Song #1

“I remember the day we first met

You came to me

On a dazzling (rainy) and bright (cold) day

Thank you for coming (back) to me.” – In your eyes.

FLASHBACK – (THE DAY THEY MET EACH OTHER)

The door of his home was ajar and Jinki (when he was a little boy) walked toward it. The rain brought a cool breeze and he hugged the photo he held in his little hands, afraid that the wind would take it away from him. His mother was on the porch of the house near the entrance stairs under the wooden roof waiting for something, or someone. His father was standing under an umbrella a few steps from them as he waited on the street.

"Mom?" 

His mom turned back when she heard his voice.

"Hi, honey." She looked at him with a smile full of love. "What have you got there?"

"Who is she, Mom?" Jinki showed her the photo of a little girl making soap bubbles through that small plastic ring. Her black hair seemed to moved with the wind as her blue ribbon that she had tied around her left wrist.

She was beautiful and Jinki felt something for her, but he was too young to know it was love at first sight. His mother chuckled, she watched her husband a few seconds, and then she helped his son to sit with her on the stairs, wrapping an arm around him to protect him from the cold.

"She is really beautiful, right?" His mother looked at the photograph with loving eyes and then looked at her son. "Listen, honey, now there is a bond that unites you both. Perhaps it was fate that united you two, but I know you will find the love that will keep you two together. It is she who you must see through the crowd. When you grow up you'll understand what's going on."

"So I can keep the picture with me?"

"I know you'll take good care of it, honey."

His mother stood up as a black car pulled up in front of their house. A man got out of the car and joined his father. Seconds later a woman got out of the car opening an umbrella and helped the little girl who came down too from the back seat. She looked around with innocent eyes, watching the pretty garden the family had.

For a second that seemed eternal, Jinki looked at her, unable to believe that she was the same girl in the photo he held in his hands.

There, as she took her mom's hand, the blue ribbon around her wrist moved in the wind.

FLASHBACK ENDS.

–––––– TO THE BEAUTIFUL YOU. ––––––

It was cold as I walked down the corridor to the stage, but tonight I felt my chest burning because of the anxiety that grew inside me as the road became shorter with each step. My heart was like a wild animal striking my chest and it was pumping adrenaline through my veins. The feeling was familiar and addictive, but tonight was different for me. There were a lot of people working behind the scenes to help us give a good show and I stopped at the foot of the steel stairs in the dark of the stage. I took the microphone that a member of staff gave me, I walked up the stairs when it was time to do it and I walked towards the center of the dark stage. The only sea of lights that glowed in front of me until this moment were the lightsticks the fans held.

This was the moment I was waiting for all night.

“I’ve never said this before

To tell you the truth,

I felt my heart beating on that day…”

Could you feel me singing for you, my little angel?

The music floated through the Tokyo Dome, it filled the hearts of the fans and the feeling returned to me through their voices as they sang with me. As I grew up, I began to believe that the way destiny worked upon us was a mystery. It moved through us in silence, opened our minds and explored our senses. Destiny always gives us what we most need. No more, no less. The events in our lives didn't happen by chance. We weren't dices thrown in the air hoping for a result that could be one of a million. We made the decisions in our lives, but the result of those decisions were already planned by a force greater than us. And I trusted that the results of that force would make us meet again.

“Love is coming to me,

It leads me toward you

It feels like a dream that I’ll never wake up from

It really seems

Like a dream…”

This story is to the beautiful you, angel, who were my strength and my courage, so that you remember that you are really beautiful, inside and out and in every sense of the word. It was my turn to tell our story with me as the main character, and the decisions I made for the both of us. "Because let's not live regretted by the decisions we make or by the ones we don't. Because that's not living at all." I clung to that phrase as a philosophy of life not to fear and give my all. And that was I did for us, angel, I risked everything I had for the both of us because somewhere in your fragmented memory was hiding the memory of me, between the shadows of your amnesia that took you away from me for years. I refused to believe that inside you I no longer existed. Because between our first and last meeting there was a life that we lived together, and I risked myself to continue with the marriage that our parents planned for us many years ago: I risked everthing to make you stay by my side to have the opportunity to make you love me again.

“I hope the place where loves lingers

Can be somewhere we can be together...”

