“What did you say to her?  To Yoona?” Chanyeol asked him, while throwing a dart to the board. It fell on the triple ring. Sehun was biting on a green apple while patting his cat on his lap. “Nothing.” he answered simply.

Chanyeol glanced him a judging look and walked across the room and sat down on the piano chair, “Is there something you’re hiding from me?” he asked.

Sehun sighed long, “You know the deal, her parents and my father want us to-”

“No, not that.” Chanyeol cuts him off. “About something else,” He paused, “The librarian.”

“What about her?” Sehun asked, defensively. He looks at Chanyeol, his eyes darken, crinkling at the corners.

“Do you have a thing for her?” Chanyeol asked directly, without beating around the bush. “You seem different. You act different, these days. All you talk is about her. You’re not attending the basketball meetings like you used too, and even if you did, you have this weird grin on your face all the time. You read books now, and spending most of your time in the library. So tell me, what is going on.”

“What are you implying?”

“You know what I mean.”

Sehun chuckled, “If you think I like her then no, I don’t like her, I just have,” he paused, searching for the right word at the back of his mind, “a tender curiosity about her.” he ended, not wanting the conversation to develop.

“Don’t lie to me, I know you better than that.” Chanyeol said, rather softly. “Don’t lie to yourself either.” He stood from his chair and sat beside Sehun, not looking at him directly. “It’s okay to love something you can’t explain. The worst thing you could do to yourself is to deny and run away from what you feel.”

“Well, it can’t go anywhere, can it?”

“Do you want it to go somewhere?”

Sehun look flustered. He shakes his head, disturbed by his own thoughts. “I don’t see her that way,” he admitted. “I just like being around her. That’s all.”

They both sat in silence, not moving a limb. Sehun felt a rush of emotions sweeping him in his mind.

“I’m not sure how you feel, but I know you’ve been trying so hard to hide everything from those who need to know your true feelings the most. You’re doing it since you’re 12. I just don’t want you to get good at it. You have nightmares, because you learned to run, instead of accepting.”

Sehun was reminded of his mother. How he wanted to stop her from leaving him, how he wanted to cry his eyes his out, and despite his emotions and how horrible he felt at the time, how he stood there, emotionless, his eyes beaming from tears, but never dropped.

Sehun smiled, but his smile didn’t touch his eyes. Chanyeol rubbed his Sehun’s back softly, “I’m here, if you want to talk.” he said.

Sehun inhaled sharply, and nodded.

//

Sehun sat down on the floor of his room, his hands are on the glass round table, looking at the 120 scattered puzzle pieces. If the puzzle was completed, it would look like the night sky with beautiful stars.

His room felt more larger and quieter than it usually does. It’s impossible to feel lonely and alone at the same time, but Sehun swear he felt it. He tried to focus on the incomplete piece in front of him, but his mind keeps recalling the conversation between him and Chanyeol this evening.

He couldn’t help but to imagine the possibilities of his life, if his mother stayed. Would he be happier, carefree kid, like Baek Hyun? Or would he be an understanding teenager like Chanyeol?

Or would he be the obedient, all parent’s dream son like Lay?

But at least he knew he wouldn’t be the person he is now. Sehun didn’t miss his mother. He no longer used to throw tantrums because his mother isn’t there. He don’t feel jealous knowing his friends bring home made lunches to school. Because he is no longer the same kid, who yearned the affection of a mother.

Sehun loved the story of a boy who never grew up. He wanted to be like him. He wanted to have fun all the time, without having any worries about anything. He never wanted to understand the world. Or maybe, he just loved the story because his mother read to him every night when he sleeps.

His eyes glanced over to the thin book on his bean bag, and he lingered his stare on it for a while. A particular quote struck his mind,

“If you do, you'll be running an incalculable risk. It will be up to you whether the world begins to live again or stands still forever and a day. Are you really prepared to take that risk?”

“Distraction.” he said to himself, then turned his head to face the puzzle again. It wouldn’t take long, he thought.

 I can clear myself, and keep unimportant things from my head if I get this done. It wouldn’t take long.

He rearranged the pieces carefully one by one.

She’s not significant. I can go days without seeing her. She’s not that significant.

He muttered the words again and again and before he realized it, he has completed the puzzle.

//

“That would be 1500 won,” she said, without looking at his eyes. Tao hands her the money, and smirks slightly. “What time do you get off?” he asked.

“Thank you so much, customer.” she said automatically ignoring his question, bowing slightly to him. “Please come again.”

He pointed his finger to her, smiling almost too friendly, “I’ll take your word,” he said. He took his cup ramen and went to the long table at the end of the counter.

He’s messing with her and that pisses her off. She walked towards him, hands on her hips staring at him, while he blows the hot noodles.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, angrily. She gritted her teeth, feeling very much annoyed.

He shakes his head, “Eating noodles?” he answered innocently. She said nothing but glared at him with frustration.

“Why do you hate me so much?” he asked, his chopsticks midway to his mouth. “Did I rub you off in a wrong way?”

She stood startled at his question. No, he didn’t rub her off in a wrong way. The truth is, she’s getting annoyed of everything all day long.

“Sorry,” she grumbles, slumped on the seat next to him casually. She clutches her stomach when she feels the knot of pain.

“Are you okay?” Tao asked, seeing her being lethargic for the first time.

She shakes her head, and keeping her head low, “No, its just my first day of my period,” she said unabashedly. Tao widens his eyes, feeling awkward, at her frankness. “I see,” he stammered. It took him a moment to work up an appropriate reaction, “You’re funny.” he grinned. She shot him a annoyed look and he chuckled.

“By why are you here?” she asked, looking at the glass window, “Do you have some friends living nearby?”

“No,” he said, slurping in his noodles. “I came to see you.”

She averted her gaze from the window to him questioningly. “Why?” she asked, resting her chin on her hand, “If you want me to spy for you, I’m sorry I can’t.”

“I just wanted to talk to you.” he said, smiling. “You’re weird, and I’m just interested.”

“Is this the way of you flirting?” she scowled.

“You don’t like it?”

“No,”

“Okay, then.”

She looked surprised, raising her brows at him, confused and staggered, “What do you want then?”

“Like I said, I just wanted to talk.”

Haru looked at him quietly. There is a untold hint of loneliness in him. He tries to cover it with his superior confidence and wit, but it is there, underneath, all the facade, it lies there.

“So you are here, because you have no friends, and you felt lonely, and you just want someone to talk too?” She asked, almost regretting a second later.

His lips curls into a faint smile and he stares at her appraisingly. “Don’t read me.” he said wryly.

“I’m not,” she said curtly. “ I just think, you resemble Sehun in some ways.”

“How so?” he asked, interested.

She stared elsewhere, remembering Sehun and the first time, they met. “He’s proud and unpleasant. He constantly talks so highly of himself. He’s a bit of jerk,” she laughs, “But he is just some much more than what he seems to be like. He’s cold and hostile, but he has a warm side to him too.” she her head to inside, a hint of smile playing in her lips.