It had been a week since I last talked to Sehun. And I was really thankful for that Sehun kept his distance. I guessed he desperately wanted me to get rid of this stupid feelings I had for him. He only talked to me regarding business matters. He did not serve me brunch as he used to and he did not ask me about my meal. We even had our lunch separately.

At home, I tried my very best to avoid bumping into him. Whenever Sehun was outside of his room, I would lock myself inside. The only time I saw him was when we took our dinner or breakfast. My parents noticed the tension between us but they did not say anything about it. So I guessed this was the beginning of the war. Who knows 12 years of friendship would be destroyed by love?

But I never said it was easy for me. It was beyond difficult. The more I tried to push him away, the greater the desire I had for him to the point it really hurt. I never knew I would fall for Sehun this hard. I did not even realize the love I had for him had grown this much. Almost every night, I would cry for him. 

It was a lie if I said I did not miss him. I longed for him. I missed him smiling at me, I missed him talking to me, I missed him babbling about how messy I was, I missed him calling my name, I just missed Sehun. Imagine the man who had always been with you for 12 years suddenly became a stranger. It was really too much for my heart to take. But I did not have any choice. Because I was afraid I would fall for him even more if I did not keep my distance.

Don't like me. You can't like me

His words rang like a bell inside my head. Those words really like thorns piercing my heart every day. But I admitted he was saying the right thing. I should not keep any feelings for him. I should not like someone who belonged to someone else. But why did he keep his marriage a secret? He could just tell me from the very beginning so that I would be cautious! Unwittingly, I put the blame on him.

Yes, I didn't do anything wrong. He gave me the hopes and he was the one who shattered those hopes in pieces.  He should know his place from the very beginning. He should know the boundary. It was all his fault.

He should not make me fall for him..

...

A familiar melody hit my eardrum, waking me up. The sight of that little girl came first into my view. So this dream again, I guessed. The little girl smiled at me but somehow her smile seemed weak. Her eyes filled with sorrow instead of delight she always had with her. I budged closer to her and embraced her in my arms.

"Hey kid, are you okay?" I asked, worried of her. Somehow I hated to see that forlorn expression on her face. It hurt me. The girl stood up and pulled me with her.

"Where are we going?" I followed behind her trail to an unknown destination. Her tiny hand gripped my index finger tight as if she did not want to let go.

I remained silence as the little girl led me. Not long after, a huge mansion came into my view. Surprised, my steps halted. I did not know this mansion ever existed in my dreams before. The little girl stopped and turned around to look at me. She beckoned me to step in. Hesitant, I still had my feet glued on the ground. Giving me a reassuring smile, the girl gave me a nod.

Swallowing hard, my eyes roamed around the mansion in front of me. Taking a lungful of air, I mustered my courage to enter. As soon as I stepped inside, I heard indistinct voices. The little girl however pulled me even closer to the source of the voices as if she did not afraid of anything.

"Kid, what are you doing?? You can't just enter someone--" I came into a pause. I blinked my eyes a few times to the incredulous sight in front of me.

I saw myself. And I was not alone. I saw Sehun and I was in his embrace. Sehun hugged me from the back and we looked happy. Like very happy. As if the world was ours. I heard us chuckling as we were being playful to each other. Sehun then lifted me up and carrying me around the house. I heard my laughter filled the air.

"Why are you showing me this.." I murmured as tears started to form at the corner of my eyes. I looked around to see that the little girl was not there anymore. The sight of Sehun and I slowly faded away, leaving me in that white place again. I fell on my knees as tears trickled down my cheeks.

Why does this hurt so much..

"Yoora-ssi, wake up" I heard a familiar voice. Slowly, my eyes fluttered open. Jongin came into my view.

"Jongin-ssi.." My eyes roamed around to find myself in an unfamilar room.

"You're crying" Jongin muttered. I touched my cheeks to find it wet. Instantly, I wiped my tears.

"You were mumbling in your sleep like you were having nightmare so I woke you up" Jongin said.

"Where am I?" My eyes wandered around to recognize the place.

"My apartment" Jongin handed me a glass of water. I took it and had a sip. My gaze shifted at Jongin. It had been a long time since I met him and somehow it felt a little bit awkward.

"How did I end up here?" I asked.

"You couldn't remember? You were so drunk last night. Luckily I met you. I wanted to bring you home but you insisted to bring you somewhere else. You said you don't want to go home" Jongin's explanation reminded me of what happened. Okay, I did remember being so drunk and then I saw Jongin. After that, my memory was blurred.

"So I brought you here" Jongin continued. I let out a sigh as I threw my gaze outside.

"Your secretary called you several times" Jongin said. I remained silence as if I did not care.

"I told him you're with me" Jongin uttered out carefully as if he was afraid I was going to threw a fit.

"He's worried you know.." Okay, this one really riled me up. I turned my head towards Jongin.

"Bulls. As if he really cares for me" I glowered at Jongin, unwittingly released my anger at him.

"But he really did--"

"Shut up!" I yelled at Jongin, silencing him. My chest moved up and down as I tried to catch my breath, suppressing my anger. Taking a lungful of air, I calmed myself.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just--" my voice trailed off as tears started to roll down my cheeks. Jongin gave me his handkerchief to wipe my tears. He remained silence as he watched me cried my eyes out. 

"Would you like to have some hot drink?" Jongin offered when I had settled down with my cry. Slowly, I gave him a nod. 

...

"What happened?" Jongin placed a chocolate drink in front of me. I took a sip and set my gaze on the dining table instead of looking at Jongin. Somehow I felt embarrassed for leaving Jongin for a man who was already taken.