Cruel destiny took you away from me when you woke up in that hospital bed without remembering who I was, but it was that same destiny who put you back in my path and who gave me one last chance for us to be together. We were young and inexperienced when we began to love each other sincerely, perhaps even ignoring some things about love. We didn't know about the responsibilities involved in loving someone but I grew up and that love remained intact in my heart. You weren't present on the battlefield, so I would fight for both of us and make myself responsible for that love you created in me with your sweet face, your shy smile and your bright eyes.

“Thank you so much

For coming to me.”

I smiled through the silent tears I never shed. I thanked the fans once with a bow as the lights went out again and their voices singing my name was the only thing heard in the dark. Their voices full of love diminished that fear I lived with after having told the world that you were the one I wanted to marry with. They gave me the confidence to believe that they would accept you, that they would respect you as a person as they did with me. I walked down the stairs to get off the stage. My heart was still a wild animal inside my chest and my mind was a puzzle with memories of our times together scattered all over. The staff never stopped walking around the place, but in the midst of the hustle while they were arranging for the last time Taemin's clothes, Minho was the first to greet me.

"You did great, hyung." He smiled as he patted my back affectionately. "I don't need to ask who you were singing for."

I shook my head.

There was a secret hidden between us. Only a few people knew the truth behind our story, angel, and of course they were part of this. I loosened the knot of my white shirt as I walked back to the dressing room to change my clothes for the next performance, while Inside every piece of clothing I wore and no matter what it was, the necklace you gave me when we were children as a farewell was still hanging around my neck. The little bird with a J in the center reminded me that what we lived was real.

I was a mind full of memories of the two of us, silent stories screaming for you to remember them, but I convinced myself that I shouldn't live waiting for your memories to come back to you, because I decided to create new ones with you if you gave me the opportunity. I just needed that, angel, an opportunity to help you heal, and although you couldn't love me again at the end, then I would let you fly like the angel you always were, because to see you happy was the only thing I wanted for you. I wanted you to be completely happy again: and if you were with me or without me, that didn't matter at all.

–––––– TO THE BEAUTIFUL YOU. ––––––

Flying was tired after a two-day concert, but the feeling of floating and be away from my idol life was comforting as time passed in a blink. There was nothing but fluffy clouds from the other side of the plane's window, white clouds that looked like cotton in a blue sky that seemed to be painted with watercolors. As long as the plane was in the air, I felt like a ship just following the move of the water. There were no schedules or places to go for now. I liked the silence, and for a moment it was just you and me and the songs on my phone that played in random, because every word reminded me of you.

Passengers of the flight 2305 from Japan, Incheon Airport welcomes you.

Finally, the boys and I were home. With sunglasses on and my hands in the pockets of my white sweatshirt that concealed the cord of my earphones, my expectations continued to grow more and more with each step we took towards the exit of the airport. My phone brought to my ears different ballads, with soft melodies on different instruments, and calm lyrics sung with different voices, which contrasted with the chaotic noise that formed at the airport because of us.

Many cameras pointed at us to capture a good picture of our arrival, no matter how tired we were or if the expressions we had weren't appropriate. Some of the guards escorted us to the exit, standing between the fans that waited for us who knows since who knew what time. Their joy overcame our tiredness, and made us feel better in a certain way, but when their emotion became insistence, things got out of control and took the wrong way.

We walked outside the double glass doors and onto the van which was already waiting for us. The white doors were open and Minho entered first, followed by Taemin, Key and Jonghyun behind him. Before climbing too, our manager patted my back because he, like my members, knew what was going to come from now on. So I entered the van as well and as always, Minho left a spare space for me in the back seat next to the window.

"Home, sweet home." Minho smiled as I sat down.

I put my backpack on my lap and smiled back at him.

Our manager closed the door, he sat in the passenger seat of the van, and then the car began to move away from the hubbub that our fans caused. "In your eyes" began to sound in my ears, and although it was strange to me to hear my own voice, an emotion flowed through my senses, because now was the time, just as always, when I thought of you again. It was funny how a song reminded me of us and led me to the memories that I liked to hold on to because they made me stronger: like the first time I saw you, when the cold morning rain fell while you got out of the car a long time ago.

