HOSPITAL AU

• “If you put that needle in my arm, you’ll be losing much more than your medical license, my friend” AU
• “I’m not leaving this waiting room until I know EXACTLY where you purchased that piece of art hanging on the wall - it calms my partner” AU
• “I am a surgeon, but I cannot perform under these conditions - not with who’s on the table right now” AU
• “I didn’t know I was allergic to coconut oil until I went to this one strip club and now look at me - in the emergency room of a hospital on the night of my bachelor/bachelorette party” AU 
• “I don’t care if it was an emergency - you cannot park your car in the tow away zone, regardless of any heart attack that may or may not occur. Oh, your uh, spouse is in labor? Still can’t park here, sorry” AU 
• “You may think that my piercings and tattoos would interfere with my medical career, but you’d be surprised by my capabilities” AU 
• “So, you’re saying that mismatched socks are against hospital dress code? Is this a dictatorship or something???” AU
• “I keep falling asleep between operations because I’m binge watching House - it’s purely for educational purposes” AU
• “I’ve cut my hair short for hygienic purposes but now all the elderly patients are asking me if I’m going through a phase or if I’m gay” AU
• “Working in the experimental area of the hospital has its merits - but then again, I’m fairly certain that other departments don’t have random outbreaks of deadly diseases or go into lockdown periodically. Honestly, you don’t know how many book club meetings I’ve had to do over Skype because someone opened a tube of small pox again” AU