Throwing my gaze to the night view in front of me, my mind wandered away. I felt so miserable. My heart did not feel at peace and I did not know the reason which made it even more upsetting. I was not sure if that because of the dejavu I had earlier but surely it was the part of it. I could not even look at Jongin properly when we had our dinner earlier.

"What are you thinking about so deep?" I felt Jongin's arms around my waist. Out of sudden, my body tensed up.

"Do you have any problem to share?" Jongin asked.

Jongin then kissed the nape of my neck which I did not know why I found it uncomfortable. Shouldn't I like it when my boyfriend did that? Instantly I turned around to face him. Putting a smile on my face, I tried to hide my misery.

"I'm just thinking about work. There's nothing to worry about" I assured him. Jongin creased a smile. There was a brief silence before he continued.

"You know I really love you, don't you?" Jongin caressed my cheeks gently.

"I never have a woman who cares so much for me before. You're the first. And it feels so great" Jongin's confession made me gulped in nervousness. 

"I love you, Kang Yoora" Jongin said softly almost close to a whisper. 

Cupping my cheeks, Jongin locked our lips together. I closed my eyes, kissing him back despite the uneasiness growing inside me which I could not decipher why. Jongin pushed me to the corner as he deepened our kiss. His hand then traveled down to the back of my head to bring me closer.

His another hand found its way to my shirt, starting to unbotton it one by one. Surprised by his action, I held his hand, stopping him. Jongin pulled away from me. As frown was formed on his forehead. I felt very sorry when I looked at his puzzled face but it could not surpass the wrongful feelings I had in my heart. I just could not do it with this man.

"I'm sorry" with that, I left him with thousand of questions.

...

Losing the strength in my legs, I staggered towards the front door. There were too many things running through my head that I thought it was going to explode any soon. I felt like a bad woman as Jongin's confused face appeared in front of me but at the same time, my heart told me it was the right thing to do which I found very upsetting because I just could not think of a reason.

I was turning the knob when my eyes caught a glimpse of a familiar figure in the yard. Even though his back was facing me, I already knew it was Sehun. I glanced at my watch to see it was already 12. Curious, I paced closer silently. There was something in Sehun's hand.

Before I managed to speak, I saw Sehun's shoulder moving up and down. Then, I heard he sniffed as if he was crying. Okay, he was really crying because soon after I heard him sob a little, hindering me from approaching him. Weirdly, my heart was wrenched at the sight of Sehun crying. Somehow I wanted to embrace him, wiped those tears of him and soothed him. 

Realizing I was a bit out of my mind, I shook my head to remove such thoughts. Quietly, I turned around and made my way back into the house, leaving Sehun alone. I thought I was going to be fine but even when I was getting ready for bed, Sehun did not leave my mind! I could not help but to feel worried about him. Sehun rarely cried but he did it a little bit too much lately.

Just what on earth he was looking at that he cried that hard?

...

I was here again, in that white world and the melody was filling the air. The girl I met from before appeared at the back of my mind. Wandering around, I wished to see her again. To my luck, I found her. No--she found me. Smiling, the little girl stood in front of me. As if her smile was contagious, I smiled back at her.

But that smile of hers suddenly faded away, replaced with a sorrowful cry. Panic, I scurried to her. Bending down, I pulled her into my embrace. I patted her back gently, trying to calm her down. I pulled away to have a better look of her. She really looked like me. Is this me from the past? Is my past self trying to tell me something?

"Why are you crying?" I asked while fixing her hair.

"You can't" she muffled in her cry.

"What can't I do?" I could not understand her at all! The girl shook her head. Stepping backward, the girl then turned around, running away. 

"Hey kid!" I tried to chase after her but to no avail because the melody had stopped and the world began to crumple down, swallowing me into the darkness.

My eyes fluttered open just to find that I was in someone's embrace. Looking up, I found Sehun staring into my eyes. My gaze then fell on my arms around his waist. Sehun suddenly pulled me closer and rested his chin on my head. I froze in my spot, clueless on what was happening. Did I wake up to another dream?

"Sleep" Sehun hushed me to sleep. His hand patted me on my shoulder gently. The warmth in his arms soothed me, making it hard for me to refuse. My eyelids became heavier and heavier.

Without me realizing, I fell asleep.

...

"Aigoo look at your face. Slowly okay?" My dad wiped the corner of my mom's lips that smeared with jellies. 

"No! We can't be late! I've told you right? I've waited for this bag to come out for so long!" My mom pursed her lips.

I shook my head as I watched my parents being all lovey dovey in the morning. My dad is the sweetest man ever existed in this world. Once he retired, he spent his times with my mom. Accompanying her shopping, bringing her to vacations and they even went for dates. I really wished my future husband would be like my father. 

"Have you done? Let's go! Sehun-ah, Yoora-ya, we'll be late tonight so have dinner without us okay?" In a split second, my mom grabbed my dad's wrist and pulled him with her. I could not help but laughed to my dad's helpless expression.

"So, shall we go now CEO Kang?" Sehun turned his head towards me. 

"Sehun oppa" I looked at him in the eyes. Sehun raised a brow.

"Did you come to my room last night?" Squinting my eyes, I asked. 

