After a few tries to sleep, my eyes were still wide awake. Carefully, I moved Sehun's arm around my waist. Sitting up, I laid my back on the headboard. My hand Sehun's hair gently, afraid I would wake him up. This man of mine was exhausted for that his phone kept on ringing since evening. There was a problem arose in his company which inevitably kept him busy until night. He was really the head of a company, huh?

Sighing, my thoughts drifted away to the incident earlier in the morning when I met Jongin at the hospital. That excruciating pain of my heart, the sudden tears and Sehun's teary eyes. I knew I should not think about this matter. I had promised Sehun that I would not dwell in the past and focused on the future, creating new memories. But I just could not help but being bothered.

If I thought back, this was not the first time this kind of thing happened. During our volunteer event in the orphanage, I remembered I had the same painful feelings when I watched Sehun with the kids. And it happened again when I watched a mother and her baby. Was this had something to do with a child? Did I have a child with Sehun before?

I fixed my gaze at Sehun who was sleeping soundly. I let out a sigh. I could not ask Sehun directly. He would be mad for sure. But, I had this raging curiousity about this matter. I could let go of everything in the past but somehow this unexplainable feelings of mine really took a toll on me. For the umpteenth time, I sighed.

Should I just forget about this?

...

"CEO Kang" Secretary Yoon stood up immediately upon seeing me. He gave a bow, greeting me.

"CEO Oh is having a meeting. He should be done a few minutes. You may wait for him inside" Secretary Yoon informed without being asked.

"Thank you" I gave him a smile before making my way into Sehun's office. It was still weird for me to be here. Even the title CEO in front of Sehun's name was still awkward to my ears. I was used to call him Secretary Oh and I needed time for the sudden change.

I plopped myself on the couch in Sehun's office. Sehun's scent was filling the air, the manly scent which really alluring. The corner of my lips turned upward as I saw our picture on his desk. Even though I had no memories of taking it, but I could feel the happiness we had at that time. My eyes then fell to a teddy bear placed on Sehun's seat.

Somehow it intrigued me. I never knew Sehun liked this kind of stuff. Curious, I made my way to Sehun's desk and took the bear. I deemed this teddy bear was quite old for that my eyes caught a few stitch on the teddy's tummy. Suddenly I felt my chest was tightened. Okay, now I even wanted to cry for a toy? 

"Yoora-ya" Sehun's voice snapped me back to earth. Sehun rushed to me and took the bear from my hand.

"That teddy--whose--" I pointed to the bear. 

"Ah this? Raon's kids. I think they left it here when they came earlier" Sehun avoided my gaze. He's lying...

"Gege" I suddenly blurted out an unfamiliar name. Sehun's eyes widened in utter surprise. 

"Who is Gege?" I asked.

"It--it's his name. Ho--how did you know?" Sehun stumbled with his words as he gestured to the teddy bear in his hand.

"It just crossed my mind. So this teddy's name is Gege?" I raised a brow. Sehun nodded subtly.

"Alright Gege. I want to take your hyung out for a lunch. We'll return you to your owner okay?" I diverted the topic. I could sense something really wrong and definitely not in Sehun's favor. I took Gege from Sehun and placed it back on his seat. 

"Let's go. I'm hungry" I reached for my husband's hand and stepped out, pulling him behind me. As we made our way to the car, my mind kept thinking of Gege. There was one thing I was sure about. 

Gege was Sehun's.

...

"Let's walk around. I don't want to go back to the company yet" I pouted as I locked my arm around Sehun's. Sehun rolled his eyes as if he was annoyed when in fact I knew he liked it.

"You don't have any important meetings?" Sehun quirked his brow. I shook my head and batted my eyelashes.

"Alright alright" Sehun let out a soft chuckle before pinching my nose lightly.

Sehun interlaced our fingers together and led our way. Hand in hand, we wandered around the department stores. Looking at our hands in each others made my lips curled upward, forming a smile. The warmth in his hand was still the same. It was soothing yet making my heart skipped a beat. My eyes then found their way to Sehun's chiseled face. Sometimes I wondered how could I marry a visual? It was just unbelievable yet a bless.

"Am I that handsome?" Sehun suddenly turned his head to me. A smirk was plastered on his face.

