I have tried everything I could think of. I called Jeonghan a hundred times and have sent him a thousand texts but he refuses to speak with me. I had no guts to visit his place after what happened. Joshua, Seokmin, or anyone for that matter, were of no helped either as Jeonghan had warned them against me. The only interaction I had with Jeonghan after he left me in front of the café was a curt message from him a day after the incident.

Yoon Jeonghan: “I don’t want to make things awkward amongst our friends. Don’t try to contact them or me regarding the matter.”

That was a fortnight ago. Now, I am already in Daegu and though I am happy to meet my family after a long time, my mind always drifts back to Jeonghan. I quickly fall into a routine of texting Jeonghan every night before bed. And like every night, I never receive any reply. Jeonghan hadn’t even read a single message which honestly pained me more.

That was until a couple of nights before Christmas. Jeonghan and Joshua should be at a ski resort with their families to celebrate Christmas. I was supposed to be there with them for a couple of days before visiting my parents on Christmas Eve. Jeonghan’s parents are really cool and I was excited, if a little nervous, to meet them until it all fell flat.

That night I was in my room after dinner when I texted him, not really expecting a reply.

Me: I know I was wrong, but could you at least give me a chance to explain myself? I do miss you. I really do. Please at least reply to my texts.

Me: I hope you are doing alright. Take care. Good night.

After about ten minutes I get a couple of notifications but I didn’t really think much of it as I lay in my bed reading a book. When I do eventually check the notification, I sit up with a jolt as I read the messages.

Yoon Jeonghan: What happened has happened. I don’t feel a need for us of discuss the situation any longer than necessary. Maybe I am equally at fault as you are for how the things fell apart or maybe not.

Yoon Jeonghan: But either way, we can’t go back to how the things were and I think this was evident from the very first time we confessed to the each other.

Yoon Jeonghan: I took some time to think over it and I think moving on with our lives would be for the best. We are still going to see each other at university or while we hang out with others but let’s not make those interactions awkward.

Yoon Jeonghan: Let’s just stick to being acquaintances before we can be friends again.

I sit there in shock, tears streaming down my face. I barely register the soft knocks on my door but before I could react, my brother walks in.

“Cheol, are you already- What happened?! Are you okay?” my brother asks as he rushes in and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

I just shake my head, losing ability to form coherent sentences.

“Do you need something? Should I call mum?”

“No- No, don’t.” I manage to say between sobs.

He keeps rubbing circles into my back to help me calm down and eventually I do. He hands me a bottle of water from the bed-side table and takes a sit in front of me. I can feel him giving me a concerned look as I down half of the bottle before I continue to look down on my bed sheet.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah.