“Nothing ever goes my way, this . this mothering life!”

 

Jacob realises yet again that his best friend never fails to surprise him.

 

“Wow, Lily. You finally decided to curse in normal people language!” He decides to sit on the couch, getting ready for Lisa’s outburst.

 

“Jake, not helping!” And there it is.

 

“Sorry, I was trying to lighten up the mood.” He wasn’t really apologetic, but he was really trying to lighten up the mood. Deep inside, he was happy that Lisa is finally getting in touch with her emotions.

 

“Yeah, no. I get it. I should be happy right? They’re back. They’re finally back. I should be happy Jake, but why does it feel like I’m not.” He looks at Lisa, his eyes searching for hers but to no avail.

 

“Because maybe you’re not, and it’s okay. You don’t have to pretend that you’re ecstatic to see them. Lily, it has been so long and you’ve grown so much as a person.

 

I mean, look at you, you’re even helping others to grow as their own person. The Lisa who’ve been yearning for them for almost her entire life has changed, and they have to accept that. You, first and foremost, should have to accept that.

 

You’re not the same Lisa that they left years ago. Time changes people don’t doubt yourself now buddy. You’ve come a long way.”

 

Jacob knows he is not good at giving out advice, that was a prime Lisa expertise, also, they weren’t the touchy-feely type of best friends and so he does what he can and what he’s good at. Being Lisa’s best friend.

 

“Thank you, Jake. I’m just - utterly confused why they’re back all of a sudden. When they left, Jisoo-un.. Jisoo.. Sounded so sure, like leaving me has always been part of her plan.”

 

“You know that’s not true Lily..” There’s a pang in Jacob’s chest upon hearing this statement. Lisa never really shared her true sentiments about Jisoo and Jennie in the years that they have known each other.

 

“So why did they leave, Jake? Why? Asking and never getting the answer is exhausting Jake, my whole life has revolved around my whys. Is it so bad to wish for just one answer?” And it breaks him to hear all of Lisa’s questions, knowing that it will always remain unanswered unless Lisa decides to face them.. Jennie and Jisoo.

 

“No, it’s not. I know I’ve said that you’ve grown so much as a person, but we both know that the reason why you can’t seem to grasp and embrace this thought is because in your heart, you know that it will never be Lisa, if it doesn’t include Jisoo and Jennie..” Jake tries to reason out, hoping that Lisa does not misunderstand.

 

“The sad truth..” Jacob engulfs Lisa in a hug, upon hearing her sigh and slump down on the same couch.

 

“It doesn’t have to be that way Lily, I’d like to think that people disagree because we all have our version of truths. It’s entirely up to you on how you want to live with it.” Jacob decides to throw out his final thoughts on the matter.

 

“Are you sure that your bruised forehead didn’t mess with your brain? Where is my dumb best friend?! Why do you sound like a life coach? Stop stealing my thunder!” And in an instant, his Lisa, his smart mouthed best friend Lisa is back.

 

“Ha-ha very funny! It’s time to continue what you’ve started Lisa. On second thought, Jacob isn’t entirely done.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“That little beating muscle in your chest.. You’ve started to use it, ever since.. Say does the name Roseanne ring a bell?” Ah, the lovely Roseanne card, what a beautiful set up, Jacob thought to himself.

 

“See? It agrees with me. Let your mind take a break, it’s time for your heart to decide this time. It wouldn’t make you any less of a person, any less of a life coach, any less Lisa, if you let your heart decide for once.” Roseanne induced silence and blushing cheeks look so good on Lisa right now, Jacob feels extremely grateful for his former employee.

 

“I think I’ll ask her out.. after I deal with all these shenanigans.” It was Lisa’s time to turn the tables.

 

“I thought you guys are going out already?”

 

“Yeah, we are. As friends.”

 

“Friends my . You should see the way you look at each other, my god, yeah, yeah. You should totally do that.”

 

“Thanks for everything Jake, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

 

“You know I got you Lily, aight! I’m gonna bounce, catch you later champ!

 

Now that his best friend is sounding more and more courageous, Jake feels that he has done his part, for now.

 

***

 

Jisoo has her signature stoic face when she’s trying to hide the fact that she’s overthinking things again.

 

“Jen, you didn’t have to do that. We can’t just knock on her door and pretend that we didn’t abandon her for years.” Jisoo tries to calmly reason out, minus the looking at Jennie part, that needs a lot more prepping time especially ‘in times of conflict’.

