A/N: Annyeong yeoribun! Missed me? I hope you still remember me! Sorry for the unexpected hiatus, I was sooooo busy at work. Lols.Excuses. HAHA^^ Anyway, here’s a double update for you guys, chapter 37 and 38. It was supposed to be a single chapter but it was way TOO LONG, about 7000words, so I split it into two chapters. (ITALICS – thoughts) I hope you guys won’t be lost on track, so here’s a quick recap:

Sooyoung decided to end ties with Tiffany, once and for all. But it turned out to be the other way. During their meeting, Tiffany told Sooyoung the reason why she rejected her proposal, and that serves as a ground-shaker for Sooyoung. She realized that she still loves Tiffany and decided to start all over again, though Tiffany requested that they should remain as friends as long as Sooyoung settled her issues with Jessica. What surprised Sooyoung is that when she came home, Jessica appeared. She was caught-off guard with the situation so she said it straight to Jessica. Sooyoung confessed to Jessica that she still loves Tiffany, and that triggered a long quarrel between them. It was so rough for both of them, which even caused Jessica to lose her sanity for a moment by trying to kill herself.

SOOYOUNG’s POV

I lay down on her bed and tried to forget everything, even just for a while, by sleeping. I rolled back and forth, covered my head with a pillow, curled up my body, but still, Mr. Sleep can’t seem to visit me. Because of that, I jolted up from bed and ruffled my hair. Uggh! This is frustrating me so much!

“Jessica, don’t go.  If you don’t want me here, then I’ll leave.”

“You don’t have to because you already left me.”

The last moment I saw Jessica in the elevator kept repeating on my mind. Her eyes were filled with sorrow, anger, and hatred, not to mention its redness and puffiness. I know she’s been hating me so much, which I truly deserve. Who in the Earth would not be angry with me with what I’ve done?

My conscience is not helping me at all, so I grabbed my phone and punched in Jessica’s number. With every ring heard, my heart beats triple time. I don’t know but I’m really worried for her right now. Then it scared me when the ring has ended and a teller answered saying that the line cannot be reached. There must’ve been something wrong.

Without further ado, I ran put of my place and find my way to Jessica’s apartment. It was quiet when I arrived there so I thought she’s already sleeping right now. But something’s weird. I knocked on the door, no one’s responding. I tried to knock harder but the door opened by itself. It wasn’t locked.

I entered her apartment in which mess was sprawled all over the floor. I was even about to step on a piece of broken vase since the lights were off. I turned it on to get a better view of the place. I looked around only to see the thing that scared me the most. A sudden gush of cold wind suddenly came upon my body. I saw Jessica leaning on the floor, her eyes closed, and…her wrist… it was bleeding.

“Jessica!”

I rushed and kneeled in front of her. I was staggered with the blood beside her wrist. She must have lost a lot of blood, but I know it’s not too late. It’s still fresh based from the stains on her wrist. Being panicky and all, I took of my cardigan and tear it apart so I can wrapped it on her wrist to stop it from bleeding. Afterwards, I held her shoulders and shook it, hoping that she would gain consciousness.

“Sica, wake up! Sica!!”  I cupped her cheeks and tapped it. But still she’s not responding. I am panicking right now. My hands were trembling and my chest was tightening. And I never noticed that my tears were already falling.

“Sica, why? Please Sica, wake up!”

I shook her again, but it’s no use. I checked her pulse and fortunately, she’s still have one. But, it’s getting weaker…and weaker. That alarmed me so I carried her and went to my car. I don’t care if I was only wearing a sleeveless shirt with blood stains on my body but what is important is to bring Jessica in the hospital.

I zoomed out and didn’t matter if what lane I’m driving into. I pressed my horn all the way, just like an ambulance making its noise towards the hospital. I can’t keep calm right now because I’m not ready, I mean, no one’s ready, on the thought of losing her. I can’t lose her. And I won’t forgive myself if anything happens to her. It was my fault after all.

The next thing I knew is that we’re already in the hospital, with the nurses aiding us towards the E.R. I want to enter that room but some of them stopped me to do so. Thus, I remained outside the E.R., worried and distressed on what happened.

My hands were trembling while my mind was blurred out. I can’t keep calm so I walked back and forth in front of the door. I hope it’s not too late, I hope they’ll save Jessica. She can’t leave us, not now. I can’t lose her. I still love her and it’ll kill me if something happens to her. Please, save her.