"Handsome my " I rolled my eyes. 

"Ahhh really? So I'm so ugly that you're blushing?" Sehun chuckled. I placed my palm against my cheeks just to find that it was warm. Okay, my cheeks could not lie. Suddenly Sehun dropped a kiss on it.

"Didn't I say it before, don't stare at me secretly. Just tell me and I will allow you to look at this handsome face even for hours" Sehun brought his face closer to me and cupped his cheeks. 

"Don't make me laugh" I snorted, denying the fact that I liked it. Sehun raised a brow. Pulling me close, he placed his lips against mine. My eyes widened in surprise. Sehun pulled away and stared at my face before letting out a laugh.

"You're a bad liar, honey. Look at how much my baby is blushing" Sehun caressed my reddening cheeks.

"Oppa!" I hit his arm, making Sehun laughed even louder. I rolled my eyes and stomped away from him.

"Honey baby where are you going? Don't you want to walk with this handsome oppa?" Sehun chased after me with his remaining laugh. Thanks to his long legs, he caught up with me fast. Placing his arm around my shoulder, he kissed me on the cheeks. I rounded my eyes at him.

"I love you" Sehun whispered to my ears which annoyingly worked on me as the corner of my lips turned upward, forming a smile. 

Sehun reached for my hand and interlaced our fingers again. Okay, I loved this man so much. A loud noise from far drew my attention. My eyes then caught a clown, making balloons with different shapes. Unwittingly, my direction was diverted to the clown. There was a tiny voice at the back of my mind which urged me to approach the clown.

"Yoora-ya, where are we going?" Sehun asked as he was dragged by me.

"To that ahjussi" I pointed to the clown. Sehun pulled me into a halt. He turned my body around, facing him. 

"Why?" Sehun's tone was serious as if meeting a clown was a big deal. I creased a frown as I tried to find an answer. Okay, I guessed my mind and my body did not work together that well because my brain told me that I never fond of clowns before but my body told me the otherwise as my feet walked me to the clown.

"I--don't know. I just feel that, I need to go to that ahjussi. Since when did I like clowns?" I asked Sehun because me myself could not decipher why. Sehun remained silence as if he was contemplating.

"Is that a question I shouldn't ask either?" I guessed. Sehun shook his head and smiled.

"No, it's not. I'm the one that likes clowns. You used to make fun of me because I still like clowns despite my age. So I guess your body remember that and you're trying to take me there without you realizing" Sehun said. 

"Is it?" I let out a fake laugh. 

"Yeah" Sehun nodded and took a glance to his watch.

"Omo! Honey, I think we need to go back now. I have an important meeting in an hour" Sehun immediately pulled me away from the clowns and led us to the exit.

"Ah. Al--alright" I followed quietly behind him as my mind drifted away. I did not know if it was just me who was overthinking things but I felt that Sehun was not telling the truth. It was obvious he refused to talk more about it as he changed the topic fast.

Just what on earth are you trying that hard to keep from me?

...

"Sorry if the food was not tasty" Raon apologized. I shook my head.

"No! Not at all! You're a great chef!" I was not lying though. Raon cooked really well. When I took my first bite, I thought a five star hotel chef came to cook for us! 

Raon said it had been awhile since we last ate together. So she invited Sehun and I to come over for a dinner. It was great though as I could finally greet her family properly. I knew it was not my first time but since I lost my memories, everything seemed new! I got to meet Raon's handsome husband, Do Kyungsoo and also her adorable son and daughter, Minkyu and Ara. 

"Minkyu and Ara missed you a lot" Raon said as she passed me the last plate to be wiped dry.

"I feel bad for not remembering them" I let out a sigh as I placed the plate neatly in its respective place.

"No. No. You don't need to. They understand" Raon smiled reassuringly. 

"Let's get to them" Raon quickly pulled me to the living room where the kids were playing with Sehun and Kyungsoo. We both let out a laugh as we saw Sehun and Kyungsoo already lied in the middle of the room, totally exhausted while the kids were still running here and there.

"Yoora-eomma!" Ara ran towards me. I crouched down to match with her eye level and gave Ara a hug.

"Yoora-eomma. Let's play together. Sehun-appa said he doesn't want to play anymore" Ara pursed her lips. I shook my head and lifted Ara in my arms.