 

“Says you who pretended to be a client and sent her a cryptic email as if she’s not going to figure out that it was you! It had Jisoo written all over it for pete's sake!” Big brain moment for Jisoo as she had foreseen and evaded the slap that would’ve dislocated her shoulders.

 

“I’m sorry, okay? I panicked! I didn’t think things through or I’ve had way too much time thinking things through.” For a moment, Jisoo was surprised at how vulnerable that statement sounded. It wasn’t very Jisoo to voice out her thoughts.

 

“Hey.. I thought we’re done blaming ourselves.. We had a valid reason, I think she’ll understand.. I’m sorry, I missed her a lot, I just felt like I needed to see her, even just a glimpse.” Jisoo adores how Jennie can change from a meanie to a softie in seconds, this is how it always goes when it comes to Lisa.

 

“I know Jen, I know.. I miss her too, more than anything, I just don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to face her again. Do you think she’ll make time to see me? She probably despises me now! God, what have I done?” Jisoo panics, her own worries and fears decide to take over.

 

“What do you mean will she make time to see you? Of course, she would! I can’t guarantee that it will be easy from here on out but you’re finally taking the first step and that’s all that matters.” Jisoo felt Jennie’s hands on her cheeks, her signature soft smile telling Jisoo that it will be okay.

 

“ I just - it has been so long. I don’t know how she would react. I’m so terrified.” Jisoo finally admits to herself.

 

“ Look, you are her sister, no circumstance, not even your past, will ever change that.” And just like every other moment in Jisoo’s life, Jennie knocks some sense to her.

 

“I feel so dumb right now, all those years in the agency but I can’t even come up with a feasible plan to win my sister back.” Jisoo’s pent up frustration over the years speaks for her.

 

“Jisoo, love, since when did you plan? There was never a moment that you followed protocol back when we were working. This is Lisa we’re talking about, tell her the truth and do what your heart tells you to do afterwards. She deserves all of the truth that we’ve been trying to cover up for so long.”

 

“What if --” Jisoo tries so hard to find a way to explain how much the truth terrifies her and how frightening it is to think about the fact that she might lose her sister again when she finds out.

 

“Stop it, Jisoo. You know she’s safe now. We both know damn well that she is absolutely safe now, she has always been safe Jisoo. No one can harm her, not on my watch and I’ll make sure that no one comes for my family.” Jisoo’s thoughts were immediately haltered by the coldness in Jennie’s voice.

 

“Jen, hey.. You’re doing it again.” A sudden flashback of their moments at the agency invades Jisoo’s mind, she holds Jennie's hands, instinctively, hoping that the warmth would bring them back to the present, their final assignment, a hope for a new beginning.

 

“Sorry, force of habit. Come now, rest up and tomorrow we’ll finally say Hi to our Lisa.” Out of all the truths that Jisoo had known in her entire life, Jennie being charmed by her little sister Lisa, is the only truth that will never be hidden no matter how much they try.

 

“She’s so tall now Jen.. and so beautiful, my charming little baby.” And for what it’s worth, this is also Jisoo’s truth. It will always be her truth.

 

“I know, love. I know. And just so you know, she’s not your baby anymore.” Jennie puffs out her cheeks cutely, sticking out her tongue at Jisoo.

 

“What do you mean? She’s still my baby sister! You’re so mean, babe!” Jisoo decides to hop on the babie train with her own version of aegyo, hands on her waist and a scrunched up nose.

 

“I think she’s dating that gorgeous blonde woman, remember the one that I spoke to when I dropped by the centre?” Now, it’s Jennie’s turn to use the Roseanne card.

 

“What do we have on her?!” Jisoo jumped out of bed and nagged her wife to give out information.

 

“Jisoo, calm down. We don’t do background checks anymore. I’d say we do our best and patch things up with our Lisa and then we ask her girlfriend for dinner. That’s how we’ll get to know her okay? Like normal people do.” Jennie immediately responded.

 

“Ugh fine, Jen. A little background check won’t hurt, you know.” Jisoo whispered, shrugged her shoulders, and went back to bed.

 

“Mm-hm. We are done with this conversation.” Jennie answered with a ton of confidence in her tone and a smirk on her face.

 

“No way.. No ing way Jen! You did it, didn’t you?” Jisoo knows her wife, Jisoo exactly knows what Jennie did.

