I stared at the message I just received. It was from Jongin. After we met at the wedding, we exchanged phone numbers and since then, we kept in touch. I came to know he was one of the board directors at Sekai Hospital. Jongin studied in America and worked as a doctor there for almost 4 years before coming back to Korea.

Jongin was suggesting we had a dinner together. I should be happy because my feelings was not a one sided love since Jongin showed his interest in me. But something was holding me back. I liked Jongin. And I was happy when I was with him. I wanted to be with him all the time but I felt this was wrong and I could not decipher why.

"CEO Kang. Here is your tea" Sehun came in, serving my brunch. Unlocking his ipad, Sehun began to brief my schedule.

"Today you have a meeting with the planning team. Right after that, you have a lunch with the shareholders. Since you're bored with Japanese food, I scheduled the lunch at a Chinese restaurant. Then at 4pm you have--"

"Oppa. I think I'm crazy" I interjected. 

"CEO Kang, we're at the company so I would appreciate it if you call--"

"Oppa, I like Jongin" I told Sehun. That silenced him.

"I like him. So much. And I'm happy that he likes me too. But--" I paused. I averted my gaze to Sehun before continuing.

"I feel weird. Or is it because this is the first time I really like someone so I'm not used to the feelings?" Sehun remained silence, keeping his stoic expression. I heaved a deep sigh.

"Oppa, is this how it feels when you really like someone?" I asked but only to meet with a silent. I waited for an answer but Sehun just stood there as if he was at lost of words. I shook my head.

"Nah, it's fine oppa. No need to answer me. You never date anyone anyway. Why should I ask you. Thanks for the tea. And tonight I'm having dinner with Jongin. So you can go back first" I gave up. Harshly, I took a sip of the tea, forgetting the fact that the tea was damn hot!

"Hot!" To make thing even worse, I spilled the tea right on my shirt which left not just stain but also the hotness!

"Yoora-ya!" Sehun rushed towards me. Pulling out the tissues on my tea table, Sehun quickly rubbed away the stain on my shirt to reduce the temperature. 

I lifted my head up just to see Sehun was very close to me. Unwittingly, a lump formed in my throat, blocking my airway. Again, I found myself breathless. I was just, frozed. I stared at Sehun as he fixed my shirt, wiped the corner of my lips before he locked our eyes together. However, it did not last long as Sehun broke our gaze. He got up on his feet and cleared his throat.

"CEO Kang, I'll find you a new shirt. You can't go around with that mess. I'll be back later" Sehun bowed before making his leave. My eyes followed him until he disappeared from my sight.

Oh Sehun. What is exactly in your mind?

...

Jongin looked as charming as ever. He gelled his hair up, revealing his wide forehead, radiating this manly vibe. I could not help but to stare at him. The way he smiled, talked, they were just too good to be true. It was like he was not a human. I guessed God spent so much time creating him.

"You look beautiful tonight Yoora-ssi" Jongin's sudden compliment made me blushed.

"Do you know, when we first met, I thought you're a goddess or something. I was like, how can someone be this beautiful?" Okay, I did not need a mirror to know that my cheeks had turned colour to red.

"You're exaggerating" I let out a chuckle.

"No I'm not! Actually I'm surprised to know that a beauty like you are still single" Jongin's remark got me laughing. This man really know how to steal a woman's heart, isn't he?

"You are single yourself. Isn't handsome man like you can easily captured any woman?" My lips contorted to a smirk.

"I'm just too busy in the surgery room" 

"And I'm just too busy meeting people here and there" Both of us laughed to our pathetic, hectic life. Slowly, his laugh subsided. His eyes then stared into mine. A smile them crept to his chiseled face. Again, my heart was behaving abnormally. 

"Yoora-ssi. When you left that day, I really wish that I can meet you again. And when I got to meet you at Jaehyun's wedding, I think God is telling me something" Jongin uttered.

"Date me. If you are tired of me, tell me right away. I'll stop. Because I don't want to force you to like me"

...