"Is it because of Secretary Oh? Did he tell you anything?" Jongin asked cautiously.

"He belongs to someone else" I murmured.

"What? Did he tell you that?" Jongin asked as if he could not believe my words. Taking a lungful of air, I told Jongin from the very beginning. From how I heard him talking on the phone to the night where he said I could not like him.

"Are you sure that woman is his wife?" Jongin quirked a brow.

"If she is not his wife, then who is she? His affair?" I sputtered. Jongin took a lungful of air.

"Yoora-ssi. I don't have any intention to meddle with your relationship with Sehun but let me advice you something. Talk to Sehun properly. Listen to him. Ask him directly instead of assuming things" Jongin said gently.

"I don't know who is that woman but I'm sure she's not his wife nor his girlfriend, far away to be his affair" Jongin gave me a reassuring look. 

"How can you be so sure.." I murmured.

"I--I just know it" Jongin stammered as if he was hiding something from me. 

"Just talk to Sehun, okay?" Jongin quickly changed the topic. I remained silence as I threw my gaze outside the window. 

For the umpteenth time, I let out a sigh.

...

I stayed at Jongin's apartment for a while until Jongin had to go for his usual night shift. Before he went to the hospital, Jongin dropped me by my house. He gave me a reassuring look before speeding off to his workplace. My eyes followed him until his car disappeared from my view.

With heavy steps, I walked inside. I did not know since when my house did not feel like home anymore. Everything just reminded me of Sehun. Taking a lungful of air, I made my way in. Deep inside my heart, I really hope I did not bump into Sehun. I hope he was inside his room so that I did not need to face him.

My steps were halted when I heard a familiar melody filled the air. I rounded my eyes in surprise. This melody, was the one that was played in my dreams. The one that the little girl always played on her piano. Am I dreaming right now? I doubted this was a dream because this was my own house instead of that white place. 

Failed to refrain my curiousity, my feet brought me closer to the room where the piano was kept. My eyes then caught something that was dropped on the floor in front of the room. My eyes widened in an utter suprised. It was a photo. A photo of me and Sehun, dated three years ago. Me in Sehun's embrace, looking at each other with love.

My hand trembled as fear crept into my mind. This photo, I could not recall any memories of it. I did not remember taking this photo with Sehun. It was as if that memory was erased completely from my mind. Gulping nervously, I pushed the door opened, revealing Sehun who was playing the piano. Upon seeing me, Sehun stopped playing immediately.

"Yoo--yoora, what are you doing here?" Sehun stammered out.

"How--how did you know that song..." Tears started to form at the corner of my eyes. Sehun's eyes then caught the photo in my hand.

"Is this yours?" I asked weakly.

"Yoo--yoora. I--"

"Answer me!!!" I shouted. Tears trickled down my face. I was too baffled with everything that I could not think properly.

"That song. This photo. What are you trying to pull off?! What's exactly happening right now?! Are you trying to play a prank on me?! Do you think I'm a joke?! I--" Sehun rushed towards me and immediately pulled me into his embrace. 

"Don't touch me okay?! Just answer me!" I shoved Sehun away.

"Hey, what's wrong?!" My parents showed up when they heard the noise. I flitted my gaze on my parents. I shoved the photo to them. As much as me, they looked surprise as well.

"Mind telling me what's this?" My voice quavered.

"Yoora, that's--" my mom's paused as if she was hesitated. I saw my dad squeezed my mom's hand as if he tried to stop my mom. I snorted.

"So you know about this. Woah. So I'm the stupid one here? Do you think this is a joke?" I scoffed in disbelief.

"Honey, it's not like that. Actually--"

"Mom. No--" I heard Sehun whispered under his breath. I shifted my gaze at Sehun who was looking very pale for that his 'prank' was caught.

"Mom?" I rolled my eyes at Sehun. Sehun cleared his throat, scared of me.

"Is she your mom? Since when she is your mom?! You--"

"Sehun is your husband, okay?! Satisfied now?!" My mom raised a tone.

"Honey!"

"Mom!" 

Silence swallowed us all. I stared blankly at my parents and Sehun as my mind was trying to decipher my mom's words. My reasonable mind was trying to decide whether the fact I had just garnered really made sense or the otherwise. I flitted my gaze alternately from my parents to Sehun. They were all had a sorry look put on their faces.

"But--but that's impossible. I never get married to anyone. I--I can't remember having a--a wedding. And, I--I saw Sehun with another woman. He's married to someone else. I saw him holding hand with her. I--I heard the kids were calling him dad. So ho--how can I be his wi--wife?" I stuttered.

"Sehun with a woman?" My parents creased a frown. They averted their gaze to Sehun, asking for an explanation. Sehun took a lungful of air.

"Yoora-ya, that's my younger sister. Those kids are my niece and nephew" Sehun paused for a while, letting out a sigh. 

"Liar! You don't have siblings! You--came here as an orphan with no siblings and parents! Don't try to--" Sehun held me by my shoulder, halting me. His soft gaze looked into mine.

"That accident, that memory you lost, I'm in there" Sehun cupped my cheeks and planted a kiss on my lips, stunning me.

"I miss you, honey"

Okay okay there're many questions linger in your mind right? Don't worry. Let's dig into Sehun and Yoora's past slowly okay? This is just the beginning AHA! Anyway, thank you for reading and sucscribing! I really appeciate your interest in my story! XOXO 

P/s : I think me myself fall for Sehun more and more as I write this story LOL sehun is slowly rising in my bias chart LOL Baekhyun-ah, you're still on the top don't worry LOL (Ah, my ultimate bias is Baekhyun! I should make him as a cameo in this story ^.^ )