 

“What are you talking about?” Jennie bit into the trap, the Jisoo interrogation has begun.

 

“Don’t give me that smug face, you mandu cheeks! What did I tell you about calling Irene?!” Jisoo laid out her first trap card.

 

“All right fine.. Fine.. I was curious too okay? So, I asked a little help from Rene, it’s just random checks. I just wanted to make sure that she’s.. you know, clear.” Well, that was quick, Jisoo thought to herself.

 

“Jeeeeennnnn.. Lisa’s going to banish us forever if she finds out about this.” Jisoo lowered her voice, feeling remorseful, she deserved the puppy eyes that Jennie is currently giving her.

 

“I was just checking.. I’ll be the one to tell her when the time comes, for now, our top priority is to get our Lisa back and for you to get some sleep.”

 

“Mmm, our little Lisa..” is Jisoo’s last words before she closes her eyes, every single night, for years.

 

“Yes, our Lisa..” is Jennie’s only response to Jisoo as she kissed her wife good night, thanking the heavens for the opportunity to finally see her Jisoo genuinely happy.

 

***

 

Lisa felt a little bit better after having the talk with Jacob plus a whole night of worrying and re-assuring herself that everything happens for a reason, she is so ready for work and everything that comes with it.

 

So ready.

 

Shades to cover up the dark circles under her eyes, a cup of hot chocolate in her hands. She walks up to her office, giving Somi a salute as she passes by her.

 

“Rough night champ?” Somi gave Lisa a once-over.

 

“Back to work, Somi. Morning to you, too.” Lisa noticed and immediately responded.

 

“Oh, you bet I did. Cleared your schedule today.” Somi proudly responded.

 

“You what? Did you miss out on the fact that I ditched work yesterday?” Lisa almost spilled her hot chocolate.

 

“Oh please, Lisa. I can’t even remember the last time you took a leave from work.” Somi is definitely not having it.

 

“Somi, I don’t have time for pranks, I promise to look at that 9gag video you sent me, just cut me some slack for a little while, please?” At this point, of rare occurrence, Lisa was practically begging for a little peace.

 

“You haven’t seen it yet?!” You’re lucky Little Miss Australian is inside your office or else I’ll ruin your precious bangs!” Somi is unrelenting.

 

“WHAT?!” The hot chocolate was done for and so was Lisa.

 

“She dropped by yesterday, too. What’s wrong with you?! She said you haven’t responded to her messages and she just wants to check up on you.. The hell, Lisa?!” Did we ever made it clear that Somi is an intern? It doesn’t look like it.

 

“Huh.. I was just, out of it yesterday, sorry.” At this point, Lisa just decides to be honest, there was no point in arguing with Somi, she doesn’t come to war without her weapons.

 

“Yeah I figured. Now, go in there and don’t keep her waiting. You have a meeting with the Turtle Rabbit in the afternoon. After that, your schedule is clear.” And her weapons are clearly laid out.

 

“...”

 

“I thought so, too. It’s high time, Lisa. Jake and I will be here for you no matter what, don’t forget.” Somi took that silence as an answer.

 

“Thanks Somi. I guess it’s time to face the music, huh?”

 

“It’s long overdue Lisa, you know it.”

 

Lisa’s office space had gorgeous glass windows with a breathtaking view of a park filled with luscious green trees and a sea of flowers, she had always wanted an office space that was conducive to solace and not a resounding reminder of work.

 

Today, she was graced by another heart-stopping view of a certain Park. Blonde hair with a pair of lovely expressive eyes. A smile that makes her regret not seeing this Park everyday, Lisa yearns to stay in whichever space that this pretty little flower exists, an emphatic reminder that damn, I have work to do.

 

“Hey.” Lisa said it’s time to get to work as she greets a clueless Roseanne who was toying around with her chair, appreciating the view from her office space.

 

“Hey, yourself.” Roseanne smiled but proceeded to give her an awfully cute rendition of I’m-not-amused-by-your-no-response-Lisa

 

“Sorry I wasn’t able to reply to your messages yesterday, something came up.” Lisa tries to get it together without breaking her reserve, Roseanne’s pout and fluffy cheeks weren't helping.

 

“No, no it’s okay. I just thought I’ll bring lunch over you know.” Roseanne shifted to her usual shy self.

 

“Yeah, sorry about that too.” Lisa’s voice was almost inaudible

 

“Mm-hm, so what’s up? What’s with the shades, superstar?” Roseanne noticed Lisa’s shyness, so she tried to joke around the life coach.