I can’t handle this situation. I feel like my body is already giving up. I need someone to help me. Should I call Tiffany? No, no. I’m just gonna make her worried. Who else should I call? I have Jessica’s phone on me so I take a look at her phonebook and I saw someone who’ll be worried sick just like me if she knew this…

YURI’s POV

Ring…Ring…Ring…

Sh*t. Why the hell is my phone ringing? I ignored it for a while, and thought that it will soon stop because who the hell want to chat with me at 3pm in the morning?

It stopped.

So I was relieved. I was about to fall back into my slumber when it rang again. I tried to ignore it but it just didn’t stop from ringing. Being grouchy and all, I forced to get up with half-opened eyes, trying to search for my phone.

“Hello?”

“Y-Yuri…”

I frowned at it. I looked at my screen to see that it was Jessica’s number who’s calling me. And the one who’s talking to me is not Jessica. What the hell happened? From how the caller voice sounded, it seems like there’s something wrong.

“Yes. May I know who this is? How’d you get her phone? What happened to Jessica?”

“Yuri.. I-it’s S-Sooyoung.”

It’s Sooyoung? She’s panting and I guess she’s nervous right now. What the hell is happening?

“Sooyoung? Where’s Jessica? This is her phone right?”

“Jessica…she’s… we’re here in the hospital. I-I need your help…”

“What?!Hospital? What the in happened to her?” I was really in panic right now. My sleepiness was washed away right after hearing the word hospital.

“I’ll explain everything when you arrive here. B-but please Yuri, come here… I can’t h-handle this…”

“Okay. I’ll be quick.”

I grabbed my coat to cover my body because I don’t have any time to change my clothes, though a loose shirt and shorts wouldn’t be bad if you’ll try to look at it. I rushed out of our house and drive as fast as I could to the hospital.

Lots of thoughts are running on my mind. I don’t want to assume things but the longer I wait to arrive at the hospital, the more I worry about Jessica. How can this happen? I thought she’s in Pusan. Since when did she come here in Seoul? Why didn’t she call me? Aish! This is freaking me out.

And then a random thought came across my mind. Has this something to do with Sooyoung? Oh please don’t tell me Sooyoung’s involved here because I swear, I won’t forgive her if something bad happens to Jessica. Please tell me I’m wrong. I hope.

I arrived at the hospital and shot queries to the attendant. She brought me in front of the E.R. and asked me to wait for the doctor to come out. Then again, I’m…crestfallen. What I feel is unexplainable. It’s like my world has turned upside down. My blood is rushing through my veins and my heart is pumping double time. This isn’t good news. There’s must’ve been something wrong. Dammit.

I was walking towards the E.R. door when I saw someone pacing back and forth, who seems to be very worried. In this situation, that person is none other than Sooyoung.I don’t know why but everytime I see this girl, my blood is boiling. I really don’t like her. And this time, I have a hunch that she’s the one to blame.

I rushed towards her, probably because I’m also worried and alarmed with this matter regarding Jessica. I tried my best not to pounce on her or whatever. Instead, I forced myself to be calm as possible, not to mention my clenching fist.

“What happened?”

She stopped on her tracks and faces me. I can see the marks of tears that have dried up on her face.There were also blood stains on her clothes and arms, which made me worried even more. I somehow pity how she looks like right now, but still, it can’t convince me that I shouldn’t hate her.

“Yuri…”

“What happened to Jessica? Answer me!”

“ I…s-saw her… her wrist…she…s-he tried to….”

She’s stammering and can’t look straight on my eyes. I don’t get what she’s saying and I’m getting impatient so I grabbed her collar and pinned her on the wall.

“Yah, Choi Sooyoung. Just say it straight to the point. What the hell happened huh?!”

“Jessica… t-tried to kill herself.”

“What?!Why on Earth would she do that?!” I shouted on her and I was really pissed off right now. I can’t believe what my ears just heard. I was agitated with what she said. Jessica committed suicide. Why would she do that? She’s not the type of person that will do such reckless thing. Never. There must be something really awful that has happened. And that is the thing I want to know.

“I d-don’t know…“

“Are you kidding me?!! Why wouldn’t you know? It’s because of you right?! Don’t try to deny because I won’t buy it.”

“I really don’t know…  I went to her apartment and then I saw blood scattered on the floor beside her and…there was a scar on her wrist.”

