Hyewon

"You're ignoring Joshua-oppa aren't you?" I almost spat out the water im drinking. 
Wonyoung is standing on the other side of the breakfast nook her face disgusted as if I just confirmed the worst thing possible. 
I haven't even said a thing. 
"No?"
"No? You left your phone on the sofa. He called 10 times that's nowhere near accidental"
I opened my mouth to respond. 
But i couldn't form anything. 
What do I say? 
I'm pretty sure anything that'll come out of my mouth would confirm it.

Or I could just deny deny deny. 

So I ended up saying "That's none of your business" 

I knew it was the wrong thing to say when her eyes widened as if she realized something.

"Unnie, you confessed to him didn't you?"

Oh !

I'm trying to come up with any excuses.

I didn't

So I run to my bedroom like a kid and close the door hard. 

Real mature Hyewon!...

Wonyoung is banging on the other side her voice near laughter. 

"Didn't you? Unnie? Omayghadness" I can hear her say before I cover my ears with my pillow. 

*****

The teasing started back in 10th Grade. 

1st year of high school. I was in the General Department of IZNE and he was in the Artist Program. We both got the same PE schedule so we're both in the court when that happened. 

When I got hit by a ball. 

The Boys in the Artist Program we're playing basketball then and I was helping in sorting the things in the storage room. 

I was carrying a box outside when the ball came towards me hitting my face making me fall on my feet the box falling over me. 

I was laying on the floor, eye closed, my face hurts and my hand where the box fell hurts too. 

 
I heard the whistle blew and shoes skidding to stop. My eyes are still close until I felt a hand touch my forehead and a voice asking if I'm okay. 

"Hyewon-a" I opened my eyes to see Joshua beside me sweat dripping off his face and a towel is draped on his head. 

He looks worried.

"I'm so sorry," JB said, I'm guessing he's the one who threw the ball. 

"I'm okay" I reassured him.

"Coach can we take her to the Clinic" Jake asked. 

I was about to argue cause they're making it a big deal and the other students watching are on their feet looking at me. 

I didn't notice theirs a lot of audiences. 

I felt my nose sting before something drip from it. 

"Coach her nose is bleeding" Joshua announced taking the towel one of my classmates is giving him. I didn't notice them behind me.  

He covered my nose with it, seeing my blood staining the white towel. 

"Take her to the clinic and make sure she's okay. The rest of you take a break" Coach said blewing the whistle. 

Joshua helped me stand up his left hand holding the towel while he supported me and my left hand on his shoulder.

"Are they together?" I heard one of my new friends asked. 

"He's always with her," the next one said. 

"They're childhood friends" Jake answered. He's one of our classmates back in middle school so I guess he knew us pretty much. 

That didn't stop the rumors though.

We didn't bother correcting them cause it'll only get worst.

It stopped when Mina came.

We're still close even when he's together with Mina.

I always said nothing can tear us apart.

I never thought we'll stop being friends because of me.

*****

"It's not because of JayHo" I muttered. I lay on the sofa head hitting the throw pillows carefully placed by the person in front of me. I'm in our CEO's office, I requested an appointment last week. 

"It's not the end of the world Hyewon. I mean JayHo is a big company sure but there will be more opportunities out there"

I guess she didn't hear me correctly.  

I'm hungry. 

Ugh!

"You've already made up your mind didn't you?"

I sat up and nodded. 

Our CEO sighed. 

"You're one of our most booked models, It's a shame really"

"It's just for a year, I'm planning on coming back after I got myself sorted out in my Class I just shifted to Math and I'm really behind. And besides most of the contracts to the Brands  have already ended"

"You really love Math don't you" I smiled. I know she's kidding but I really want this. I've been thinking about shifting for quite a while.

I just made up my mind ahead.

"You sure about this? You know it'll be be hard to come back after a hiatus"

"I know"

"Okay then, I'll wish you luck. You'll be miss you know that already"

I smiled at her then went on to hug her. 

"I'll miss you to Miss Han"

I got out of the office. I was on my way to the cafeteria to say goodbye when I saw them. 

Mina is hugging Joshua and they look happy. Joshua smiling while patting the back of her head. 

For some reason that hit me hard. 

He used to do that to me all the time whenever I'm feeling sad. He'll hug me and pat the back of my head saying it'll be okay. 

