Chapter 34 (2 of 3)

Euphoria (Don't You Remember)

 

A/N: hi guys, sorry for the super duper late update. i've been busy with my work. it’s tiring =( anyway, this chapter was supposed to be longer than this one, but i cut it into two since i haven't finished typing it yet. for the sake of updating... so there will be a CLIFFHANGER...AGAIN. bwajhahahaha. by the way, I would want to suggest songs for you to listen while reading this. Put these on shuffle and it’ll help you to internalize: Here you come again by Carly Smithson; If i can't have you, and Jakku jakku  (OST of Love rain). Okay, enjoy reading!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SOOYOUNG’s POV

 

With my flats carried by my hand, I walked along the shore and let the cold breeze brush against my skin. My body tingles whenever my barefoot touched the freezing water but I continued to walk on that path for I need something that will prevent me from being numb.

 

Yes. I felt numb the moment I stepped on this place. It’s been a long time since I’ve been here and going back at this place is simply nostalgic. This beach. This is the place where we start to build our dreams, our hopes, our future…together, hand in hand. We promised that we’ll fulfill our dreams without leaving each other’s side, to help and rely on one another in times of need. That no matter what happens, good or bad, we promised to understand and forgive ourselves.

 

 

 

---FLASHBACK---

 

“You’ll see, I will be the best singer here in Korea!” Taeyeon proudly said to us while we were sitting in a circle on the sand. Then Tiffany pries in and gives a stern look to Taeyeon.

 

“Wait Kim Taeyeon! Don’t forget that I’m still here! You have to beat me first before you can do that.”

 

“Beat you? I’ve already done that YEARS ago!” I and Tae laughed while Fany’s starts to get annoyed.

 

“Taeyeon ah! You’re so full of yourself!”

 

“As if you’re not. Just admit that I’m way better than you.”

 

“Woah. Seriously? Did you know how many times I’ve won our school singing contests? I nailed it all!”

 

“You win because I don’t join those cheap contests. Bleh!”

 

“Nae?! Kim Taeyeon, you’re so…ughhh!” Tiffany frustratedly squealed and then motioned that she would hit Taeyeon but I was quick enough t stop her. Taeyeon laughed more knowing that she succeeded on teasing Fany.

 

“hey stop it! You’re the best singer for me Fany ah~ And you Taengoo, stop teasing my baby, arasseo?” I hugged Fany and then blinked at Taeyeon. She nodded as a sign that she’ll stop.

 

“Hmmp! You’ll pay later shorty!...by the way Youngie? What’s your dream then?” Tiffany asked and then broke free of my hug. She positioned herself so that she could lean on my shoulder and intertwine her left hand with mine.

 

“Hmm… if both of you want to be a famous singer, then I’ll just be your number 1 fan! I’ll cheer for you guys!”

 

“A fan girl? What kind of dream is that? That’s petty, and not to mention…corny.”

 

“Oh just shut up Taeng! My Sooyoungie is very sweet, don’t you think?”

 

“whatever!” Taeyeon rolled her eyes.

 

“Yah guys! stop fighting please? You know what, I know it to hear but I’m already contented to see both of you fulfill your dreams. It feels like I’ve already reached mine when you got yours.” I said while playing with Tiffany’s hand. Then I felt a smack on my head.

 

“Awww! Why’d you do that??”

 

“Taetae’s right, you’re getting worse babe. So cornyyyyyy!” She then hi-fived with Taeyeon.

 

“What’s wrong with being corny?” We ended up laughing together. Then I noticed Taeyeon became silent.

 

“Taeng, what’s the matter?”

 

“Sooyoung ah, Fany ah, I promise to be there whenever you need me. I’ll never leave you guys.” After hearing that, I lunged my arm on Taeyeon’s shoulder and gave her a head screw.

 

“AAAAACK! CHOI SOOYOUNG!!!!”