“That’s it? I don’t believe you… Tell me, what happened before that? Did you meet beforehand?”

“Y-Yes... She went to my penthouse and then, we talked about…us.”

“And then? …don’t tell me…” I think I know now why she did this…

She avoided her gaze at me and kept her head down. Now, I figured out why this happened. And I’m right, it’s Sooyoung’s  fault.

“I-I’m sorry…”

“Y-you… you chose Tiffany?  You refused to p-patch things up with Jessica because of Tiffany?”

“S-Sorry…I’m so sor—“

“How dare you!”

I was really exasperated so I didn’t let her finish speaking and then I slammed her on the wall. She flinched but I didn’t mind it, instead, I tighten my grip on her collar and you can say that I’m already bursting with anger right now.

“How can you do this to her Sooyoung? She loves you so much! I trusted you that you won’t hurt her. And then this?Is that easy for you to play and then dump her?!!”

She’s not responding and still fixed her eyes downward so that irked me a lot. I was about to punch her when…

“Hey stop that! Yuri! Sooyoung!”

I turned around and saw Hyomin running towards us. She harshly pulled me away from Sooyoung then checked on her like she’s the most pathetic person in the world. Anyway, she’s her bestfriend after all so it’s natural if Hyomin will be in favor of Sooyoung.

AUTHOR’s POV

Hyomin arrived at the hospital and saw Yuri and Sooyoung having a heated argument. She rushed towards them to prevent further brawl between the two girls. Yuri was annoyed with this, knowing that Sooyoung doesn’t deserve to be pitied like this.

“Both of you, will you stop fighting with each other? It wouldn’t help Jessica’s condition.” Hyomin said.

“Tsk. If only you know what happened Hyomin, you’ll never be on Sooyoung’s side.” Yuri mocked.

“Yuri?! I’m not taking sides here. But on how you’re acting right now, you look so immature. So please, cut this crap.” Hyomin rolled her eyes and then turned her attention to Sooyoung who has been silent for a while.

“Sooyoung, look at me. What happened? Is Jessica alright?”

“She s-slashed her wrist…a-and then I saw her…already lying on the floor… I-I’m so sorry… It’s my fault. ” Sooyoung weakly said as her tears starts to roll down again.

“W-What? Why would she do that?”

“Because your dear friend just dumped Jessica for her Tiffany.” Yuri sarcastically said. Hyomin faced Yuri with her brows creased, and then looks back at Sooyoung.

“Soo…”

“I’m really sorry… It’s my fault… I’m so sorry…”

“Shussh… It’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself.” Hyomin hugged the crying Sooyoung and gently pat her back. She feels bad on Sooyoung’s situation, though now, she realized that Yuri has the right to react like that, especially when Jessica is the one aggravated.

Just then, the door opened with the nurses and doctor coming out from the room. Yuri was the one who approached the doctor and shot him with queries.

“Doctor, how’s the patient? Is she okay?”

“Are you Ms. Jung’s relative?”

“Yah! It doesn’t matter! I just wanna know if Jessica’s alright!” Yuri was agitated and grabbed the doctor’s collar. Hyomin, on the other hand, moved to Yuri’s side and tried to appease her. Sooyoung remained standing on her spot and just intently listening on them.

“Stop it Yuri. Please be calm, let the doctor speak in peace!”

“I’m sorry… But doctor, is she safe?”

“As of now, we managed to save the patient.” All of them released a deep sigh. They were glad to know that Jessica’s safe.

“But…” With that remark, Sooyoung frowned, and then again, the ruckus that has been rumbling on her chest resurfaced.

“But what?!” Yuri exclaimed.

“To tell you the truth ma’am, we had a hard time with her situation. We were struggling to revive her pulse since she lost a lot of blood. We opted to transfuse blood onto her to compensate the blood loss. However, it seems that the patient’s body isn’t responding well with the new blood on her system.”

“What do you mean?” Hyomin asked.

“Due to the infusion of a new blood, her system may acknowledge it as a foreign entity, thus, her body will resist recuperating. Complications may arise so we are still observing the patient for the next 24 hours.” The doctor explained.

“Are you saying to us that, anytime…J-Jessica may not get through it?” Yuri questioned with her brows creased.

“We’re still uncertain with that. For now, the best thing you can do is to wait and pray for her safety. Let’s hope for the best. We will give all that we can just to save the patient.”