After we had our dinner, we walked around Myeondong. The night there was never disappointing yet the best! With all the lights, the street buskers, it was just a perfect place to date. I stared at my hand that was locked in Jongin's. Slowly, a smile made its way to my face. This man is really mine huh?

Then I looked up at Jongin beside me. His eyes, his jawline, his y bronze skin, all are more than enough to make a woman fell all over for him and I guessed I was not an exception. Jongin turned his head around, catching me red-handed. He smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek, putting me in bafflement.

"That's a punishment for staring at me" Jongin chuckled.

"What??" I scoffed, pretending to be annoyed.

"Do you hate it? Then, how about this?" Jongin planted a kiss on my forehead.

"Jongin-ssi!" I rounded my eyes at him. My face felt so warm even though wind was blowing, making the air cooler. Jongin giggled.

"Alright. Alright. Let's go. My shift will start in 30 minutes" I nodded. Jongin interlaced our fingers together before we made our way to the car. I flashed him a smile as I followed his steps. I could not believe it took me 29 years to experience love.

But, why do I feel I did something really wrong?

...

I found myself in that strange weird white place again. As usual, I could hear the piano being played and the same melody was filling the air. I walked on the endless path as I immersed myself in the song. Surprisingly, my eyes caught a figure and a piano.

Curious, I paced closer and I found a little girl aged about 5 years old, playing the piano. Mustering my courage, I tapped her shoulder lightly. The girl stopped playing. Slowly, she turned her body around, allowing me to see her face. I rounded my eyes in surprise. This girl looked just like me when I was around her age! 

"You found me" she flashed me a smile. 

That was the last thing I remembered before I woke up. I ran my fingers through my hair before glancing at my electronic clock. It was only 1 in the morning. I should go back to sleep but my body refused to listen. Thus, I made my way to the kitchen and had a glass of water instead.

"You're still awake?" A familiar voice hit my eardrum. I turned around to find Sehun was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"I just woke up" I gulped another glass of water. Sehun sighed. Pacing closer, Sehun grabbed a clean mug behind me.

"Sit. I'll make you a hot chocolate to help you sleep" Sehun muttered without looking at me, focusing on the cocoa powder in front of him. I hummed and took a seat. In less than a minute, chocolate smell wafted in the air. 

"Here" Sehun handed me the drink.

"Thanks" I took a sip. Closing my eyes, I devoured the taste. As expected, Sehun's homemade chocolate drink was always the best. The sweetness, the creaminess, they were all blended nicely. I opened my eyes to find Sehun was staring at me.

"Why? Is there something on my face?" I asked. Sehun let out a chuckle.

"No. Just" Smiling, Sehun shook his head. That somehow flustered me, causing me to swallow hard. I cleared my throat to reduce the awkwardness. This kind of awkwardness happened a little bit too much lately.

"How about you? Why are you still awake?" I quickly changed the topic.

"I have to look at a few reports" Sehun replied, still having his eyes on me. I nodded. Okay, the awkwardness was progressing faster than I thought. Oppa, can you just go and sleep?!

"Did you have that dream again?" Sehun asked with his gentle voice which somehow triggered something inside me. Another dejavu flashed in front of me. 

"Did she wake you up?"

I saw Sehun asking me but completely in different situation. I shook my head, trying to distinguish reality and dream. I blinked a few times to make sure I was not seeing things anymore. To be honest, this dejavu things came a lot these days. It was so vivid to the point I thought it was real! But they did not make sense at all because I could not remember going through any of those.

"You don't?" Sehun's voice snapped me back to earth.

"Ah no--I mean yes" I heaved in a deep breath before resuming.

"But this time, I met a girl" I said. Sehun's forehead creased a frown.

"I think she's about 5 years old? And surprisingly, she looked just like me when I was in her age! She was the one who played the piano. When I approached her, she said 'you found me' and then I woke up" I sighed. 

"Oppa, do you think that girl has something to do with that accident I didn't remember?" I continued.

"Yoora-ya, how many times I've told you, don't waste your time trying to remember the past you didn't want to remember?" Sehun ran his fingers through his hair. A sigh left his lips. Sehun got up and went to the sink, facing his back to me.

