jisoo back, the way Lisa instinctively closed her eyes and smiled as she let Jisoo’s small frame snuggle into her. The way Lisa tried to sneakily wipe her tears and disrupt the blinding smile that she has on for a while now.

 

Jennie knows that the sisters have a peculiar way of showing love and affection and no matter how annoying they can be, she couldn’t ask for more than for time to stop and for this moment to never end.

 

And so, Jennie smiled like she’s never smiled before, hoping and praying that the universe and the gods see how genuinely happy she is, how genuinely happy Lisa and Jisoo are, for this family to mend and heal, to catch up on the lost years, for the odds to work in their favour this time around, for them to be a family like how it was always meant to be.

 

“Jennie, please. Take all of my money! take it! everything! Just please, help me out here. I’m dying, the greasiness is suffocating! I can’t believe Jisoo is still a big baby!”

 

Jennie chuckled upon hearing Lisa’s current ‘predicament’.

 

“Oh, shut up, you equally big baby! Look at you! C’mere!”

 

She rushes towards the both of them, joins the group hug, sniffing and trying her best to deter the imminent waterworks.

 

After finally getting Jisoo off from Lisa, small talks here and there, the trio brought the reunion party to Lisa’s humble abode.

 

Jennie immediately hopped towards Lisa’s kitchen and volunteered to cook dinner for all of them. She figured that the sisters need some alone time and have much to discuss.

 

Inside the kitchen, Jennie can hear the startup tune for a gaming console. “Ah, they’re totally dealing with this like the adults that they are!” she immediately regrets leaving the two alone by themselves, “hope they don’t smack the hell out of each other over some lousy video game.”

 

“Are you sure you’re up for this challenge?” Lisa animatedly popped her knuckles as she smugly turned to Jisoo on the other side of the couch.

 

“There’s no way you’re going to beat me Lilybear.” Jisoo was glad to return the smug face back as she blew off the imaginary dust on her controller.

 

“Things have changed, Jisoonie. A lot has changed.” Lisa answered back in a monotonous tone, eyes glued on the screen, a secure grip on her controller.

 

Until she heard someone sniffing.

 

“Wait, why are you -? Wait! I was referring to the game.”

“Oh, come on now!”

“Fine, you get the Lakers as your home team.”

 

Lisa heard Jennie screaming from the kitchen reminding Jisoo that she can hear someone sniffing and that Jisoo should be fair and square to Lisa this time around. Little did she know it was Jisoo who was tearing up yet again.

 

“Are you seriously crying, Jisoonie? Since when did you become a crybaby?” Lisa tries to lighten up the mood, there’s a reason why she fired up her PlayStation as soon as they plopped down on the couch, she wasn’t ready to engage in the talk with Jisoo, at least not before dinner.

 

“Oh, sorry Lilybear.. Something just got caught in my eye.” Jisoo got caught off guard by Lisa’s remark, it felt like a loaded response when it was really just Lisa responding back; so she lies, hoping Lisa buys it.

 

“Oh..kaaay. How about we do the first half and then we can catch up on some other things?” A lot really has changed but never how Lisa knows her sister Jisoo and so she took the liberty to suggest the “catch up” after the first half of the game.

 

“Fine by me, Lilybear. Hope you brought your A game.” and Jisoo clearly understood what Lisa was trying to convey.

 

“Oh, you bet. I brought the whole alphabet with me.” both of them flashing their signature grin as the tip-off starts.

 

 

Lisa was wrong in so many ways, a lot might have changed but never her Jisoonie being such a God on whatever platform and whichever game they play. She was down by 15 in the first half. Such a Jisoo strategy. NBA never this bad for Lisa.

 

As they plopped down on the couch laughing and leaning their heads against each other. Jisoo decides to speak.

 

“I’m sorry Lilybear.”

 

“Oh please Jisoonie, I can cut that down easily on the third quarter, just you wait!”

 

Jisoo was sorry for so many things and Lisa being this innocent crushes her to the core. How can she have left this person, her own sister, for her own selfish accord.

 

She settles to respond with a sigh while she carefully thinks of the next words that she’d say.

 

It was dead silent for a moment until Lisa said something that Jisoo wasn’t expecting.

 

“Can you tell me a story, Jisoonie.”

 

Jisoo remembers how Lisa has always been a curious child and it will never be not endearing to her every single time Lisa reminds her of this trait.

 

“Of course, Lilybear. Which one would you like?”

 

“Your story.” Lisa closes her eyes, smiles and nods her head, she carefully rests her head on Jisoo’s lap.

 

In that moment, Jisoo knew that Lisa wasn’t mad at her, Lisa was giving her a chance to explain and can she be more guilty of leaving her sweet innocent sister behind for so long

 

“I have been selfish Lisa, so ing selfish. I just need you to know that.” Jisoo’s voice cracks and she tried not to let the tears roll down her cheeks.

 

She can see how Lisa’s eyebrows scrunch and ease up as she took deep breaths. She hummed in response, urging Jisoo to go on.

 

“I thought I was doing the right thing for you and our family. Grief got the best of me, in ways I couldn’t have imagined.. I found a way to join the agency, just like mom and dad..”

 

Jisoo saw the tears roll down from Lisa’s cheeks as she tried to drown out her sobs with her hands. And as much as Jisoo despised herself for making her little sister cry numerous times over the years, especially during those times that Jisoo couldn’t be right by Lisa’s side comforting her, Jisoo reminded herself that Lisa deserves to hear the truth.