Last night, after I dreamt of that little girl, I woke up to another dream. I dreamt of Sehun but weirdly, the dream felt very real that I had a hard time to distinguish the reality and fantasy. I thought Sehun really came into my room but it was just impossible. Sehun never did that and why would he?

"What?" Sehun's forehead creased to a frown, looking as puzzled as I was. After a brief silence, I let out a laugh.

"It's impossible, isn't it? Stupid me! Nevermind, let's go" I finished my coffee and got up to get ready to work. There was no time to dwell over this matter. I got a lot other works to think about!

...

"For the volunteer event this week, everthing is done. So here is the report from the planning team and this is the financial report from CFO" Sehun placed a few reports on my desk before he continued.

"As for the free medical checkup, we had received confirmation from Sekai Hospital and they agreed to send 10 doctors to assist us" I raised my head to the word 'Sekai Hospital'. It's Jongin's...

"Is there any problem CEO Kang?" Sehun asked when there was no respond from me. 

"No-nothing. Anyway, thank you Secretary Oh. Seriously, how can I do works without you?" I chortled. 

"No CEO Kang. It's me to thank you for helping me improve myself" as usual, Sehun would give all the credits to me. Aish, this kind-hearted man. Just who would not like you?

"Alright alright. You may leave now" Sehun gave me a nod before making his leave. 

A phone call startled me. The name appeared on the screen formed a lump inside my throat, forcing me to swallow hard. Taking a lungful of air, I hesitantly slided the accept call button. 

"Jongin-ssi" my heart skipped a beat to the nervousness. 

"Yoora-ssi. Can we meet for a while?"

...

Having my head lowered down, staring at the drink in front of me seemed the most comfortable thing to do at the moment. Even when an angel disguised as a human was sitting right in front of me, I preferred to stare at the hot cappuchino. Since when this cappuchino was so intriguing?

I did not know how long Jongin and I would remain silence. Neither of us was trying to speak, far away breaking down the wall of awkwardness built between us. It had been 3 days since we last talked to each other and it was when 'that' thing happened. I knew I should apologize but I felt like my voice was taken away.

"Yoora-ssi" Okay, finally Jongin spoke up!

"I'm sorry for that night. I--I rushed it too much, isn't it?" Jongin murmured. 

"Jongin-ssi..." I let out a sigh. The problem was me not him. I was that crazy girl who rejected my handsome boyfriend! I was the one who needed to apologize!

"In these 3 days, I thought about it and I reflected on myself" Jongin continued.

"We should take everything slowly. We have so much time for us, right? So I'm really sorry" Jongin apologized again.

"No Jongin-ssi. It's me actually, I--" hesitation was lingering in me whether I should tell him about the dejavu I always had when I was with him or I should just keep it myself.

"I was--I'm sorry. There's something...I--" I played with my fingers.

"It's okay. You can tell me when you're ready, alright?" Jongin flashed me a smile. 

"Thank you so much Jongin-ssi..." I could not thank Jongin enough for being so understanding. Sudden determination appeared in me. I needed to solve this problem. How? I would think about it. Jongin was a good man and he did not deserve all these.

"So, I heard your hospital agreed to cooperate with us" I changed the topic.

"Yeah. Our doctors have start submitting names for it" Jongin sipped his drink.

"Are you going?" I asked. Jongin raised his head. A smile adorned his face.

"I'm the first one on the list"

...

"You're quite close with your secretary" Jongin uttered out when we were on our way to our volunteer event at an orphanage in the outskirt of town.

Since we were going to the same destination, Jongin offered me a ride. I accepted his offer so he agreed to pick me up in front of my house. When Sehun helped me with my luggage, they met with each other. I swore I felt the tension between both of them. I thought they would be fine together but I was not sure of it anymore.

"Since he has been with me for almost 12 years so yeah" I told Jongin the fact he had to know. I did not want him to misunderstand our relationship. Sehun was like a brother to me.

"But I don't like the way he looks at you" Jongin expressed his feelings. I turned my head to look at my jealous boyfriend. A chuckle escaped from my lips.

"Aigoo my man is being jealous right now uhm?" I pinched his cheeks lightly.

"Don't worry. Sehun loves me as his younger sister" I assured him. 

"Are you sure?" Jongin asked without looking at me. Instead, he had his eyes on the road. I did not even know why I should be hesitated to answer that question.

"Jongin-ssi. Sehun and I, there's nothing between us okay?" I tried to hide the doubt I had inside me. 

"Let's not talk about Sehun uhm? Jongin-ssi, after we have settled down with the volunteer, let's visit the beach together!" I changed the topic.

"Beach? Good idea! It's been a long time since I went there" Jongin agreed.

"Ah after the event ended, let's stay for a night. A short getaway for us" Jongin suggested.

"Good! There's a lot of places we can go! I'll ask Se--" I paused. Opss..I think I've made a mistake there..

"So--sorry I'm just too used with my secretary looking for everything for me.." I glanced at Jongin to observe his reaction. And, he did not look good.

"I'm sorry.." I lowered my head. 

"It's fine. It's your habit anyway" Jongin lied and he was a bad liar. His face told everything! It was like the word liar was written so huge on his forehead. Throwing my gaze outside, I let out a sigh of regret.

This gonna be a long ride.

Okay, I like the chapter after this and it's going to be up really soon! Thank you for reading and subscribing! Leave some comments as well because I love to read them as much as you like my story =))