 

“Tsk. We already know that, and it’s our golden rule eh! No one will leave each other no matter what happens.”

 

“Arasseo!! Just…ughh! Get off me!”

 

“Serves you right, shorty! HAHA!”

 

---FLASHBACK ENDS---

 

 

 

Promises. Promises that are not meant to be told. Because all of those are big fat lies. Taeyeon’s already gone, while Fany’s drifting away from me. Uhh, correction, I’m the one who pushed her away. Why does it have to be this way?

 

The past times and memories are painfully rising, one by one, as I trail the path that the three of us usually walk through towards our favorite spot here in the beach – the swing. It’s a one-seater swing where I and Taeyeon carefully installed on the two coconut trees located at the far end of the beach. I remembered the time when we would race from the school up here so that whoever comes first will have the privilege to sit on the swing and be the princess for the day, which means, the losers will be her slaves. I was running ahead of them, Tiffany was behind me, while Taeyeon was struggling to catch us. Then all of a sudden, Tiffany jumped unto me which made us fall into the ground.

 

 

 

---FLASHBACK---

 

“Gotcha!”

 

“What the-- Fany ah! Ahhhhhhh!” She jumped on me from behind that’s why we fall unto the sand with my face flat on the ground.

 

“Ugghh!”

 

“u-uhmm…Sooyoungie, you alright?” She said to me but how can I answer her if she remains lying on my back!

 

“Babe? Are you dead?! YAH!” She yelled at me and I swear, that voice will make my eardrums explode in no time. When I gathered enough strength, I lifted my head and answer her.

 

“Will you get off me first? You’re so heavy!” I earned a slap at my arm for saying that. I just giggled at it.

 

When I felt the weight was gone from my back, I rolled to face her and all of a sudden, her lips landed on mine. It was a quick peck but it felt forever as I remain stunned on my position. She stood up and stuck her tongue out. Damn! She tricked me!

 

“Sorry babe, but I don’t wanna be your slave. So… gotta go!” Before I could react, she was already 20 feet away from me and here I am, sitting like a lost child on the shore.

 

“Hey Soo, seems like your baby wins again today huh?” Taeyeon extended her hand and helped me stand up. I dusted off the dirt from my uniform.

 

“Tsch. She doesn’t play fair.”

 

“Well, at least you’ve got a kiss from her.”

 

“That’s… if she’ll just do that everyday, I’d be more willing to be her slave forever.”

 

“Ayy, Stop it, you’re creeping me out!” She said and then smacked my back. Then she starts to run away.

 

“Awwww! Taengoo???? Wait!”

 

---FLASHBACK ENDS---

 

 

 

Now, I’m already in front of the swing I’m pertaining to. It’s a miracle that it’s still here after all these years, though it looks like it’ll break once you try to sit on it. I applaud this swing for staying here, for better or for worst. Trashes can be seen around the place as a proof that it has been abandoned long time ago. Just then, a smile plastered on my face after I words etched on the tree.

 

Soo <3 Fany

 

She’s the one who carved it and she even got a wound because of that. Ddil Fany as always. I traced the carving and closed my eyes.

 

 

 

---FLASHBACK---

 

“Awww                !”

 

“Babe, what are you doing? Be careful will ya?” I asked as I put a band aid on her cut from carving the trunk using her scissors. After that, she continued etching the trunk.

 

“This?... Hmm, this will symbolize our relationship…”

 

“Eh? Soo…loves..Fany? Why me? Why not Fany loves Soo?”

 

She suddenly stopped on carving the wood and became serious. Then, she faced me and gently caressed my left cheek.

 

“So that when the time comes you feel like you’re losing it, this will remind you that I’m the only one that you love…”

 

“Babe, how can you say that? You know you’re the only one I love… and the one that I’d ever love in my whole life.” I leaned towards to kiss her but she pushes her palm on my face and turned around.

 

“Yaaaaah!”