 

“For a moment, I felt like they were there with me, that I still had a connection with them, I couldn’t let them go for a long while Lisa.. I just couldn’t let go.. The agency was the only tangible reminder of mom and dad, that I still have mom and dad somehow..”

 

Jisoo felt Lisa reach up for her hands that were caressing Lisa’s hair as she tells the story.. Lisa brought it down to her cheeks and intertwined their hands. Jisoo can’t help but to finally let out a sob.

 

“And so I left.. I left you, I left Jennie. I know how dangerous it is to have family around when you’re part of the agency, this was something that mom and dad inadvertently showed me. I never wanted you nor Jennie to be out of my life completely, I wanted you guys to be safe and sound, to live your lives like normal people do. I chose this path and I will never be able to live with the possibility that your lives will be at stake as a consequence of this specific choice that I made.

 

But Jennie, your favorite in-law Jennie was a stubborn woman, a filthy rich stubborn woman.”

 

Jisoo heard Lisa chuckle and hum in response.

 

“She managed to track me down and threatened to have me disavowed from it. I’m telling you, Jennie had a ton of connections, I was scared for my life for a bit but the burning problem was that I can’t have someone compromise my identity. A lot has happened since then, I had to beg for yours and Jennie’s security, I had to take on more chores in exchange for my odd requests.

 

Before we know it, we were in too deep, Jennie got dragged in my chaotic ‘secret’ life, we found ourselves hiring someone to check up on you from time to time.. I’m sincerely sorry Lilybear, I just had to know you’re okay..”

 

Jisoo noticed Lisa was about to speak but chose not to, she took it as a signal to go on.

 

“Getting in was a story, getting out was a novel. I wish to never speak of the time I spent there Lilybear, but if you really want to go into detail, I can make an exception, just for you. I know this is a lot to take in and I will understand if you need some time to think. I’ll understand too if you choose to not forgive me, believe me, I will understand and respect that.”

 

For a moment, there was deafening silence and the only thing Jisoo can hear is her heart threatening to jump out of her chest, she tries to look for and examine Lisa’s reactions, but to no avail, her eyes were closed shut, breathing in normal intervals, a rather calm expression on her face.

 

“So, it was never your plan to leave me in the first place? You didn’t leave me because you realised that I wasn’t really your sister and I am not a part of the family?” Lisa calmly asked, finally opening her eyes and looking straight at Jisoo’s.

 

“God, no Lisa! I tricked myself into believing that this is the best thing for our family, which apparently is the dumbest decision that I have made, got Jennie and I into so much trouble and destroyed our family in the process. You will always be my sister, Lilybear. In this life and in every lifetime that I will have.” Jisoo wholeheartedly replied, hoping that Lisa finds it in her heart to forgive her for being utterly stupid and selfish.

 

“For what’s its worth, I agree that you were utterly stupid but you weren’t entirely selfish..”

 

Lisa decides to get up and face her sister. She takes both of Jisoo’s hands and puts it in her cheeks, searching for Jisoo’s eyes and urges Jisoo to listen to her.

 

“Jisoonie, the moment I saw you at the playground earlier today, my heart has already forgiven you. I may have tons of questions before, tons of doubts before, but you and Jennie, coming back and being right here with me is the only answer that I need. Life is too short to hold grudges and we have been apart for too long for me to not choose this time to spend with you guys.

 

I believe everything happens for a reason and that in time, all will fall into its rightful place. I’m so glad you guys are back, and sorry to burst your bubble, but I will not, in any way, let you guys out of my sight ever again.”

 

Jisoo was rendered speechless, not in a million years did she expect that Lisa will respond to her cruel mistakes like this. To be honest, she wasn’t expecting to be forgiven, she expected wrath, she expected Lisa to despise her but here she is, being naturally just Lisa, kind-hearted and understanding... And the waterworks have started again for Jisoo.

 

“Please stop crying Jisoonie, you’re making me cry too. I love you guys okay? You’re my family, nothing will ever change that. Let’s leave the past behind and let’s make new memories together. We have all the time in the world, don’t we?”

 

Lisa decides to give Jisoo a side hug and kisses her forehead. Jisoo wondered if she was ever a saint in her past life for her to be blessed with a wonderful sister and an equally wonderful wife.

 

“We love you too Lilybear. More than anything. We promise to be with you every step of the way from now on.”

 

And in perfect timing, Jennie emerges from the kitchen and proceeded to pinch their cheeks earning a loud groan from the both of them.

 

“Dinner is ready, you big babies. Let stop the waterworks for now and fill up your tummies so you have energy for more crying later.”

 

Jennie earned a light tap on both of her shoulders as the sisters got up from the couch, poking each other’s puffy eyes and teasing the hell out of each other because of it.

 

As they made their way to the dining table, Lisa and Jisoo held each other's hands, like how they would hold each other's hands when they were little, swaying and lightly hopping plus a whole lot of giggling.

 

Jennie shakes her head in disbelief, she’s stuck with two kids for the rest of her life and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

***

 

“So, tell us about this certain woman named Roseanne Park, Lilybear.”

 

Lisa, once again, was reminded as to why she should hate that Jennie and Jisoo are her sisters.