Would you feel that I ever belonged to your life when we meet again? The memories lived in me although they were painful sometimes, almost impossible to bear. But when my days turned gray even when the sun was bright, impossible to look at, I played the video that your grandfather sent me many years ago. The little girl on the screen on my phone was a younger version of you, with half of her black hair held in a half ponytail, and a blue ribbon around it gently floating with the wind of that season. Sitting on a blanket in a courtyard covered in bright green lawn, you played next to your best friend until your grandfather attracted your attention.

"Say hello, girls." He said and Samantha waved. Behind her and because you never liked being in front of a camera, you waved quickly and looked away. "Baby... Do you want to say something to your fiancé?"

What were your dreams when you were a girl? In your innocent gaze was hidden any wish you had, any thought since you knew about the beautiful marriage your grandparents had for so long. Maybe you wanted one like that for you.

"Hello." You said before looking away.

"Is that all you want to say, my dear?"

You looked at your grandfather and then at the camera, considering whether it was right to say something else. At the end you tried to say hello in Korean, but you got caught up in your own nerves and ended up laughing. Your cheeks were pink compared to your pale skin, and the video came to an end.

I felt a small touch on my arm and took off the earphones to look at Minho while the others were still in their own worlds.

"You should meet her sooner." He whispered, glancing at the stopped video before looking at me. "Don't think about preparing yourself to see her. Just do it. I know that you will face anything with courage and I know you are ready. You don't need to prepare yourself, hyung. Just do it now."

His gaze showed me the strength I must had to meet you sooner than planned, and his gentle smile propelled me forward to make a call, because there was one only truth: I was dying to see you again.

"I'll do it, then." I exhaled deeply before speaking again. My body seemed to feel the expectations that formed within me. "Thank you, Minho."

And so I did, I sought the strength I knew I had inside me to call your father and approach you as soon as possible. If it was today or next week or next month, my heart would beat just as fast as now, angel, but I felt that I had already waited for you for too long and now was the time to make my deepest desire of seeing your eyes again real.

–––––– TO THE BEAUTIFUL YOU. ––––––

There was a special cafe shop in the city, one that you would surely enjoy. The bookcases were everywhere on the light brown wood floor, the tallest ones were against the walls of the place, and the lowest behind some tables or between them to divide the place into comfortable seats to have a good time. The colored books seemed to glow thanks to the afternoon sunlight streaming in through the tall glass windows. From here at the bottom of the place, I had a perfect view of your father, angel, who entered the place and smiled to see me waiting for him. At that moment I wished you could trust him because although he didn't say it aloud, he really loved you.

I was halfway to get up, but he stopped me as he approached the table.

"Don't worry, son. Sit down, please." He sat across from me wearing casual, but just as elegant as always. His white shirt was inside his black pants and his hair was perfectly combed to one side. "How was your trip? You must be tired after your concert. In fact, I was surprised by your call, son."

I always liked him to call me son. That word made me feel close to him since I was a child.

"Everything turned out well, sir. Thank you. But I called you because I thought a lot about my situation..." I knew that even though your father agreed to continue our marriage after your accident, he and my parents didn't trust in my words when i said I could make you love me again. But the moments we spent together and the promises we made were too important to just forget about them. "I know we agreed to meet next month, but I'd like to see Juliette sooner."

Your father put on the table the cup of black coffee the waiter brought him a few minutes earlier. We went through too many situations to get here but especially you, whom your parents decided to control because they thought you couldn't save yourself after the accident. You become the president of the family company being so young. It was too much, right? And then you engaged to someone you didn't know at all.

If your father tell you right now that he did it for your sake, would you believe his words? Though his actions wouldn't allow you to believe his words, they were true. I wished you could trust him again.

Your father looked up, looking at me with a thoughtful and concerned expression at the same time.

"Like I said the last time we saw each other, son, Juliette has changed a lot..." He paused for a moment. Your father was looking for the right words to describe the change in your behavior, that behavior that people who didn't know you at all dared to judge, and then he looked up to stare at me. "I appreciate you a lot. The child I met a long time ago has grown into a real man. I went against the wishes of my own daughter because I know that if she reminded you, she would still be willing to marry you. She would be happy to do it, I mean..." He cleared his throat to get rid of the knot that formed in him. Although my priority was always you, the accident didn't just involve you. The pain fell on your family too, but I knew that the worst part fell upon you when you lost your twin brother. "I just want to warn you that Juliette's personality has hardened. She always believed in her own ideas, she was stubborn in a good way, but if she doesn't change her mind about you after marriage... then she will never do it. I think you are one of the few people who really know her and you're aware of that. She's too stubborn to let anyone change her mind that easily."

