Baekhyun turned reckless.

He tries seeing women more than once, to try to develop some kind of attachment, that was all weird. All of it. Still he was able to see a couple of them like eight or nine times. A lot in one week. He had always been blundering through one girl after a next, almost desperate to never be alone. Just to see if he could feel, forget the same confusion he felt with Haru, but feel anything remotely like it. After he left them his first unprompted thought was “I wonder what Haru’s doing?” Every freaking time. It gnawed at him.

Baekhyun can’t remember when it began to change, or the precise moment she’d first accomplished doing what she did so well. He really didn’t. It was not often he was left feeling like this: lonely, sad, wanting. His mood shifted downward even more when he realized how often this happened the moment she left him—how irritable he got when he knew he wouldn’t be seeing her for days. It sometimes only took minutes for the effect of her absence to grab a strong, clenched, unrelenting hold. He was reluctant to name the emotion in fear of it really, truly, settling into his system.

Liking her would explain his constant acceptance of being nice to her, even allowing her to continue to see him at his most vulnerable.

But he didn’t. He couldn’t.

He'd long ago accepted the fact he could never have a functional relationship with how horribly he'd been brought up by his father, his views, his feelings, his decisions on such matters were. The way he felt in the moments shared with her couldn’t be anything other than real, special, too important for his well-being that he couldn’t just simply write her off as his best friend's girlfriend. 

He walked in and the disco was filled with the usual crowd, and Baekhyun paused inside the doorway and let his cool gaze sweep around the room. This was the first time he had been to this particular bar and there was a new sea of new faces for him to choose from. He found his target almost immediately.

A girl with straight black hair and a compact body who was standing beside the jukebox, her hips swaying almost unconsciously to the sound of the music. Their eyes met from across the room, a silent communication taking place between them as the girl made her way through the crowd to his side.

No names were given and none were needed. 

“You wanna get out of here?” Baekhyun asked. He wasn’t in the mood for the subtle niceties. 
She cocked one eyebrow at him with a smirk on her pretty beautiful features. “A man who doesn’t beat around the bush. I like that.” She smirked.

***

Baekhyun fell beside her on the bed, pushing her away when she tried to cuddle with him. She stretched out beside him, watching Baekhyun's face as she slowly regained her senses. A smirk of pleasure crossed her face secure in the knowledge that Baekhyun isn't the sort of person that would cling onto a one night stand. 

“I'm Taeyeon, by the way,” she finally mumbled, flashing a brilliant smile at her bedmate. “I think it' s too late for this but nice to meet you," 

He didn't reply to her, as he stood away from bed to pick up his clothes on the floor. He slipped into his shirt, ed, and jeans all most too quickly, and walked towards the window. The wind howled. Whipping through the dark, grey blanketed dawn sky causing the branches to scratch against the outside walls of the hotel. The rain, muffled by the glass yet beat down on the roof heavily like angry little feet with vengeance.

A sharp silver lightning bolt casted on him, and his eyes flickered immediately up at the sky. A loud rumble sound followed shortly after. His gaze at the sky fades away and a familiar twinge of pain stabs his heart. 

"She's afraid of thunders," he said absent mindedly. "I shouldn't have known that. Now I'm forced to think about her every time it rains," He says that almost too sadly, as it it physically hurts him to remember that. 

Maybe he was that pathetic. 

"Who?" Taeyeon asked him as she lay on her side to look at him, a dazed look on her face from his sad demeanour. 
"None of your business. Thanks for the night," he finally replied to her. He took his phone from the small coffee table beside the bed, ready to leave. 
"Haru?" She asked him suddenly and he jerked his head back, looking at her confusingly. 
"How?"
She chuckled, letting out a small misplaced laugh, "You mumbled her name several times when you're sleeping," She sat on the bed, pulling the bedsheets to her bare chest, covering her modestly. "Unrequited love, I take it?"
He huffed out in annoyance, his fingers roughly raked through his hair. "Like I said. None of your business," 

She grinned as he started walking across the room, her eyes were twinkling with amusement as she let her gaze slowly rake over the lean muscular build before her, her eyes resting a bit longer than necessary on the obvious abs outlined on his abdomen. "Let me guess," she said, bitting her lip, "You loved her and she left you for another guy?" 

"Love?" Baekhyun scoffed out bitterly. "I don’t do love. I do this," he said pointing to the messy bed. "It’s honest, it’s efficient. You get in and out with maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bull. Love is something that silly people tell themselves they’re in, so they can get laid. And they end up hurting each other, because it was all based on lies to begin with. If love is what I want, then I' ll go and find myself a pretty little girl, and get married," 

He didn’t elaborate any further and she didn’t pry. 

"But you're hurt," she points out subtly, reaching for her undergarments on the floor and Baekhyun rolled his eyes at her.