 

“Oh! Um well, I just felt like wearing it today.” Lisa plainly answered.

 

“Even indoors?” Roseanne tries again.

 

“Yeah, fashion statement. Trendsetter.” Lisa felt like she threw a lot of energy in that statement, Roseanne heard otherwise.

 

“Is everything okay Lisa?” Roseanne decides to break the small talk, this is not the usual goofy Lisa that she knows.

 

“Well.. no, actually.” Lisa admitted.

 

“Aww babe.. I mean, what’s wrong?” I-uh, I’m here if you want to talk about it, we can talk about it over lunch? Is it okay to eat here?” Roseanne was quick on her feet, regretting the one time she let herself speak carelessly.

 

“Yeah, no problem. You up for another story time?” Lisa heard that, loud and clear but she was determined to clear things out before she admits her feelings for Roseanne.

 

“Yes, always.” Roseanne answered with utmost sincerity.

 

“Remember that one story I told you last time, we were on your porch and drinking tea.” Lisa grabbed a chair and joined Roseanne in appreciating the office view.

 

“Yup, about your friends, the owner of the centre.” Roseanne quickly responds.

 

“Right, you see there’s more to that story. I’m sorry I kinda omitted some details because I wasn’t really ready to talk about it, but things have changed, and I want to be honest to you.” Lisa scooted closer which didn’t go unnoticed by Roseanne.

 

“I understand Lisa, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’m here to listen, okay?” Roseanne calmly caressed Lisa’s hands with her thumb, gave out her sweetest smile and hoped it comforts Lisa even just for a little bit.

 

“So, the girls in that story were my sister and I.” Lisa gave out a weak smile as she proceeded to tell the one story that she swore no one will ever hear.

 

“I was an orphan.. And I met my best friend, my sister Jisoo at the shelter that our parents put up.. Sometimes I feel like people think about how I must’ve had a lonely childhood and I didn’t have a concept of family because I was an orphan.

 

Well, like I always tell my clients, I hate to break it to you, but that was not the case, I’m very lucky to have met Jisoo and our parents. When I was young, I didn’t even understand what being an orphan means, all I know was that I have a lot of siblings and Jisoo was my favorite sister. The concept of family, the people around me that time made it absolutely clear and I’ll forever be grateful for that.

 

Jisoo and I, we grew together as best friends, as sisters most importantly. She was my pillar of strength, she’s gorgeous, ridiculously intelligent and absurdly hilarious. She was everything I could ever wish for a sister. How I wish I was the same for her..

 

Life happened, and it always seems to strike at the moments when you are most vulnerable, your lowest point, even at your all time highs.

 

I remember it was Jisoo’s 18th birthday. It wasn’t your typical party and Jisoo of course wasn’t your typical celebrant.

 

She turned the entire shelter into a party venue. Birthday cave, that’s what she called it. She’s weird like that sometimes.

 

Everyone was so happy that day! I almost feel like crying now that I’m thinking about it, we were happy. Really, genuinely happy.

 

When our parents passed away, Jisoo and I got closer than we could ever be, I remember her saying that grief comes in different forms and that we will face it together no matter how difficult it’s going to be, that I will never be alone anymore because I’m stuck with her forever.

 

Our parents, although they weren’t my biological parents, they were so loving and sweet, as if I was their own. It was a rough patch for Jisoo and I. I’ll never understand how we pulled through, but we did.

 

College came and we got so caught up with it. We barely see each other at home nor at school and the rare times that we do, it wasn’t the same anymore. Something changed and I didn’t know what it was. It has always been the raging fuel of our disagreements. Jisoo would always fake a smile and apologize just to end the conversation, but I knew better.

 

There were days that we were more than okay.. thanks to Jennie, my favorite in-law. I call her that because I firmly believe that out of all the girlfriends that my sister had, Jennie is my sister’s end game. No questions asked. If they didn’t end up together, I’ll smack the hell out of my sister if ever we see each other again.

 

In a way, Jennie is my sister’s polar opposite. She was reserved. Jisoo was all kinds of loud. She’s a perfectionist. Jisoo was spontaneous. But like every comparison and contrast, my sisters found a common ground, it was love. They were every definition of love.

 

Jennie kept the both of us at bay. The perfect rainbow emerging out of every storm that Jisoo and I had. I admired both of them a lot, they have contributed a lot to who I am today, as a woman, as a life coach, as Lisa.