“Oh… Thank you so much Doc.” Hyomin gave a light pat on the doctor and bowed to him.

After the doctor left, Yuri stood still on her spot, still digesting what the doctor has said; while Sooyoung was looking down. She was downhearted so much, and her guilt worsened knowing that Jessica’s life was still at risk.

Hyomin looked at both of the girls, Yuri in front, while Sooyoung behind her. And now, she’s somehow clueless on what she should do. Both Yuri and Sooyoung are in pain, but Sooyoung’s situation was even worse. She must’ve been very guilty and blaming herself for this.

“Guys, don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be fine. Let’s be positive, okay?” Hyomin cheered up.

“Hyomin, please get her out of here.” Yuri sternly said.

“H-huh? Yul, don’t be like that. Not now…” Hyomin pleaded but Yuri won’t budge. Actually, tears are building up on the corner of her eyes. Good thing her back was facing Hyomin.

“I don’t know if I can still control myself if I see her. Just…leave.”

“But Yuri—“

“It’s alright Hyomin, I’ll go.” Sooyoung turned and walked away dejectedly. Hyomin shook and her head and has no other option but to follow Sooyoung.

On the other hand, Yuri entered the ICU and saw Jessica lying on the bed. The view twisted her heart once again. With the tubes connected to Jessica, plus the bandage on her wrist, anyone who would see her in such state would be crestfallen.

Yuri sat beside her bed and caressed her cheek. She gazed at her, with thoughts on her mind that’s telling Jessica to wake up. She wants her to wake up and tell her what happened. She wants her to explain. Because if not, horrible thoughts will keep on bothering her.

“Jessica, why did you do this? Why?”

Yuri just stared at her and let the tears fall down. She grabbed Jessica’s free hand and left a gentle kiss on it. Yuri never noticed that her eyes are getting heavy until she fell down into deep slumber.

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“Sooyoung! Wait! Where are you going?!” Hyomin shouted as she follows Sooyoung from behind. Suddenly, Sooyoung stopped and sighed.

“I-I’m going home… I don’t have any reason to be here.”

“What are you saying? Jessica needs you! Would you just leave like this?”

Sooyoung then faced Hyomin with a blank face then smiled weakly. Hyomin was confused on her friend’s attitude.

“You’re wrong… She hates me. That’s why she tried to kill herself. It’s my fault that’s why I don’t deserve to see her.”

“Soo, that’s not true…”

“It is… I better leave now.” Sooyoung turned but Hyomin held her wrist.

“Wait, how about you? You’re not fine. C’mon, I’ll drive you home.”

“No… I’ll be fine. I just want to be alone.”

Hyomin slowly let go of Sooyoung’s and then the latter continues to walk away. Hyomin let her friend to be alone, knowing that Sooyoung badly needed it.

Sooyoung then reached her car and slumped on the driver’s seat. She leaned back and unconsciously, her tears fell down once again. She never thought that this would be the consequence on her decision. Now, she’s asking herself if she did the right thing. Is she regretting it right now?

Why is it hard to have your true happiness? Why does it have to be this complicated? Those are the questions that have been roaming on her mind. Just then, her phone vibrated so she peeked at it.

**1 new message**

fr: Miyoung

Sooyoung frowned upon seeing the sender’s name. She then opened her inbox and read the message.

FR: Miyoung

Sooyoungie, are you home already? I’m worried :3 I thought you’ll gonna call me when you got home? I’m waiting but I guess you fell asleep already don’t you? Kekekeke^^ Just give me a ring later when you woke up okay? Sweet dreams! :*

Sooyoung smiled at the message but at the same time, her heart feels like it twisted until it’s torn. She badly wanted to call the girl, or go to her place, hug her and seek for comfort, but she can’t. Why can’t fate be good to them? She just promised to Tiffany that she’ll fix everything and start all over again but then, it seems that she’ll gonna break that promise. How can she start anew with Tiffany if Jessica is suffering because of her? How can she be happy if Jessica’s life was still at risk?

She was so frustrated on where she’s got into. She chose this path so she must stand on her decisions. The damage has already been done and there’s nothing she can do about it. The only option left for her is to be held responsible on her decisions and stay strong through it – for herself, for Jessica, and for Tiffany.

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disappointed? hehe. i'm sorry for the lame update =P

next chapter, uploaded!!! :)))