I know it's his way of comforting someone but-

He saw me when Mina releases him from the hug. 

"Hyewon?" 

Shoot! thank God I'm wearing running shoes. I hurriedly went to the elevator closing it and seeing Joshua coming towards me

I'm not about to end my streak of ignoring him

*****

"You really did it?" Minju asked her eyes widening mouth open in shock. 

I'm laying on her bed while she's typing an essay on her laptop.

I told her about leaving the company and modeling in general. 

I've got enough savings to go through college and I still got Dad's trust fund.

"It'll be weird though, I mean most of my life centers in School and Modelling so without the other one I'm kinda lost"

"Most of your life centers around Food and Gaming what the heck are you talking about"

"shut up" I said playfully tossing her a pillow. 

She ignored it as it hit her back and fell on the floor. 

"I saw your Pace and Walks Photoshoot in the magazine"

"It came out?" 

"Yeah, the top one on my nightstand" I went on and took it. I must have forgotten, I'm pretty sure Mia told me about it coming out. 

I'm looking at our picture. The one where we're in the fields. 

Before our argument. 

"You told Joshua about it?" Minju asked taking my eyes off the picture to look at her. 

Here we go again. I ignored the question and went to grab her stash of gummy bears on the nightstand. 

"You're still not talking to him?"

"Nope"

"It's been 2 weeks you know. I saw him in the cafeteria yesterday, he looks miserable he asked about you and truthfully I don't even know what's going on inside your head for the past 2 weeks. You manage to shift course, leave your company and not talk about food for the past few days"

"That's because I got plenty of food at home I'm not even craving anything"

"Says the girl who's eating my stash of gummy bears"

"Thanks, I'll buy you a new one"

"I'm serious Hyewon talk to him. You'd been friends for years"

"And he picked Mina, what am I supposed to do? I confessed, he said sorry and I saw them hugging on my way out of the company and it's doing to my heart"

"So you're going to ignore him forever?"

"Minju-ya let's eat,  you'll write better if we eat"

She rolled her eyes ignoring my obvious way of avoiding the question and stood up from her desk. 

"Lets Go"

"YEY" 

"I'm gonna ignore you avoiding that question but think about it Hyewonie"

I don't even know the answer to it. 

******

"What are you doing here?" the question came out of my mouth as soon as I saw Joshua and Hoshi sitting in front of me. 

Chaeyeon looked away and so did Sakura while Minju and the Guys grin stupidly. 

I should have known. 

"Why? Am I not allowed to be here?"

"While I'm here Yes" 

"Cut it out we're all friends here remember?" Minghao said. 

"Where's Jun?" Chae asked trying to ease out the tension. I focused on the food in front of me trying hard not to look at Joshua who is staring at me. 

"Photoshoot I guess, speaking of shoot why haven't you been to class lately Hye-chan?"  my eyes widened. 

Shoot I forgot to tell them about me shifting. 

I looked at Hoshi who asked the question when Sakura answered it for me. 

"She's shifting to the Science Department"

"Wait what? and you never told us? Damn Hyewonie I thought we're friends" Mingyu is joking I know that but somehow I felt guilty. 

"You know about this?" Minghao asked Joshua.

"No" he answered, I can feel the edge to his voice and I don't know anger?

The awkwardness is back tenfold. 

"Can we talk?" Joshua asked looking at me. But he didn't even wait for me to answer before he stood up and walked outside.

"You should follow, he looked pissed," Minju said. 

"The hell" I muttered before following him.

He's waiting for me outside.

As soon as he saw me, he walked away towards the main campus. 

Is he expecting me to follow him?

I did anyway. 

He didn't stop until we got near the Art Department's Studios.

He went in tapping his ID on one of the Dance Studio before going inside. 

I was thinking of leaving because maybe he really didn't want me to follow him.

He didn't say a thing when he left.

I turn my back, I even left my food unfinished. I was about to leave when the door opened again. 

I looked at him and he glared at me before signaling to follow him. 

"Your acting like an you know that right?" I muttered under my breath. 

I followed him inside. 

He's standing in the front leaning on one of the large speakers.  

I stood there awkwardly arms cross cause I feel vulnerable with the two of us here. 

I haven't talked to him for 2 weeks, for some reason, I don't even know how anymore. 

He wasn't saying anything at all.