 

“Hmmp! Sweet talker…Just prove it.”

 

“I can prove it. I don’t know if you can.” I placed my chin on her shoulder and wrapped my arms from behind.

 

“Are you challenging me?”

 

“Hmm….yes?”

 

“So, let’s see if this will convince you.”

 

She turned her head and planted feather kisses on my cheeks. Then she adjusted her position in such a way that she’ll be leaning on the tree while facing me. She clung her hands on my neck and owned my lips like she used to do.

 

---FLASHBACK ENDS---

 

 

 

 

Soo loves Fany… Soo loves Fany… That’s a fact. I loved her so much to the point that I’ve already seen my future with her. I even proposed to her to marry me. But what did she do? She dumped me. She hurt me. But I realized that it’s my fault why I ended up like this. She tried to explain but I didn’t listen to her. She tried to stay with me but I kept running away from her. She tried to hold unto our promise but I’m the one who broke it. I left her. I hurt her. I broke her heart.

 

I don’t know how long I’ve been waiting there. The sun has found its home and darkness starts to take over. Coldness begins to seep through my clothes and anxiety took its toll on me. I remained sitting on the sand while hugging my knees. Still, Tiffany hasn’t arrived yet. Out of boredom, I draw random figures on the sand – that…is what I thought. I never noticed that I’ve already written Tiffany’s Korean name, Miyoung, in Hangul; and a heart-shaped figure beside it. Then I realized that I’ve also written my Hangul name next to it.

 

미영 <3 수영

 

I released a bitter chuckle at my piece of art. I sniffed and wiped away the tears that has successfully escaped from my eyes. Miyoung loves Sooyoung… Miyoung loves Sooyoung. That’s… a fact. I know she still loves me… I know it even if she won’t tell it to me, though, she already said it to me SEVERAL times. And that’s what scares me the most. The mere fact that I can’t return the love she’s giving to me because I’ve already clung my heart onto someone else’s, makes me feel guiltier. I hate it because it hurts me too.

 

Okay…fine.

 

I won’t deny anymore that I still care for her because…

 

I love her…

 

I still love her…

 

That’s what my heart says…

 

But I know it’s not right.

 

I’m currently trying to make it work with Jessica.

 

So I can’t bear to hurt her further.

 

That’s what my mind says…

 

But I’ve already decided.

 

Now, here I am, set to cause another wave of torture on her murdered heart. I don’t want to do it but this is how things supposed to happen. I should not dwell on the past, on OUR past, anymore. I need to do this to clarify everything, to confirm my feelings, and to be able to finally FULLY move on from our dreadful past.

 

I keep pondering my thoughts on what would I say to her. I planned to do this clear and quick. I will apologize to her, then I’ll ask if she can forgive me, and if everything goes well, maybe, we can start over and be like we used to be before – but just as friends. At least, what I want is to revive our friendship because I think that will be the best for us.

 

It’s easy to say but it’s hard to do. So I’m preparing myself for the worst. I just hope that this time, my heart would fully cooperate with my mind, or else, I would be in great mess, again… Can I bear to break her heart once more? Or will my plan backfire me?

 

 

 

 

TIFFANY’s POV

 

Yuri was about to kiss me…and I felt like I was going to give in that moment. But then, I was greatly relieved when a phone call has interrupted us. And of all the people who will call, it’s the one who has been on my mind the whole time…Sooyoung.

 

Here you come again, just when I’m about to make it work without you.

 

She said we need to talk. I don’t know if I should be happy with it but I kinda felt eerie about this meeting. I was wondering why she wants to talk to me. What should I expect? That Sooyoung will come back to me since she and Jessica broke up? That is…impossible. It’s like dissolving oil in water.

 

Also, the fact that she wants us to meet at our usual hang out place was definitely unexpected. Why in the world would she like us to go to that beach? Is she trying to insult me? She said she wants me to get over our past but now, she wants US to meet there. Didn’t she know that I hate that place? No, I mean, I’m trying my best to hate that place because I’m TRYING to move on.