Guilt suddenly struck me, seeing Sehun looked so uncomfortable talking about the accident. When I was discharged from the hospital, Sehun was nowhere to be found. My parents told me, he took a leave for a while because of the guilt for not be able to protect me from the accident. I tried to contact him, but Sehun never received my calls or replying any of my text. 

I guessed he really needed time for himself so I stopped contacting him after a week. To be frank, I hardly survived without Sehun. So when he returned home 3 months later, I was more than grateful. It was still vivid in my mind how his eyes were filled with sadness when I first greeted him in front of the door. It was as if he was in a lot of pain in those 3 months he left me. I never knew my accident would put him in so much trouble.

Feeling terrible, I got up slowly and paced closer to Sehun. Hesitantly, I raised my arms and placed them around Sehun's waist. Leaning my body against his back, I embraced him tight. Sehun's cologne wafted into my nostril. I rarely hugged Sehun or did any skinship with him before but somehow I missed doing this. I was not even sure what I was feeling.

"Yoo--Yoora-ya, what are you doing?" Sehun stuttered in surprise.

"I'm sorry for bringing the topic up. I know you're not comfortable with it. And--I'm sorry for always making you worried" I murmured. 

"Yoora, you know you cannot do this, right?" Sehun brought my arms down and released himself from my embrace. Turning around, Sehun faced me. He gazed into my eyes for a while before ruffling his hair harsh as if he was in so much trouble. 

"Why is this so hard?" I heard him muttered under his breath. He took a lungful of air before holding me on my shoulder. Baffled, I blinked a few times.

"Yoora..I'm having a very hard time to refrain myself so can you please go back to your room and sleep?" Sehun pleaded. His face was so tight that I did not even dare to ask why. I gave him a nod and turned around, making my way back to my room.

Sehun oppa, are you really fine?

...

Jongin and I got closer faster than I thought. Even though we did not meet each other everyday but we always kept in touch. Jongin would give me a short morning call when I woke up and a sweet good night call before I went to sleep.

I knew Jongin's schedule better than mine. I knew how many surgery he needed to perform, when was his shift ended, how many patients he needed to deal with. I had Sehun to arrange my schedule anyway so I did not need to remember mine which made me remembered Jongin's very well.

Not just that, I also became very familiar with medical science term which I loathed the most back when I was in highschool. It was not that hard to memorize as it was back then because Jongin kept repeating the same term when he told me about his day. I guessed I could be a doctor any time soon.

I kept my relationship a secret from my parents. When I was really sure about Jongin, I would introduce him not just as a boyfriend but also my husband-to-be. I did not want my parents thought I was just playing around. I almost 29 though. I was taking this relationship serious and as much as I was, I was sure Jongin thought the same too.

The only one who knew about us was no other than my secretary. Sehun did not say much about it. When I told him about Jongin, he just nodded. He did not say a word whether he supported me or opposed my relationship but I took it as a support since he remained silence.

About the weird feelings I had when I dated Jongin, I chose to not dwell on it too much. I deemed it was because I never be in a relationship before so I guessed my inner-self was adjusting with the sudden change. I was sure things would get better as time went by. 

"Is Dr Kim here?" I asked the nurse. Yesterday Jongin was very busy we barely talked with each other. Knowing him, I was very sure he did not take his meal well. That was why he knocked out the first time I met him. I smiled to the memory.

"Ah his surgery was not yet done. But may I know who are you?" I scratched the back of my head to the question, pondering what should I give as an answer.

"Are you his girlfriend?" The nurse chuckled. I nodded awkwardly.

"Wow Dr Kim has such a beautiful girl! You can wait for him inside" I blushed at the remark and gave the nurse a nod before making my way into Jongin's office.

As I waited for him, my eyes wandered around. His office was neat and cozy. There was a couch placed beside the window with cute teddies arranged neatly which I found very adorable. A man with teddies? I chuckled. I was very sure he slept on that couch a lot. 