"Aren't you gonna talk or I'll go back I haven't even finished eating my f-"

"I heard you quit the company" he spoke so weakly I barely catch it. 

"I did" I answered looking at the floor, it looked so interesting at the moment. 

"And you shift courses to?" 

"Yeah"

"Can't you look at me when you're speaking?" 

That got me angry. I raised my head looking straight before I said "Why are you angry about this? We're no longer friends remember?"

"And I agreed to that? No, I didn't, you're the only one who decided to kick me out of your life after I told you I need you in it"

"You don't. You don't need me there Joshua thinks about it. You discarded me whenever Mina needs you. You rush to her side whenever she calls you and you left me in that party knowing I feel ty and left to take her home. You ignore me whenever she's there. How the hell do you still need me?"

"I-"

I'm fuming inside my head hurting and my heart is doing all kind of pulling. 

"I told you I like you and you said you want me to be your friend. I can't do that anymore cause it still hurts"

He run his fingers through his hair, biting his lips.  

 "Hyewon-a" he muttered voice quivering. 

"I know you're thinking about our friendship and I am too but can you let me ignore you for a bit. Maybe after all this, I can finally stand in front of you  and smile like we used to"

I rush to the door because any minute in front of him would end up with me crying. 

********

Your Mom let me in that rooftop. I know you don't want to talk but can you let me say this to you at least. 

I checked the time on my desk. 

It's already 10 why is he up there. 

I took my phone and went outside, taking the stairs to the rooftop. When I'm finally outside the door, I hesitated opening it. 

Its been 2 days since my outburst at the studio. 

When I went back to the cafeteria the others didn't question why Joshua wasn't with me. It only means we haven't reconciled. 

They talked about me shifting to the Science Department instead. 

I opened it. 

I look around when I saw him laying on the daybed. 

He must have heard the door opening because he stood up suddenly. 

That startled me. 

He smiles at me. 

I felt butterflies in my stomach. 

"You came," he said. 

"What do you want to say?" I asked.

 He kept quiet. 

I closed my eyes. If he's not gonna talk-

"It's almost midnight are you really gonna stay-"

"I miss you"

 My heart did a backflip, but my brain slapped it with an of course he misses you. You'd been best friends since elementary.

"I miss you too but-"

"Its not like that" 

"Not like what?"

"It's not because we'd been friends for so long. I miss seeing your face, I miss talking to you. I even miss the way you kept asking me for food or you acting cute whenever you want me to treat you"

"Jos-"

"Please let me finish"

I hugged myself. Wrapping my arms around my waist because I feel like my heart dropped to my stomach. 

"Whenever something good happens you're the first one I want to talk to. I always want to know your opinion on something and It hurts to know that I can't do that anymore. It hurts to know I can no longer make you chocolate because truthfully you're the only one I give them to and imagining you not talking to me hurts me more than I thought it would. Hyewon-a I know you won't believe this now but I really really like you"

I close my eyes tears threatening to fall.

"What about Mina?" I muttered. 

"I was just really helping her out-"

"But you said-"

"I turned her down the next day after I told you about it. I thought about us being more than friends before but I was scared. Whenever I thought of us being together and breaking up afterward the thought of us ignoring each other for years is just, it kept me away from telling you. That's why when you confess to me I- I was a coward"

My heart is trying to get out of my chest. 

"And now?" I asked. 

"I'm telling this to you now. If you're still in doubt I'll accept it really it's just that--"

"And if I believe it?"

That got his attention. He approaches me carefully as if he's afraid I'll run. 

When I stood my ground and he's near me he reach his hands parting my hair to the side. 

"Do you really believe me?" he asked. 

I looked at his eyes before I nodded. 

He pulled me to a hug his right hand went to the back of my head while his left hand to my back. 

I got my hands to my side before I finally wrap it around his back. 

He smells nice. 

"But promise me if this doesn't work out we'll still be friends" I muttered. He shifts his hands now wrapped around my waist.

He leaned his forehead to my shoulder nodding. 

"I really miss you," he said. I smiled. 

"Me too"

*****

A/N: Hyewonie's STORY FINALLY DONE! Ugh I made this while reviewing for an exam and I'll be going back to reviewing again huhuhu sorry for the slow update I really am. Thank you for reading this really I am eternally grateful.