 

I’m on my way back to the condominium after I hailed a taxi, though I really felt sorry for leaving Yuri at the park that way. I was contemplating to myself if I should go or not. Why should I go there? There’s no reason for me to talk to her because if she would just ask me to stay away from her, I already know that. I’m sick and tired of listening to her pleas to forget her and get a new life.

 

I went straight to my unit after I arrived at the condo. I chose not to meet her so I planned to take a good full bath to wash away my anxieties and worries. Right after I entered my room, I went to the bedroom and lie there first.

 

Sooyoung suddenly darted out of my mind again.

 

She wants to talk to me…correction… she BEGGED to me for us to talk.

 

She even said to me that she’ll wait for me.

 

I know her. Once she said she’ll do something, she’ll really do it no matter what happens. And whenever she begs, she really means it.  She is the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. And that stubbornness is the main reason why we ended up like this.

 

*sigh*…

 

*sigh*…

 

*sigh*…

 

Should I go?

 

Or should not?

 

*sigh*

 

AISH!

 

I remained on my position while thinking about it until I felt my eyelids fell down. After a while, I opened my eyes and take a look at the wall clock.

 

7:45 p.m.

 

!

 

I didn’t notice that I’ve already slept for 3 hours.  I remembered Sooyoung so I jolted up from the bed, picked up my phone and wallet, then went down the building to look for a cab. I never cared what my appearance would be since I’m more worried at her condition. It’s already cold as freezer outside so I bet she’s freezing right now. Fortunately, I immediately found one and explained where the place is. It’s kinda far from my place so I think it’ll take me another 30 minutes to go there. I hope she’s NOT there because I would be really mad at her if she insists staying outdoors in this kind of weather.

 

When I arrived at the place, the first thing I did was to look around. There was not much light post towards the shore so I have to be careful while walking. Good thing the moon is shining brightly to guide me. The nearer I came to the shore, the colder the feeling is. It’s probably due to the sea breeze, but aside from that, anxiety and nervousness also adds up to that. It just creeps me out and I badly want to get out of here.

 

Little by little, memories are gushing out of my mind just like how the waves hit the shore. The beach where I, Sooyoung, and Taeyeon used to walk together. The place where we can be just ourselves and not worry about what people say about our “gayness”, as our dear classmates coined us that term. I suddenly missed Taeyeon. She’s like the referee whenever I and Sooyoung were arguing. She’s my mentor, sister, and also, my close friend. Sooyoung and Taeyeon have known each other for a long time before they met me. They are the very best example of BFFs. However, things get rough between them when Sooyoung found out that Taeyeon likes me.  Worst thing is, Taeyeon died because of my stupid mistake.

 

 

 

 

---FLASHBACK---

 

“I love you.”

 

“Are you crazy??? Taeyeon, what the hell are you talking about?!” I was agitated on her sudden confession that’s why I raised my tone.

 

“I love you Fany… B-but I don’t expect you to love me back the way I want you to, because I know…you love Soo and she loves you as well. I just want to let it out… that’s it.”

 

“………….”

 

No words came out of my mouth since I was stunned and don’t know how to react as of the moment so I shifted my gaze downward. Aigoo. Taetae? Why me?, I thought.

 

“Fany ah, please say something... Did I scare you?” She managed to release a soft chuckle then she held my hand and lifted my chin.

 

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

 

“W-why? I can’t contain it anymore, I have no one to talk to so...it’s best that you’ll know it before anyone else .”

 

“But you c-can’t! How can you do this to her? S-she’s your best friend!”

 

“I know! That’s why I’m doing my best to stay strong and not break down whenever I saw you together. I’m controlling myself not to hug you or stay near you whenever I have this urge to do such thing because I’m afraid that I would fall deeper to you. I have to pretend that I’m happy for you guys, well in fact, I’m not. I did that because I care for both of you. I love you guys…I lov—“

 

SLAP!