"I always loved that about her, though." I chuckled, wiggling my thumb over the glass cup. On the surface of the coffee the ice cubes still floated. "I know very well that Juliette will not change her mind easily but I must at least try. That way I will not continue with my life thinking that this could have worked but it didn't because I didn't take the chance. I must give everything, sir, and if I end with nothing, it's fine too. If Juliette were in my place I know she would do this for me. I don't think she would have given up on me, and I won't do it either."

Your dad sighed deeply but he couldn't hide that spark of happiness that shone in his eyes because he could see that my words were sincere. 

"How far do you think we should go then?" He chuckled, with a sudden tiredness that appeared on his face. "When Jason, my older son rejected our companies, the responsibility fell on Jeremy even though he was the youngest of my twins, but we knew that Juliette would take his place because she didn't want to see her brother doing something he didn't love, and to show us that this was not a men's job. After a while we realized that it wasn't fair for them to carry the family business, but after the accident we gave the companies to her to keep her mind occupied. Not as a punishment, but I never told her that." Before continuing, he rubbed his face with his hands. "If this doesn't work my own daughter is going to hate me forever, but if this works she'll believe in me again. After the accident my family and I realized that something was missing in her but we couldn't fill that void. That's why I'm trusting in you, Jinki." His deep gaze lingered on mine. "If this doesn't work we will let her go then, and from there she will decide what will make her truly happy. Okay?"

My stomach squeezed painfully. The moment had arrived, it was in front of me and I would face the consequences of my own actions and I wouldn't regret anything.

"Okay, then..." He said. His body relaxed as did the expression on his face. "Let's bet everything. Let's do this today."

"Today?" I asked foolishly, but this seemed to be the starting line of our life together and my mind processed it all in a second. I couldn't even hide the joy in my voice and I didn't bother to do it either. This afternoon I decided to be like you: stubborn, and cling to the idea that this was the right thing for both of us. I decided for both of us. At least I had to try, angel, and if you didn't love me back in the end, then I'd let you go. "Today, then."

–––––– TO THE BEAUTIFUL YOU. ––––––

I walked down the hall from my bedroom to the living room when it was time to go to pick you up from your university. The hours before seemed to run like seconds making me feel closer and closer to you. It felt like rebirth, or as if I were submerging myself into a whole new world that was strange to me as well. I came into the living room while the members watched TV. They were my family too, and thanks to them and the help I would receive from them, I knew that making you feel at home when you moved with us would be easier. Although moving in was just an excuse for us to live together for you to get to know me (again), I thanked that they were here with me at this time of my life. After all, their unconditional support was what helped me survive these years without you.

Minho was the first to look at me.

"This is the time, right?" He smiled. "Are you ready?"

I adjusted the collar of my jacket and smiled through my own nerves.

"It is. I feel like I can’t breathe but I'm fine."

My heart kept pounding my chest with each beat. That hadn't changed since your father said I could see you today, and I suspected that this feeling wasn't going to go away in a while.

"Don't be nervous, hyung." Jonghyun said. "You're going to do well."

Key nodded.

"And don't forget to be charming with her. Use that and some of your clumsiness... it's part of your charm too."

The boys chuckled, but they looked relaxed unlike me. I wished their good spirits flowed through me so that I could be myself when I would be with you, even though I was nothing but a frightened child right now.

"Hyung?" Taemin looked at me seriously, but I saw a little insecurity in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell noona that she had forgotten you? Wasn't it easier to tell her the truth about her past next to you?"

As if he had said a forbidden word, the smiles of the others disappeared, and I felt that my own smile had turned into a grimace of sadness. Jonghyun gave him a slight push, as if talking about your loss of memory was a forbidden subject between us. I suspected, for a moment, that they talked about it between themselves and not with me. Maybe they thought the subject was too painful for me.

"It's okay, guys." I said as I looked at their expressions, and I walked to the couch to sit down before I left. Before speaking, the boys were straightening in their seats. "When Juliette suffered the accident her father called me to tell me how she was. Days later when Juliette woke up her dad called me again. He said exams were done and they concluded that part of her brain had gone out, so she didn't remember me or some memories of her childhood. He asked me if I thought it would be a good idea to tell her the truth about us, but he asked me... her dad begged me to consider what was best for Juliette and not just for me. Her family left it in my hands because the forgotten memories were about me, so... I decided that Juliette doesn't know who I had been in her life, so she would only focus on healing her body and her mind."

