It feels like the after after party at Mingyu’s was months ago. So much has happened in such a short time that it’s hard to make sense of everything.

Soon after our short break we were back at university and the lectures and the coursework suddenly seemed a lot harder than what they were last semester. Both Jeonghan and Joshua opted out of political science to focus on their respective majors which means we can only meet each other during the lunch hour. I have also been selected for an internship off campus and soon I won’t be able to meet the guys even during the lunch.

I still haven’t asked Jeonghan out even though the confession was weeks ago, mainly because we barely meet and I want to ask him in person and not over text (I am old school) and also because I am confused and scared but mainly confused.

Everyone I know from the university is very supportive. Especially our gang. Joshua had already updated the group on my and Jeonghan’s situation and since then all of them have been nothing but understanding (if not a little annoying). But it’s not easy to come in terms with your uality overnight.

I had never given a second though about my uality. That was until I started noticing Jeonghan after that party at Joshua’s place from almost a year ago. And suddenly I find myself… day dreaming about touching Jeonghan’s hair and then it’s his face… and his nose and his lips… You get my point!

Though I don’t feel uncomfortable knowing that I am attracted to a guy, but suddenly discovering… suddenly realizing that I didn’t know a major part of my being is a little unnerving when you think about. And also… the Labels. The whole idea of coming-out is a little intimidating if I am being honest.

Am I gay? No, I have dated two girls before and I haven’t had any problem with that.

Biual, then? Huh.. I guess? But it’s not like I find any other guy attractive. Not the way I find Jeonghan attractive. (very attractive)

Demiual? I guess it is likely. Seeing that I don’t get attracted to people easily… I guess?

Labels are frustrating and recently it dawned on me that I shouldn’t bother with labels. I could just be till I decide what I am comfortable with.

Besides this inner turmoil, there is a social turmoil. I am blessed with amazing friends and family a