My eyes then halted to a cabinet beside his working area. All the trophies and certificates with Jongin's name on it were placed in it. I smiled proudly to his achievements as a doctor. My eyes caught a picture of his graduation day. As expected, he was as handsome as ever. I was too into the picture when I felt arms around my waist.

"I miss you" my smell sensory immediately detected Jongin's cologne which mixed with antiseptics which I never thought would captivate me so much . He rested his chin on my shoulder as he pulled me tighter. 

"You smell like blood" I joked.

"Liar" a chuckle escaped Jongin's lips. Jongin let me go and turned me around to have a look at me. Here came his seducing gaze again. Jongin paced closer, pushing me to the corner. Before I knew it, Jongin placed his lips against mine. Closing my eyes, I kissed him back. 

As Jongin pulled away, my eyelids fluttered open. Another dejavu flashed in front of me. Again, I saw Sehun. He gave me a kiss on the lips before smiling so endearingly. I blinked a few times before Jongin came into my sight again. I let out a sigh of relief.

"What's wrong?" Jongin asked.

"Are you that surprised that I kiss you?" Jongin chortled. Snorting, I hit him playfully on his arm.

"You didn't eat yet right?" I took out the food I packed for Jongin and arranged it on the table in the middle of his office. Jongin came to me with his eyes did not even blink for a second.

"Are we having guests?" Jongin asked when he looked at the amount of food I brought for him. I giggled.

"No. You said you had many surgery yesterday and you didn't even go home yet. So I'm sure you only ate kimbap. I saw the plastics in the bin" Jongin cracked a guilty smile, showing his arranged teeth. I pulled him to sit beside me. Handing him a pair of chopstick, I beckoned him to eat.

"Aww thank you my baby" Jongin gave me a peck on the cheek before digging in. I was glad I brought a lot of food because I could see that he was very hungry. As I watched him eat, my mind was occupied with the dejavu I had earlier.

Why did it feel so real as if it really happened before?

...

Closing the door behind me quietly, I walked on my toe into the house. I spent some times walking with Jongin after dinner so I came home a little bit too late than usual. Very late actually. It was almost 11 at night but I found that the living room was still bright. 

I paced closer to see Sehun was sleeping on the couch. Papers were strewn all over the table and Sehun still had a a pen in his hand. Shaking my head, I sat on my knees and carefully took the pen from him. I let out a sigh as I stared at Sehun.

The corner of my lips turned upward as I watched him sleep. Sehun slept soundly like a baby which made him looked so adorable. Another sigh escaped my lips as the memory of that night flushed into my mind. His words still rang loudly at the back of my head.

"Yoora..I'm having a very hard time to refrain myself so can you please go back to your room and sleep?"

After that night, Sehun never brought the topic out as if nothing happened. Despite the curiousity inside me, I just let it slipped. I should at least respect him for that I always hurt him. I was about to leave when another strange image appeared before my eyes, surprising me to the point I almost screamed.

My chest went up and down as I tried to catch my breath. What kind of dejavu was that? Seeing Sehun half-, lying beside me, was not that a little bit too much? To be honest, this dejavu thing happened too often lately. It was so frustrating!

The weird thing was that, it happened mostly when I was with Jongin. No matter where I went for a date, I would see an image of Sehun but I just kept it myself. I thought this would not a huge issue but now that they kept coming made me curious. Just why on earth I kept having these unfamiliar situations flooded into my mind?! Why did I dream about Sehun so much? 

Wait, was that even a dream or I really did all those with Sehun? But that was just impossible! Just when on earth I did all those with Sehun?! Or, did I confuse him with someone else? I shook my head frantically. These things were making me crazy. I was getting up on my feet when a hand grabbed me by my wrist, pulling me down.

"Don't go" Sehun murmured in his sleep. Is he sleep talking right now?

"Just stay, please" I let out a sigh and sat back on my knees. I tried to remove my wrist from his grip but it was so tight. Having no choice, I patted Sehun lightly on his arm, putting him back to sleep. Just what is he dreaming of? 

"I miss you, Kang Yoora"

That got me speechless.
 

So can you guys guess? LOL anyway thank you for reading! Do leave some comments XOXO