"Hey I played with you a lot already!" Sehun suddenly spoke up.

"You're not tired?" I shifted my gaze to Ara. Ara shook her head.

"Yoora-eomma, hold me too!" I felt a tug on the hem of my shirt. I looked down to see Minkyu was giving me a pitiful look. 

"Min-ah! You're a big boy already" Raon shook her head.

"I'm 4 years old. I'm a kid" Minkyu pouted and crossed his arms.

"Come here to daddy" Kyungsoo got up and took Minkyu into his arm. He threw Minkyu to the air before catching him back. Minkyu let out a delightful shriek. With Ara still in my arm, I took a seat on the couch.

Ara gazed into my eyes and cupped my cheeks. She let out a giddy chuckle as she pressed my cheeks together. That chuckle somehow reminded me of someone but I just could not remember who. Someone who I longed for. Again, the painful feelings came. Soon, I felt warm tears already ran down my cheeks. 

"Yoora-eomma, why are you crying? Are you sick?" Ara asked.

"A--Ara, let's go with mommy okay?" Raon took Ara from me. Sehun immediately rushed to my side and pulled me into his embrace.

"Sehun-ah, I think it's better if you take Yoora home" Kyungsoo said. 

"I'm really sorry. Thank you for the dinner" Sehun quickly helped me to get up on my feet and made our way out. On our way home, I cried my eyes out without knowing the exact reason. Sehun did not utter a word. Instead he held my hand the entire time. 

...

Sehun propped up his head with his arm as he watched me to go to sleep. But I just could not bring myself to. I was wide awake. Sighing, I turned my body to lie on my side, facing Sehun. Smiling, Sehun tucked my hair behind my ears. Caressing my cheeks, Sehun then gave me a peck on the lips.

"You can't sleep?" Sehun asked softly. Creasing a smile, I shook my head. 

"But do you feel better?" Sehun my hair. I nodded. Placing my arm around his waist, I moved closer and rested my head on his wide chest.

"Oppa" I looked up at him. I gazed deeply into his eyes before I continued.

"Oppa, we had a kid together, right? It makes sense since we're married for almost three years" I asked. I caught Sehun swallowing hard. Immediately, he looked away, avoiding my gaze.

"Oppa, I'm not trying to remember my past. But just let me know if we really had a kid before. At least I know why I would burst into tears whenever I saw children. At least, I did not feel frustrated for crying for no reason" I paused to discern Sehun's expression but Sehun just remained silence. Sighing, I continued.

"Don't you think I have the right to know as a mother? Even though I can't remember, even though I maybe would never remember, at least, I need to know that he had been a part of my life. I gave birth to him after all. Where is he now? Or is it she?" I asked hesitantly. 

"Did she--"

"Yes, she passed away. Her name is Sera. Oh Sera" Sehun finally relented. So I was indeed right about having a child but I guessed I could not see my daughter anymore. That fact, unwittingly tightened my chest.

"Why?" I murmured. Sehun took a lungful of air before answering my question.

"She--she was sick" Sehun's eyes glistened with tears. He must be missing our daughter a lot. Even without memories of her, I already felt the longing. I could not imagine Sehun who remembered every single memory of Sera. It must be very hard on him.

"Oppa..." I wiped the tears that slowly rolling down his cheeks.

"Sorry I keep it from you. I did this for your sake. You believe in me right? It's enough for you to know we had a daughter before. So please Yoora, don't ask me more, uhm?" Sehun pulled me closer and planted a kiss on my forehead. 

That night, my mind kept repeating my daughter's name.

Sera..

Oh Sera..

Can I see you? Even for once?

I love their daughter's name! Oh Sera. When I first picked a name for their daughter, I swear I just picked randomly without putting any thoughts. I just thought that, okay that name is pretty. But after writing that name several times, I came into a realization that Sera was indeed a suitable name for Sehun and Yoora's daughter! Se for Sehun and Ra for Yoora. Sera, a combination from Sehun and Yoora. LOL I just found it fascinating XD But too bad, she didn't have so much time...sob sob (why am I being sad over my own story?) Anyway, thank you for reading and subscribing! More painful memories to come! Wow I'm so mean