Maybe we talked about this subject only two or three times during the previous years, only when it was necessary to tell them why I cried like a child when I knew about the accident and the events that happened after that. But when your father came back to Korea to tell me that personally, I put my broken pieces together and kept myself strong to ask him to continue with the wedding, and here we were now, to a couple of minutes away to be together again.

"I'm sorry, Hyung." Taemin looked distressed, and he could barely keep eye contact with me. "I just wanted to know why, but I won't mention it again. I promise."

But even though I was sad to remember all this, I laughed lightly.

"If you have any doubts about what happened, Taemin, you can always ask me. You all can ask me anything. I will tell you everything you need to know about this. I like to be honest with you, guys, especially now that you're going to help me with this."

"Of course we will!" Key said and I saw that everyone's mood was improving. "We are your family too and we will support you in everything."

"We'll talk about you very well with Juliette." Jonghyun chuckled. "Juliette will have no choice but to fall in love with you again."

"And if Juliette accepts us..." Minho smiled. "We'll be her family too."

Taemin nodded with conviction because he, like me, was sure that this would work. Their words of encouragement managed to calm me a little, because I knew that I could always trust them. The years we spent together made us a family, and I expected you to see them the same way.

–––––– TO THE BEAUTIFUL YOU. ––––––

I sat on a bench behind the water fountain in the university while the moonlight embraced the earth (a phrase that Jonghyun had mentioned long ago) and in my mind and while I waited for you I tried to imagine how you could react to our first meet. I tried to imagine how confused you would be to see me here for you, what would you feel to know that the engagement we had since we were children was really happening right now. The total number of times we saw each other was different between us, but I still knew that this would feel like the first time for me as well. From the other side of the fountain that separated me from you, I saw you in the distance, leaving the library accompanied, although it was hard for me to admit it, with your best friend. Maybe I was jealous of the good relationship you had with Jinwoo, because many years ago we had a friendship like that.

Could you feel me walking towards you? That connection that once existed between us became thinner from your side years ago. A thin line that I hoped for it hasn't been broken. If I caused any slight reaction in you, as if I were a stranger you had ever seen at least once: that would mean that 1 percent of your mind, in the irrational part of your brain, you still knew who I was. Even if your rational side screamed that it was impossible. Our connection vanished in front of you without you noticing, as if it and I had never existed at all.

It was wrong what you did to that girl, of course. The drops of soda from the can you held fell from her face and made it obvious that she was going to take revenge for what you did to her.

"This does not end here, Hamilton." She said, clenching her jaw to control her anger, or the embarrassment you made her pass when she entered the library.

But apparently you didn't care. I knew you too well to know that the wall you created around you was too thick for her words to hurt or frighten you, but I could see your reasons behind your mask: that wall was to protect you and not been hurt again, not for her or for anyone else.

When you finally turned in this quiet night, angel... Could you feel something familiar in me? In the way I looked at you... did you feel something inside you?

Your hair was in a half ponytail and you still had that blue ribbon, and some strands of your hair fell back when you turned around and stopped yourself, as if the world around you had disappeared so that we were only you and I. I wasn't a ghost although you looked at me as if I were one. On the contrary, I felt completely alive when I saw your eyes. To this day I could still feel the tingle in my heart that your hand caused when you took mine when we were children.

"You can't do that, angel."

I really tried to make you see that what you did wasn't right, but I was too happy to see you to hide the happiness in my voice. The world kept spinning as you continued your way without me in your memories, angel, but before I did it too (if I ever could), I had to give everything for us before I left with nothing.

You blinked innocently at me, just like the girl in the video. The love we felt one day will remain asleep in your eyes, even if you never remember it.

–––––– TO THE BEAUTIFUL YOU. ––––––

Thanks to the incredible people who subscribed to this.
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Hope you like this chapter. 
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As always, sorry for some grammar mistakes.
Sorry not sorry for so much sweetness in this xd This story is dedicated to my best friend who always loved the most cheesy things in a relationship.
(I love you so much, S. You're the best ♥) 

Bye ^^