 

I slapped her to stop her from saying nonsense things. This is so absurd. I just found myself tearing up and hitting her with my hands. She tries to calm me by getting a hold of my arms.

 

“Stop it Taeyeon ah! Y-you can’t… Take back what you’ve said… that’s not true. Tell me you’re just lying!!!”

 

“Fany ah…mianhe. I’m sorry...but I’m not taking it back.”

 

“Arghhh! You’re…you’re so hopeless.” I broke free from her hold and then turned my back to run away out of my house. But then when I opened the door, I was utterly surprised to see Sooyoung standing there and I guess she heard everything I and Taeyeon talked about.

 

“S-sooyoung… Did you—“

 

“Don’t speak Miyoung. Just.shut.up.”

 

“But…”

 

“And you…” she darted out to Taeyeon. “Is that true? Y-you’ve secretly loved my girlfriend?”

 

“Soo… I’m sorry. I tried to stop myself but I just can’t do it…I’m so sor—“

 

“Oh just stop this Taeyeon! How long have you’ve been hiding this huh??? How long would you lie to us?!!!”

 

Sooyoung rushed to Taeyeon and grabbed her collar. She was very furious and I can clearly see it in her eyes so I went behind her to tug and stop her. I was frantically crying beside them, begging them to stop it but she just neglected me.

 

“You’re a traitor… How dare you to betray me huh? I trusted you Taeyeon… Do you think you can steal her from me?!”

 

“I didn’t betray you and I’m not gonna do that… You know me Soo.”

 

“Really? Tsk… Liar!” Sooyoung punched her on the face that’s why she fell down on the floor. Then Sooyoung pulled her up and punched her again. Worst, Taeyeon fought back and tackled Sooyoung. They brawled at each other while I remained frozen and my chest tightened at the view. My attempts to stop them are futile and I don’t think I can do anything about it. It’s sickening so I gathered all my remaining strength that was left to me and…

 

“IF YOU WANT TO KILL EACH OTHER THEN FINE!!!”

 

I ran away and slammed the door after I went out of the house. Tears are falling, my eyes were blurry, and I don’t know what to do. I continued my pace not minding where to go. Then I heard someone called me from behind but I didn’t face it. Instead, I walked faster and crossed the street. Due to my stupidity, I didn’t notice that the stoplight is green, and vehicles are zooming out on the road. I was successful on crossing halfway but then there is this van approaching me as seen in my peripheral vision. But it was too late for me to step back because it was useless since it was speeding up. It’s like my world has stopped that moment, my body can’t move, my ears deafened at the honk, and my eyes were blinded by the headlights. If I’m gonna die right now…then I’ll be a restless soul forever. But then…

 

“TIPPANY!!!!”

 

What happened next was beyond my comprehension. It happened so fast that I already saw myself slumping on the cold pavement. There are many lights flashing and people gathering around. I struggled to get up though my head is spinning and my body is aching.

 

I’m still alive.

 

I noticed people are crowding behind me. They’re supposed to help me ‘coz I’m the one who was bumped by the car… But I realized that I was two feet away from that van.

 

What the hell has happened???

 

Someone helped me to stand so I thanked him. I looked at my back and swam on the crowd to see what happened. And there, I saw a lifeless body lying on the ground, blood spilled everywhere, and… I was terrified to see who it was. My jaw dropped and tears welled up again from my eyes at the view.

 

“T-Taeyeon…”

 

---FLASHBACK ENDS—

 

 

 

Taeyeon died because she saved me. She died because of my stupidity. And I can’t forgive myself because of that. Up until now, I can’t forget that tragedy and I was really glad that her sister, Hyoyeon, didn’t hate me. Instead, she loved me as her best friend and stick up with me through all the hard times I have experienced. Since then, things went out of control between I and Sooyoung and the rest was history.

