Son Seungwan discovered a life-changing fact about herself. She, Son Seungwan, might not be as straight as she thought she was. Flustered by her discovery, she googled How do you know if you are straight? And of course, there was a wikiHow search result.

1. Determine whether you feel attracted to people of the opposite gender.

Son Seungwan mentally went through a list of male artists that she was close to or had been in contact with. Well, there was Junmyeon that would always greet her and the members with some of his tacky dance moves. She chuckled at a particular memory of Red Velvet's beloved leader jumping in shock when Junmyeon appeared out of nowhere dancing to Russian Roulette. After the numerous times Joohyun gets startled by Junmyeon, she had Seungwan keep a watch out for suspicious people whenever they were in the company.

There was also Eric, her fellow foreigner. Despite their age difference, Seungwan thought that they had more in common than she would have expected. Eric was who she would go to when she starts craving for those sinfully delicious poutine. Amongst all Canadian food, poutine wouldn't appear in ther top five list of the most delicious delicacies in Canada. Joohyun was the one who liked poutine, not her.

She remembered the day Joohyun excitedly dragged her out of their shared hotel room, pestering her for an "Introduction to Canadian food". Seungwan remembered the sheer exhaustion that day after their Toronto concert. She didn't know if it was Joohyun's excitement or the familiarity of everything around her, Seungwan realized she wasn't so tired after all. They settled down in Seungwan's favorite diner with Joohyun glancing around curiously at what the other customers had ordered. The older took the liberty of ordering the diner's signature poutine to share after her short survey of the surrounding patrons.

Seungwan had always been indifferent to poutine no matter how much people liked it, but that particular poutine was exceptionally tasty.

2. Figure out whether you feel comfortable dating someone of the opposite gender

Son Seungwan had never thought about getting into a relationship before. Sooyoung once said that Seungwan had put all the attention meant for boys, on the Red Velvet members. She had heard things about a certain male artist crushing on her, but she never bothered about it. Seungwan knew what she wanted from a relationship, a sense of safety. And safety was what she felt around her members. 

It came as a surprise to her members when she disclosed her MBTI personality at the very beginning. No one would have expected the seemingly cheerful and outgoing vocalist to be an introvert. Seungwan had always liked the idea of staying on her bed for eternity if that was possible. She loathed gatherings unlike her fellow member Seulgi. If Seulgi was a social butterfly, Seungwan would be a hermit. She panicked easily around huge crowds of people, especially during those joint concerts and music programs. This was where Joohyun came in place, no other member could calm Seungwan down as fast as their leader.

It might have been Joohyun's calming voice or the pair of hands that would intertwine with hers, all she knew was that Joohyun brings peace to her. 

3. Examine your friendships.

Seungwan recalled those times when fans were astonished by her friendship with other artists. She was still amused at the fact that her fans thought she was friendless, Son Seungwan was very well comfortable with making friends.

Bae Joohyun was probably the hardest person she befriended. At the start, the leader didn't speak much, always looking disinterested when they were alone (she would later find out Joohyun was just afraid to speak because of her accent). Joohyun scared Seungwan so much that the latter would excuse herself whenever Joohyun was around. It didn't stop until Joohyun dragged Seungwan to the corner of the practice room. 

"Are you avoiding me?" Joohyun frowned seeing Seungwan's facial expressions that screamed I AM TERRIFIED. Seungwan was looking at everything but her.

"N-no? I uhm I'm not avoiding anyone right now. Ha Ha" Seungwan lets out a stiff laugh before trying to squeeze her way out with Joohyun cornering her.

"I heard from the others that you seem to be afraid of me?" Joohyun gripped Seungwan's wrist, stopping her escape. "You can tell me anything you know? I am the leader after all." 

When Joohyun was certain that the younger wouldn't be running away, she let go of the younger's wrist. Her expression softened when Seungwan finally faced her. 

"Let's do this step by step, okay?" Joohyun softly said before turning to leave the practice room. 

Sometimes Seungwan thinks that she still hasn't gotten over her fear yet. What else could explain those symptoms of fear when she was around Joohyun? Her lightheadedness when the latter was close to her, her accelerated heart rate when she sees the latter, the tingles she felt when the latter touched her.

Son Seungwan did not realize she missed out on the most important part. "People are most comfortable being friends with people they aren’t romantically attracted to."

4. Use your imagination.

She tried to picture herself with Junmyeon at the beach. Seungwan snickered at the thought of Junmyeon dancing to Red Velvet songs at the beach when the sun sets. If that were to happen, she would only feel embarrassed. She definitely hated this idea. 

Eric would definitely have been the mood-maker. Telling her dad jokes here and there, making quick-witted remarks that would make her laugh. Seungwan would have enjoyed it. If only sunsets aren't so mesmerizing, so enchanting that it takes away all of her.

The beach was her favorite place, with the calming sounds of waves, the beautiful horizon and, most importantly, the sunset. The prettiest sunset Seungwan had ever seen was in Thailand when they were filming Level-up Project. The soft sand warmed her up as she lay down comfortably, listening to Joohyun's mindless chatters on why they should watch the sunset more often. It was perfect. 

Seungwan thought to herself, Joohyun would have been perfect. 

"If you mainly enjoy imagining yourself with the person of your choice, you may be attracted to him or her."

She froze. Oh god.

5. Imagine yourself with different ual identities

Son Seungwan came to a conclusion.

"Son Seungwan just liked Bae Joohyun"

P.S. Hope you enjoy this chapter:) Do let me know if there are any mistakes or whatnot if you come across them! 

I'm not sure if you guys prefer fluff or angst more, you guys can also let me know that! (I have ideas for both and the preferred genre will get written first)