Taeyeon finished dressing herself and walked back over to him and held her gaze, "Being in love is horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up," she paused, looking at him, a small smile formed on her face, "But it's worth it." There was a teasing note to her voice, almost a challenge, as she smirked. "Call me whenever you're," she paused briefly, "hurt," she emphasized the last word mockingly. She took her lipstick from her bag and scribbled her number on a tissue paper before dropping it on the bed. 

Baekhyun clenched his jaw but released it seconds later, nodding slightly at her. He grabbed his jacket from the chair across the room, before his phone vibrated continuously.  

"Lets meet up!" - Chanyeol
"When?" - Kai
"It's been a long time guys. I need some gossips." - Xiumin 
"My life's boring. I'll pass." - D.O. 
"C'mon. The drinks on me," - Chen
"Busy,"- Sehun
"Get your asses down at the usual cafeteria at 5 or I'll personally drag you out," - Chanyeol

Baekhyun cursed internally, as he scrolled through the group chat. He really wasn't in the mood for the meet up. He lifted his head and stifled a sigh. "Hey, too early to ask for a favour?" 

//

Sehun sighed from reading the conversations and shot Haru a hopeful look, "Do you want to come along?" He asked casually, while playing with his iPhone. 

She looked up at her, blinking as her eyebrows flicked up a bit in surprise. "I don't think I'll be much of a fun," she admitted. She was reluctant to follow, herself, if she was being honest. When she hesitated, he quirked an eyebrow.

"Nonsense. You'll do just fine," He smirked. The smirk widened, softening at the edges a bit, into something that almost resembled a real smile. "C'mon. It'll be fun. You can bring your friend along if you want," he suggested, moving over to sit on the edge of the couch, by her legs. He lifted them obligingly, lowering them back onto his lap as soon as he settled in, his eyes lingering on the ring adorning her finger.

She narrowed her eyes at him, considering it. Hesitantly, she tried to match his tone. “Okay. I'll ask Minzy,” she said, glibly, grabbing her phone to pen out a quick text to her friend. 

//

"This is Taeyeon," Baekhyun introduced her to his friends, "We met last night,"

She bowed down lightly to the group, smiling ever so elegantly to each of them, "Nice to meet you,"

He decided to bring her along, because explaining about her seems much easier compared to the possibilities of answering his friend's questions about Haru and the time he spend with her in Japan. Baekhyun was not used to being at a loss for words. He's always been the person that could say something to lighten the atmosphere: flirt, crack a joke, anything to blast away the awkwardness.

As the boys took turns interrogating Taeyeon, Baekhyun's gaze fell out of the window, contemplating how much he'd changed in the course of days. He ran his fingers through his hair, drawing an uncertain breath before placing them on Taeyeon's behind casually as he tries to distract himself from thinking too much. 

The boys continued chatting with the new company, which Baekhyun obviously didn't pay attention to. He continued to stare into nothing and suddenly Chanyeol titled his head to his right, his mouth forming a huge lopsided grin, "Sehun! And Hana?"

"Haru," she corrected, giggling softly. 

Baekhyun felt a wave of sensations rippling over his skin as he quickly remove his hand from Taeyeon's back, his eyes slowly looking at the newly arrived couple. Haru wore a plain, deep burgundy colored dress, and he thought she looked lovely. 

"Hi, Baekhyun," she greeted him politely, after catching him staring at her. "Its been a while,". 

He heard her words and became even more worried. She hadn’t used honorifics for a very long time, but he didn’t say a word. Her eyes then moved to Taeyeon, smiling sweetly, and then back to Baekhyun. Her eyebrow were raised playfully as if she's teasing him about his new girlfriend.

He said nothing but nodded at her in reply.

Haru felt Sehun's hand on her waist, and startled a bit, turning to glance at him. He'd never been one for casual touching. She wondered if he was trying something out, but looking at his face, she realized that he wasn't showing any signs of his usual tension when stepping out of his comfort zone. He likely didn't even realize where his hand was. But she wasn't the only one to realize this, Baekhyun sees it too. Steeling himself, Baekhyun sat across from her, feeling his heart thump painfully as he met her eyes. 

**

The rest of the meet up went pleasantly well, much to Haru's surprise. She genuinely enjoyed the conversations that took place, and occasionally threw in a few questions randomly to the boys. Chanyeol's gaze flickered between Sehun and Haru, the slight smile on his friend's face made Chanyeol think that Sehun is really happy being with her. Chanyeol wondered if Sehun even realised that he grinned the entire time. 