 

The wind continues to blow as I walked near the shore since it’s low tide. Even though I’m wearing a coat, coldness still gets it way underneath it. Along the path, I saw footprints on the sand.

 

It’s hers.

 

She really went here. And now, I’m few meters away from our hideout – the two coconut trees with a swing. I don’t know if I’m dreaming but it’s still there. After all these years, it’s good to know that it remained rooted at that spot because it’s the only and last proof I can hold onto when I want to remember our better days.

 

As I came near to it, I saw a figure sitting on the sand and I’m one hundred and one percent sure that it’s Sooyoung. Her back was facing me and I can also see that she’s hugging her knees while writing something on the sand. She’s been staying here for God only knows how long it was. It’s freaking cold here and she was only wearing thin clothing? Aish!

 

“Babo…” I uttered under my breath. At first, I hesitate to walk towards her. So I remained standing on my spot for a while.

 

I was just staring at her.

 

Then I heard her chuckle…and sniff like she was crying the whole time. Curiosity, as well as anxiety, was building up inside me. So I slowly approached her, careful not to make any sound that will alarm her that I’m already here.

 

And then I saw what she’s written on the sand…

 

미영 <3 수영

 

I gasped upon seeing it but I was able to cover my mouth to prevent making any noise. Miyoung loves Sooyoung. She reversed what I’ve engraved on the tree back then, which is “Soo loves Fany”. I asked myself why she is doing this. Does she have a changed of heart? Did she realize that I can love her much better than Jessica? Tsk. I’m assuming things too much. I can’t contain what I’m feeling inside anymore so I finally decided to confront her.

 

“Sooyoung…”

 

 

 

 

 

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continuation will be uploaded hmm....next week?? HAHA.

comments please???

i know... sorry soosicspheres!

i'll make it up to you...PROMISE :)))

 

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SMYoung
#1
still my favorite story here in aff 😊
shikshinJagiyaSoo24
#2
Chapter 45: Authorsshi~~ where are you now~~ are you still gonna update your story? I'll still be waiting~~ update soon juseyoooo~~~
shikshinJagiyaSoo24
#3
Chapter 45: Authorsshi~~ where are you now~~ are you still gonna update your story? I'll still be waiting~~ update soon juseyoooo~~~
SMYoung
#4
Author, how are you? I missed you and this story. I hope you're okay.
jorjess #5
Chapter 45: Just found and also finished read this, and your story was great author. By the way where are you right now?
hwangmiyoung01
#6
Chapter 45: Soo, just stop break fany's heart.
Fany is really hurt :( pls just stop soo if you can't love tiff back. Dont make her hurt more. She's the most who feeling hurt between soosic. Jessica has yuri who love her also sooyoung. And tiff break soo heart for the for the first time because she has a reason. Plsss that one month soo go with sica make soo realized that tiffany is the one who's hurting the most and always give her a chance. I hope soosic didnt work so soo can heal tiff's broken heart. Let tiff be happy for once. Pls let tiff be selfish. Tiffany understand about soosic relationship, jessica so selfish here, she just want soo by herself. She didnt think about others while tiff still think about jess and its unfair for jess, tiff said:( And just let yuri has chance to mend jessica's broken heart.
I can't take it anymore to see tiffany hurt.
Soofany Yulsic for the ending please~~
Please let tiff happy for once and feel the loved by Soo :) Your story very good author. I get the feeling when tiff is hurt. Please update soon
ChantChant #7
Chapter 43: welcome back....
and i have re-read the previous chapters at once.....
for the latest chapter.....I have a feeling that it will become a cycle again....
somebody leaves somebody....and.....argh......hard to stand for Tiff or Jess.......
can't wait for the coming updates......
Chotivisit #8
Chapter 45: Too much </3
SMYoung
#9
I'm just so happy that you updated! <3 Still my favorite story here.