 

Senior year came and Jisoo was aloof once again. It took every bit of my strength to confront her about it.

 

“I have to do this for myself, I can’t afford to lose you or Jennie. I will never be able to live with that.” That was the last thing I heard from her.

 

Of course, I did my best to find them. All I found was Jisoo’s graduation letter to Jennie. Nothing else. All my life I looked for answers until I grew tired and hopeless.

 

I got so used to people leaving me behind so I promised myself that in this lifetime, to the best of my abilities, no one will ever be left behind, not on my watch. So, here we are.. A life coach..”

 

“Lisa, I- I don’t know what to say.. You’ve been through a lot, and I’m so proud of you..” Roseanne wiped the tears from Lisa’s eyes as she struggled to find the words to express her admiration for the strong woman in front of her.

 

“It’s okay, Rosie. We all have our struggles; we all have our ways of dealing with it.” Lisa meekly answered while looking out the window, she decides to rest her head on Roseanne’s shoulder, a habit that both of them have started to develop.

 

“So, is this where the story ends?” Roseanne asks, her voice almost humming, as if she was trying to console Lisa.

 

“Well, that’s the thing.. I think this is just the beginning... I received an email from my sister yesterday.” Lisa trails off for a bit, she closes her eyes and lets Roseanne’s voice linger in her thoughts, a state of serenity, she thinks.

 

“And, you don’t know how you feel about it.” Roseanne continued.

 

“Yes..” Lisa agreed, it’s as if Roseanne put her thoughts into words that she cannot seem to say, it’s as if Roseanne understood what it feels like to lose someone, abruptly and without any warning.

 

“ I know you are deeply hurt and confused, we will never invalidate that fact, all I’m saying is that whenever you’re ready, I think you should talk to your sisters, there’s a reason why they left and that might also be the reason why they’re back.. Not everyone is given a chance to say goodbye nor a second chance at another hello.” Roseanne took this opportunity to share her own story of loss and yearning.

 

“Thank you Rosie. I don’t plan on running away from them, I know that this day will come, everything is just happening so fast, I don’t think I can keep up.” Lisa bares her soul and at this point, she couldn’t care less.

 

“Then don’t. Move at your own pace Lisa. No one is obliging you to meet them right away, take your time. I understand that this is a big deal.” Roseanne continued to caress Lisa’s hands, closing her eyes and let herself speak freely once again.

 

“I am, it’s just that a huge part of me wants to see them as soon as I can, it has been so long and I feel like there’s a gaping hole in my chest and..” Lisa’s voice broke, pointing to her chest as she let the tears fall and her walls break down in complete vulnerability.

 

“I’m pretty sure they miss you a lot too Lisa. Who wouldn’t miss that bubbly face of yours?” Roseanne can feel herself about to tear up, there’s something in the way that Lisa is completely vulnerable and genuine in this moment, something that makes her heart ache and beat irregularly, something that makes her want to stay in her life until everything is settled and she will be the first person to witness how Lisa’s face would light up once again.

 

“Thank you for hearing me out Rosie.. My life is a whole drama, i’m so sorry for the theatrics.” Lisa sniffed, proceeded with a little chuckle, a part of her wants to stay like this with Roseanne until the sun sets down and paints a completely different version of the park in front of them. Staring out into the horizon with someone special, so cliche but what is life without cliches, Lisa thought to herself.

 

“No, no. It’s your story. I am glad that you shared it with me and you trusted me, that means so much..” It was Roseanne’s turn to be honest.

 

“You mean a lot to me, too.” and Lisa was dead serious when she said that she has a lot of work to do.

 

“Hmm?” was all Roseanne could say, her cheeks hurt from smiling and her voice was on the verge of losing its calmness, a part of her wants to scream and ask the universe if this is real or is just part to the grander scheme of things, a plot in how life works.

 

“After all of this, I’m going to tell you another story. A much more engaging one, I promise.” And when Lisa tells her this with a playful wink, Roseanne knows that it doesn’t matter whether the universe will play her dirty or not, she is about to create a story, together with this strong woman, in breakthroughs or through downfalls, it doesn’t freaking matter as long as Lisa is beside her, just like this. With more moments like this.

 

“Whatever it is Lisa, I’m all ears.” Roseanne answers Lisa with a proud smile on her face, she puts it out there, hoping the universe hears her loud and clear.