"How's Japan?" D.O asked her, as he sipped on his iced tea. "Baekhyun must be a pain for you,"
"On the contrary, I find him really nice," She answered back. Baekhyun glanced at her, and swallowed before speaking, "It was rather boring for me," He lied. He was doing this on purpose, his expression flat and cold, "I can't wait to get out of there,"
"Is it?" Haru asked, cocking her head slightly. Her tone suggested she wasn't offended with what he said. 

Minutes later, a set of hot beverages arrived. Kai passed Haru her cup of hot coffee wordlessly and she flinched when her skin came in contact with the hot mug. Baekhyun glared almost immediately at Kai, and then his worried eyes landed on Haru's hand. 
It was just another sign of how much of a crush he really had on her. 

Even when he tried to deny it and hide it, there were some times he was overwhelmed by how much he cared. Like how he thought her terrible jokes were endearing, how he cared about how much she slept or eat, how he tries to find every stupid excuses to call and to hear her voice. He noticed the looks Sehun and Haru exchanged, noticed the lingering stares, the stolen smiles, the longing glances and his heart fumed with anger. He started thinking about the what ifs. The road that has not been taken. If she hadn't fall for Sehun, it might be Baekhyun who's sitting beside her now. 

“Two sugars, isn't it?” Taeyeon murmured, drawing his attention back. She needn't have asked, since she'd already put the sugar in and was stirring his tea for him. “No cream,” she added, with a small smirk.

“That's right,” he admitted, voice strangled when her hand landed dangerously near his crotch. She leaned closer to him, smiling.

"You're in love with a girl you can never have. Additional info: She's your bestfriend's girlfriend." She whispered, seductively. 

//

"I'm going to the toilet," Haru whispered, heading for the washroom. Minzy was close on her heels, giggling as she threaded her arm through Haru's, "I'm following too,"
The two girls make their way to the washroom, leaving the boys to the talk. Once inside, Minzy let out an excited giggle, "This day can't be any better," Her jaw was hanging open by the end of it. Then she leaned over and started smacking Haru on the shoulder and arm.

“Ow! That hurts!" Haru complained, trying to push her hand away.

 "You're dating Sehun!" Minzy exclaimed, "Its a huge deal!"

"I don't think so," Haru brushed it off, still rubbing her arm. Minzy grabbed Haru's hands to draw her attention back to her. She was smiling ecstatically, "It is. I don't know if you notice or not but he has this little smile on his face when he's caught off-guard by you doing something cute.”

“He doesn't-- what are you talking about?” Haru scoffed. She looked blank, and Minzy sighed internally, "He looks at you. A lot. When you're not paying attention. He looks at you, to see if you're having a good time," She teased, bouncing her eyebrows, then a curious expression crossed her face seconds later, "But the other guy looks at you a lot too," Minzy said, her eyes narrowing a bit, "Baekhyun,"

"Baekhyun?" Haru shrugged. "He's been acting cold towards me the entire time. I thought we became friends," she trailed off, her mind wandering elsewhere. "I tried to be understanding, but I don't think I'm anywhere close. Every time I think I do, I see something else and I realize I never really understood him at all. I can never tell if I'm looking at some persona he created or the real him.” 

“Maybe there is no real him, and it's all just a bunch of personas. Maybe you're going to lift all these masks off him one by one, and finally, underneath every mask, there's just a big, fat nothing.” Minzy said, dismissing her hand in a neglected wave.

//

She'd let Sehun walk her home that Sunday night, and hugged him outside of her unit. Then she'd walked inside, and when she turned a bit to glance over her shoulder, he was still standing outside, watching her go in with a little smile on his face.

"What?" She asked him, feeling a little confused with his action. 

"Can I be here for a while?" He asked, with a dumb smile on his face. She blinked at him, and the nodded slowly, "If you want," 

Sehun looked like the cat who had gotten the cream. She pinched his side, and he winced, although it did nothing to lessen the faint smirk on his face.

Haru walked across the hall and placed her bag on the table. He paced and stalked over to where she stood. He came to a stop behind her and placed his hands either side of her, trapping her.

Haru turned and tensed up when Sehun lowered his head down next to hers. She gripped the edge of the table in an attempt to put some space between them. 

His hands moved and landed on her waist, closing the small distance that was between their bodies. He touched his fingertips to her jaw, and she startled a little. He firmed his grip there, forcing her chin up to look at him. He took her hand and place it on his chest and she could feel his heart beating. 

He then leant closer, slowly letting his lips rest against . He went in softly, preparing to step back if she resisted. Haru felt a shock splinter through herself, her body going rigid. Then she relaxes, melting into him. He was kissing her and she's sure that her heart beats as fast as his.

He caress her cheek to slow the kiss down, holding on his. He savor the air they share in the second afterwards and the slip of her nose across his. He think of something to say, but it is too intimate, so he swallow it. He hesitated as he back out from her, steps a way. 

“Good night, ” he said nervously, before leaving a stunned Haru in her place.